How does this all work in an extremely liberal culture where no one gets married?

_Pumpkin_Muffin · 2022-09-28T13:02:35+00:00

Attraction and relationship dynamics are heavily influenced by cultural factors. It's entirely possible most Danish men don't place as much weight on past sexual history or are not looking for marriage.

You can always state your intentions clearly and place weight on whatever you want. You still need to be attractive AND interesting for the long term. Some men might be more dominant but afraid to show it - these are the men you need to help "come out of their shell", and they will respond well to you being feminine and submissive. When you show softness and receptivity in small ways, if the man responds by taking charge more/getting more protective etc., then in turn you can be more vulnerable - it becomes a self-sustaining cycle where you both can slowly and safely explore these roles. Start small and look for the signs he might be interested in such a dynamic.

Of course, one can never be really soft or vulnerable with a hook up - but I don't think hook ups are a good way to get a committed relationship anyway, no matter the culture. You need to meet men in a different way. Do you have any hobbies? Do you have any friends that might connect you to other people?

LateralThinker13 · 2022-09-28T13:45:44+00:00

In a society where most people are liberal, look for the man who stands out as not. Absence of tattoos, clean groomed, muscular, no man bun, etc. Yes, those are stereotypes, and not wholly reliable.

But if I was looking for a RPW, I'd do the same thing, and seek out a woman who embraces actual femininity, and the telltales of that: long hair, feminine presentation (sundresses, tasteful makeup, demure instead of loud, supportive instead of bossy) etc.

Same principle applies.

u/crimsonphoenix said it well below:

Conservative men won’t be scared off or think you’re too much when a women says she wants marriage. A feminine man will be scared off because he’s not motivated by hard work. So before you even go looking for a conservative man please look for a man that loves challenging himself and working hard. Actually you don’t even have to look for these men. Once you are open and honest and in your feminine these men will find you and they will seek you out

The only caveat to that is, you have to put yourself out there to BE found. They can't find you psychically, they can only find you visually. Join clubs where men do masculine things (hiking, gyms, camping, whatever). Go to an entreprenurial meetup. You can find plenty of ways to make yourself available to these men.

crimsonnphoenix · 2022-09-28T12:42:52+00:00

Hey! I’m from Sweden! I so relate to what you said about Scandinavia being so liberal that even other liberal places seem conservative!

My advice is , and I tell this to all my friends who ask me how I met such a conservative guy (which tells you that there’s actually quite a few men and women even here who secretly or unknowingly crave a red pill lifestyle) I actually met my now fiancé on tinder when he was in my city.

So I asked my fiancé why he wanted to be with me and he told me that he instantly knew that I was a conservative type and that he felt safe and confortable with me and could see me as the girl he would marry and have kids with the first day that we talked. The second day he actually told me he loved me and this was even before we met in real life. I think it worked out for us because we specifically met on a dating app and since we didn’t know each other we just told each other everything and we’re completely honest from the beginning that we wanted marriage. That’s why the best way to not waste or time when it comes to dating is being as upfront and clear about this from the start. Conservative men won’t be scared off or think you’re too much when a women says she wants marriage. A feminine man will be scared off because he’s not motivated by hard work. So before you even go looking for a conservative man please look for a man that loves challenging himself and working hard. Actually you don’t even have to look for these men. Once you are open and honest and in your feminine these men will find you and they will seek you out because they are not afraid to go after what they want. Men know what they want almost instantly and they always go for what they want, Men with that kind of drive and mindset are masculine and provider types.

So if you’re dating a man and he’s not making it official it only means one thing, he doesn’t want you he’s only wasting you’re time until his dream girl comes along. You probably already know this but I really wanted to say this anyways in case someone who really needs to hear this is reading my post.

I’ve had this conversation with my man so many times and he always says that nothing makes him happier than working hard and spoiling me. That’s literally his purpose. I met my fiancé when he was only 21 and I don’t even think he knew what red pill was but he was always a hard working person and I’m not surprised that he is actually the provider in our relationship now.

I think there are a lot more Scandinavian men out there who want this kind of lifestyle but they are so afraid to admit it it’s sad. My best friend straight up is moving to Dubai because she just can’t stand Swedish men anymore.

Also Scandinavia is so socialistic that it just doesn’t even motivate people to work hard. Everything has to come easy and everything has to be fair and equal and humble so like we don’t even live in a society that inspires conservative values. But there is plenty of young people here who are unhappy with this kind of society.

This got so long but I really hope this helps!

Svenskamamma · 2022-09-28T12:06:18+00:00

My husband is Swedish and we have a very traditional marriage with me as the homemaker and he the breadwinner. We have a few friends living in Sweden (we live overseas currently) who have a similar dynamic, one thing I’ve noticed is that the husbands with stay at home wives are all very successful men and none are religious.

My husband has often said there is no way he could dedicate the same time and energy he does to his career if I worked too, he’s thankful for the space my managing our home and children gives him, I suspect our friends feel the same.

I don’t think my husband wanted an inexperienced or necessarily submissive woman and none of the wives I’m referencing are like that, the things we’ve all had in common is that we had our own achievements prior to meeting our husbands and treated ourselves with respect and are all feminine in that we take care of ourselves and those around us. From my knowledge not one of our relationships started as a hookup.

FleetingWish · 2022-09-28T16:40:46+00:00

Marriage is not part of the red pill. The red pill is a guide to how to interact with men for positive relationships with them, that's it. I am not married and my partner doesn't want marriage, but we've been in a happy, fulfilling relationship for the past 10 years.

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-09-28T11:40:50+00:00

Yeah - most men here say they want a woman with a career. A lot of these ”truths” just don’t apply here.

(Why am I being downvoted? I'm not saying that it isn't possible, just that a lower amount of men are looking for that kind of dynamic here.)

AutoModerator · 2022-09-28T10:56:28+00:00

Title: How does this all work in an extremely liberal culture where no one gets married?

Full text: Hi everyone. I’m from Scandinavia (Denmark) where most people view even somewhere like the liberal parts of USA as very conservative when it comes to romance. Like, I don’t think I can overstate this. People barely get married, a non-married committed relationship and a married one is seen as exactly the same - my own parents had a house and kids and a summer house but they never married and that’s the norm. Men don’t really ask women out. Most relationships start as hook ups and again that’s not an exaggeration. Maybe Danish men are subconsciously the same as most men, and desire an inexperienced submissive feminine woman, but they sure don’t behave or date that way.

I’m wondering if any Scandinavian or Northern European ladies in here have any idea/insight how to navigate this? How do you find this if you’re not deeply religious? Are there red pill “truths” that you have to “tweak” a bit due to our culture?

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Title	How does this all work in an extremely liberal culture where no one gets married?
Author	jegforstaarikke
Upvotes	76
Comments	25
Date	September 28, 2022 10:56 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/xq9iyt/how_does_this_all_work_in_an_extremely_liberal/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-does-this-all-work-in-an-extremely-liberal.1133598 https://theredarchive.com/post/1133598

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