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BDSM

vanBeethovenLudwig
February 16, 2017
28 upvotes
/r/RedPillWomen

Are there any RPW here that have a BDSM type sex life?Whether it's extreme whips and chains or light roleplay?

My boyfriend and I have a natural inclination toward master/slave roleplay during sex and I realized it also relates to our traditional style relationship. To me I love this type of sex/dynamic, and I feel more bonded to him in our roles afterwards.

Any other ladies prefer submission in the bedroom as well?

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Post Information
Title BDSM
Author vanBeethovenLudwig
Upvotes 28
Comments 26
Date February 16, 2017 1:07 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/bdsm.1072169
https://theredarchive.com/post/1072169
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/5ues1w/bdsm/
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Comments

[–]Fancy_Bits 15 points16 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

This is somewhat of a repeat from my comment in the 50 shades thread, but yes. Incoming wall of text!

My partner and I do lifestyle D/s (more specifically, Master/slave), which means we do it 24/7 and not just in the bedroom. To me, it is a natural outgrowth of RPW and the gender roles we are comfortable in.

I am a masochist and he is a sadist, so we get along very well in the physical aspects as well. We play across the spectrum. I identify as very “primal” so I prefer very hands on play. He can light me up with bruises just using his hands, but we also have a lovely collection of floggers, whips, crops, canes, shock collars (ooh they turn me into a giggling, screaming hot mess), metal claws, rope, and a variety of other items – such as weighted koosh balls on drum sticks. Those don’t really have a name, so we just call them “Strange” and “Charm” which are two kinds of quarks, because that is a “quarky” (quirky) kink toy :-) . I also really love being manhandled in general – choking, being held down, pinned against the wall, put in positions. I love those displays of his power and how it brings out that animalistic side to him that sometimes gets a little scary even. That is even more fun – that thrill of fear when he looks at me like something to consume for his pleasure.

We are in a D/s relationship as well though. Specifically we are in a Master/slave relationship, which is the more intense version of it. He and I both have a lot of experience in BDSM and D/s though, and M/s is something that I wouldn’t at all recommend without a very slow build up and at least a few years of experience doing Dom/sub before going to Master/slave. There are of course other D/s types you can do – like Daddy/babygirl, which has nothing to do with incest or age play but refers to the Dom being more gentle, guiding, and more tolerant of antics rather than more strict, or the Daddy-Dom/bg which is kinda in between the Daddy/bg and the Dom/sub. I’ve done D/s, Daddy-Dom/bg, and M/s. I much prefer M/s, but it takes a very special man to be a Master. The amount of trust and responsibility is really dramatic, and it is so, so easy to abuse that. I’d say most men couldn’t be even Doms, and only a tiny subsect of Doms can be Masters.

Some aspects of D/s are like RP/RPW but taken to a higher level I think. That is a simplification of course, and there is more to it – but the overlap is pretty major. For instance, I am a liberal feminist living in Seattle, WA. I disagree with a lot of what is said here about feminism – but I LOVE RPW because it is hard to find communities that value male-led relationships and domesticity like RPW does. So I keep my mouth shut about feminism and “take the great, leave the bad” aspects of RPW. I have no issue syncing my feminism with my M/s relationship or my ideals of RPW. I serve my Master in the same ways – I cook, clean, tend to his needs, take care of the pets, I organize, plan, and make sure what he wants done gets done. I obey him implicity, don’t challenge his authority (or try not to, I slip up), and he is my rock and my leader.

Not all D/s does the domestic aspects though. I value “service submission,” which is doing the domestic work, as well as body service like massages, mani/pedis, etc. Some D/s relationships are far more egalitarian in the chore breakdown – but they are still led by one partner. And of course, some D/s are female-led relationships too. But for the kind of D/s that my Master and I like – the M/s with service submission that includes domestic and body service, the overlap between D/s and RPW is dramatic. Really, the only significant bone of contention is the view of feminism (and as mentioned I don’t want to or need to debate it, I just have always stayed quiet about my dissenting view :-).)

