Burnout

TheBunk_TB · 2020-05-14T14:49:22+00:00

Your work is appreciated. Please remember this.

teaandtalk · 2020-05-14T14:16:44+00:00

Self care, lady! Do some things to take care of you! It’s hard to do the usually things (at least for me because they’re cancelled) - but first of all - stop cooking everything so darn much. Have ready made breakfasts so the kids can serve themselves if old enough or you can just grab and go. If you are okay with more processed stuff - cereal, instant oatmeal. Yogurt tubes, canned fruit, protein bars. If you’d rather them eating a little healthier - fruit (clementines, apple slices, etc), cheese sticks, yogurt, hard boiled eggs, etc. Lunches can be pre made also - I like those pinwheel type wraps- you can make a week’s worth at a time. Sandwiches of course, microwaved soup, leftovers.
Prep some dinner things and figure out where you can cut back there also. We are doing one meal out a week (at a local place to support our local businesses)and my husband makes one meal a week. Rotisserie chicken is my best friend right now. Keep the meals simple and quick. The crockpot or Instapot can be great for this also.

Caring for children is also a full time job. There is no guilt in saying “I’m really tired of cooking. I’d love to not have to cook tonight” like Laura Doyle says to express our desires. Let him be a captain and solve your problem. There is also no guilt in saying “I need to go for a walk alone for 10 minutes” or take a bath or watch a stupid movie with the kids for the morning, or read a book you’ve been looking forward to. Being with kids 24/7 without distraction is very, very hard.

Edit / saw the kids’ ages - the 12 year old is old enough to cook a full meal if you teach them (my 12 year old son can make eggs, cookies, tacos, cook meatballs from frozen). The other kids are certainly old enough to make some oatmeal for themselves or put together snacks and lunches that don’t require cooking.

willowwishes · 2020-05-14T14:06:36+00:00

Take a break, gal pal. If you dont want that... Maybe try cooking with your kids, are they old enough that they can cook with you?

36trombones · 2020-05-14T16:29:14+00:00

People are giving a lot of good advice about how to save time in the kitchen, so I won't even try to add to that.

I periodically burn out too. I seem to go through periods of high energy in which I get carried away and start doing waaaaay too much. Then suddenly I crash and burn.

So what I'm trying to do is actually to create new projects for myself, so that I don't look for all my fulfilment in housework. I think that's what makes me aim too high and then crash. Obviously I don't have a lot of spare time, but I feel like actually setting my sights higher (creating personal projects) will make it easier for me to stop getting over-invested in the kitchen. As a side benefit, my marriage is usually happiest when I'm not obsessing over cooking / cleaning / kids.

2020-05-14T14:18:59+00:00

At night when everyone else is asleep and I am finally alone I do a lot of silent prayer and guided meditation.

I find mindfulness techniques helpful during the day when I need to dissociate.

ihavenopeopleskills · 2020-05-14T20:05:01+00:00

Build a nice creative space for yourself. We men might roll our eyes at the concept of a "She-Shed", but we have man caves for our creative outlets.

Find someplace on your property where to which you can escape for a little while. Do something relaxing or creative in that space.

wherethew1ldth1ngsr · 2020-05-14T13:44:42+00:00

Do you think maybe you could go easier on the cooking? Not stop but maybe don't aim for cordon bleu every time, if that's what you're doing?! I love cooking but have also got cooking fatigue recently, so for a couple of weeks I switched to really simple, minimum effort stuff – salads, sausages and peas, anything I could bung in the oven without really thinking about it (hello chicken goujons...). Took literally seconds and now I'm feeling a bit more creative. Also how old are your kids? Maybe if you got lots of sort of picky bits and pieces they could sort themselves out, at least for lunch? Growing up my mum quite often used to do a "bits and pieces" tea – e.g. everything from the fridge pretty much dumped on the table. We actually loved it.

As for decompression, that does sound tough, and I don't have kids so probably not best placed to advise. I've found getting outside has helped me let off steam though – even if just a 15 minute walk. And baths, and wine.

BonnieBelle255 · 2020-05-14T18:26:00+00:00

I don’t have kids but have always had the plan to make them do chores as soon as they able lol! I honestly wish my mom had asked us kids for help more often. I didn’t know how to do laundry until....I’m too embarrassed to say the age.

RedPillMissionary · 2020-05-14T21:46:59+00:00

Do you make enough for leftovers? My dad complains about cooking and dishes a lot, but he makes only enough for one meal, while dirtying about 8 pans. I cook enough for half the week and put a date on it.

alicat104 · 2020-05-15T00:47:02+00:00

I’ve been getting it real bad too, to the point where I’ll literally just sit and cry. I’m also pregnant and entering that magical time where I’m exhausted and everything is uncomfortable and smells bad.

Budget permitting, I’ve started ordering dinner out for pickup once per week (usually a Saturday/sunday!) and we do one “down and dirty” meal per week like a bunch of appetizers with a veggie platter. My husband eats like a picky 5 year old so he loves the two low effort days and if I space them out it gives me some time to breath. Also, for bigger dinner like baked ziti and lasagna I’ll use a disposable tinfoil baking tin and just dump it instead of trying to scrub off week old cheese.

xbabyxkittennx · 2020-05-15T06:14:28+00:00

In an airplane malfunction, you are told to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put the oxygen mask on your baby. So you can actually stay conscious to be able to put it on your baby.

If you don't understand: you can't do anything well if you don't feel good. Figure out what's bothering you, and attempt to make it easier on yourself.

heyyy-kiddo · 2020-05-16T13:13:46+00:00

You should discuss this with him,as eventually it's a problem that will backfire on you and him even if you don't want that. Tell him you are tired and need to do something else than cooking.Offer to make up for it if you feel guilty(a special meal maybe when you recover) and try to reserve time for hobbies. What you describe is the "feed up" syndrome ,it what I like to call it. During my exams I did 10h of math + physics a day. I was loosing my mind too. Your luck is that you have a husband.Talk to him,play with him(some silly card games maybe would help you take your head off the kitchen). Also you could order some food,and cook dinner all familly toghether? I remember "helping" my mom while my dad was the "chef's assistant".(don't expect things to be easy with kids in the kitchen)

Title	Burnout
Author	willowwishes
Upvotes	23
Comments	36
Date	May 14, 2020 1:34 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/gjmfsm/burnout/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/burnout.664627 https://theredarchive.com/post/664627

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