How to feel beautiful?

Hot_Blacksmith_3404 · 2024-02-28T21:28:39+00:00

Delete all social media for at least 3 months. Seriously. If/once you go back, you’ll realize the women you’re seeing are significantly more attractive than anyone you see in real life. You have an artificial sense of what the beauty standard is.
Look around at the average person (man or woman). Most barely take care of themselves physically at all, and it shows. Just by virtue of you eating well, dressing well, playing sports, etc. you’re most likely already significantly more physically attractive than the average person.
Do some things to build your confidence outside of your appearance. Set some big goals and achieve them (write a book, run a marathon, learn how to bake sourdough, make your own dress, start a business, etc). That confidence will spill over to all areas.

SeriousMaintenance76 · 2024-02-29T04:17:07+00:00

Pole dancing classes has completely changed my relationship with my body and I think for the first time in my life. I am just happy with my body.

pieorstrudel5 · 2024-02-28T17:48:51+00:00

If you take care of yourself and still feel this way - it sounds like self esteem.

Things that helped my self esteem..... Lifting weights. I know you say you take care of yourself.... But lifting weights regularly changed my brain for the better. Every woman I meet who lifts weights has great self esteem.

It's the whole Elle Woods theory "Exercise creates endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't kill their husbands." In this case, happy people typically have a lot of self confidence.

I use an app called FitBod. $80/year. Get a cheap planet fitness membership. Set up your app and go! It will tell you exactly what to do.

I think there is just something about pushing yourself and getting better/stronger that just makes you appreciate your body. It doesn't have to be weight lifting.... But if you aren't pushing your fitness. Try it.

Everything else? Go talk to a professional! Mental health is everything.

TimeYoghurt7332 · 2024-02-28T18:00:37+00:00

One thing to add maybe is that I don't have big breasts and I feel like I never felt "feminine" because of it. But I also don't wanna do surgery because I don't think the problem will go away after...

Ad_Inferno · 2024-02-28T18:03:25+00:00

First of all, get rid of any social media that makes you feel inadequate. To not do that first is to set yourself up for failure from the start.

I don't have a lot to offer beyond that, though. I started eating well, working out, and wearing makeup, and what I found was, oddly enough, instead of directly making me feel beautiful, it made me more confident in myself and that made me just not care what other people thought of me anymore, and that confidence eventually made me feel attractive and made others see me differently as well. So what I think you need to do is rather than tackle the "beauty" problem directly, you have to go deeper and do the work to figure out why you don't feel confident and fix that.

Lots of things are going to change your subjective perception of how beautiful you are - that's part of being a woman. I'm 33 weeks pregnant, and my husband has basically said he doesn't find my pregnant body attractive (he fumbled the wording, but I get it - he meant pregnancy itself is not sexy to him and I think that's completely fair because it's not sexy to me either). I know when this chapter of my life is over, my body is not going to look like it did before and I have to be okay with that. If I don't get back to how I looked before (say, for example, if I end up needing a C-section and am left with the scars forever), I have no choice but to learn to be okay with that. The same thing will happen when I hit menopause and am fighting a belly pooch or sagging breasts.

Bottom line, from my perspective: attitude is such a massive component of beauty, but I feel like we've lost that as a society because there's no money in trying to sell you an attitude change - but companies can sell you products to change your appearance, and so they will prey on your insecurities in order to part you from your money.

meltilen · 2024-02-29T14:51:30+00:00

I know they write it with good intentions to "get rid of social media" or "work on your self esteem" but I don't think they're very practical advices though...

I got rid of social media and working on my self esteem. Let's dig into it:

Since I was recovering from a toxic relationship with a narcissist, I really worked on myself, like a lot, well it is still going baby steps only? Since years! I am proud of where I am now but I still can't feel beautiful / good about myself from time to time. Working on your self esteem won't make it overnight, it's a painful and long run, I often feel lost even.
A very good friend of mine just got botox and another one is getting boob job in a week so even in my very small circle causing me FOMO and following worthlessness. I can't fill the gap by myself with my fresh-built-self esteem, I still require approval from others sometimes. And since I am in a LTR with someone whose love language is not words of affirmations... pew...

What helps me besides all of them is changing and challenging myself, so that I can meet a new version of myself. It can be a new hair color, new hobby, new recipe, new route... I love it when I see new me. Changing my gym routine or my diet... Doesn't need to be especially anything spectacular. Also traveling solo always helped me in the past a lot. The strangers always see you better, we tend to misprize ourselves.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-28T17:32:49+00:00

Title: How to feel beautiful?

Author TimeYoghurt7332

Full text: How do you feel beautiful as a women, especially in times of social media and plastic surgery going wild? I (F,25) came to the realisation that I never felt/feel beautiful, even though I would consider myself conventionally attractive. I can imagine people saying things like eat well, do sports, put good clothes and make-up on. But I already do these things and even when I "make the best out of me" I still feel not beautiful "enough". I feel like the problem is more rooted in low self esteem. And as I grow older (I don't date at the moment) I get more anxious about not being beautiful/attractive anymore soon.

I heard about the book from Naomi Wolf - the beauty myth but she seems to be a very feminisic author so I don't know if it is worth reading. Are there other books you found to be helpful with this problem? Or any other things that helped you...? I just wanna feel good by myself.

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Fae_Leaf · 2024-02-28T20:47:40+00:00

Social media is extremely toxic (for a dozen or more reasons). It makes women feel inadequate, and it creates false standards in men. In addition to not subjecting yourself to it (delete all of the social media that's exposing you to these things), you should strive to find a man who isn't indulging in porn/insta-models/only fans/etc. who will have an unrealistic idea of beauty.

