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Originally posted by /u/DCLdit.

This is the first post I ever put on my blog (http://dcllive.wordpress.com/2014/03/24/cheat-sheet/).

I thought I would share it here.

While cleaning out a desk/dresser of mine I found an old cell phone (BlackBerry Bold). I charged it up and started to explore and came across what I would call a 'cheat sheet' I made in a notepad-app about three years ago.

I rearranged the rough content to have somewhat of a flow to it. Hope you enjoy...

  • -statements make educated guesses and are far more engaging
  • -effective language = speaking with fewest words possible while still maintaining your meaning and intent
  • -women do not see features they see how you present yourself
  • -women do not hear words they hear your intentions
  • -talk louder, then louder than that
  • -always make people break eye contact with you before you break it with them
  • -when engaging in conversation, suppress the urge until its your turn (one-up-ing)
  • -lean back
  • -do not lean forward
  • -watch others
  • -do not put head down
  • -pause, relax and slow down
  • -do not laugh at things you do not find funny
  • -take up more space
  • -stop approval seeking
  • -my boundary/frame is established, eg. “I value honesty, curiosity, education, intelligence and authenticity, etc.”
  • -keep your approval, keep your power
  • -project self-image and beliefs
  • -honest signals to practice
  • -do not stare, moral looking time
  • -dominant and confident posture and walk
  • -slower than usual movements and gestures
  • -be conscious of your body language until it becomes unconscious
  • -allow her to orient her body to you
  • -tone of voice, “hey what up”
  • -rub a girls back while hugging, do not pat
  • -physical escalation
  • -eye contact
  • -verbal contact
  • -hand to arm
  • -hand to shoulder
  • -shoulder to hip
  • -hip to leg
  • -face to face
  • -mouth to mouth
  • -things to talk about
  • -F.O.R.D (good things to talk about)
  • -Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams
  • -R.A.P.E (would not recommend using these as talking points)
  • -Religion, Abortion, Politics and Economics
  • -the inflection of your voice, do your statements sound like questions?
  • -be aware of the strength you finish your sentences with, some people trail off when they do not think others are listening
  • -ignore her beauty
  • -keep your eyes at normal resting size, if not a little bit tighter than usual
  • -while making eye contact do not over focus on one eye, move back and forth, find your rhythm - EDIT May 11 2014 - Since writing this I have noticed when moving back and forth it can come off as reactive, attention seeking and needy, use with caution
  • -soften your gaze to the point you can comfortably see both eyes without focusing on either one
  • -smile big with your whole face, like you just saw your best friend for the first time in a year
  • -breath from your belly
  • -before an act or action we need oxygen as fuel
  • -draw air into the bottom portion of your lungs before the chest muscles expand and draw further air into the upper portion
  • -funny shit-test responses to “do you play video games?”
  • -“no I use mature media modules”
  • -“no I dabble in adult entertainment simulations”
  • -quotes
  • -“No persons time, attention or companionship is more valuable than your own.”
  • -“You cannot allow your ego to become attracted to receiving specific reactions and responses from people.”
  • -“What you make yourself to be is a choice. What happens to you as a result of what you are, is not.”
  • -“Whatever it is you are feeling is a perfect reflection of what is in the process of becoming.”
  • -“Confidence is the reward for being Courageous.”
  • -“Men have approach anxiety and women have last-minute-resistance anxiety.”
  • -have preferences to create your identity
  • -if a guy is looking your girl up-and-down
  • -“Chief, eyes on your own paper.”
  • -keep moving on, but preserve what works

Cheers.