Left while im deployed

EpicLevelCheater · 2017-06-22T19:52:58+00:00

Questions go to askTRP, or in our weekly megathread.

That being said, you look like you have received the needed advice. Now read our sidebar and bring yourself up to speed.

Ceramic-Fish · 2017-06-22T08:07:54+00:00

Just ignore her completely, if you have to interact with her just act like it's a hindrance out a chore you have to put up with, don't make excuses to see her or talk to her and don't complain about any of the shit she did. She knows it was messed up she just wants to hear you bitch about it so she can confirm in her head that you're weak.

TheRedThrowAwayPill · 2017-06-22T08:09:40+00:00

and wanted to go discover herself

Show's over, bud.

have a $4000 ring that I don't know what to do with.

Sell it.

she asks me what day I come back, if I want to keep her cat, if she can buy my old phone, and asked me to send her the playlist I made for her when we first started dating.

Cease contact. Immediately. This is basically a slap in the face due to total disrespect on her part. You're basically a nothing piece of crap to her. A spent shell to be discarded - she's on to the next one. If you must respond to her, then via text tell her, yes to the cat, no to the old iphone. Full stop (f the stupid playlist). Then just block her. She's basically initiating the "Let's be friends" routine in the event she might need freebies from you. (Dang she's just being rude now. so disrespectful)

Listen, you're used to fellow men having loyalty, honor and fraternity. Do not expect this from the female of the species. Because, in all honesty, she's not a man.

Saving grace : you did not marry that. Holy shit did you ever avoid the Russian roulette bullet. (assuming this entire post is even real).

G_Petronius · 2017-06-22T18:08:20+00:00

You have my warmest congratulations. Instead of marrying this slag, you got out and got wise for the low low price of three months of unpaid rent and an engagement ring you can recoup some costs on. That's a bargain many men would kill for.

FatalTypingAccident · 2017-06-22T08:46:40+00:00

you can ask your chain of command for advice too. they've all seen this before. chaplain will have 100's of stories.

88Will88 · 2017-06-22T10:28:15+00:00

Dude you got out of this easier and cheaper than most guys. She has taught you a valuable life lesson. There is no chance another woman will do this to you again because you have your guard up now. Oh and you need to either ghost her or be a Machiavellian bastard about things. If she is of utility to you in the future then stay in contact (keep your friends close and your enemies closer) but the general wisdom is to just ghost her. Each case is different so it is up to you.

iwasbornred · 2017-06-22T12:43:57+00:00

You should laugh in her face at that "I know what you're going through bs"

Girls that cheat on military men are a different level of scum imo. Drop this cunt and do not do anything to help her in any way and fuck her over if you can.

SilverFoxMarine · 2017-06-22T12:50:20+00:00

I see she met Jody. Don't fret, most of them do eventually. Dust off and move on, do NOT commit to any woman during enlistment ever.

The shit I saw during active duty is what led me to RP in the first place. AWALT

mushroom_overlord · 2017-06-22T09:39:48+00:00

You got fucked in a way we've come to expect here on TRP. Be thankful it happened now, and not after marriage where she has a chance to divorce rape you. This time it was a ring and rent, better than half your assets probably but not nothing. If you want the rent money tell her, but you don't have much chance getting it outside of court which isn't worthwhile usually.

Cut contact after dealing with necessities and don't give in to the bullshit like trying to get you to take on responsibility of a cat. Don't be "friends" or try to be. Find some new pussy or focus on yourself (optimally both).

Do not allow her to emotionally manipulate you into a relationship again. If you take on this challenge with a strong frame she may try to come back to you if this new guy dumps her, or she might try to get your resources again (AF/BB, read the sidebar if you aren't educated in this). Never ever ever get back into a LTR with her, no matter what feminine trick she pulls such as crying, insisting she made a mistake (if she did it's on her, however much she apologizes she deserved to lose you), or having wild make-up sex with you.

Jyontaitaa · 2017-06-22T13:29:19+00:00

The ring was never worth 4K

The woman was never worth wifing up either

Two lessons: never buy jewelry and never get married.

