As I’ve started getting older - I don’t think I even want to be in a relationship.

rpool179 · 2026-07-12T06:33:37+00:00

Yea I'm going through this myself and I'm 36 (be 37 next month). I just can't take the risk of losing half of everything I own and risking it all. It's fucking with me. Our dad's could rebuild because the economy was much better and homes were like $100k. Rebuilding in 2030 after a divorce. With what? An $800k starter home? I keep going back and forth between wanting to be married or not. I do want kids though. But can't have kids without a wife. And I wouldn't deprive them of a mom and want them to be biologically mine so adoption isn't an option. Step-dad I'd rather just kill myself but yea.

Godbaz · 2026-07-12T04:20:15+00:00

I am in the same place bro
I don’t mind just talking or vibing but when it comes to relationships it don’t see worth the stress

EvalCrux · 2026-07-12T06:13:31+00:00

I can’t be bothered. It’s incredible.

mauz21 · 2026-07-12T06:24:53+00:00

but I feel happiest when I have options/freedom. Most of my time is only spent doing 5 things: working, gym, sleeping, eating (and fucking, when the opportunity arises).

You're not alone bro, I'm on the same page as you even I'm still 25. I don't really enjoy committing in relationship either, tried to get into dating apps, dated some of the hb5-ish women, and I wondered if I have sex with them it wouldn't be fulfilling either since I'm not attracted to them in the first place, just to get my feet wet (learning about them) by playing bunch of women. As time goes on, I don't find the meaning behind gaming the women either like many of the posts from this sub discussed, it feels corny. Women that I find attractive, hb7-8 ish, they really hard to get and they intentionally playing hard to get since they know many men attracted to them. Easily attracted hb5 but don't want them either.

Interestingly, I found that hb5 women and hb7-8 ish have the same ego, the difference is the hb5 women easier to be approached at first and the more attractive hb7-8 is harder to approach at first, but once you pass the initial phase, they're essentially the same, they will manipulate the shit out of you to the way they want, and don't easily comply them like this sub already taught us. From that, I have a same realization, its best to just focus on us, and game women if the opportunity arises like you mentioned make sure you're on the dominant side who have more power than her so you won't be easily manipulated, and don't solely focus on women, just focus on what makes you happy. Marriage is a life sentence either, a lot of my relatives got trapped into marriage living a miserable life that they didn't expect and didn't want.

MaxwellHoot · 2026-07-12T04:00:25+00:00

Maybe branch out on your hobbies. When you get older, you’ll crave meaning that your current lifestyle seems to lack.

As for the stress of relationships, I agree it’s tedious sometimes. However, there are obvious upsides to it. Don’t settle or compromise for a relationship where it’s JUST pandering to the girl, but recognize you gotta put in some work other than lifting weights.

Tousen71 · 2026-07-12T07:12:39+00:00

I enjoy the companionship of relationships but it just has to be additive. The girls got to be hot, loyal, chill, and independent, and then that’s all the social energy you need to expend right there. But alas, that’s difficult to find without serendipity or developing them into that through time investment.

DontWorryBeHappyMan · 2026-07-12T09:22:10+00:00

If you like the idea of having kids some day then a relationship with a well vetted woman is a must.

But if thats not on your radar, then I could easily see staying single being the better option.

Cearball · 2026-07-12T12:06:48+00:00

Isn't this MGTOW to a certain degree though.

Either way if you know what you want power to you.

foursquad1 · 2026-07-12T13:02:05+00:00

At 28, I am the same. Feels like such a waste of time. I pity most of my friends who are in a marriage.

hurtshtummy · 2026-07-12T13:15:36+00:00

Used to be my mindset as well. The thing is there are billions of woman out there and believe it or not some of them are cool as fuck. When you find the right one they enhance your life, not drain and take from it. Main problem is they are hard to find cause those are the ones who also just go to work, the gym, and home. If you choose to give up on a relationship fair enough, finding the right one does require a bit of luck and effort.

suraj_69 · 2026-07-12T03:48:47+00:00

27 m, same

Vermillion-Rx · 2026-07-12T05:50:34+00:00

Is this a rant/vent? If so it should have been flaired as such (I already did so for you)

If you could add more vent to avoid this coming across as a personal advice question but it's fine as is

saynotoautism · 2026-07-12T11:14:08+00:00

I know things have changed in the past, but I wonder how men back in the day felt about dating/women. I guess back then things were a lot more straightforward and there was no real "dating"... it was just called marriage.

