Struggling with keeping up?

Zegiknie · 2018-11-25T18:46:40+00:00

Oh I'm the same as you. I put on make-up on the weekend, when husband sees me by daylight. Otherwise can't be bothered. I like dressing up, but I want someone to notice! Otherwise it seems a waste of energy. I'm efficient that way ;-)

Things that help for me:

Shower twice daily. Feels nice and warm and motivates me to change outfits and take off make-up and shave. I also do it when just changing into clean pyjamas when I'm sick.

Hot baths are my self-care treat, so I always pair them with private hair removal, which I hate.

Find moisturizers that feel nice and gently massage them in, rather than slap it on as a duty thing.

Put oil in bathwater so I can skip the moisturizing, after. Combine bath with hair and face masks. And a good book :-)

Go outside for walks/hikes a lot.

Keeping company with with other well-dressed people (makes you want to keep up).

Have low but SUPER STRICT cleaning/tidying standards and gradually build up, in stead of doing everything perfect and then nothing.

Track habits and make monthly goals and weekly plans (bullet journal). Make them realistic, like moisturize at least once every week, rather than BE PERFECT ALL THE TIME!

If there is anyone you would do it for, assume you will accidentally run into him today. Every day you might...

This gets easier with age. Like a pendulum going between extremes, you will find a balance that works in the middle.

Maleficentwat · 2018-11-25T20:47:10+00:00

Ive been in the exact same boat. First off, if you have a day to yourself, don't wanna do much, by all means forget beauty routines and simply enjoy your "day without mirrors" as I'd like to call it. Besides those days, I'm always sure to take care of myself because it makes me feel like I'm up and ready to accomplish more that day, even if it's just cleaning. If it feels like a chore, I'd divide up your routine into smaller pieces. Shower the night before, blow dry 80%, and put hair in a sock bun so your hair is dry and curled the next day. There's alot of tips I have for helping shorten routines but it depends on what you already do and your least favorite/most tedious parts. Even on days you don't leave your house, I'd be sure to wake up at the same time each day, make yourself take a quick shower and make your bed. When I'm really slacking in regards to my motivation for cleaning, I watch these YouTube videos of clean freaks trading places with hoarders. Or home tours of people who have really nice organized places. Gives me ideas on how to keep things tidy too. Also, getting a small new home good, anything from a tapestry to new candles, inspires me to tidy up so I can "enjoy" it more. One last tip: audiobooks/podcasts + wireless earbuds while cleaning. Time passes very quickly and you get to learn as well.

EmotionalSupportRat · 2018-11-26T01:00:57+00:00

Musts for me: shower and deodorant once a day, face cleanse once a day PM (in the morning, only spraying some toner and applying SPF is enough for me), extensive toothcare once a day PM and quick brush once a day AM, shaving armpits/vagene/legs 1x a week (don't care if it's stubbly in between), washing and conditioning hair 1x a week as a minimum for my dry curly hair, tweezing stray chin hairs every other day as to not look raggedy.....tinted lip balm and tinted eyebrow gel daily.... and that's it, at least in my eyes, to feel hygienic and put together. That should always work. If not, something is wrong in my life. At some point, I just decided there is no question in not doing these things no matter what. No matter how tired I am in the night. I for instance don't think makeup or bodylotion is necessary for everyone (daily), as well as doing extensive hair masking sessions (and I have dry/curly hair), so the easier you make it for yourself and the least products you use or fancy concepts you think a women should do, the easier it will be to comply with your basic routine. "I don't go outside every single day apart from when I have university classes, which makes it super easy for me to neglect myself for a good length of time, this can escalate into me not showering for days and letting my room get super messy" --> Contrary to how you assess yourself, you sound depressed.

merel-- · 2018-11-25T18:38:11+00:00

I totally understand! I actually have struggled with some long term health problems for a while... If I have a bad week or few weeks and can barely get out of the house I don't feel like showering or taking care of my hair/nails... I do try to look my best when I meet up with friends or dates and I get some pleasure from taking care of my nails but sometimes I just don't have the energy.

Maybe get a routine for when you are in your lazy girl phase and a routine when your in your high maintenance phase? Skincare doesn't have to take hours every night, but sometimes it's fun. Just like teeth maintenance this is the beginning of a habit, it's best to start with baby steps.

shayzelala · 2018-11-25T18:37:26+00:00

I only struggle with a beauty routine after I’ve had babies but I do have some advice that can be helpful! I’m super low maintenance!

I brush my teeth after every meal and/or before I leave the house. Some might say this is overkill... but I’ve never had a cavity or any teeth issues and I’m in my mid 30’s. I also will do a swish of mouthwash to freshen up before I leave the house if I’ve recently brushed and haven’t eaten again. Or before my DH comes home.