Can we get a finance flair on this thing? Every discussion of marriage needs a huge fucking finance flair.

[deleted] · 2017-06-22T18:26:17+00:00

Lol.

I guarantee at least one coworker, maybe your boss, told you this would happen, but you didn't listen. She was special.

There is nothing to do, and every deployment, especially the real ones (not 30 day reservist warrior) this stuff happens.

Stop being in an LTR, your life isn't geared for it

Archwinger · 2017-06-22T17:13:07+00:00

She is 21. Dating for 1.5 years. Recently got engaged 4 days before I was set to deploy for one month.

Compare notes with the guys deployed with you. I'll bet a full third of you have this exact same story to tell.

She then proceeded to tell me she felt happier alone, didn't want to be with anyone, and wanted to go discover herself.

Women don't leave a guy to go watch TV and eat bon-bons. They leave a guy for a better guy. In her case "better" could have just meant "here instead of deployed".

She admitted to saying she left me for a new guy. The crazy thing is they really didn't even meet until after I left.

I'd bet good money that's not the case, and this guy has been in the periphery of her life for awhile. Most girls don't take a big risk like this out of the blue.

However, imagine if it was the case. Two seconds after you're out the door, she's at a bar looking to get laid and find someone else. Even if this specific guy wasn't planned, the intention to go get fucked and find someone else as soon as you were gone was most definitely planned. She just needed to get her living situation arranged before telling you the news.

So I guess she moved out and moved in with him and his 2 other room mates.

Probably a more favorable rent situation for her.

I know have a $4000 ring that I don't know what to do with.

Expensive lesson, huh? Though I find it hard to believe a part of you didn't know better.

Also now 2 weeks later when I'm about to return home she asks me what day I come back, if I want to keep her cat, if she can buy my old phone, and asked me to send her the playlist I made for her when we first started dating.

To which you didn't respond because you didn't even get this message and blocked her as soon as you broke up, right?

On top of that she told me that if I need someone to talk to she is there for me because she knows what I'm going through..

Which you didn't see because you aren't getting her communications, right?

How do I handle this situation so im the one in control? I really need some advice on how to handle this properly.

How about not talking to her and fucking other women? Start with that.

rander632 · 2017-06-22T14:44:04+00:00

My thought is, if she couldn't handle a one month deployment, how could you trust her if you had to go down range for a year or more? If you still marry her you will be giving her at least limited power of attorney during a long deployment. Just food for thought bro. I had a girl ditch me during a short term deployment many years ago, so I get what that feels like. Things get better.

nicetimeisback · 2017-06-22T11:25:42+00:00

All deployed men girlfriends/wives do happily cheat during the men deployments, this is something that all military must accept, you can't ask a woman to stay without a man for months, it's just not possible. At least she's not pregnant of another man baby, at least you didn't marry her, at least she was honest enough to end the relationship with you instead of make you a cuck, i say this girl is a decent one, she has been sincere (maybe).

pirateninj4 · 2017-06-22T11:11:30+00:00

The whole time you are back, imagine that she is the ugliest girl you ever hooked up with. Now treat her like that.

If at all possible, avoid contact with her COMPLETELY. Fuck her money she owes you. Think of it as a payment to have dodged a fucking cruise missile.

ecocrat · 2017-06-22T12:31:39+00:00

Cut off contact and never talk to her again.

UrsusG · 2017-06-22T11:04:43+00:00

She gave you the ring back!

That's an honest woman right there, as close to a unicorn as can be.

