Do average men in big cities have a harder time getting dates online?

bustergreenwood · 2014-12-20T18:35:49+00:00

Average men in general have a hard time with online dating.

kranos33 · 2014-12-20T21:20:47+00:00

I agree, it is actually harder in Larger cities as there is more noise. There is the "paradox of choice", where people that have too many options can actually be unhappy.

Living in NYC, what I have found that is super easy to get a 7 and below. But, if you want to date an 8 and above you are competing in the big leagues. You are competing with people that are in the top of their game, either be a profession (doctors, lawyers), money (finance, inherited), or looks (models, actors).

You have to be yourself at the top of the game as well at least in one area. Either looks, money, or status/profession, and can be average on the rest, you will find somebody that likes you.

But if you are mediocre on all of them, then sorry 7s and below is all you can get. Just because there are more 8's walking around in a big city, doesn't mean they want to date you. (unless they hit the 30s, and looking for anybody).

[deleted] · 2014-12-20T22:03:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

kingofpoplives · 2014-12-20T17:45:42+00:00

There seem to be a lot of guys here who have a hard time getting dates. Is this primarily due to location?

No, this is just 80/20 rule in action.

Men of OKCupid, did you have (ironically) have fewer dates in a big city (Population > 2,000,000) than in a smaller city/town (Population < 300,000)?

Maybe, if a guy gets really lucky, and just happens to be the only decent guy in some random small town that a hot woman lives in, it might help his chances. But usually these women just don't exist. Attractive young women move to cities, so what's left is single mom's and loser girls who still live with their parents. In a sparsely populated area, you will quickly run out of decent women to message, and new ones only pop up sporadically.

In big cities, there is a ton of competition so the flake rate is really high, but there is always a flow of new women. So maybe it's a bit harder to get that true 9-10, but that same girls does not even exist in the rural area, and it is way easier to meet 6-8s.

zxsteven · 2014-12-21T06:22:09+00:00

I grew up in Chicago, and moved to LA for college, then back to Chicago. Now being 23, I can safely say, regardless of where I've been, people haven't changed.

Even now, if I go to the store, mall, walk down the street, gym, online, wherever it may be, it's like solid beta-females. Not once have I ever been flat-out rejected by any of them. I always get the "Oh, I'm not sure what I want," or "Whatever happens happens" response.

Then I see miserable girls everywhere complaining how shitty their boyfriends are.

I have not met one girl this year who didn't tell me she goes for the "bad boy" and then proceed to explain in great detail how they fuck her over every time.

No matter how much I try, I can't understand how they think. Pretty much all they do is party and bang guys. I feel like the current bar for women has been set unusually low these days.

As for population, I'd think its more location specific. Depending on the town, the local dating scene might be different. When I go to the surrounding states, girls are dropping like flies, yet these would be Wisconsin, Michigan, Indiana, Tennessee, Missouri, and Iowa. All of which are nowhere near as packed as Chicago.

HeinousFu_kery · 2014-12-20T20:11:11+00:00

I think the assumption is that if you're online you're only going to look at very close prospects, and that's not necessarily true for everyone.

Did Match (this was before OKC) and found that getting dates in a smaller town wasn't a problem, though you have to be willing to expand your radius slightly. Had a few in other cities as I traveled, and also got plenty through F2F.

The difference is I was older (mid 40s) and had/have a good career going. When you're over ~30ish the game flips and you are the one in demand by desperate women, so my problem was filtering out the crazies and leeches, though there was plenty of hotness and wild abandon in the process.

Finally met a responsible, sane woman (yes, there are a rare few) though I had to travel to another city to do it, and have been happily married for 5 years now.

alpha_n3rd · 2014-12-20T17:29:03+00:00

Fewer men usually means fewer women as well.

el_chief · 2014-12-20T17:50:21+00:00

Hot women from small towns tend to move to the big city to find alpha cock / beta bucks.

