How do you replace the feeling of being cared for?

fuckingdanzig · 2013-07-21T03:38:50+00:00

"What progress," you ask, "have I made?"

"I have begun to be a friend to myself." That was indeed a great benefit; such a person can never be alone.

Seneca, Letter VI, On Sharing Knowledge.

Kaquin · 2013-07-21T02:44:53+00:00

Love yourself. You can care for yourself better than anyone else can.

Exactly_what_I_think · 2013-07-21T02:54:57+00:00

PimpinLarge · 2013-07-21T04:46:36+00:00

When you feel your own self-worth, you don't need the validation of anyone else.

In fact, it becomes annoying to have girls bugging you with their "worries" or wondering how you're doing. In the former case, that's what a Mom does; in the latter, if she were putting out, she'd know.

The only reason girls who aren't sexing you bother feigning concern is to ping the status of their backup options. The exception is girls who want you, but you don't want. Your own orbiters.

Once you realize that only you can determine your own purpose, then instantly, everyone else's plans for you and designs on your life become swine before pearls. A bunch of spam on hoofs that keep trying to get in your way.

decltype · 2013-07-21T03:36:15+00:00

Anyway, how do you replace the feeling of being cared for? Having someone who thinks about you, worries about you, wonders how you're doing. I guess not in a a friendship way but a loving way.

Replace someone with yourself. Care for yourself. Think about yourself. Worry about yourself. Wonder how you are doing. Love yourself.

Once you master all of the above you will not need them from somebody else.

This too, is something I'd like to say to myself. I've watched a lot of drama-both tv series and movies since I hit grade school. I think it's toxic for a boy growing up. I'm afraid I overdosed.

vengefully_yours · 2013-07-21T15:42:11+00:00

I simply realized I have the cookie. I have what they want, I do not need them, they need me. They want and need the resources I have accrued and earned over the last few decades of sacrifice and destroying my body. I do not have to give it to anyone, there is no law which states I must share. If they want something from me, they must do what it takes to get it. Its my fucking cookie, I earned it.

That was the start. Now I realize other people care about me, everyone who knows me admires and appreciates me, because of the type of man I am. I am generous, trustworthy, reliable, and IRL humble yet confident. I know what I am capable of, and people can see that. I do not let people use me, if I help them, they must help me at some time in the future.

After being hurt by every fucking woman I have been with, every single one cheating and leaving me for someone with less to offer, I realized I was selling myself short. My second wife left for a meth addict who lived 800 miles away the first time, I took her back. Now she is with a kid 20 years younger than me (7 younger than her), who cant keep a job, and lived with his parents until her parents put both of them up in a cabin at their place.

She gets no fucking cookie.

AlwaysLateToThreads · 2013-07-21T02:42:47+00:00

You can't replace something that never existed.

AlfredTheGreatest · 2013-07-21T14:26:49+00:00

Women DO love and care for men. Redpill is about activating those feelings. Want to know if a woman cares for you? Get sick. I had the flu this week and was actually quite touched by the experience of having both my girlfriend and a girl I'm seeing (yes, my gf knows. We have an unusual relationship.) Fight to take care of me. The girl I'm seeing bought me like $40 worth of herbal tea and wanted to bring me soup all the time. My gf has been waiting on me hand and foot all weekend. It's all a very nice feeling to be cared for.

I do feel like redpill sometime degenerates into a "all women suck, don't give a shit, and are whores" fest, and that's just not true. You don't have to replace the feeling of being cared for by a woman. You just have to understand that being someone that's needy won't make a woman want to care for you. Women are pretty much designed to take care of people they value. Redpill will help you get that girl in the first place, and get her to value you.

Don't get jaded and depressed! Your life will get much better from now on if you put the work in.

Mmm... girlfriend just brought me some coffee and kleenex.

PittHarman · 2013-07-21T14:29:41+00:00

Why replace it?

It wasn't real.

That fantasy is like a huge rock your carrying around, just drop it. (Thanks Buddha)

sensitivePornGuy · 2013-07-22T01:19:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

VeryWideDoucheNozzle · 2013-07-21T21:07:22+00:00

You Lift!

That's it; once you make gym a 4~7 day thing in your life ... all these other feelings fuck off. You see poon you wana hit it; you don't go home and sulk your own teets to sleep.

Lift!

I cannot emphasize that enough.