There are some aspects to D/s and particularly M/s though that are lacking in RPW though that I love. M/s is a lot more strict. I cannot say no for the most part. Now, I have not lost my autonomy. I can leave at any time, I can refuse to do anything I want. I am not a robot, abused, or shut down. And he demands that I refuse to do anything that will harm him, myself, or our pets. Outside of that though, his word is law and I obey. I can be punished – up to and including physical. Again, none of that is abuse. We have negotiated what is acceptable punishments and what is not acceptable. We discuss any corrections or punishments I get, and I always know what the punishment will be and what it is for. I can disagree with or question any decision he makes. I have to accept his decision and obey it – but I can have my own opinion and share it nonetheless. I ask for permission to do a lot of things – to see my friends, to make schedule adjustments, to buy things. Rarely does he say no, and it is almost always with good cause like of a conflicting commitment or he doesn’t think we need that item. I have a lot of freedom, but that freedom is bound by his tolerance.

We do a lot of protocol as well. For instance, when I bring him a drink I make sure it is turned in such a way that if his eyes were closed and he lifted it to his mouth the opening would line up so he could drink right away. I walk on his right side out in public so that he is between me and the street (and therefore cars and strangers.) I call him “Sir,” not his first name – although in vanilla settings or in introducing him I do call him by his name. We have hand signals so that if we are in a conversation and he wants something he can signal me without having to interrupt the verbal flow. While I may tease and cut up a little bit while we are in private, in public or when out with friends I am on my best behavior with him. Disrespect is not tolerated at all. I am a representation of his training and skill as a Master, especially to others in the kink community, and as such, my actions reflect strongly on him. Therefore it is vital that I am demure, attentive, sweet, and obedient. If I need some time to goof off I can ask for “brat time,” which he may or may not grant. I can also ask for time off from being “in service.” I rarely do this as I love serving him, but if I am really exhausted or stressed I may ask for the evening off – which means I won’t be cooking dinner, cleaning, getting him drinks, etc.

In return, he is intensely protective and caring of me. For all that I give him, and serve him, he returns in being my rock and taking care of me. He gives me the guidance, boundaries, and safety so that I can focus on him and the freedom of that submission. I get to put down so much control and give it to him, which destresses me and allows me to relax and focus on what I love best – taking care of him, his friends, and making people happy. He watches out for me and make sure I’m not overextending myself, that I am getting breaks even when I’m not asking for them, that he’s meeting my physical and emotional needs, and that I am happy and content.

I was married in a vanilla relationship for 14 years. I was very unhappy. My husband was a beta in Alpha clothes. He was demanding, selfish, and wanted me to be his submissive without ever being my Dominant. It ended up being emotionally abusive. Eventually we opened up our relationship for the last 6 years, and during that time I dated other men. Those relationships were always D/s relationships (which is something I have been doing since before I met my ex-husband) and that is where I knew my true happiness laid. I knew even then if I ever divorced my husband I would never accept anything less than a 24/7 D/s relationship with an active BDSM component. When my ex and I separated, I landed with my Master, and I have never been happier. My D/s is as vital to my sexuality, is as much a part of my core sexuality, as is where I land on the hetero-bi-homosexuality scale. It is as much a part of me as my gender is. If I cannot live in a D/s relationship, I cannot live my authentic self. And if I cannot have BDSM – the masochism and sadism, the pleasure and pain mixed together, the thrill of fear and the teasing and giggling and pushing boundaries and getting those warning Looks from him that turn me on like nothing else – then I cannot really experience the full joys of sex.

[–]BeklagenswertWiesel 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

i do don't think anyone could have said that better.

edit: because i'm retarded

[–]CumForJesus 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

i do think anyone could have said that better.

that's not very nice :)

[–]BeklagenswertWiesel 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

omg - edited for the correct word

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

There are of course other D/s types you can do – like Daddy/babygirl, which has nothing to do with incest or age play but refers to the Dom being more gentle, guiding, and more tolerant of antics rather than more strict, or the Daddy-Dom/bg which is kinda in between the Daddy/bg and the Dom/sub. I’ve done D/s, Daddy-Dom/bg, and M/s. I much prefer M/s, but it takes a very special man to be a Master.

Interesting! I don't consider myself full-on BDSM, but the subtypes are interesting to me. Could you explain more the differences?

In return, he is intensely protective and caring of me. For all that I give him, and serve him, he returns in being my rock and taking care of me. He gives me the guidance, boundaries, and safety so that I can focus on him and the freedom of that submission. I get to put down so much control and give it to him, which destresses me and allows me to relax and focus on what I love best

I identify with this so much!