GuitarHero07 · 2014-12-20T18:26:14+00:00

In my experience the easiest places to get dates online are the biggest cities simply because of the sheer numbers of women available. Sure, the women will also get more messages but there is also a higher probability of "clicking" with more females. Basically, in the big cities, the numbers game is on your side. On the other hand, in a smaller town, you will exhaust your options quite quickly. In NYC and Chicago, I can usually get a date pretty quickly and I sometimes do that before I even visit so that I have options lined up. But in my smaller town (population 180,000 with a metro of around 850,000), the pickings are a lot slimmer.

bitches_be_crazy86 · 2014-12-20T19:30:13+00:00

Instead of overanalysing statistics focus on becoming less average. I mean what's the next step ? Move to idaho to get moar pussey ? Notice that there's no change and physically eliminate other men ? Sure you could probably kill every male in a small town to appear less average but if you're better than others you're better than others everywhere

Surf_Or_Die · 2014-12-21T02:51:21+00:00

I don't really see this working out mathematically.

Simplified - the ratio of men/women is roughly 50/50 everywhere. I'm excluding towns near oilfields, logging towns etc. that have a high percentage of men. But lets assume that you live in an average American city. The statistics are the same in big and small cities.

In my experience getting a date in Los Angeles is far easier than in Newport Beach (pop. < 100,000) or Santa Barbara (pop 200,000+).

devlindigital · 2014-12-21T05:04:30+00:00

I recently moved back to a smaller town from a large city. I happened to be back in the large city last weekend and was blown away by how much easier the online dating game was. Small town, small pool, low variety, less opportunity. I think the "single and ready to mingle" mantra is much more common in metropolitan areas.

telechronn · 2014-12-21T16:31:12+00:00

I used to live in a big city (1 Mill pop roughly), now I live in a smaller city with a college in the same state (100K).

Online dating "seems" much sparser in terms of the number of women worth going out with. But I've met and fucked more early 20s girls online now then I ever have before. Now I attribute that to my game/SMV being better and higher in this smaller town more than anything.

YMMV

Claude_Reborn · 2014-12-20T22:58:26+00:00

Big cities like San Fran and Vancouver ( my last home) are absolutely horrible for dating because the women there are spoiled for choice and will only go for the Top RP people.

Also, online dating only really favors men who won the genetic lottery. So if you're average looking, or even slightly above average, you'll still loose out because all the women are sharing the top 20% of good looking guys.

I have a mate in Vancouver who won the genetic lottery and he has bedded literally hundreds of women in Vancouver, and the ones he met through his tour guide work.

TL;DR

Bigger the city, the better you need to be.
Online dating is only for above average, attractive men. bigger the pool, the better you need to be.

DougieTheCaker · 2014-12-21T16:47:58+00:00

Budd girls get literally 100s of messages a day I've seen it with my own eyes. And I'm talkin 7-8s.

TimPartendale · 2014-12-20T19:09:03+00:00

I've dated in both settings and I prefer the large city atmosphere. Granted, I don't use much online dating, I meet girls in the real world.

InSearchofOMG · 2014-12-20T22:48:36+00:00

The bigger the city, the less online dating should even be part of your game. Get the hell out there and remove the buffer between you and what you're after.

_Insidious_ · 2014-12-21T22:00:21+00:00

Why not just do more in person approaches? Screw online dating, screw texting. Do the real thing, you see a piece of ass you want - go out and take it.

You don't have the balls to do it? Get some testosterone, start letting that shit flow through your veins. You'll be on the pussy train no time my friend.

tombreck2 · 2014-12-20T17:46:41+00:00

It's the same; if you can get dates in a town of 100 people then you are going to get dates in a town of 1,000,000+

Title	Do average men in big cities have a harder time getting dates online?
Author	spinaroonie2
Upvotes	11
Comments	31
Date	December 20, 2014 5:17 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2pwc3k/do_average_men_in_big_cities_have_a_harder_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/do-average-men-in-big-cities-have-a-harder-time.26707 https://theredarchive.com/post/26707

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