A while back, I had a guide on how to use OKCupid for the highest rate of success. At the time, I hadn't got into Tinder. Michael Caine Well, over da last month or so, dat has changed. Michael Caine This app is much different than a dating site, and I'm about to learns ya on why.

This shouldn't be a surprise, but being attractive is #1. I don't know why this comes as a shock to some people. "You mean I have to be attractive on an app that requires people to make a 5 second judgement of my face?" No shit. I'm not here to coddle you, Tinder is no fun if you aren't attractive (or photogenic). This isn't about brain power or being witty unless you can attract them first. So, don't tell me that if you're unattractive, Tinder is a waste of time. I agree, it is, so don't use the app or this post.

For those that are facially attractive, but still a bit inexperienced or blue pill, I'm going to outline some exact verbatim messages that led me from tinder > phone > face-to-face > sex. But first, let's go over something to avoid:

DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER

Avoid the girls that list their snapchat and instragram in their profile. These women are collecting men to like their pictures and give them free attention. They don't plan on ever moving from the digital world to real life. Once you get the hang of it, it's easy to see which ones are it in for the attention and have no intention of meeting. If I message a girl and the first few texts mention following her on instagram or adding her on snapchat, she's getting unmatched ASAP. Ain't nobody got time for that. Do you like to look, but not taste? Me either. Adding strangers to Snapchat is stupid. Go to r/gonewild if you want nudes.

What I find fun about Tinder is that it forces you to think quickly. Most women on there have bare profiles, so you have to search their pictures for random bits of information to message them. This isn't unlike what I do in real life and it's good practice. You're going to have to spot an interesting piece of jewelry, make an observation about the surroundings, or come up with a clever/witty line to intrigue her. I like Tinder more than OKC, because swiping right means they find you attractive. On OKC, it's a guessing game, and her inbox will be flooded with an unbelievable amount of faggotry. Tinder allows her to streamline the experience so it's much easier to talk to attractive people.

So, here are some successful interactions. I have no idea about this app for older women, because I have the filters set to 18-23. All these women are young and hot. When I say "what's your #" that means she gave it to me the next message and the Tinder interaction is over. It's my go-to line every time.

First girl = Lauren - G = Gatsby = Me

I noticed a giant, gaudy looking necklace in her profile pic that reminded me of the "heart of the ocean" from Titanic.

  • G - Your necklace reminds me of the titanic. Don't wear that on any boats around here...
  • L - I love titanic
  • G - So what's your take.. was rose hogging the door?
  • L - He totally could have gotten on there
  • G - I can't believe it.. a woman finally admits it.
  • L - Selfish bish
  • G - You can redeem her and save a door for this jack if our boat sinks
  • L - I'm impressed with how smooth you are hand clapping emoji
  • G - What's your #

Second girl = Eliza

In her profile pic, she had a caption that said "on one of the worst nights", but she looked hot and completely normal.

  • G - That's your worst night face? You must be easy to please.
  • E - Hahahahha
  • E - Not sassy enough for you?
  • G - Not even
  • G - Where were you at?
  • E - The casino
  • G - Did you win? We can only together if you're a lucky charm and not a cooler
  • E - I didn't win.. :/
  • G - Lucky you Eliza, your luck is about to change
  • E - Oh yea? ;)
  • G - What's your #

Third girl = Melanie

Only two profile pics, but her profile said "meow." When I matched, she messaged me first.

  • M - Hi
  • G - ruff
  • M - Lol
  • M - Because of the meow?
  • G - I'll only talk to you if you're a nice kitty
  • M - I'm the sweetest kitty you'll ever meet ;)
  • G - I'm more of a pitbull
  • G - Beware
  • M - Hmmmmmm... text me? Maybe? her number

Fourth girl = Chloe

Her profile picture was of her in Machu Picchu; my favorite thing to rib women about.

  • G - Macchu Picchu? C'mon man.. that's like white girl achievement unlocked
  • C - Hey! I actually lived in Peru!
  • C - But yeah haha you're right..
  • G - What's your necklace about?
  • C - It's the Brandenburg gate in berlin
  • G - Awesome. Are you a nazi too?
  • C - Haaa omg no just german
  • G - That's too bad
  • C - So why are you on here?
  • G - To fulfill ra's al ghul's destiny
  • G - (and maybe meet you too)
  • C - Haha that's good
  • C - Just what I'm looking for
  • C - her number

Fifth girl = Nikki

She had a picture of her dog, her with her dad, and a singular one. She also had a profile blurb of "pre-pa." Whatever that means..

  • G - That guy is adorable
  • G - And the pup is nice too i guess
  • N - Hahahah that "guy" is my father.. tho I'm sure he'd appreciate being told that
  • G - Who is more adorable?
  • G - Don't worry it's our secret
  • N - hahaha oh thank you, way to put me on the spot
  • G - What's this pre-pa in your profile? Pickup artist? You refining your skills on here?
  • N - Hah.. no.. you clearly are the master of that though.
  • N - Physician's assistant
  • G - That's not the one that wipes elderly butts is it?
  • N - Haha um no
  • N - What do you do mr smart ass?
  • G - I'm in marketing. So picture don draper but w/o the crippling alcoholism
  • N - Oh, so just a little alcoholism then?
  • G - No, but I do have a crippling addiction to pizza, but that's my little cross to bear
  • N - Your humor makes up for it ;)
  • G - That's because you haven't seen me in front of a slice yet
  • N - I can't even imagine what you're like in person..
  • G - Well, it's your lucky day.
  • G - What's your #

Sixth girl = Samantha

Her profile blurb said "I probably only swiped right because your dog is cute."

  • G - I don't have a dog in my pics.. what are you trying to say? ಠ_ಠ
  • S - We need to go puppy shopping
  • G - Okay but he stays at your place
  • S - Haha okay
  • G - If he starts humping you then just take it
  • G - (i get this lenience too)
  • S - Deal
  • G - What's your #

So, as you can see, the trick is to be immature, tease them, and get the # ASAP. It's Tinder, keep it light. The ones who are there to meet/bang will give you their information and have no problem setting up a meeting as long as you aren't boring. I don't care about their hopes, dreams, or anything related to not having fun. They are using the app to get laid, that's the whole point. These interactions take me maybe 15-20 minutes, which is faster than I can close at most bars. And as I said before, interactions like the ones I showed you are basically how I meet women in real life, so it's not much different. Once you meet them in person, standard TRP rules apply. Don't put all your eggs in the Tinder basket, but there are tons of smoking hot women on there and this is A+ supplemental material.

EDIT: sperg formatting

EDIT #2 on 11/29: - Reading a lot of the plugged-in comments in this thread makes me believe I can write a follow-up post. It's gonna be called How some people on TRP apparently can't even read.

  • Gatsby