/s

nonthaki · 2017-06-22T14:13:22+00:00

Take in the sadness. The sadness doesnt revolve only around the topic of women. Look around the world , ... How have you been lied to (politics, mainstream media, feminism, porn, social apps etc etc)? That looks dont matter ? . .. That If you are a good person and work hard, then its always guaranteed you will have success more easier than a rich guy ? Our belief that our parents relationships are actually great and not affected by AWALT and that they are attracted to each other even after all these years ? Just look deeply around you, look at the people and society and recognize how fake they are, look at yourselves and see how you are loosing your time because of fake unimportant things like media, social apps etc. ..and you will see. There are 1000s of such illusions which must be shattered, and only then one Will be truly free, of everything/any expectation. Look around the world and you will see lies in nearly everything. When you see that you have been living in an illusion, or that you have been lied to or been blind To it since birth , nothing matters anymore. If everything's a lie, then does one small lie, like women being good or the promise of Unicorns, matter or be important enough to affect us? Does it matter enough to hurt us? And after realizing this, you can be cool and not fret over anything as you will reach some sort of Amused Mastery in most things in life and not just women. When you purposefully start thinking and realizing all the lies in the world you wont be able to handle the sheer number, such that in the end, your brain will reach the tipping point , and automatically after that, you will no longer give a fuck... Cause you will understand that women are just a small part of the fraction of the lies we live in. And after this epiphany, we will actually be free to live our lives. i.e One will stop wanting to be comforted and lied to by blue-pill fantasies and by society , And one's own false ego of himself and expecting everything he believes, to be true, will be destroyed . The AWALT and evolutionary nature of women becomes just another small truth among the hundreds of other shattering truths about this world and in life. So move beyond . I have . I no longer believe in the concept of love . Will any woman have shown interest in you if you were a bum ? So, whatever women I meet and maybe marry , I will no longer feel love (and doing so has become natural to me). It will only be a contract and some friendship , and I am okay with it now cause I have broke on through to the other side.

It all feels normal now, and I no longer feel sad. Just meditate on the things happening in this world and look deep and realize the truth, and you will come out unabashed, nonchalant , Stoic and unflinching like the TRP lords and admins in here have become (for them this way of thinking has become natural).

If you are sad about why women are not feeling any guilt in slutting around and not saving their virginity for a good guy, then i have to say , concept of morality is introduced by men and society. Its this concept of morality that does makes them feel guilty (its not thus an innate Quality; cucking to have a beta raise an alpha's child is evolutionary behaviour since prehistoric time) . But they bypass this guilt Using their own mental gymnastics and hamstering methods to convince themselves that they are right even if they did whatever is considered wrong by society' s standards . For e.g. if a married woman has sex with another Alpha guy , then she will play mental gymnastics and tell herself "Well, my husband wasn't satisfying me sexually. Its his job and thus its his fault. I am quite correct in what I did thus".

If women are left to their own free will, they will become just like what western women have become. That means, all this behaviour that Women show is their true nature, cause isnt freedom and emancipation what western women got? You can't change their innate nature.

You can't fight biology. You may get a woman who is a good person and represses her biological instants , or You may get a woman who doesnt mind cheating on You, or doesnt think of it as wrong, and thus wont repress her biological instincts. Thats all.

To be honest, it seems like There isnt any need to love a woman To enjoy them (its the same whether it be a wife, gf or plate), (knowledge or lack of it of her AWALTish behaviour shouldn't change this thinking too), just live without thinking of women, and enjoy the objective things you get out of them. One can do so provided he really gets the bigger picture.

Xiphos462 · 2017-06-22T14:49:04+00:00

Sorry man.

The 4k ring, you might get $500-1250 for it. diamonds aren't rare.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-06-22T16:04:23+00:00

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS!!

