Being your SO's "possession"

PhantomDream09 · 2017-07-23T21:57:43+00:00

Yep, I am his. I belong to him, he owns me, I respect and listen to him. I hold him above all others, and my first duty is to him.

I cater to his preferences, I follow his lead, I build him up in front of others, I never say a bad word about him to anyone. I work hard to make him happy, and actively guard our relationship.

Never_Evil · 2017-07-23T20:47:53+00:00

Seeing it this way has helped me out too; I'm tagging on because it's cool to see this post from someone young and in 'monk mode'.

I think a lot of what being "his" means probably comes from what 'respect' means to men. There's usually a lot of ways to show respect to your man, but the bottom line on RPWi has always been “Find a good man and defer to him; advice on the internet be damned.” The whole sub has content on how to defer and why deferring works.

Sometimes I think it might be more helpful to know what not being 'his' looks like. Or what disrespect looks like. For me, there's a quote on this post that helped me figure out one way that I've been disrespectful before:

Masculinity is popularly ridiculed in western culture as it is, but to respect a man is to compete with him, to out-masculine him. Cooperation or even recognizing that the genders could be complimentary is viewed at best as antiquated, at worst, sublimation to the male imperative.

I know I’ve had to remind myself to differentiate when ‘competing to earn respect’ is advantageous. Tbh I think for single women, at first, it’s pretty normal to do this sometimes. Especially during the vetting process, to weed out low-value men. But it seems that trying to ‘out-masculine’ an SO is disrespectful once you're in a committed relationship, and clearly doesn't show that you're "his".

littlegoosegirl · 2017-07-24T17:32:43+00:00

This is an incredibly relevant question and I absolutely consider myself "owned" by my husband. But, in the same sense, I think that considering myself as another object in his household is too shallow of a description. If I were to actually be an object, I would have next to zero obligation to do anything. Taking the car example: a car does not go out of its way to do anything (obviously, as it is inanimate). Now this may seem simplistic to say, but viewing oneself as a piece in your man's collection doesn't really put enough weight on you. Because obviously, you do need to do things, to be proactive, to serve with a willing heart. A car does not serve, it is used. An item in a collection is admired simply for existing. Of course it is cared for and looked on fondly, but expecting to just be an object to your man is lazy. Expecting him to simply act on your existence isn't enough. I'm not accusing you of this, but I do think that it's a trap someone could fall into if they took this the wrong way.

So, rather than seeing myself as being an owned object, I view my relationship to my husband as something closer to being his vassal, though infinitely more intimate than a simple exchange of military service and fealty for land. But, this idea of oath for oath: that is what defines our relationship. I pledged myself to him as first among his servants. I am his wife, and so that elevates me far above the status of "object" and even above the status of "serf" or servant. One does not expect the world of a simple servant, but my husband absolutely demands the highest forms of service from me. I'm his wife, the queen to his king. The queen is first among his subjects, but has infinitely more worth and responsibility than a knight or a chamber maid.

This comment got really long, sorry! I guess all this is to say: embrace being owned by your man, but view that ownership through the lens of being his subject, not his object.

Vessiliana · 2017-07-24T07:02:31+00:00

Well, the steel collar around my neck is a pretty good indicator. 💞

I always speak highly of my darling, showing him respect to his face and behind his back. (Easy because he is an amazing man!) The deference some of the other posters have mentioned is a huge thing.

The way I look at is this: my darling is out in the world every day, having to "battle" the world, so to speak. He is out there where no one will have his back, and he does his duty, no matter what that is, to support his family. So when he returns home to his castle, I try to make sure he knows that this is his place. It is his rest and refuge.

Since I am part and parcel of his home, as I am the one that makes it a home rather than a house, that carries over. I am his, too.

Camille11325 · 2017-07-24T20:16:32+00:00

I think that the car analogy is just that, a good analogy. I do not wish to be treated as an object, whether it is in a positive or negative way. I don't want to be fixated on, put on a pedestal, or any of the "good" things that would go along with being treated as a possession.

An RP relationship is not owner-object or master-subject. It makes sense that women connect with various analogies and metaphors that explain one aspect of their dynamic, but I hope no one is taking things literally.

whistling_dixie · 2017-07-28T04:10:32+00:00

I'm obviously several days late to the thread, it's been quite a week. Anyway...

I'm absolutely his. He is my first priority, and I do my absolute best to show him this. I don't speak negatively about him to others (with the caveat of jokes while we're together with friends), I sing his praises to everyone, and I try my best to do whatever he asks of me.

Humans guard their prized possessions; I am fortunate to be one of the things he values. He does not devote time to anything that does not enrich his life or move him forward. I wouldn't be his wife if I didn't bring something to the table.

Your question is how to show that you are his; be indispensable. Be his cheerleader, be his helpmeet, be receptive, and be faithful and cognizant when he needs a confidante. Be his comfort.

StoopedBaby · 2024-03-28T14:04:25+00:00

Grab em by the pussy lol

Title	Being your SO's "possession"
Author	sekoiasan
Upvotes	48
Comments	44
Date	July 23, 2017 12:44 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/6p13od/being_your_sos_possession/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/being-your-sos-possession.208842 https://theredarchive.com/post/208842

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