Why do Husbands cheat?

MYDOLNA · 2018-11-11T15:53:42+00:00

There can be many resons, and only the two people in the relationship really know what's going on between them , despite what they report to you. Wives cheat too... sometimes its as simple as wanting something different ..the best person to answer this would be the person cheating ..but sometimes they wont even be able to give a clear honest answer themselves.

Kaboomboomboomboom · 2018-11-11T15:49:52+00:00

I would be appalled too. Cheating is morally wrong and should not be condoned, not in best friends, nor in family.

skeleflor · 2018-11-11T16:40:44+00:00

I remember reading a study rather recently that found that MOST people, both men and women, were willing to cheat if opportunity presented itself and they felt they could get away with it, regardless of reported satisfaction in their relationships.

If that's the case, then I'd say to minimize the risk of cheating one's best course of action would be discretion and deterrence.

Reduce opportunity. Both parties practice vigilant discretion in their dealings with the opposite sex. Enforce hard marital boundaries with coworkers, friends, and exes. Go full Pence if one must in order to protect the physical and emotional space of the marriage against trespass.
Establish and enforce hard penalties for marital impropriety so that both parties understand the gravity of cheating and the consequences that can be expected in the event of it.

Men on average have higher sex drives than women and a greater need for variety, and for many men (not all) sex is purely a physical function, a recreational release which they can separate from the emotional intimacy they share with their significant other. In other words, sex may be less of a 'big deal' emotionally to some men, making cheating less of a weight on their conscience.

Quiet_Harbinger · 2018-11-11T15:46:16+00:00

What is DH?

loneliness-inc · 2018-11-11T15:59:08+00:00

Husbands and wives cheat for different reasons (although some reasons may have overlap).

Lack of sex is certainly one reason for husbands to cheat but it isn't the only reason. If a wife is a nagging, criticizing, dramatic, self absorbed bitch who puts him and his needs as last priority, after everything else and the headache - things like this will give him reason to cheat.

Then there's the male sex drive which needs to have sex with many women to spread his seed far and wide. This reason has nothing to do with you, the wife. However, you can give him reasons to not put in the effort to resist temptation when it comes knocking.

Your preparations in the event of the worst case scenario are an extreme lack of trust in your husband and they're the very drama that can give him incentive to seek the comforting arms of another woman (as explained above). Marriage is built on trust and trust comes with risks. If you aren't ready to take the risk, you aren't trusting. All the rationalization in the world won't transform non trust into trust.

Zegiknie · 2018-11-11T18:04:09+00:00

I think your husband was wise to stay out of other people's relationships. Perhaps they have an open one, and think it none of your business? Your husband confided in you, and consequently you lose trust in him. Sounds unreasonable to me.

!!!!!Edit: misread! I thought she was your best friend. Are you actually going to ruin your husbands friendship over this? And possibly your marriage?! I can't believe it. At least discuss this with your husband befote you go blabbing, please! Is your loyalty to her stronger than your loyalty to him? You really think this is the right thing to do???!!!!!!

I think cheaters cheat because they want to, and for them, the good outweighs the bad. It doesn't necessarily reflect on their love for their partners, just on their character/morals.

Overcome it? Yes, for me. If it's just sex, all I care about is him being discreet and safe. If it's personal, I would throw a fit and find a way to get that woman out of his life, but then forgive him. The only reason I don't want a sister-wife is because I sincerely doubt that I would be able to tolerate another woman on a personal level. I used to have roommates, and even that... ugh! I do have female friends, but you know, they leave after visiting. And they don't move things around in my kitchen, or load the dishwasher the wrong way (there so totally is a wrong way to do it), or discipline my kids.

Hints? No. I know people where the man cheated with his sidewoman for years and years and years and nobody suspected a thing. Only a dumb man would leave clues.

I don't think sex is like cancer. I think you're panicking a little bit. Sex means different things to different people. Do you think your husband is setting out to hurt you?

I'm not saying go and have an open relationship. Most people as I see it can not handle it - they fail to respect the agreed upon boundaries and are too easily overcome by infatuation. I'm just saying - relax. You're okay!

organicsunshine · 2018-11-11T21:04:10+00:00

I find it pretentious that you feel divorce is her only option. Sounds like you are the cancer. Help her through it when she finds out but keep your opinion and self out of it.

HildaEast · 2018-11-16T04:20:04+00:00

I'd say the main enabler of cheating is lack of integrity, and a lack of self awareness and empathy, meaning someone who will just go with what they feel.

The reason in the moment is mostly opportunity, potentially but not necessarily boosted by a stressful time in the relationship.

Cheating simply isn't the solution. A good person will try and work things out, and leave if things don't work out.

Title	Why do Husbands cheat?
Author	FearlessStranger
Upvotes	12
Comments	60
Date	November 11, 2018 3:22 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/9w4k9z/why_do_husbands_cheat/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/why-do-husbands-cheat.67816 https://theredarchive.com/post/67816

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