You dodged a massive bullet, private. Good thing she ended it and didn't marry you then proceed to cuck you then divorce you for am your pension and benefits and possessions. You dodged a bullet. Learn this lesson: DO NOT GET MARRIED EVER!! Worse yet, DO NOT GET MARRIED IF YOURE ACTIVE DUTY MILITARY!! Your doged a MASSIVE bullet.
Understand that this girl had been feeding you lies from the start and was cheating on you the whole time before u even deployed. She doesn't have any respect for you a s a man, therefore you can't have respect for her either because she's a hoe. Abandon all false dream you had with her, abandon any hope of getting her back, abandon the whole fairy tale ideal. Its over and it's for the best.
Your next course of action is to rid of her completely from your life. Delete her and her closest friends off your social media (Do not give her any avenue to snoop into your life), and I mean ALL your social media. Stop texting and contacting her until you get back home. Do not try to talk about your feelings ("Baby but why???" or "I wish I had waited..." or any of that beta cuck nonsense). From now on you will behave like a stoic man, a man that Not even a thunderstorm can affect his steel temperament. Once you get home, you will instruct a friend to go deliver her cat and ALL possessions of her that you might still have. Don't do it yourself. Do not give her the honor of being in your presence. Forget the rent money as well, do not even bring it up. Don't bother trying to get it back, you'll just drag this shit for no reason. A ring and something money is a small price to pay compared to the military's who get massively ducked out of their pension and possessions following a wild divorce tape. As of right now she is sewage gutter trash to you. Hand over all her shit so she has nothing to contact you for, or nothing to paint you as a bad guy for. Do not sell her your old phone and do not give her any fucking mixtape. Her contacting you about all these things is her trying to make you believe that the way she treated you was normal. Like it's no big deal, she can cheat on you and leave you during deployment and engagement, while still reaping the benefits of talking to you as if nothing happened. Do not give this bitch any of that satisfaction whatsoever.
You get home, call up a real good friend, pack all her shit in a box, no mixtape or old phone of yours, and instruct your friend to contact her and deliver it. Your communications with this hoe are over.
Pawn the ring and use all that money on self improvement. Now go lift, pick up the following books: Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, The Rational Make by Rollo Tomassi, and No More Mr Nice Guy. And be sure to update is every step of the way.

rpjordan · 2017-06-22T13:50:18+00:00

Exactly what Ceramic-Fish said.

My Ex burnt me the same way bro. They say they are there for you but I found out the hard way it's complete bullshit. Since I went cold turkey on her she's become the one calling to 'see how I am' it's all about them trying to fuck with your emotions.

Things get better, even though it can be impossible to see it now in the heat of the moment.

iAMTinman_Dealwithit · 2017-06-22T16:04:15+00:00

Cut all losses. The bitch is dead to you.

Skurmish · 2017-06-22T16:13:12+00:00

She's only trying to friend zone you in case she needs you. Sounds exactly like my ex. Your only logical action is to firewall her completely, as everyone else seems to have suggested already. Do not communicate with her. At all. Move on. Anything less will result in many, many regrets.

SkorchZang · 2017-06-22T16:44:23+00:00

Biggest bit of advice I have you're not going to like.

She isn't doing this "to you" because she is some kind of broken, evil, or especially crazy bitch. She's simply doing it because it's a bitch thing, the thing they all do. Not even doing it "to you", you're not on the radar in that vindictive or evil sense. It's just what they all do, it's like menstruating. It's not talked about much, since it's pretty fuckin' ugly, granted. But nothing is wrong with her.

Only your grand expectations that she wouldn't menstruate on you were wrong. No one ever explained the nature of woman to you, otherwise you would know better and never in a million years would you stick your foot into that bear trap like that. The key thing is that it's not about you personally, it's like gravity or tectonic plates moving around, a female force of nature. You don't even need to go mess up new guy or to think about what a perfect love you lost, since she never meant it as an insult. Poor bastard new guy is worse off than you now, and you know it. The exact same shit, same force of nature, will happen to him.

It's a miserable time right now, but in due course you learn. You start taking it with a big smile like a champ. The other crucial advice is pretty obvious, under no circumstances take her back. You can fuck her if she throws herself at you, but never roll it back and go exclusive again with this particular girl.

Actanonverba11 · 2017-06-22T17:03:39+00:00

Why do our servicemen keep getting engaged and married before they're deployed? There's so many stories of military wives cheating on their husbands while they're gone.You dodged a bullet. She could have married then divorce-raped you. Or tried to cuck you.

Sell the ring and be safe.