[–]Fancy_Bits 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can do my best! I’m far from an expert, but at least as far as the D/s I think I’m pretty proficient.

The biggest thing to realize is that labels are inherently only as accurate as the participants want them to be, and so at most they are very limited short-hand. Each dynamic will be different and partners will have to figure out what works for them. Each of my D/s relationships has been very different – some have been very good, some have been terrible. I have been with Doms, Daddy-Doms, and Masters. For the sake of brevity, the various levels of D/s are generally shortened to D-types (Doms, Daddies, Daddy-Doms, Masters) and s-types (subs, slaves, babygirls, brats.

Tangential – many predators will label themselves “Doms” and try to write off their controlling, abusive, domineering behavior as normal D/s behavior, up to and including physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse. Unfortunately most female s-types (women who identify as subs, slaves, babygirls) will learn this the hard way at one point or another. A good D-type (Dom, Master, Daddy) will first and foremost be a good Alpha, Man, and Partner, and the D/s is something that can only be built upon a solid foundation of friendship, respect, communication, compatability, and all the other tenets that are essential to strong relationships.

This is a general breakdown of the subtypes, with the caveat that the amount of overlap is very strong – and even within the same subtype it can vary dramatically.

Doms/subs: This one can vary the most widely. The sub agrees to give up some level of control to the Dom. Usually this involves at least sexual control, but can also involve things like asking for permission to do things like going out to a specific restaurant, seeing a movie, etc. The sub may have to call their Dom by a certain title, like Sir or Mister. They may give up control over some aspect of their schedule, what they eat, how they dress, or their bedtimes. There may be tasks the sub has to do – journaling, domestic chores, projects, check ins, etc. Generally the sub still retains a fair amount of control – they can refuse to do something, they may or may not agree to punishments, and they often retain a fair amount of autonomy. They can also potentially have a fair bit of playful-attitude/cheekiness without being seen as rude or disrespectful. However, in most things, the sub will defer to her Dom in the end and hold up his leadership as her guiding principle. This one probably most closely would fit in with most RPW experiences as far as general giving up of control and choosing to be in a male-led relationship.

Daddies/babygirls (also known as Daddies/little girls): This one doesn’t have anything to do with any sort of incest or age play, although some folks do have that as a fetish (I stay way, WAY the heck away from that though so I can’t and do not want to speak to any part of that…). Daddies are seen as far more gentle. Their babygirls/little girls (bgs/lgs) are given a lot of freedom to play around, be naughty, and do as they will. The Daddy’s responsibility is to take care of her, keep her safe, keep her happy, and enjoy that freewheeling, innocent aspect that she brings. Bgs/lgs often are really into a lot of kid-stuff like stuffed animals, coloring, Disney/Pixar, My Little Pony, etc. They get to engage in that sweet innocent side with a doting partner who doesn’t expect them to be an adult all the time – although the bg/lg IS an adult and IS expected to act like one when they need to, like at work, during serious discussions, out in public, etc. Daddies tend to allow a lot more things like backtalking, refusing to listen, not doing domestic aspects like chores and cooking, etc.

Arguably the Daddy/bg/lg dynamic can end up being much more of the bg/lg being in charge more than the Daddy as he tries to cater to her and keep her happy. I talked above about “service submission” – Daddies are often “service Doms” in that their focus is on taking care of their bg/lg and keeping her happy and not nearly as much as actually being in charge at all. It is also expected that in general bg/lgs tend to be more immature and selfish in nature, and so women who are the kind who self-identify as “Princesses” and think they need to be doted on as something super special…they generally will end up more as bg/lgs than subs.

Daddy-Doms/bg/lg: Very similar to above, but somewhere along the spectrum between Dom/sub and Daddy/bg/lg. Generally they allow more freedom and brattiness than Doms do, but not nearly as much as straight Daddies. They are still in charge, they still set rules, boundaries, and expect obedience, but they also expect their bg/lgs to sass, talk back, pout, and sometimes even try to get out of doing things – but in the end they still expect to be obeyed.

