I've had a very long and complicated dating history (in serious relationships since I was 13, I am 33 now). Was getting played around in a situationship most recently, but I took some time off to heal and was getting ready to dive into the world of online dating with the aid of a therapist made dating coaching program. I ended up getting asked out by one of my massage therapy clients before I even got on the apps and decided to give him a shot.

We've only had one date and he's already smitten with me. He's 40 and is about to finalize his divorce from an 18 year marriage. This would be a red flag initially but he really does seem ready to move on as I think he's been separated for a while now. He asked me straight off the bat if I was interested in a relationship with him (just making sure he wasn't friend zoned, not asking for a relationship immediately). He wants to talk to me and see me all the time as he took time off work to deal with the divorce. I told him I needed to take things really slow as I've been burned in the past and he was pretty understanding. He already has an "us" mentality about us, asked if he could go to church with me, said if things go well with us he could move me out of my studio and into a home, invited me to his nephews birthday in October and told his friends he hopes I'm the one he's been searching for.

I am being very cautious as I've been with guys who said all the right things and then turned around to do the opposite. But I feel like there's something different about this guy and I feel different too because I've spent the last 3+ years exposing myself to RPW theory and feel that I have grown a lot. I am a bit let down because I was actually excited about the prospect of dating different men and trying to find the best match, I actually signed up for a dating coaching program that I feel like I might need to ask for a refund for or transfer it to the relationship program because this guy just seems so wonderful. At first I was going to still put my dating profile up just out of curiosity to see who else was out there, but I know if he found out he would be really hurt and honestly I would be hurt if he did the same.

I've been told on this platform before that I shouldn't expect much from the guy who would want a relationship with me. I'm post wall with bipolar and severe medication issues, struggle to make ends meet for myself, with a past that is colorful to say the least. I still don't have many solid hobbies and spend too much on my phone. I've failed at accomplishing my nun mode goals again and again to the point where I decided its not really worth it for me to keep trying and delay dating any longer. But this guy has a heart of gold and told me he could overlook my past because he likes what he sees in my present so much. He makes 175k a year so I don't think he cares about my lack of career. Will have to see if he accepts my bipolar diagnosis and medication issues but I have a feeling he will.

So I guess my question is, should I forgo trying to date everyone else and give him my undivided attention as I have done in the past with guys I've dated? I only have 6 months before I'm 34 so I really don't have time to waste. I've thought about maybe making profiles just to see who's out there out of curiosity, to help me solidify how I feel about him. He's such a rare gem that it feels like a waste of time to try and sift through guys on online dating to find anyone of the same caliber. Still, I promised myself I would do things differently as the classic "end up with whoever shows up in your life" approach has never worked for me in the past. But maybe he is different? In what ways do I need to be vetting him over the next few months for me to know its safe to give my heart to him?

On a side note... the only thing I can think of from his end that I feel like could be a potential dealbreaker is he expressed interest in moving to the mainland (we live in Hawaii), which would be kind of heartbreaking to me. He said he wants to retire in Hawaii, but for me I honestly feel like I'm going to die pretty early because of my health issues and I just moved back here after 5 years away on the mainland. I thrive so much here and don't want to start all over again. I know my health issues could potentially get a lot worse over there. So I'm hoping I can convince him not to (fires, Lyme disease, his kids live in Hawaii) or that he's not 100% set on it. I had another boyfriend from here who expressed interest in moving but he never did so I'm hoping this guy might also just be fantasizing about it as he's lived here all his life. I just don't want to be foolish and keep pressing my luck thinking I'm going to find something better and pass up a great opportunity.