PerniciousOne · 2013-07-21T04:44:36+00:00

Well most women today are very materialistic, and you cannot expect that women will be offering caring options if you ever hit hard times.

If you lose your job, or your house, your loving/caring girlfriend will most likely leave you, and you will be in the exact same situation that you are describing. You are only useful to her for what you are providing her at the moment, she would only care about you if you were paying for her stuff still.

The only person that you can count on who will care for you is yourself. Your parents, and siblings have a vested interest in caring for you, but women generally will ignore you if you do not have something to offer them.

Gantznaught · 2013-07-21T03:00:57+00:00

Relevant http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JC5DXGIC8s8&list=FL7XibQVv3bqlPqOrLod3NQw&index=6

abcd_z · 2013-07-21T10:25:22+00:00

If it's just the emotional state you're after, I wrote something on the subject recently. It was designed for a breakup I was going through, but the principles should still apply to your situation.

SeekingAlpha · 2013-07-21T16:40:47+00:00

Throwaway because Obama? You realize that making throwaways make you more suspicious right? I'm presuming you're not masking your IP/MAC addresses.

Just sayin'!

Zer0nation · 2013-07-21T18:32:46+00:00

Hmm. Answer your question with both an answer and question;

You don't replace it because you don't need it. If you've lurk on this subreddit long enough, you realize that women are realistically never going to "care for" you the way you crave. What you want is simply incompatible with our culture's women, a dream created by your mom and popular media. On a psychological level, every guy wants the kind of love only a mother can provide, and you're not gonna get that some any other woman whose vagina you didn't pop out of. I'm sure someone else here can add the link backing that up.

As for being a new red pill user, welcome, and why would you want to be cared about like that? To feel safe, and secure in your relationship? Do you think care equates to trustworthiness, or does it feed your ego to believe the woman you love will always be there for you?

^ You can have all of that, and more, as long as you keep your personal realistic and perceived value much higher than that of the woman you're interested in. That's the secret. No woman is going to cheat on a guy that can give her everything she wants and needs, if she knows that he's better than her in every way and doesn't need her.

dropit_sphere · 2013-07-21T06:10:40+00:00

God. Brothers (blood or otherwise).

da-way · 2013-07-21T15:03:18+00:00

Read No more mr. nice guy , this book has been recommended many times by TRP and it is a must read for anyone starting their RP-transformation.

2013-07-21T15:51:08+00:00

Throwaway because Obama.

A subreddit you might like

Syphillitis · 2013-07-21T16:01:58+00:00

When I talk about confidence, I don't mean in the "alpha" sense, that is really just a caricature of a 4chan meme and masculinity fused into a giant joke. But self confidence, and being happy with what you are will remove the need to feel cared for. Develop your hobbies, get in good shape, and you will shed the need to feel cared for. In future relationships, you will also be able to go into them without expecting to depend on your girlfriend for these things.

EtovNowd · 2013-07-21T18:45:28+00:00

You don't.

You accept that no one should/could/would care for you the way you think/feel2 you should be cared for.

Thus you pick up the slack yourself.

You accept this and move on.

projectself · 2013-07-21T21:04:22+00:00

Bradshaw has some interesting stuff, I suggest you purchase the audio book for "Homecoming". It's inner child stuff, and was the way I found how to love myself. It basically boils down to finding that awkward 4 year old you were, that 6 year old, that 7 year old. Healing his wounds and giving him your love. When your stressed, talk to him.

You are the only person who will never leave you. Cherish yourself for that.

anal_cyst · 2013-07-21T06:59:26+00:00

don't know where to get it. I just know that you wont get it from women.

favours_of_the_moon · 2013-07-21T19:38:00+00:00

Get over your mommy issues.

IllimitableMan · 2013-07-21T02:50:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2013-07-22T02:05:53+00:00

The more I take notice I realize the only times my girlfriend 'cares' for me is if I have validated her emotions.

thrownaway_MGTOW · 2013-07-21T07:59:19+00:00

U miss ur mommy?

Title	How do you replace the feeling of being cared for?
Author	rpquestion
Upvotes	32
Comments	59
Date	July 21, 2013 2:37 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1iqan2/how_do_you_replace_the_feeling_of_being_cared_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-do-you-replace-the-feeling-of-being-cared-for.5687 https://theredarchive.com/post/5687

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