How Do You Guys Make "Nexting" Look So Easy?

MachiavellianRed · 2016-03-19T13:07:43+00:00

RedBigMan · 2016-03-19T01:59:17+00:00

Nexting becomes easy when you realize the person you should invest the most energy in is yourself.

Once you realize that then chasing skirts just becomes a hobby rather than your reason for living.

gainzndamez · 2016-03-19T02:25:00+00:00

She said she's not completely happy with her boyfriend; I didn't really know what to make of that.

Sounds like an invitation to me. You should invite her over to talk and have drinks. "Talk" and "have drinks". See where things go.

How do you make nexting look so easy?

Have abundance mentality. And the way to have abundance mentality is to have abundance. Don't get caught up in one woman.

MentORPHEUS · 2016-03-19T01:54:52+00:00

I really thought she was into me. So I spent some more time with her on the job

Textbook oneitis. You put all your hopes and effort into this one prospect, only to be disappointed.

This is why Abundance Mentality is so important in RP canon. You need to be working multiple prospects at once; don't find one woman you like and focus everything on her.

Work on polarizing her as a potential partner early on; the long getting to know her before daring to ask process lands you in the friend zone. As the man, it's your prerogative to initiate IOIs like touching, then be aware of the feedback signals to see if you can reach a state of push-pull with her. Do this early on after meeting; Game is not doing it in a ham-fisted manner that turns off your prospects.

If not, you've invested little and NEXT comes easy.

Dating is a numbers game, you have to churn through many prospects who don't return IOIs to find the ones who will with you, then you're off to the races. Good luck, brother.

bokehnikon · 2016-03-19T02:17:48+00:00

If you're a young single male, don't live in a podunk town. Move to the biggest, busiest city you can, where there's literally tons of females to pick from.

antariusz · 2016-03-19T04:57:30+00:00

Hot chicks have a boyfriend roughly 95% of the time.

If she's flirting with you, he doesn't matter.

In order to develop an abundance mentality, you have to have an abundance of women. The fact that you're only getting numbers and not actually fucking many women says that your value isn't high enough to break into the top 20% whether it's your body, your status, or your game, something is lacking, work on that, and game will become easier.

You're close, because you are occasionally getting indicators of interest, you're probably about a 7. Which unfortunately in the binary female system a 7 is a 0. (Until they hit the wall, then they'll see you as a safe beta bet)

Swole_is_life · 2016-03-19T04:09:25+00:00

I think it's because many of us did have oneitis and got burned, badly. Once you've experienced firsthand just how cruel a woman can be when she no longer finds you worthy it makes you far less sensitive to just dropping them at the first sign of bullshit.

F_Dingo · 2016-03-19T06:15:21+00:00

I'm tired of going back to square one, I'm tired of letting random bitches control me. They don't deserve it. Advice?

First, we must imagine some potential scenarios about the woman you're about to "next" (aka never talk/associate with again).

Woman #1. She cheated on you, you've been in a relationship with her for over a year now, things were going so well!

Woman #2. She's just a plate, one out of a few women you have casual sex with. Except now she's become bitchy, clingy; she wants some further commitment out of you because showing up, having sex, then leaving just doesn't cut it anymore for her.

Woman #3. You both matched on tinder and she's continuously flaked out on you when you try to set up dates. "Sorry I totally forgot!" or "Something came up, can we reschedule (for the third time)?"

Now, imagine those women as fat, disgusting slobs. They're shallow, vulgar, and morally depleted people. They do drugs, they drink to excess all the time, whatever, they're disgusting to you.

Woman #1 doesn't value the relationship you've both put time and energy into over the past two years.

Woman #2 wants more commitment out of you, even though she's using you to cheat on her beta boyfriend.

Woman #3 has 20 other guys constantly trying to take her on a date, you don't matter even though you've spent the last few months lifting weights, have a killer tinder profile picture, and focused on becoming a better you.

You know what you do in all three of these examples? Drop them and move on with your life, they don't care about you, they don't respect you, it just isn't working for you. So why grovel over them, why waste more time and energy on a lost cause? These are just three women out of tens of thousands in your city, college campus, country, whatever.

Woman #1 - DROPPED!

Woman #2 - DROPPED!

Woman #3 - DROPPED!

I'm going to be real with you, I'm a nerd and have scant experience with members of the opposite sex, but it's a no-brainer for me to drop people, activities, you name it that aren't working out in my favor and focus on stuff that can. These women aren't working out in your favor, so ditch them and move on to others that will.

therellikofthenight · 2016-03-19T03:25:07+00:00

"Nexting" is easy when you know for a fact you can get tang whenever you want. This is why you build up that $$$$$, get yourself a nice car, your own apartment and some nice clothes. With no wife/gf holding you down, the sky's the limit.

