Would you settle for a lesser men?

shneakypete · 2017-09-09T02:40:11+00:00

"it takes a hell of a man to be better than no man at all"

ginlady · 2017-09-09T01:32:28+00:00

I wouldn't settle, I'd rather be single. My parents divorced when I was in grade school and my mom has gone through seven men, two of those marriages, so far. She's always settling for men who she doesn't really click with and they last a year or two each before they split. If I end up on the dating market when I am over 40, I wouldn't settle for any man less than my standards because I know it wouldn't last and would expend energy I could be using elsewhere in my life.

My standards are: Mutual respect A healthy mix of "beta" and "alpha" qualities - someone who can take charge but also be sensitive when I need them or when they need me for support No bad habits - excessive smoking, drinking, gambling, etc. Mutual chemistry - I don't believe a relationship can last without a healthy sex life

As an end note, I think it's important to consider the quality of men that women have to choose from when they're dating later in life. These men might be ones who never married due to incompatibilities like not wanting children, or having an addiction. Perhaps they have had personal growth, but old habits are hard to break. Many of them have been wronged by ex wives or girlfriends and would be harder to earn love from and show that you can be their soft spot to land. Basically, and I know this is prejudiced, but I think men who are available to date later in life generally have a big personality or lifestyle flaw that younger women wouldn't accept, but older women are forced to because they want a relationship and the better men are still married.

Atomicbebe · 2017-09-09T00:18:02+00:00

I have certain values and would probably not be attracted to someone who didn't share them, so I couldn't settle for less in that regard. I got married at 29. I would prefer to be single than in a mismatch.

HB3234 · 2017-09-09T03:00:53+00:00

I wouldn't settle. Being single did not diminished my happiness, so a man has to multiply my joy to be in my life. Luckily, I met a man who met all my expectations and then some.

Cardiscappa · 2017-09-09T02:06:13+00:00

I would rather be single and that's why I had been single for quite a while. I could have easily settled, by why quietly cry yourself to sleep each night when there's another option?

Waldorfmutti · 2017-09-09T10:03:02+00:00

One thing I will not budge on is faithfulness. If my SO decided he wanted fresh flesh when he gets older it will be divorce ASAP! No second chances nothing. I will always be worth more then this. Always!

Other then that no, I will not settle.

BubbleGas · 2017-09-14T23:50:51+00:00

Wow. The responses in this thread are very intriguing.

Women won't settle, also known as hypergamy.

Men won't settle, because of the state of marriage. They either choose pump&dump or MGTOW.

Society is fucking doomed. What a time to be alive. Hope everyone enjoys the decline.

mwait · 2017-09-09T13:28:02+00:00

You need to differentiate between SMV and RMV.

Most women will settle with respect to a man's SMV as they age, if they have not found their ideal mate while they are younger. This is simply the way the sexual marketplace works... If women did not settle in this capacity, there would be scores of older single women all across the world.

Most women do have hard boundaries about certain things that fall under the RMV umbrella, though, that they will not settle on... namely things like job/career/income, faithfulness/fidelity, kind/non-abusive, etc.

mrpthrowa · 2017-09-11T11:38:06+00:00

Paradoxically I think some girls on this sub are more unrealistic than BP girls, because they know the alpha/beta dynamic so they want the perfect both. There are many threads on this sub about "what do you want in a man" and all the top posts list perfect 10/10 prince charming devoted to thyself unicorn men. Makes me wonder what the girls offer.

cerahhh · 2017-09-09T11:43:18+00:00

I've been single for two years and I could've settled at many points but I've seen friends be in relationships simply for the sake of being in one and it's a sorry sight to see.

ThisGirlHasQuestions · 2017-09-11T00:51:49+00:00

I'd say my standards are in the way he treats me, mutual trust and respect, sharing important life goals and values, and genuinely feeling happy and comfortable together. I couldn't settle on any of those points. I'd absolutely rather be single.

However, my criteria? Those could change or be "settled" on. I currently have very few, just what I think is most important. But if I met a great man who didn't meet one, that might cause me reevaluate and, I suppose, "settle" for him. But really, that would be a matter of realizing after knowing him, that the criteria just wasn't as important to me as I'd thought it was, because I want to be with him anyway. So, is that even still settling?

I guess the short answer is no, I wouldn't settle. But what's most important to me could change, and cause me to chose a man that "past me" would've considered settling.

fetchyminx · 2017-09-09T10:31:42+00:00

Never.

Pink_182 · 2017-09-11T05:38:41+00:00

I think that if I am 25, 26 and not close to married or married I will be re-evaluating my standards (maybe I'm asking more than my market value if you know what I mean). But for now, no I won't date beneath my standards.

Willow-girl · 2017-09-12T13:06:52+00:00

Please don't settle! Life is hard, and almost every couple ends up going through some really tough shit together (i.e., raising kids, parents getting older and their health failing, your own eventual health problems, etc.). I firmly believe the initial passion and intense love that you have for one another (and the memory of that love) is the 'glue' that holds marriages/LTRs together through the tough times. Lacking that, wellll ...

Don't settle!

PinkFloweryBranches · 2017-09-09T04:29:03+00:00

My standards for a husband are mapped out by the qualifications of an elder (high position in church, basically deals with church discipline) in Titus 1 because I'm a Christian:

*Must not be arrogant, quick-tempered, a drunkard, violent, or greedy for gain
*Must be hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined
*Must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught (aka must be a strong Christian who doesn't twist scripture)
*Must be able to give instruction in sound doctrine (aka must teach scripture as-is, not twisting it)
*Must also rebuke those who contradict it (aka be able to correct people, including your wife, when wrong)

Would I settle for a man that doesn't meet those standards? No.

Title	Would you settle for a lesser men?
Author	fatfinger357
Upvotes	12
Comments	37
Date	September 9, 2017 12:07 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/6yymhd/would_you_settle_for_a_lesser_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/would-you-settle-for-a-lesser-men.73392 https://theredarchive.com/post/73392

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