What does pair bonding look like?

Is pair bonding invisible?

Let's operate under the assumption that n-count and ability to pair bond are relatively correlated.

Let's say you start dating a woman and don't know her n-count. How do you determine if she can pair bond with you? Does pair bonding have detectable signs (let's call them positive signs)? At what point during a relationship will those signs manifest? Alternatively, does an inability to pair bond have detectable signs (negative signs)? At what point during a relationship will those signs manifest?

I'm doing M->F for sake of example but I don't see why something similar wouldn't work for F->M or any other combo.

Brainstorming:

positive signs

• active interest in spending time with you
  • initiates contact
  • notices (and lets you know she did) you when you don't initiate contact
  • order of preference: 1 on 1 time with you (most preferred), hang with you in social setting, hang with her friend(s) (least preferred)
  • includes you in her life; schedules around the presumption of being with you
  • ...without taking it for granted; appreciative of your time commitment and interest in her
• no loss of sexual appetite for you over time
• asks you for, values, and uses your advice/opinions
  • tells you about her life; open/honest sharing, not embarrassed or worried you'll judge her
  • willing to do things you want to do
  • can recover quickly and well when you disagree or even argue; no impact on long-term connection
• constructive attitude toward your relationship
  • "growing together"
  • shows a natural interest in doing things that benefit you or have mutually beneficial properties for you both
  • not constantly evaluating how balanced the relationship is

negative signs

• treats aspects of the relationship like commodities
  • "if I do this for you, you do this for me"-type mentality (caveat: sometimes it's good to think like this to evaluate balance... but doing it too often shows that you have some personal vested interest other than a mutual bond)
  • values you for what you provide, not for your inherent self; wants objects from you, not experiences with you
  • not interested in implicit relationship equity, seems reluctant to "give"
• behaviorally distant
  • goes off and does things without telling you, has friends she doesn't show an interest in you meeting
  • hangs out with you only when it's easy; complains about the terms of your interactions (who what where when why how), or simply doesn't engage
  • doesn't "miss" you; doesn't initiate social interactions or sex unless prodded or put in a situation where not doing so would be suspicious
• no "shared state"
  • doesn't reflect on things to you; only talks about things you experienced together, or only talks about present, incidental, or superficial things
  • her problems aren't your problems
    • if you're sad, she's an independent, outside observer; if she's sad, you may not even know, or just have to put up with a bad mood
    • if you're happy, it doesn't boost her mood; if she's happy, it might not be apparent to you, or she might just use it as convenience/leverage
  • her interests aren't your interests
    • doesn't ask you questions about your life or respond in an engaged manner to things you care about
  • her stuff isn't your stuff; her space isn't your space
    • doesn't want to live with you; doesn't you to live with her
    • feels uncomfortable with too much proximity; needs time by herself
    • doesn't like ending her nights or starting her mornings with you, even if you sleep in the same bed

Any thoughts are welcome. A possible questions is: can you ignore n-count and then use indicators such as possibly those from the above two lists after x-months instead? (For x=1, 3, 6, 9, 12, 24, etc). My personal belief is that a list like the above, after even just say 3 months, will be more accurate than n-count: you'll find women who won't pair bond with you even though they have few partners, and you'll find women who will pair bond with you even though they may have had a number of partners. I think in the former case, sometimes it takes experience to understand the non-sexual aspects of pair bonding, especially with regard to how to comfortably share your state with another person. People who struggle with intimacy often don't have experience with it. In the latter case, women may be able to separate the notion of sex in a pair-bonding context vs sex in a for-fun context; even though they get their physical response from sex in either case, there are strong contextual and psychological differences in the two situations that pair-bonding remains unaffected by the for-fun sex. (I've experienced this myself: I have had hookups that did not affect my ability to have long-term relationships afterward, and I have felt this about other things too, like kissing, etc.) I also think that both have to do with compatibility: as you can see from the list above, lots of the signs have to do with understanding each other. If two people naturally do not understand each other well, it may be hard to pair bond. So, someone who can pair bond with you may not be able to pair bond with someone else, and vice-versa.