SkorchZang · 2016-03-19T04:53:02+00:00

By telling you about the BF this girl is subtly testing to find out what kind of man you are:

Are you a fun, no strings attached, no hangups Alpha Male? This leads to her fucking you and having a lot of fun together, and the boyfriend really can do nothing whatsoever about that, no matter how cool he is.

Or, are you a typical beta, obsessed about labels, sees boyfriend as obstacle, already thinking about exclusive relationships with her, and insecure to the point of jealousy even at this early stage? This leads to her stringing you along, using you to bring her tea and emotional validation (listen to her blab for hours about what an asshole her BF is), then get zilch, nada, nothing in terms of pussy.

If you think the second option is a little unfair, try think of it from the girl's perspective for a moment. By fucking such a beta male she'd be admitting to being some kind of stupid no-impulse-control slut! It's easy with the alpha who's way beyond any judgementalism of that kind and is too focused on himself (his pleasure) to give a shit, but always so complicated with the beta and his mountains of blue pill expectations about women and what princesses they are.

Depending on what kind of man she thinks you are, a woman will be the matching kind of woman with you. Yet it's still the same woman all the way, with the beta and with the alpha. Hence the red pill joke: a human female is a creature with two arms, two legs, two breasts and two faces.

TomFoo · 2016-03-19T02:58:42+00:00

Time.

I'm building a business. I can work everyday but burnouts happen. So I work six days a week. I have cut down on all nighters at the office because it's not effective and efficient for the business in the long run and also because all nighters are the best way to become a fat fuck.

Once my business is doing well, then I can afford a high quality of life: my own condo in the best part of the city, a Miata (yes I am one of those guys), a motorcycle (still studying this), nice wardrobe, a killer watch collection, throw the most exclusive parties, travel extensively for both work and pleasure, and so on. I am more than willing to pay my dues for the next few years or so to get there.

I also started lifting. This easily takes up 2 hours a day. Cardio days don't take as much time.

Sleep takes up 8 hours. I am trying to go to bed by 10pm, if not 9.

I cook my own meals. Sunday Meal Prep, son. That takes up 4 to 5 hours a week.

Then there's socializing, dating, errands, reading, writing, home improvement (ar ar ar!), etc.

I don't have time for chasing women, let alone the mentality.

Three dates to fuck, bro. Attraction is immediate for women. If she isn't responsive, move on. You have an alpha life to live.

kogsworth · 2016-03-19T01:42:25+00:00

Develop abundance mentality. Don't link your self-worth with women's approval but with your own abilities. Invest in yourself and you'll care more about what you think of yourself than what women think of you.

MattyAnon · 2016-03-19T03:57:46+00:00

How do you get into the mindset where its like: "fuck it, your loss." I need that.

Abundance mentality, and recognition of the true value of a woman who is giving you hassle.

Got her # the first time I approached her, and she seemed pretty happy to be texting me and whatnot.

Girls just love attention and options. If they're wasting your time.... well, that's not her problem.

You got prematurely attached. Don't do that. You don't have other options. Fix that.

The_48_Laws · 2016-03-19T04:32:49+00:00

You have to realize something.

Your time is valuable.

No matter what state you're in, your time is valuable. As a man, you carry a certain amount of utility. You can be useful in some way, shape, or form. This applies to all men. We can be used for something.

And so it really all goes back to setting boundaries so that you won't be taken advantage of. This is the concept of frame. There's also some inner game at play here when you mention the mindset of "fuck it, your loss." That's called believing in yourself. If you don't think that you're time is worthwhile, nobody else will. You might also recognize this as "confidence."

A book that I read recently, The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz, has a bit to say confidence. Basically, he says that confidence is earned. And it's a no-brainer, really. You won't feel confident until you have a reason to be. Up your SMV - eat right, exercise, read books, develop hobbies, cultivate an interesting lifestyle - and confidence will follow. This confidence will naturally lend itself to the abundance mentality that you seek because you'll understand how silly it would be to choose some dumb skank over yourself.

Stick with it, you'll be fine.

scarletspider3 · 2016-03-19T04:36:47+00:00

Well you feel that way because you either don't have enough value (yet), or you don't believe you do. Just keep on investing in yourself, whatever that might be for you. It might hurt and be lonely at first, but after a while you'll begin to see that you do in fact bring a lot more to the table then she does. When you get to that point you'll be able to next easily because you know that she's the one that's really missing out, not you.

I been around the block a few times and I been through all the bull-shit with females. Now I no longer have the time or the patience for any of their shit so now if a chick doesn't act in accordance to my standards, I just walk away. It's easy because I know that shes the one that's missing out. That's really also how woman feel about us when they are at their SMV peak. When you start to really achieve things, that's when when the power tips in your favor. That's when you see that most of these chicks are really nothing more then a walking piece of ass and she'll have a much harder time replacing you then you would replacing her.