Master/slave: This is in general the most strict dynamic. It is considered much closer to a “total power exchange” where a slave may or may not have a safeword, may or may not be able to say no or refuse (except in exceptions where she has been given permission to do so, like in the case of a safety issue), and often behavior is much more defined and narrow. Generally backtalk or refusals are not allowed and punishments/corrections happen for lesser offenses than it would in a Dom/sub relationship. More power is given up, sometimes even to the extent of needing to ask to leave the house, use the restroom, to eat, to put on clothes, etc. In short, everything goes through the Master and only with his permission does it occur. While that sounds really intense, and it can be, in practice it usually isn’t. Behavior guidelines are set up and then the slave is free to act within them. A solid Master will understand and support a slave who, in the absence of being able to ask for input or permission, will act in good faith as she best sees fit, and so this isn’t something where you have to be in constant contact or asking for every single thing. And some Master/slave can be much more lax as well, but the core is still the same – that total power (within reason) is given over to the Master, as compared to only some power is given over in the case of a Dom/sub.

My preferred dynamic is M/s but with a dash of the Daddy-Dom/Lg thrown in. I love stuffed animals, Disney, and coloring. In fact, I have to have my chores done by 9 PM each night, and from 9-930 I have to journal, color, scrapbook, or do some other task that feeds my creativity that is only about me. It is his way of making sure that I get some downtime in my day that I usually otherwise would never get and that I have an outlet for that aspect of myself. On top of that he doesn’t mind the stuffed animals that live on our bed and couches (and bookshelves, and dressers, oh, and the giant pink llama I found at Goodwill that lives on top of the stairwell to greet guests as they come in) and while we almost always watch what he wants to watch, he’ll make sure to occasionally put on a movie he knows I will want to see (like Finding Dory that recently hit Netflix.) We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, but last night while picking up meds at the pharmacy I asked if we can wander down the aisle with all the V-day stuff to check out the remaining discounted merchandise, and he let me pick out a stuffed lion to add to my collection. For all of that though and his encouragement of that “little” side of me, we are primarily M/s.

For instance, when we host friends or parties, we are purely M/s. He manages the social side of it, keeping the party going. He has a big energy that draws people in, whereas I’m pretty quiet in groups and do much better in smaller interactions. I am hostess, taking care of making sure everyone has what they need, greeting guests, and cleaning up. Since our parties universally are both social (with food, movies, games) and kink (where folks can play, do scenes, etc) I have the added duties of supervising and making sure any supplies folks need are available (or if something special I can get it) and making sure everyone is playing safely – for instance, while we only invite over trusted individuals, I still monitor to make sure I don’t see anyone who looks like they might be getting in trouble or aren’t being paid attention to by their partner when they have a physical need to be paid attention to. I often have a couple women, fellow service submissives, who help me out in this. I am the “alpha slave” who everything goes through, and they are effectively my assistants or “beta slaves.” I am also responsible for making sure my “girls,” my beta slaves, are taken care of as far as getting breaks, enjoying themselves, understand their duties, and are getting lots of reinforcement and gratitude not only from me but my Master and other party goers. That is getting into a whole other aspect of though of BDSM and how service plays into it. But when hosting, my goal is to make him look good. When I look good, he looks amazing.

[–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

THIS was an amazing post. Such a well-written look at what a M/s relationship is like from the inside.

[–]Fancy_Bits 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you so much! I really appreciate that!

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor 4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

My boyfriend and I aren't hardcore BDSM nor do we identify with any community, but we do follow a lot of the master/slave practices in bed - he makes all the decisions (which positions and what we are doing) and when I'm giving him oral sex he basically dictates every move.

This is the first time I've had this type of sex and I realized how free I feel. I don't have to work to seduce him, I have everything planned out for me as long as I'm looking nice and pretty for him. But in terms of "what do I do, do I use my tongue, should I lick his neck, should I switch positions," I don't have to worry about this because he's the one telling me what to do.

I feel like I know what it's like to surrender to someone and I've never been so turned on before. Like my sex drive is at its highest, and I don't have to work to make myself aroused - when he's ordering me around I become incredibly aroused.

This translates to real life, although we're not as serious about our roleplay - I don't have to call him master or anything, but I definitely go with the flow and let him make the decisions. I do tell him when I don't prefer something (it can be simple like I prefer to stay home while he goes to the store instead of going together).