Maybe being spoiled for choice has something to do with this since we're always on the lookout for the next one or a better one and this just ends up turning into a never-ending cycle.

IMO more often than not, dating isn't even as enjoyable or practical as other things like lifting weights. With lifting it's simple, input = output. You lift weights and you get muscle, but with dating you can do all the right things, attract women, but that still doesn't automatically equal a good relationship or something meaningful which discourages me because at some point you want more than just hooking up.

Anyway, I'm rambling on, this is just food for thought.

Curious if anyone feels this way.

Business-Cheesecake2 · 2026-07-15T19:08:35+00:00

Cause they see you as a money supply so she has to attempt to play games and test you for control.

This is why i saw its better to be a sexually attractive broke man.

Or anything to do with money multiple women so u don't get attached.

EssentialUtensil · 2026-07-16T13:54:47+00:00

Men and women are both being fed lies about the opposite gender, which is propagating our "hatred" for each other, so yes you are being indoctrinated by social media to some extent. But whatever you choose to do with your life is up to you and there's always gonna be a sacrifice involved. "I don't want to be in a relationship," then know you're reducing your chances of having a family. "I want to try being in a relationship," then be okay with women being annoying sometimes. Something I noticed about guys that want options/freedom in relationships are usually way too nice to women. They create this image of themselves that they can't live up to all the time and it creates resentment from the girl. And then the guy feels resentment towards the girl because she doesn't seem to like or appreciate him anymore. And the women is like why aren't you doing this and this like you used to. Were you lying this whole time? Are you just playing me? Then the guy gets sick of it and feels like he's being controlled by her because she's acting crazy and emotionally manipulative. The whole situation is stressful on both of them. The guy walks out of the relationship thinking "damn, I don't want to deal with that ever again, I'd rather just be alone, women are totally nuts." The girl walks out of that relationship thinking, "guys are so shitty, i can't believe he used me like that, he's such a liar." Then they are both bitter for a while and it will probably affect their future relationships in the same way unless they fix the way they feel about the other gender. If your biggest concern for your future relationships is not having enough freedom, that's a pretty easy boundary to establish. Go slower, don't give too much of yourself right away. It's hard to do because it's normal for guys to want to talk to girls all the time when they like them, and then girls get used to it and start to expect it. The sad thing about it all, that people are rejecting for some reason, is all of this is normal. Women aren't any more crazier than before and men aren't emotionless psychopaths. There's just a lot of resentment and a lot of pathologizing of normal human behavior going on everywhere you look. Relationships are always gonna be work. There's no such thing as perfect and if there was it would probably be hella boring.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2026-07-12T19:38:00+00:00

Any other guys 30+ feel this way?

Welcome to the party, pal.

I enjoy my peace. I want to keep it that way

Exactly. Girls rotate in and other girls leave. Someone gets "difficult"? Bye, bye. The state stays far, far away, and what's mine stays mine.

Move a girl in or even worse put a ring on her finger, and you have cockblocked yourself. No more variety. One woman - ONE - decides if you're going to fuck or not.

That smth you do when you are negotiating from a position of weakness. If you can pull girls you can keep right on going.

And for the "BuT wHaT aBoUt WhEn yOu'Re oLdEr?" crowd, first, what about now? And second, I'm pulling girls from 22-28 and I am deep into my 50s. No need to wife some tatted up, cankled bar slut before the "good" ones are taken. For the Unbelievers, check out "Older Men, Younger Women V: Why She's Into You." One of my girls turned up on her own to testify. I got her at 24 and she's 25 now.

Tasty-Window · 2026-07-12T18:23:56+00:00

Semper Fi, I had a really hot ride or die chick and it still wasn’t worth it.

SDW137 · 2026-07-12T18:30:31+00:00

Do you have any desire at all, to have kids and start a family? If you don't...then yeah, might just be better for you to stay single.

You kind of remind me of my friend, but he wants to have kids soon. Which is the sole reason why he wants to get a girlfriend and get married.

Rocketstar_hero · 2026-07-15T14:38:15+00:00

Hard to argue against it tbh

Would be different with a different generation of women i think

BeardedBill86 · 2026-07-15T16:19:41+00:00

40 year old here, same headspace. My last LTR was 4 years ago and I gave it my all, the tanks empty and I much prefer my own space, the occasional fuck, working out, reading and enjoying my hobbies, bed when I want, eat when I want, chores to my timeframe etc

Companionship doesn't seem worth the cost, especially when in my experience all the things that grabbed you (excitement, kindness, sex) seem to all evaporate after a period of time and you're left with an annoying roommate.

