Declining calories

mcscratchandsniff · 2017-06-15T00:01:18+00:00

However I find it very difficult going on dates because the guy always says something along the lines of "oh you're dieting, come on eat more" or if we want to do something fun like go to the beach and have a smoothie, I always order a low calorie drink like sparkling water, or iced black coffee. And he'll say something again.

I stopped here. This is an issue with assertiveness and feeling judged for things you aren't being judged over.

Any advice? How can I be graceful and fun to be around while losing some weight?

Stop being so self-conscious about your choices and feeling like you're doing something wrong. That's the only issue here.

anothergoodbook · 2017-06-15T02:36:06+00:00

A couple of ideas: Choose non-food dates

Save your calories for the date

Choose foods that fit your calorie goals (a lean chicken dish with a side of veggies) and eat slowly

Start learning to have a sense of humor about it, like other commenters have said.

Waterboo2 · 2017-06-15T02:05:05+00:00

Maybe he doesn't understand that the majority of fit/non-overweight women need to watch their weight? A big problem is the average man can eat more than the average woman while maintaining a normal weight. In this situation, some education on the subject might be necessary.

radioactivities9 · 2017-06-15T01:47:23+00:00

Just tell him you're not a strong/big/muscular (whichever suits ya) man like he is and couldn't possibly eat as much. You can also straight out say that you're sensitive about being teased in that manner.

jack_hammarred · 2017-06-15T12:24:11+00:00

When anyone says "You're fine the way you look now," my go to response is, "I appreciate that, but I like to push the needle. Just how fine can I look? 😎" Bonus points for a little titty shimmy if I'm up for it and don't want people to think I take myself too seriously.

I think the tip about saving your calories is a good one as well, but you shouldn't have to tailor your health habits to avoiding comments that are annoying.

There's always negative punishment. I'm not being high handed when I say this either. When you're really sick of the feedback, just wink and excuse yourself from the conversation or immediate area. The person might not get the picture and amend their behavior and eventually you may have the conversation outside of the typical scenario to explain what you're struggling with, but it's an option.

You can throw down the expertise card, mentioning you're working with a dietician/physician and are just trying to dutifully follow advice you're paying for, or mention that you've had to step back from strenuous exercise and are compensating with more disciplined food choices.

I think it's important to ensure he knows you value his support, advice, and compliments. "Babe, eat these taters and ice creams." "Aww, thank you for making sure I know you care about my well being! continue about daintily eating half your salad"

I think it is worth considering whether you may be being a little too high maintenance about it. I try to analyze myself objectively in this regard pretty often. I am not poo pooing high maintenance at all, nor do I think it's anything to be ashamed of. But there does come a point where making decisions that are optimal for health and beauty are definitely fun sucking. Sometimes they can make it seem that a person is more interested in themselves and their vanity than they are in being a present minded friend. It's kind of like not following a dress code because you really want to wear something, and you're so improperly prepared for the event or activity it looks like wearing those Loubs or those grungy basketball shorts (goes both ways) is more important than actually celebrating and respecting the event, you know? I'm not saying disregard your health, but I'm just reminding you that sometimes unintentionally being so health and figure conscious can tell your date that your regimen is more important than spending time and enjoying that time with them. It speaks of discipline and responsibility, absolutely, and you can't ignore your health, but just don't cheat yourself by not looking at yourself as objectively as possible :)

Side note... 1/3 of edible food is wasted. I know in most all cases getting that food to people who need it is more of an infrastructure issue that as one individual can't be solved, but the environmental impact of food waste is serious. As much as possible, I think only ordering what you will actually eat is a responsible choice. It's sometimes tough with such large portions though, but my environmentalist streak couldn't not say this :)

mwait · 2017-06-15T13:44:31+00:00

I have dated a lot of women who are very figure conscious... And it seems to me that many women have internalized this belief that, above all else, they must be thin and thin is attractive. And while that is absolutely great in the bedroom when the clothes come off, it can be a real buzzkill on a true going-out-on-the-town type of date.

If she wants a salad instead of meat and potatoes, that's awesome. But if she won't allow herself a single drink or glass of wine because she is restricting her caloric intake, that ends up being too high maintenance for me.

To your actual question... I have definitely teased girls before about how little they are eating. In almost every case, it has been my way of complementing their dedication to their body/figure/diet. I don't actually give two shits whether or not they eat more or clean their plate. But the teasing is just poking fun of the dainty way they eat those tiny little mouthfuls of their mixed greens. It is cute in a young/fresh/feminine sort of way.

If your man is being more aggressive and actually trying to get you to eat more than you want, either tell him to back off or say something about having had a big lunch, etc. If this is a constant/common thing, you may want to have a talk with him.

FleetingWish · 2017-06-15T16:37:57+00:00

Him: "You don't need to lose weight"

You: "Thanks :D, I guess my hard work is paying off!"

OwnedAndLoveIt · 2017-06-16T01:54:05+00:00

How tall are you OP?

Nyquil-Junkie · 2017-06-19T13:52:49+00:00

The occasional plate of food or snack wont kill you or make you fat. Enjoy life now and then. Women who refuse to enjoy life now and then are a real buzzkill.

littlebit_ · 2017-06-21T15:08:05+00:00

Out of curiosity, do you actually like your diet food? It sounds like your man just wants you to enjoy yourself, but you're giving off the vibe that your miserable because you can't stand the food you're eating.

PS: don't be embarrassed about sharing a dessert on a date! It's cute :)

littlebit_ · 2017-06-21T15:08:05+00:00

Out of curiosity, do you actually like your diet food? It sounds like your man just wants you to enjoy yourself, but you're giving off the vibe that your miserable because you can't stand the food you're eating.

PS: don't be embarrassed about sharing a dessert on a date! It's cute :)

OwnedAndLoveIt · 2017-06-15T00:09:27+00:00

It's what you eat, not how much. If he comments call yourself a 'grazer' or that you don't eat much (a femine quality). Choose healthy options and dig in.

akanachan · 2017-06-15T00:58:49+00:00

Sex (the type that feels like a full-body workout) burns a lot of calories.

^^ (I'll show myself out before someone throws a baking tray at me.)

Title	Declining calories
Author	pumpandsump
Upvotes	14
Comments	34
Date	June 14, 2017 11:42 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6hbdvb/declining_calories/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/declining-calories.72977 https://theredarchive.com/post/72977

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