I shower EVERY morning. I wear a shower cap if I’m in a rush and don’t have time to wash my hair. I also use a good dry shampoo on those days. I pay good money for lowlights so I can skip a day or two of washing and I have an excellent haircut. This makes taking easier. My hair is cut to be worn down so I don’t throw it in a ponytail every day.

Grooming is EVERYTHING. Get those eyebrows done at a reputable salon... not a nail salon. If your eyebrows are nice, everything else follows. I don’t wear eyeliner at home but I do on outings. I DO use a good facial moisturizer after my shower every day. I use a Burt’s bees cleaning wipe in the evenings. My skin is fantastic and I’ve never worn foundation. I only use natural face wash and hair care products.

I always wear earrings and my wedding and engagement rings. My DH likes that. Other than that, no jewelry unless we are going out.

Only eyeliner, mascara, and gloss for church or events.

If you can do something for at least a few weeks, it becomes a habit so pick one thing at a time to implement and get good at! I remember your post about oral hygiene and I CANNOT stress how important it is. I’ve ended things with men over that issue and it’s an absolute deal breaker- no matter how good looking and successful a guy is.

Kaboomboomboomboom · 2018-11-25T18:48:34+00:00

Honestly, I don’t treat hygiene and beauty as a „can“, I treat it as a must. Just like you would go to work even if you don’t want to or have a little headache, you should be having a ritual in the morning (short) and in the evening (long, because presumably you have more time here). I admit that for me it is a necessity because of certain conditions that require me to care a lot for my skin. However, if you’re absolutely healthy, you can still look up the benefits of proper skincare.

And frankly, don’t pressure yourself to get to your goal of a routine twice daily in a timeframe of a few weeks. Habits get built over years. I haven’t been so diligent at 18 either. Now I have found what products I need and what I need to use daily, and the feeling that I’m doing a beneficial thing for myself makes me get up from that cozy place and do that routine.

For more specific suggestions, check out the relevant subs here on Reddit.

AnnaAerials · 2018-11-25T21:19:49+00:00

I really really resonate with what you’ve written. It’s not natural to me at all and I lean heavily towards the demotivated girl in a messy bun and track pants. Some women wrote tips in this thread maybe you’d appreciate their advice too.

The best advice and someone else wrote it in this thread too is when you have more time at night, shave and scrub and do the things that take time. I’d also say if you have a higher standard for yourself, you’ll want to stay away from the inner slob. I threw away all my pjs and track pants that had holes or stains or were ridiculously oversized. I bought new ones that were cute. I keep my face moisturised. I wear sunscreen. I make sure I’m wearing perfume when I’m out even if I haven’t put on makeup. I always make sure I’m clean. Short shower in the morning and a long one at night. Being clean helps your motivation heaps and you will enjoy your showers :) start today because there is never a “good time” to start putting things into practise. The time is always “now”.

ragnarockette · 2018-11-26T22:41:49+00:00

My #1 tip is clean your bathroom.

When your bathroom is clean and feels luxurious you’ll want to pamper yourself.

Get some nice candles, a soft rug. Buy nice cotton balls and pads and put them in pretty hard. Clean your makeup brushes. Trust me - you will be way more motivated when your bathroom feels like a spa.

MakeAmericaRichAgain · 2018-11-26T18:39:11+00:00

Preventative care requires a routine, and a routine requires discipline. The trick to being disciplined is reacting when you know you SHOULD do something. You know the exact feeling I'm talking about. It's 2pm and you really SHOULD shower... get up right then and do it immediately. If you take longer than 5 seconds to react, you will talk yourself out of doing it. Brian Tracy has a couple of great books on this subject: "No Excuses" and "Eat That Frog!". I'd suggest reading those and internalizing them.

Also, enjoy showering. It's one of the best ways you can start your day. I haven't gone a day without a shower in 16 years. A daily morning workout followed by a full breakfast and a hot shower will add literal years to your life.

Theendisnearornot · 2018-11-25T19:32:57+00:00

Take one step at a time. I started with a face & skin routine in the shower (face wash, scrubs & sometimes a mask and a body scrub). I did that for a while until it became routine. Now I do my makeup daily - sometimes just a foundation & concealer. If you try to do everything all at once it can get overwhelming:)

drunk_fish1 · 2018-11-26T11:03:26+00:00

I started by having relaxing soaks in the bathroom while reading rather than showering. Somehow it just seems easier to sit in the bath than stand in the shower when you're not feeling up to much. Also, I exercise every day as that really helps to make you feel better. I started with just a few sit ups at first and now a year later, I have a full hour a day routine.

I read a thing on reddit a few years ago about having no 'zero data's, you should do at least one thing, no matter how small, that future you will thank you for. I live by the no zero days rule now, it changed my life x

Title	Struggling with keeping up?
Author	strawberrypie1
Upvotes	55
Comments	25
Date	November 25, 2018 6:13 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/a0as4z/struggling_with_keeping_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/struggling-with-keeping-up.67883 https://theredarchive.com/post/67883

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