TLDR: Applied RP principles for the first time after leaving a 25 year monogamous LTR. Shit tests are fun. Cocky/funny really works. TRP really works. It’s fun!
Background: I came out of a 25 year monogamous LTR just a few weeks ago. I am in my 40’s and I have kids. I haven’t had to look for women or flirt in a long time. My ex wife is a BPD and was crazy for sex so I never had the need to look elsewhere. Since the end of my LTR I have been reading the sidebar, all the posts here, The Rational Male, etc.
I went out last week and had an interesting time applying TRP principles for the first time. I attended a meetup – I find that meetups are good for getting the night going and for giving you social proof in a club or bar. I was chatting to a few of the women on the meetup in the bar – just enjoying the conversation and not forcing anything too early in the night. Once we moved to the club I got into a group with a couple of the women and a couple of other guys. I started joking around with all members of the group (male and female) using TRP principles: AA, neg hits, etc. This was all effortless and not at all forced or planned. I was simply having a good time. After a while it was clear that the two women in the group were fascinated with me. The two other guys started to get a bit needy as the realised what had happened so I backed off a bit as I wasn’t interested in the women.
After a while a blonde HB8 from the club (that wasn’t part of the meetup) approached me and started talking to me. She started with the “Shit tests” straight away. I have longish hair and I got a “what’s with the hair?”. I grinned into her face and said “I don’t know, I keep cutting it but it keeps growing”. She literally beamed into my face. She kept up the tests like this and, to be honest, it was great fun. It was effortless. I didn’t even consciously think of them as shit tests at the time – just a bit of banter. After a while I got asked “so do you think that I am just going to kiss you if you keep talking to me” to which I replied “No, I think I am going to kiss you”. Again, she clearly loved me saying this. Obviously all the reading of the sidebar has paid off because I didn’t have to even think – I just batted this straight back at her. Having a DGAF attitude really helps and seems to really turn women on.
At the same time I was applying kino and escalation. I started touching her early in the conversation which has always been my problem before. Touched her on the upper arm very early on, put my arm around her about the time she asked about the kiss and danced with her while feeling her hips/ass etc. In my last few nights out over the past few weeks I didn’t do this – I was scared and the women eventually got bored and left. Tonight, I saw how effective touch is. If she is talking to you then she is interested. If she is interested she wants to be touched. This was a valuable lesson for me.
Anyway, we made out all night. Towards the end of the night I was a bit drunk and she was starting to come out with some LMR and ASD stuff. She met some “friends” from work and started to talk to them. It was clear that she wanted me to chase after her but I wasn’t bothered. I was getting lots of eyes from other women in the club and I was feeling the abundance so I just walked out of the club. I really had a DGAF attitude, to the point where I didn’t care if she went off with these guys.
My takeway from the night was how much fun this all is. I have been reading a lot of stuff about shit tests and escalation here and it always sounds so heavy and I think a lot of people make too big a deal of them. In practice it’s just a bit of fun and if you treat it that way then it works.
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