Tldr: she broke up with me (30m/30f after 3 years). Have not been here for a while, please set me back on track. I am destroyed, it’s my fault, need guidance.

Met her on tinder, was hesitant to ltr her. Some red flags like split familly, single moms - her best friend, her best friends sisters, their mother (she was my ex teacher in school). Mother is 70yra old, still works as nurse, antiwax. Her father has another family for 10yrs or so. Her 35yr brother just plays gta5 online, low income jobs. Her 40yr lld brother recently had divorce, had a child which has like 140iq but is a mess. So as her older brother because of divorse.

So she lived with her roommate for years when she came to capital. But now she moves back to her hometown 100km away.

By telling this it all looks like mess i can not cope with in my stupid head.

I do national guard. Began small business to create military gear. Still live with parents to cut cost of living and workshop rent. Save money and buy property or wait for war in eu if some shitheads decide to expand their shit ideology.

I do 5x5, read a bit and pretty much all my spare time was to invest in a girl. Because it was my time. And in our relationship I still spinned some plates. Plate spinning is boring. I turned down sex this week twice. I want meaning relationship with a supportive woman. Which ex was. Until she didnt gave an f about me. I shared my emotions, will to work on relationship no matter what. Even if she goes back home to help her familly. I would be there for her one way or another.

But her last 3 trips fucked me overs. 5 weeks ago after meeting her single mom best friend ex decided to brakeup. I did a week of no contact and tried to fix. It seemed ok. 2 weeks ago after comming back she decided to go move back to home town for good in 3 months. After yesterday, she went to a concert with single mom bestie. While she took train back to capital from hometown we had a call about todays plans. I wanted to meet yesterday, but she said that we had a deal we gonna meet next morning and refused. So. Today we had to have a breakfast in the city and drive somewhere afterwards.

But she sit inside the car and told me its over. We are different, she feels pain when we are together. And she is ok apart. She didnt find someone else. But no will to continue with me. Surprise. I want to perrish, I am ashamed, lost. I am bored with plates, I wanted to marry this beutifil person. More I pulled, more she pushed. Help. Did I lost frame? How do I fix myself short and long term.

Thanks.

Edit: not to be an emotional tampon. Gotta thank you for opening my eyes on core principles such as, be the prize, focus on yourself first, woman is an addition to your life, lift, eat, sleep, read. Do not chase the pussy. I might have core belief issues, attachment issues and so on that I should meet help, which sounds expensive at this time. Don’t take trp for granted and neither people around you. Some relationship is hard and worth working for. But do not reach for people that turn their back on you while you are giving your best. I do feel better for your support and hate, now gotta setup habits and thinking patterns. Thanks for the crash course.