Single & 30 Soon..

n00body333 · 2020-09-07T23:20:35+00:00

[deleted]

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2020-09-07T20:54:51+00:00

Getting older doesn’t mean you’re done dating, it just means you can’t be as picky.

Depending on where you live, most of the attractive men with high potential are swiped up by the time you’re 30.

There are a couple of types of men who are options at any time for women of this sub:

The typical high value man: usually comes from a stable family and finishes upper education with good grades. Plays sports and stays in shape, get a good job with a good career trajectory. These guys are always either dating someone or dating multiple someone’s. Their gf’s are always hot. They’re almost never on the market by the time they’re 30-35 years old. They rarely date older women, so you’re probably out of his dating pool.

Attractive, unambitious guy: these guys are valuable throughout school, then their value plummets as they leave the education system and jobs becomes a part of your dating value. They’re usually lazy and won’t put much effort into relationships, but they’ll usually find some sucker to love them cause they’re pretty. These guys are the most available around your age, but are not great partners unless you’re looking for a trophy husband. But even that’s dicy because they’re usually cheaters, and have a poor concept of work ethic so their looks will fade faster than most.

The unattractive, ambitious guy. These guys had very little dating success in school, but were always super smart, so when they graduate they make good money almost immediately. These guys are usually very bitter that women never gave them a chance when they were younger and as a result have a lot of pent up animosity toward women. They will usually go for significantly younger women, or date and marry someone they’ve known forever. They’re relational projects, but are not impossible to save. They take work.

The unattractive, unambitious guy: these guys are usually obese and uneducated. They are barely even worth mentioning and usually end up with fat, uneducated women. They’re never really an option unless you’re obese.

Then you have the late bloomers. These guys weren’t particularly smart or attractive, but after school they made things work. Stumbled into a good career 3-5 years post-grad, picked up exercise habits in their mid 20's, revamped their wardrobe etc. They have a very slow, but steadily rising SMV and gradually become more valuable with time. Invisible at 18, attractive at 30, DILF at 40+. These guys are hitting their stride right around your age, but they’re usually not social or confident since most of their youth was spent being unnoticeable, so you have to pursue them at least initially in most cases. These guys are your best bet.

You need to realize that your typical type 1 chad is a thing of the past. They’re either in LTR’s, married, or looking for younger women than you. You should go for the late bloomers.

2020-09-08T02:27:11+00:00

I recommend the book Marry Him: the Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough a lot, but I think it would be especially helpful for you. Ignore the title. It's misleading and deliberately scandalous. It's more about acknowledging what's actually out there, than settling. I met my husband six months after I read it.

clitorophagy · 2020-09-07T23:35:53+00:00

You’ll always be young to an older man

2020-09-08T02:22:38+00:00

Please explain what you mean by "settle". If your hypergamy is in overdrive you will never fall in love or see what is in front of you.

cast-away-ramadi06 · 2020-09-07T21:42:15+00:00

> Am I too late in the game with my age

Not at all!

> I don’t want to settle and I want to find true love with a successful man but how?

Be careful with this mindset. Let me flip it around for a minute: am I settling because I might be willing to date you even though you <fill in negative things about you>? You're older than 25, your a few lbs heavier than I prefer, your breasts aren't perfectly aligned to my preference, etc? Or am I just being reasonable. And who are you to judge what is a reasonable compromise vs settling for my life?

My point is, at the end of the day, we all settle for something less than perfect. What matters is that you accept that nobody is perfect, that therefore you will have to compromise/settle in some manner, and that you are ok with what you're willing to compromise on. What I've seen from a lot of women (and men) my age and younger (mid 30's and below) is that they don't have reasonable expectations of what people are really like and what the average person can offer vs what they offer to a relationship.

Also, socioeconomic paring is a thing in the US. Not sure where you're from, but your definition of "a successful man" will have to be measured relative to your own socioeconomic status. For example, if you're a teacher, you really shouldn't be turning down a guy who is on track to be a master electrician (and then eventually run his own business) just because of his career.

TheTatteredOne · 2020-09-07T20:48:46+00:00

You're just looking for encouragement, which is perfectly fine, but it's not too late. Even if you need to hear that from someone else

bel_esprit_ · 2020-09-07T21:54:55+00:00

I don’t think men’s looks get better with age tbh. That’s more of a myth that keeps getting perpetuated. Their looks aren’t as important as women’s, sure— but they don’t get ‘better’ with age.

Source: Every cute guy from my HS/college days look like toads now, and the not-so-cute ones also look like toads.

pineygrrl · 2020-09-07T21:27:22+00:00

Women’s beauty fades but men seem to get better??? That’s NOT what I’m experiencing...I’m 50-ish, lol, got into shape lost a ton of weight, went to culinary school, met a sexy fellow cook where I interned 8 years younger than me, unfortunately him n all the other male cooks in the kitchen in their 50s having Testosterone issues n can’t get it up... so now am with a 35m fellow cook who still holding his own. I look good, feel good, n my partner is 21 years younger. Having so much fun with him.

Svenskamamma · 2020-09-07T21:49:47+00:00

It’s pretty normal for people to meet their future partner and get married after 30 these days, you’ll find plenty of men who aren’t from the divorced crowd. Women in their 30s are still beautiful! By then you’ve hopefully found a style that suits you and know how to take care of yourself, but if you tell yourself you’re past it you will become a self fulfilling prophecy so get out there and own it lady!

Just do the stuff that’s wise at any age, eat healthily, drink lots of water, exercise and take care of your appearance.

I actually met my husband at 30, we met at an overseas fitness resort as we’re both athletic so started off with shared interests so cultivate your hobbies! He’s 6 years older and had been focusing on getting his career established and had been growing tired of living an expat life so was at the right time to find a wife.

aussiedollface2 · 2020-09-09T02:23:11+00:00

You need to date with purpose. When my age began to creep into my late twenties I made a conscious decision to only date with the intention of settling down. You don’t need to stress but you also don’t have a lot of time to waste. Take some time and look back at your past and what you’ve learnt from previous relationships, about yourself, and what you want moving forward xo

cohost3 · 2020-09-07T23:16:06+00:00

There is a lot of helpful, realistic advice on this sub.

Or there is good vibes and reassurance on r/datingoverthirty.

Nothing wrong with a good mix of both.

lavachequirie · 2020-09-07T22:20:04+00:00

[removed]

weuripgc · 2020-09-11T22:42:17+00:00

I am 25 and I feel like my clock is ticking FAST. Not sure I would know how to cope single and 30. I think just accepting you may not be able to start a family would be a start. Either that or get ready to settle for less.

Title	Single & 30 Soon..
Author	hopeful_lover
Upvotes	58
Comments	45
Date	September 7, 2020 8:20 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/iof8vo/single_30_soon/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/single-30-soon.212244 https://theredarchive.com/post/212244

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