Thotwrecker · 2016-03-19T05:00:45+00:00

Nexting is difficult when you get oneitis. I used to get oneitis a lot because I would be thirsting hard for confirmation of my status and game. I needed her to be with me, to be attracted, to stay attracted, etc, because if she does that for me, then it confirms in my mind that I'm this super mega alpha dude.

So what I'm saying is it's all your ego. Nexting is easy when you stop needing thots to confirm your value. You cannot fake an abundance attitude; you only get an abundance attitude when you have abundance. It took me about 25 women before I can honestly say I stopped getting oneitis and stopped getting all butthurt about having to cut a girl off. I eventually just realized that women aren't going to always be what you want. Sometimes they will give you great IOIs and not fuck, sometimes they will act aloof and uninterested, but you'll wind up fucking them. There's patterns to female behavior, but they are like leaves in the wind - you would not be upset at leaves for landing on your lawn / not landing on your lawn, right?

Becoming abundant is not a process of thinking RP thoughts and mentally jerking yourself off about how abundant you are. You have to actually go out and realize that there are thousands of girls out there, and many, many, many of them are better than the girl you have.

Nexting is only hard when your ego gets wrapped up in it. The solution to ego getting wrapped up in it is abundance mentality. VOLUME is the key to abundance mentality. Macro-perspective.

Always keep a macro-perspective. Volume game is the key.

Luckyluke23 · 2016-03-19T07:11:26+00:00

women make texting SO easy it's not even funny.

the modern day women have learned it's better to NOT SAY ANYTHING than have any agreement on breaking up.

just wait till she stop texting and you won't have to do anything at all.

ohsoentitled · 2016-03-19T08:11:56+00:00

As everybody else mentioned the ability to next a girl comes in large part from abundance mentality. If you have other viable options available to you, the feeling of starting from ground zero will largely be offset.

It isn't particularly practical advice for anyone that isn't in abundance however. My advice to you would be to screen, heavily. If a girl doesn't stand up to your rather stringent standards then she has no right to be pursued.

The reason why this is helpful is because it's a mindset shift from where you currently are. Rather than trying to fit into her life, she should be trying to fit into yours.

I really thought she was into me

Since she works nearby I'd been spending quite a bit of time with her

I was really excited about this chick.

Just figured it'd be nice, and we were having a good conversation.

These are all examples of where you're in a place of lower value and she's in a place of higher value. If she isn't a good fit for you because you've decided that, then she doesn't get to experience what you have to offer and that IS her loss. I hope that distinction makes sense.

Finally, as many other people said, she mentioned her boyfriend and more to the point she said she wasn't completely happy, so she's already rationalising why hanging out with you would be justified.

Apprentic3 · 2016-03-19T09:33:47+00:00

Just think that you could easily get a hooker at your place just equal to the money you would spend to have a date.

Zachar1a · 2016-03-19T07:40:13+00:00

She mentioned her boyfriend to let you know what her constraints are, that she can't just see you whenever, but it sounds like she is looking to branch-swing away from him if the right guy came along.

Nexting in general is easy if you just DGAF. Even the attitude of "fuck it, your loss" comes across as caring too much and butt-hurt. If you truly DGAF, you just think to yourself, "this isn't working for me", and you just forget about them, because you have other stuff that is working for you.

BlackJ1 · 2016-03-19T04:03:24+00:00

Not trying to make any presumptive conclusions here but most men on here would agree that a lot of the things posted here are embellished in some kind of way.

"Nexting" is not as easy as men on here claim. It still hurts, no matter how you look at it. Whether or not you have the mindset of abundance mentality you will still feel disappointed if you get rejected.

However, having the abundance mentality will help you to not sit and whine about being rejected. It helps you to realize that rejection only makes you stronger and that there are plenty of women out there, many better than the one that rejected you.

One quote I like to remember is:

I never lose, I either win or I learn.

daddymonsterpoodle · 2016-03-19T04:53:30+00:00

If you are actually capable of caring about people, especially women, nexting is hard. Yeah, having other options helps but if you get to the point where you can pump and dump without feeling anything apart from sexual release then you have become the shallow stereotype the feminists say you are AND you will feel empty emotionally. Be proud of the fact that you care and feel.

One-itis is just dumb though.

billcosbyeatsbabies · 2016-03-19T04:54:30+00:00

the reason it's so hard is you don't discipline yourself enough. mental strength is the only thing you ever need in life my friend. anything is easy when you are mentally powerful and in control of your own thoughts and actions. do things you don't want to do but will help you succeed, every day. like going to the gym, finishing that project you're slacking on, cooking a full meal instead of eating bullshit, etc. these are all very healthy ways of training your discipline and once you've been on the ball for a couple months, everything is easier i swear to god. everything bro. nexting a chick would take a second and a half in your mind if you had strong discipline.

also, get your abundance mentality up! you got oneitis bro, she's just one chick among thousands in your immediate vicinity. get on tinder, go cold approach even more etc. you won't even bother with any chicks who you can tell are not going to fuck.

tldr: abundance mentality and discipline is your prescription, go fill it out.

