Am I a plate?

blueberrypanda1 · 2022-01-29T08:22:14+00:00

Can you please edit the description and add that you met being his sugar baby? It’s important information for us to have to give you proper advice.

Jenneapolis · 2022-01-29T00:11:02+00:00

Can I ask something - if he said on his dating profile he was looking for NSA and you knew you were not, did you have a conversation about this before you went out? If so, did you tell him you were looking for something serious and what did he say?

Apples2Watermelon · 2022-01-29T20:30:19+00:00

Those last 3 bullet points are your answers

SunshineSundress · 2022-01-29T00:33:18+00:00

Is this one of the men that you were seeing in a sugar daddy/sugar baby context from your post earlier this month? Because that changes how a lot of these factors that you listed out look.

If it was a typical 2-month-long relationship, I would say there was nothing necessarily problematic about your list of cons EXCEPT for the one that explicitly stated he’s looking for a no strings attached relationship and the one before it and after it. That one pretty much tells you that he’s not looking for anything serious with ANYONE, so by agreeing to date him you are agreeing to be in a NSA relationship. That isn’t to say that feelings don’t sometimes blossom in these arrangements, but coupled with the fact that he is your sugar daddy makes it seem like this a transactional and sexual relationship above all else. It’s up to you if you want to take the risk and try to change where you stand, but with the context of how your relationship started, the odds are not strongly in your favor.

TheTwincessMaker · 2022-01-28T23:55:05+00:00

I don't think casual dating means you're a plate, but it doesn't seem like he's serious about you. You need to decide if that's okay with you, even if you're exclusive. Exclusivity doesn't necessarily mean someone wants a long-term relationship. It sounds like he stated pretty clearly on his profile that he's just having fun.

TheShiningSun · 2022-01-29T05:13:46+00:00

Unfortunately yes, you are a plate.

If he wanted an exclusive, established relationship with you, he would have asked.

This guy doesn't want a relationship you, but he finds the sex very convienient.

You're better off finding a guy who pursues a relationship with you from the start rather than trying to change a man who doesn't want a relationship with you.

Now I know this is counter cultural advice, but to weed out the majority of men who want to spin plates you're going to have to have firm boundaries and abstain from having sex so soon.

Personally, I'm waiting until marriage to have sex as a result of living a Christian lifestyle. The couples I've met who do this tell me it was difficult but completely worth it.

Please understand one thing though: adult men evaluate whether they would want you as a fwb, gf, or wife within the first month. They assess the way you carry yourself and move forward from there. If you're confused on where you stand and you're currently doing fwb activities...he sees you as a fwb (a plate.)

OatBlender · 2022-02-01T21:33:39+00:00

I found your problem...

I met this man on a sugar daddy dating website

sabrinamarshmellow · 2022-02-02T01:02:28+00:00

If a man is on that website he is looking for sugar babies, not a relationship sadly. It seems like he enjoys having you around, does care about you, but does not have romantic feelings for you. :( I'm sorry honey. There are plenty of amazing men that are not on those websites.

Svenskamamma · 2022-02-06T10:39:21+00:00

I think a very good rule to follow is that if you’re asking this question, you already have your answer. An interested man doesn’t leave any room for doubt

EdessaKandros · 2022-01-29T00:06:40+00:00

Sounds like your having sex with someone who isn’t even claiming you. It’s up to you if your ok with that but just so you know sleeping with him doesn’t guarantee commitment.

RationalFemale · 2022-01-29T03:10:10+00:00

I’m not sure what your end goal is, but he put you in the not wifey box. He’s avoiding the feelings question because he doesn’t reciprocate. If men don’t reciprocate AFTER sex, they never will. Sending love xx

Usain_Joseph · 2022-01-29T22:08:23+00:00

Yes you are a plate .. that’s one, two .. because he is not seeing you as a wife material, if you want him to be committed to you show him some wifey traits so that he can get the message, if not drop him because you are not in the same frequency, I kept it short for convenience .. good luck

Title	Am I a plate?
Author	LemurianStarseed11
Upvotes	3
Comments	28
Date	January 28, 2022 11:09 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/sf3hd2/am_i_a_plate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/am-i-a-plate.1099181 https://theredarchive.com/post/1099181

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