ProFriendZoner · 2026-07-15T17:15:34+00:00

I’ve never been a relationship person. Women are more interested in playing games than building a life, so yea, I’m right there with you.

ioffcflyer · 2026-07-17T09:04:23+00:00

It's almost as if I wrote this word for word minus being a former marine and 6'2

TallDarkAndHandsom3 · 2026-07-12T08:44:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

extrastone · 2026-07-12T18:48:34+00:00

Should a wife be a co-parent with benefits?

yomo85 · 2026-07-13T06:06:04+00:00

Same. I now hypothesize that most men were to get married when young to avoid having them realizing being their own master.

In the past and in the present a man can and usually is way more successful in that fight for himself. Even the dreaded 'retirement care' can be purchased instead of begging your wife and kids down the road.

Do I enjoy female company. A roaring yes. Am I willing to pay the relatiinship fee? Almost never. When I was 15 years younger an insane sex drive and female approval was a driving factor. Now not so much - as in a 8h sleep cycle is mire important to me than caring about logistics to get my dick wet.

Hot_cup_of_JoJo · 2026-07-13T12:40:03+00:00

When do you make time for friends and family? Working and gym are important but… what’s it all for if you don’t have friends/family/loved ones to share the experience with?

theodorelogan0735 · 2026-07-13T15:56:03+00:00

" The only exception I might make is if she’s extraordinarily committed to making my life easier."

This is the key. A woman CAN make your life easier. But modern programming for woman means that most women won't see that as their role and won't see that as how to keep a man. So it's tough to find one like that. However it's possible...they are out there.

I'll also add that a woman who is close (doesn't already have strong feminist programming) can be taught by a man she she is drawn to.

Hqjjciy6sJr · 2026-07-13T20:46:17+00:00

I think it is a completely natural reaction to the way dating market has become. for a man, the legal risk of getting married is simply not worth the reward.

MrSaveYourLife · 2026-07-14T16:29:05+00:00

You could just move to a poor country where the women offer more of what you seem to value. But yeah, in America most relationships feel like a subscription service or part-time job.

Edit: Just now saw that you're in Romania

MrVJPman · 2026-07-14T18:37:21+00:00

Pretty much. As I've gotten older, and easier to see them as who/what they really are versus what I want to be, most of them don't seem that interesting to me anymore. Just as they only care about the top 1-10%, I only bother to interact with the rare good 1-10%.

zboo1h · 2026-07-14T18:55:26+00:00

Understandable. Do you have kids? Do you want them? That's the only reason I can convince myself, who just turned 4 decades old, to continue to pursue women for anything other than sloppy.

The older I get the younger it seems the women that are interested in me get, so that's nice, but you're spot on about how most of them are liabilities. I thought I had a good one recently, even let her move in with me, but she showed her true colors a few months later. They're highly changeable. I remember before she left she told me, unironically, "This is why women choose the bear" and my blood turned into ice. Who the fuck even ARE you, lady? Get the fuck out of my house, you fucking r*dditor piece of shit. etc.

awakening_7600 · 2026-07-14T19:58:17+00:00

When most women stop fucking their men when they are in relationships any way, at what point does a self respecting man decide to be single permanently?

Get a vasectomy so they can't baby trap you, have fun, and when they try to force the issue or a relationship, you just tell them you'll see them later.

BlocknGhost · 2026-07-15T12:59:20+00:00

You’re getting older and realizing that you have things to lose, including the opportunity cost of making your own life better in pursuit of dating in your prime years. I think it just makes your standards / vetting process more strict.

My advice would be to find new ways to get out of the house and socialize in groups where people have the same interests as you.

mauz21 · 2026-07-12T07:01:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	As I’ve started getting older - I don’t think I even want to be in a relationship.
Author	TallDarkAndHandsom3
Upvotes	152
Comments	69
Date	July 12, 2026 3:43 AM UTC (3 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1uu4dmh/as_ive_started_getting_older_i_dont_think_i_even/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/as-ive-started-getting-older-i-dont-think-i-even.1585841 https://theredarchive.com/post/1585841

Comments