Dating younger men?

teaandtalk · 2018-11-10T23:18:06+00:00

I mean, there's a reason women typically date older. It's that a) men are ready to have children later than women are, and b) older men are more likely to be more dominant/confident/good at leading than younger men.

Is your man going to be happy, actually happy, with marrying and having children by age 30? Or is he going to feel rushed?

We don't know. We can't tell. It really depends on your individual man. But know that there are reasons that it's typically recommended against.

velvetcade · 2018-11-10T23:57:02+00:00

I think it's strange you've reached "cougar" status with a 2 year difference. Usually it's 10 years that warrants that title. My dad is 2 years younger than my mom and they met in their twenties too. In the long run, 2 years between them didn't make a difference because they were already in the same life stage. I think it's less age and really more about maturity level. My mom had 3 kids between ages 30 and 42.

Kara__El · 2018-11-10T23:44:00+00:00

If it works for you, it works for you, though I wouldn't define his friends' and brother's comments as "working." It never panned out for me. Any younger men I dated seemed too immature, too far from being ready to marry and have children, and perhaps that's why they were uncomfortable with my being older, as well. I was clearly on a different timeline.

In your situation, this is likely to matter less in 10 years, not more. I'm more concerned with the influence these guys have on your boyfriend, though. If anything is going to make him rethink this, it's their comments.

Zegiknie · 2018-11-11T10:49:11+00:00

Friends and brother are teasing. Does your age lower your mans social status? Or is the teasing not at all serious? Do you look your age? Then it could be a problem.

My husband and I are the same age, in fact I'm a few months older. I've always found myself attracted to (much) older men - never the boys in school. But then I fell for my husband. Probably because he has the maturity of someone his senior. It works. To be completely fair, he looks his age (mid thirthies). I look about 10 years younger, and ocassionally still get mistaken for a teenager*. I do think this matters, to how people perceive us, his social status. He gets to feel proud of me, and that makes a difference (harsh but true).

If he is family-minded, the becoming a dad young thing might be enriching and a big plus. I know men in their early 30s who are frustrated that they haven't managed to start a family yet.

If he is party-minded, he might resent not being at liberty to be irresponsible like his peers anymore.

The plan to wait until fatherhood until 35, what was it based on? Are those reasons still valid?

His friends likely won't be much of a support network. Do you have one?

No need to answer me, just food for thought.

*never smoked, never drank alcohol, hardly spent time in the sun, always slept as much as life allowed, plus genetic babyface features, in case you want my secret.

Jesus-slaves · 2018-11-11T12:10:20+00:00

2 years is really not a big gap. I know middle aged people in happy marriages with successful lives where the woman is older. Folks are teasing y'all or being jealous. Teasing is sometimes a way of encouraging a couple to settle down together. I'd try to keep that in mind and examine other factors instead. 25 is on the younger end of when guys start to chill. Some need to flesh out their party boy/bad boy side much longer.

AleaIacta666 · 2018-11-12T01:46:51+00:00

I like younger men because they have a different energy, better bodies and smell better.

The older a man gets the more he smells like fermented milk or mothballs.

But I' not sure if I could imagine a relationship with one because of long term perspective. But two years is basically same age.

Here is an example of a big age difference but they are together for 9 years

He's 34, she's 53.

https://www.berliner-kurier.de/image/23634596/2x1/940/470/496b8e3d0462398ab700d15c7368431f/zt/thomalla-heinevetter.jpg

CalmAbbreviations · 2018-11-12T05:12:04+00:00

My mother is 5 years older than my father -- he still can't keep his hands off of her. He's late 60s, she's early 70s. I don't think she would have had me (at 37) if she hadn't married my dad, who still wanted to father a child of his own.

Spazzy19 · 2018-11-11T04:02:41+00:00

For the longest time I seemed to only be attracted to younger men. My ex husband was only 2 months my senior, though. My boyfriend after him was 6 years younger than me and it never really bothered me.