But the biggest aspect that I enjoy is that I feel safe in this dynamic, I feel like I'm protected, I feel free, I'm not anxious. Whether it's in bed or in real life, I put my trust in him, and I enjoy his lead.

That being said, I vetted him very carefully - I observed his decisions and choices and who he is as a man - and now I reap the benefits of being under his protection.

[–]teaandtalk5 Stars 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I vetted him very carefully - I observed his decisions and choices and who he is as a man - and now I reap the benefits of being under his protection.

Too many women don't vet enough, and jump into a LTR with someone unsuitable, and then have trouble 'surrendering'. No wonder - it's not safe to surrender to someone who can't lead!

I have friends in the bdsm community, and it sounds like there are lots of really shitty 'doms' out there, but they get the girls because they fill that need for control.

[–]Fancy_Bits 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You are very correct. There are a ton of terrible Doms out there, and most s-types will run into them eventually. Unfortunately I've run into them multiple times. I am fortunate that I always made it out without any permanent physical injury, but not without trauma.

Vetting is so, SO important but it can be really hard when you start getting those endorphin hits and starting to feel that maybe you can trust and surrender to this guy. There is usually a honeymoon period at first too before you start hitting the normal bumps in any relationship and seeing true colors come out.

Plus, a lot of predators talk themselves up as being "Alphas" and "Doms" and instead they are just abusive jerks who want to exploit and sleep with as many women as they can...and it can take time to learn how to spot them.

[–]teaandtalk5 Stars 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I guess it's the same as any group looking for love in a more limited pool (as they say, the second date for lesbians is picking out curtains): you're more willing to overlook red flags if you're dating in a minority than if you had the whole cis/het/monog/vanilla/etc mainstream dating pool to choose from.

[–]Fancy_Bits 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh yeah, and then that speaks to a whole other side doesn't it? Then you have to factor in the whole mono vs poly aspect! Poly is really really common in kink, so for those of us who are mono/mono-ish it can make an even more narrow dating pool!

Which speaks to another pet peeve of mine - Doms who want to date multiple submissives, but don't want their subs dating more than one Dom. Uh....gross. Bye.

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I vet my men on everything - lifestyle (does he binge drink? Eat healthily? Exercise?), family (what do his parents do? Are his parents divorced or still together? What kind of parenting style did they have? What do his siblings do?), hobbies (what books does he read? TV shows, movies?), friends (what do his friends do for jobs, what do they do when they go out?), clothing/hairstyle....EVERYTHING. Along with the major vetting like his dreams/ambitions, the way he deals with life, the way he deals with people, the way he deals with me.

Also vetting in terms of what he does in bed - when he's being too rough and I'm giving signals I can't handle it, does he back off? He has to have a keen sense of emotional and social intelligence to grasp if I'm feeling bad but I'm not saying anything.

[–]Fancy_Bits 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That is how it feels for me to. I can be in charge, I can handle myself. In all honesty, I have a ton of "shadow control" in some ways in my relationship in that I usually decide what to make, what to buy at the stores, I prepare the animals food, I make all the appointments, etc. I have a ton of power in that regard...but it is all power that he has given me to use.

Giving up the control to him means I can focus on what I do best - which is organizing, planning, cleaning, cooking, and tending him. He takes care of the big decisions, the safety, and takes care of me. With all that off my back, I feel safe, happy, and like a happy little worker bee who can build her home without having to worry about anything coming in to stomp on me or my beehive, or eat me!

[–]teaandtalk5 Stars 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

So, I'm familiar with the BDSM sub-types, from a lot of reading (Tumblr is a surprisingly good resource here - I looked up dd/lg [daddy dom/little girl] to discover what the acronym meant, and ended up learning a lot more!).

I think there can be overlap between BDSM relationships and RPW relationships. [edit: got confused] /u/Fancy_Bits', in particular, sounds like a really interesting dynamic, with actual power exchange. And many of those lifestylers doing 24/7 bdsm/etc are definitely acting out traditional relationship dynamics, albeit in a more codified way.

BUT, I feel that the majority of BDSM in the way that it seems to be practised in the mainstream does NOT fit into that. For a lot of women, it seems to be a way to get their man to play-act being Alpha, while not having to actually give up any rights/responsibilities outside of the bedroom. The way that 50 shades has made it into the mainstream seems like it leads to, in a lot of cases, a female-led relationship, but with occasional handcuffs and blindfolds. This isn't actually a change in the power dynamics - you can still be a shrew during the day, but get to have some of the rougher sex that lots of women crave.