Olipyr · 2016-03-19T05:11:23+00:00

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daddymonsterpoodle · 2016-03-19T05:12:29+00:00

Don't then...if you don't want them to control you, don't let them. Make it clear from day 1 that you aren't gonna put up with shit, and you will have a lot less to put up with.

Being scared to say what you want is the essence of scarcity mentality. There are 3 billion women on the planet. You will get another chance.

As for too broke, too tall, too ugly, too short, too old, too fat, too serious, too funny...get the heck over it. Fix what you can, work with what you can't but stop making excuses.

OmegaX11 · 2016-03-19T05:19:03+00:00

These guys are right, it's gotta be about what's best for you. I had a 3 year LTR that I nexted on because, in the span of a week, I realized I was being horribly beta and oneitis about it, and it would never work out. Just bam and ended it.

You gotta understand, there are ALWAYS more females out there. Somebody's giving you more shit than they're worth? Cut em out. Your life has to be about you and then other people.

Corndog_Enthusiast · 2016-03-19T05:31:03+00:00

And you didn't go for that shit? She's basically telling you she's DTF if you can continue to pass each of her fitness tests.

smokecheck1976 · 2016-03-19T06:02:54+00:00

Hey, it's pretty cool that you are doing better with women. It's a good place to start. If she isn't completely happy with her boyfriend, it's probably a relationship on the wane anyway. There isn't a thing wrong with asking her out for drinks and seeing what else she wants to talk about.

You can tell her that you aren't interested in being anything more than a friend to a girl that is living with her boyfriend and then enforce that boundary. You can get to know whether this a person worth investing in and you leave the decision on what she wants to do with her current relationship up to her. So far, she has been honest with you, so why you mad, bro?

She didn't control you or manipulate you. You were simply hoping for something that isn't there at the moment. Work on yourself, focus on your goals. She isn't the only one that will be like that.

You want hard mode. I live in the Shenandoah Valley. I love the landscape. I love waking up to crisp, clear air. I love that I am within 40 minutes of a lot of great hiking trails. I enjoy having my windows open for almost six months a year. The dating scene here? Long Term Relationships are almost the only option when I am here. There isn't a nightclub scene and at almost 40, I'm not interested anyway. The likelihood of meeting a woman who has her shit together and doesn't have two or three kids at her feet and wants someone to take care of her are basically nil.

vaelamin · 2016-03-19T06:28:05+00:00

Ugh down to earth girls are the biggest sluts. Fucking her wont be hard.

wont_tell_i_refuse_ · 2016-03-19T06:31:15+00:00

Just realize that pussy is easy to come by and she's not special. Worked for me, OP.

B0u1dA · 2016-03-19T07:32:16+00:00

You're the prize. Any woman would be lucky to have you and your attention is a rare and beautiful gift. Embody that.

Rhynovirus · 2016-03-19T08:08:12+00:00

Nexting is only difficult if you value women more than they are worth.

To them you are replaceable, interchangeable. View them the same: enjoy them when they last, discard them when they no longer serve you.

michael_wilkins · 2016-03-19T08:39:06+00:00

Well you just ignore their communication and if your in a relationship of any kind you just tell them your not any more.

Done.

If your really having trouble go the Homer Simpsons route.

Dear Baby, welcome to Dumpsville, population you.

mirceamrc1 · 2016-03-19T11:24:56+00:00

Her not being happy with her boyfriend? She just invited you to make a move. Also, don't text too much. It kills attraction.

redwurst · 2016-03-19T12:54:15+00:00

I never actually thought about why it's easy. I guess I firmly believe next things:

Regardless of what guys here claim, when she doesn't like you there isn't much u can do about it. Find the ones who does and don't talk your way out of the pussy. Or find maybe girls and see what are u made off. However DON'T spend your time on no girls. You should see them like women see 80% of men - that is you shouldn't acknowledge their existence at all.

You can't lost something you didn't have anyway - don't take it serious - it's numbers game and life should be fun.

UniversalFapture · 2016-03-19T01:42:44+00:00

Wrong Place to post this. Go to asktrp before you get banned

Title	How Do You Guys Make "Nexting" Look So Easy?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	25
Comments	48
Date	March 19, 2016 1:34 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4b18cq/how_do_you_guys_make_nexting_look_so_easy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-do-you-guys-make-nexting-look-so-easy.57085 https://theredarchive.com/post/57085

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