My SO is the oldest partner I’ve ever had and he’s 8 years my senior. It works and it IS nice to have a guy who is established and in a good place in his life where he knows what he wants.

FearlessStranger · 2018-11-11T14:51:59+00:00

Those two years are completely acceptable. His Brother sounds like an asshole and I hope your Boyfriend has said something. Cause situations like this reveal his ability to be a true, honorable and trustworthy man.

GingerDoughGirl · 2018-11-12T08:23:27+00:00

I am three years older than my fiance. I had a hard line rule most of my life that I do not date younger men or frat boys, and certainly not someone who is both of those things. Then I met my fiance...he is greying so it is easy to forget he is younger than me. He is also so mature and put together in so many ways that it felt like dating someone who was middle aged with their life together. He teases me about being old because he is in his 20s and I am in my 30s, but it's just teasing. We live in a college town and he knows I am the only one of us who ever gets carded. I do not know if this age difference would work though if I felt like he acted younger than me.

NueNesta · 2018-11-11T01:02:55+00:00

Personally, I've seen it fail too many times. At a basic, psychological standpoint, I cannot see someone younger than me leading me. Not sure how many others feel the same though. Men in general tend to mature later than women anyway. I feel it would shift the dynamic too much.

yeahisaid · 2018-11-10T23:09:40+00:00

You want to hear stories about the consequences of dating someone 2 years older?

renegade · 2018-11-11T02:39:16+00:00

My ex wife and I were 27 months apart. This was fine when I was 20, but it was clearly going to be a bigger and bigger issue as we aged. My spouse now is 5 years younger and this feels a lot better. Logically it seems like bullshit and unfair, but experience lived is different. It has to increase the difficulty level for you in maintaining your health and appearance vs. his just due to societal norms being so different for men and women.

To be clear, it was not at all a big factor in causing my first marriage to end, there were much bigger problems that developed over time.

Pixie0310 · 2018-11-11T15:28:46+00:00

Most any relationship can work, but for me personally, it has not worked with younger men & I would never date one again.

I've only been in 4 serious relationships in my life. The first was 3 years older, but we were both too young, and when I started pressing for marriage, he backed off.

In walked number 2, who was about a year younger. We were together less than 3 years, he was a man-child, and the entire relationship was a farce. He was never sexually monogamous, he had no real interest in being in a relationship, and pretty much wanted a party partner.

After him was number 3, who was almost 2 years younger. I dominated the relationship. He never advanced in his career, he was irresponsible, he couldn't face up to anything. He was very, very beta. We were more friends than lovers, and had no sex life. We were together about 10 years, but they were not happy years. Children were not an option with him, because he was terrified of being a father. He was an alcoholic who was happy playing video games and watching tv.

My fiance now is 12 years older, and it's the best relationship I've had. It's the only one that makes sense. He takes the lead, he has a stable job, he is responsible and strong. He never avoided talking about marriage or kids.

I think with a younger man, unless he's naturally very strong and dominant, it's too easy for him to fall back into letting the woman take the lead - and it's too easy for a woman to do so. That's been my experience, personally.

suzannehatton · 2018-11-11T05:29:15+00:00

Ever since I was little it was always expected that the male is always older in the relationship.

It is advised. For VERY good reasons.

Probably because it’s attributed to men being providers and maturity levels.

There is a lot more too it than that but yes this is the basic premise.

His desire to wait until he is 35 is sensible and healthy. You may both choose to go ahead, and it may or may not work out, but you can't pretend you didn't know what his ideal plan would be. He has told you.

Yes, he may come to resent you for tying him down too early. But more likely you will come to resent him if after you have had children you realise he wasn't really ready for marriage and fatherhood.

It is your responsibility to make sure you have children with someone who is being honest with himself and you, and is not just going along with what you want because he is too frightened to break up with you.

Title	Dating younger men?
Author	R3adFoxx
Upvotes	31
Comments	23
Date	November 10, 2018 10:50 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/9vyopw/dating_younger_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/dating-younger-men.67815 https://theredarchive.com/post/67815

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