Just some thoughts :)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I agree with you on the beta play-acting as an alpha, it seems to be a common trend where I live.

[–]teaandtalk5 Stars 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It seems like lots of women want a rough, sexy, dominant husband...without having to give up control anywhere outside of the bedroom.

[–]Fancy_Bits 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed completely...

Or they think they want to be submissive, but then when it gets hard or they don't get their way that first time, all the sudden they realize it isn't all peaches and cream and they change their mind and want "egalitarian," or more often "egalitarian in name, me in charge in practice."

[–]Fancy_Bits 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think in general D/s is not terribly mainstream. If you spend time on websites like Fetlife, which IMO is the best kink website out there, you will find lots of people who are in male-led power exchange relationships - and many who also value traditional gender roles in those relationships as well.

But, to an extent, I do agree that a lot of BDSM is portrayed as basically just an in-the-bedroom thing or doesn't actually involve any male-led relationships. And in that regard it doesn't fit into RPW at all.

That is where I would caution against looking at mainstream though - because mainstream in general would balk heavily at much of the power-exchange dynamics. In part, they likely should - as power-exchange isn't something to be entered into lightly and it is hard to impossible to normalize it without also likely normalizing some of the really negative aspects of it. The difference between a male-led relationship and a controlling, abusive relationship are stark on the inside - but from the outside they can sometimes look very similar.

For instance - I have to ask permission to set up dates with my girlfriends, or watch a movie or TV I want to watch. That can be seen as really controlling or even abusive (isolating me from my friends.) The fact that itt isn't at all and is part of a negotiated power exchange can be hard to see at face value.

It's a really mixed bag. In some ways 50 Shades was great as it introduced BDSM to a lot of folks and made it more mainstream. On the other hand, 50 Shades showcased a really predatory, awful Dom and an unprepared, and at first unwilling, sub in a very "sexy" way. It fetishized dangerous, abusive behavior...and lord knows we don't need any more of that in BDSM given how easy it is to fall into that trap already :/

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We're not active in the BDSM lifestyle but I suppose categorically we would fit most into the dd/lg sphere. You know how guys can be great leaders and captains without knowing about TRP? I guess that's like us and the whole dd/lg thing. I just learned what that even means in the last year or so, but it does fit us pretty well (minus age play). I think it's just a natural function of our personalities, he's so caring and always guiding me but also stern when he needs to be and I am naturally a bit childlike, goofy, always making him laugh with my antics, and require a lot of caring for/nurturing. :)

[–]bunniebell1 Star 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I do! It's great for the dynamic, just as you say.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm going to say yes and leave it at that. ;)

[–]kokoroutasan 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My SO is really my Sir, I just didn't know how everyone here was towards kink so I waited before mentioning it. I found this page because I was looking for a sub for 1950's style households honestly, but I'm learning so much and am so happy I found this group.

My Sir and I are 24/7 D/s for almost a year now. It's been fulfilling and freeing to both of us. :)

I'm his service submissive, both in terms of the house and sexual and we are so happy. Happiest either of us has ever been.

[–]clfrench 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry if I'm digging up an old thread. 4 months isn't that old, is it?

I actually found this subreddit because I was searching for somewhere to find link-minded submissive women. My SO and I began talking 5 years ago, both fully aware that we wanted a D/s DD/lg focused relationship. We met online. Now, we've been living together for about a year and it's been amazing. I'm not 100% sure if this is the subreddit for me, but it seems like TRP supports hyper-traditional roles. That's what we tend to gravitate toward. I think those roles go hand-in-hand with D/s for some.

PS. If any submissives who read this know of a subreddit where I can go talk with other submissives to give and receive thoughts, advice, etc. I would very much appreciate it. Thank you!

[–]Willow-girl 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

One of my husbands was into BDSM, which I didn't fully understand until it was too late, lol. I'm just a vanilla chick I guess! My experiences in that world left me with a bit of BDSM trauma, I guess -- I don't even enjoy the light stuff anymore; it's just a huge turnoff for me. Luckily my man isn't into that so it's not an issue.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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