I also personally find that most of those women are more beautiful in an "art" way. They're pretty to look at, but more than half of that beauty is coming from their make-up, filters, lighting, angles, and digital touch-ups. That woman probably doesn't exist in real life. I prefer to be natural beauty. I don't wear make-up. I just eat really, really well, maintain a healthy lifestyle, and dress femininely. My husband loves me more than any superficial woman he might see on the internet.

Also keep a healthy dose of realization that being the most attractive woman on earth is incredibly unlikely. Someone is always going to be better than you in literally everyway, but you shouldn't let that get you down. I'm probably somewhere between a 4 and a 6. But being depressed about it won't make me a 10. Carrying myself well and taking care of myself will probably keep me closer to the 6 though.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2024-02-28T21:29:15+00:00

By taking care of yourself in a way that makes you proud of your looks and body.

Exercise. Eat healthy, do skin care and hair care, spend time in the sun (but not too much direct sunlight), participate in activities that involve using your body.

bbbunny123 · 2024-02-29T19:34:27+00:00

I think it’s hard because it sometimes seems like we only have two choices 1. go all in to meeting societies standards of beauty, or 2. to let go completely and pay no attention to your appearance. I think that feeling beautiful and attractive can be a wholesome source of joy, it is very natural for women, it isn’t inherently bad. But, sometimes we believe that our appearance is our only value, or our only way to be good enough, our only way to get approval and love, and that mentality makes it so we will never truly feel good enough, no matter what we do to our appearance, because it is our soul and our sense of intrinsic value that is lacking. I think that focusing on being beautiful internally is important. That also means self-love, because we can only love others to the extent that we love ourselves (arguable but w/ deep introspection I’ve found this to be true). Beauty of the heart is apparent to others, it literally makes you physically beautiful to those in your presence. So cultivating that above all else should always be your top priority. Second, following your dreams and working to learn/make/do things that make you feel fulfilled. I am naturally thin, but worked out, got a nose job, a boob job, filler, and I never felt good enough no matter how much outside praise I received. That was because I felt valueless, as I was lost to what my purpose was. Now that I am doing/pursuing work that has meaning to me every day, involved in my community, and putting my heart into being my best self for myself and others, I know that I deserve to exist and that I am beautiful, I don’t need to prove it with my looks. I still workout, like dressing pretty, wear makeup, have a bulky skincare routine, but only to the extent that I enjoy it. & I am not perfect, I still have insecurities and fears about getting older, but I am convinced that, as I age, if I continue applying most of my effort on my goal of being a loving person, to myself and others, my beauty will shine and I will be able to feel it too. Good luck💖

SelfEmployed2024 · 2024-03-03T18:33:55+00:00

Approach beauty from a different place than most nowadays..... In 2024, most of these women are fake. Fake hair, fake lashes, fake faces, fake asses, fake... Fake... Fake.... As mean as it sounds, when I start to feel down about myself compared to others, I imagine how most of these ladies look without all the fakery. I image that their kids probably won't look how people would think... Because the mom doesn't really look like that. I image that the man in their life probably has never seen the real her, and if he has, it probably took some getting used to.

I feel beauty in my being natural. Not my unshaved, untamed natural.... But in the fact that I don't take pics with filters..... Only makeup I wear is mascara and lipstick.... As a black woman, I don't wear weave, I have long natural hair..... Yes I shave, yes I get waxed.... Beauty maintenance is still a thing.... But I take pride that, with my imperfections and all, by my OWN standards, I'm more beautiful than most these other ladies I see (by my own standards), because at least I'm real, I'm not a build a woman.

Start working on your natural skin, get waxes, work on your attire, go to the gym, focus on cooking healthy food..... And you'll have a million plus up on these other fake ladies.... Also consider checking out videos of women with and without makeup on YouTube.... This makeup is sooooooo deceptive..... Must suck to have to keep the lie going 24/7 and not let their face breath.

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teamleroux · 2024-02-29T11:35:05+00:00

I got rid of social media. Even when I am on the socials a little, I unfollow and unfriend anyone who makes me feel unworthy (even if she is a friend or has good intentions). If I see her pics and they make me feel less pretty, I remove it from my life. Often times it is not real people who makes us feel this way, but rather pictures and unrealistic things on the internet.

TimeYoghurt7332 · 2024-02-28T18:12:33+00:00

Thanks for your comment.

Yes I think the feeling comes from inside and maybe we have to accept as women, that we will never be "perfect" and that this is ok. Maybe it is something that we have to work through.

TimeYoghurt7332 · 2024-02-29T19:59:34+00:00

Maybe seeing the positive sides 😂

TimeYoghurt7332 · 2024-02-29T20:02:52+00:00

Yeah it might be a journey... maybe as well a journey of self acceptance and self love. For my part, I don't believe people getting surgerys are very happy.. or at least I don't believe getting surgery is making the problems go away.

TimeYoghurt7332 · 2024-02-29T20:05:36+00:00

Aww such a beautiful text and message, thank you 🥰

7Velocity7 · 2024-03-02T20:56:46+00:00

Eat less and do more exercise.

Title	How to feel beautiful?
Author	TimeYoghurt7332
Upvotes	14
Comments	34
Date	February 28, 2024 5:32 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1b2bwj0/how_to_feel_beautiful/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-feel-beautiful.1246689 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246689

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