Masonstormborn · 2017-06-22T17:28:25+00:00

My Dear friend

First of all she has no idea of what are you going through, even now, in these harsh moments she lies, she lies and has no shame on it. I am terribly sorry for what is going on but i will tell you what i believe, she used you as long as you were there for her, when you embark she missed her "safe spot" basically she missed her donor, sorry pal, that is what she though you were. A puny donor and nothing more. Furthermore, she has no shame to admit that she dates somebody else and she move to his house along with his fellow roomates ? What the hell... that sounds porn to me. Damn this woman has no shame at all. Yet again, we live in a free world and everyone makes his/her own choise , that is democracy. That means that you have to stand your ground , show some dignity and respect to yourself and throw her to the garbage, where she belongs. You DONT NEED her attitude, you DONT NEED her fake actions, you DONT NEED her lies. You need to chill the fuck up and take some time for yourself, sell the god damn ring and do something crazy for you. Feel free and let the pain behind, she does not worth it.

Blueseven23 · 2017-06-22T17:29:34+00:00

Brother, you're extremely lucky you didn't get hitched before you left. Last deployment had to assist one of my younger Marines through a divorce situation involving her emptying the entire house, and his bank account of all funds he had made over the course of deployment. She also immediately lawyered up and began seeking more of his pay...

username_1_1_1 · 2017-06-22T19:17:13+00:00

You didn't lose anything special, my friend. Just a well crafted illusion.

I agree, cut out any unnecessary contact with her. If you do have to communicate, show zero emotion and keep it short and to the point.

Yes, she can buy your old phone. It costs exactly the same amount as her half of the rent she owes you. Playlist? lol. Get the fuck outta here. Take the cat if you want it and then move right on with your life like she meant nothing to you because she is not worth another minute of your time.

M_I_Z_Z_O_U · 2017-06-22T16:52:41+00:00

She sounds like a piece of shit, be glad you dodged that bullet.

The best thing you can do is ignore her forever. Do not look weak to her. Also, if you're a vengeful bastard, download some shit on the phone so you can see her outgoing messages, and then sell her the phone. You'll feel alot better about her leaving you once you see what kind of person she truly is.

Origami84 · 2017-06-22T17:14:21+00:00

I dont vote for ignoring her,. Just be honest and polite: "after what happened, i want to deal with you as less as needed. We can be civil, but not friendly"

Entropy-7 · 2017-06-22T17:25:32+00:00

Re: Engagement ring.

It depends on your mindset. I bought a ring (half-carat, F-colour, solitaire cut, VSI clarity) that I wanted to give to my future wife. If you made the mistake of buying it "for her" or -heaven forbid- buying a ring that she picked out, then it would be bad ju-ju to give it to another girl. However, you will take a bath on it if you sell it back to a jeweler. You might get 80 cents on the dollar in a private sale.

salemzaid1 · 2017-06-22T17:32:01+00:00

This must be some sort of sick joke. Are you actually putting up with this fuckery? Jesus fucking christ.

leave ALL her text messages UNANSWERED. If you have an iphone, show it as READ and do not fucking answer.
if you're a TRUE FUCKING BADASS, you'll reply with "who's this?"
phone calls don't exist from this bitch. how fucking dare you even TALK to this piece of fucking trash whore...?
FUCK HER BEST FRIEND, or any friend she has. If you can get it on tape, even better.
LAUGH AND MOVE ON. this bitch is a dirty whore.

youkickmyd0g · 2017-06-22T17:41:45+00:00

Hey man, I'm over 30 and most of my recent girls have been 20-22... you'll find a new one. Don't get caught up in sunk costs. Fuck your reputation, she's a slut who abandoned a deployed man, you have the trump card. Don't worry about the shit you get back or not... stress makes your days suck, you'll miss opportunity or worse if you let it occupy your mind. Make a note to deal with it when it's in your control and let your mind be at peace until it's time. Stay safe out there buddy, thanks for serving for us.

MattyAnon · 2017-06-22T17:41:57+00:00

and wanted to go discover herself

This phrase is a euphemism for "get new cock". Now you know.

. The crazy thing is they really didn't even meet until after I left.

So she says.

I know have a $4000 ring that I don't know what to do with.

If you were planning on marrying her, she DID YOU A FAVOUR. Marriage and commitment is a terrible idea for a man. You just found this out very cheaply. You should send her flowers and a thankyou note for her honesty.

I come back, if I want to keep her cat, if she can buy my old phone, and asked me to send her the playlist I made for her when we first started dating e what day I come back,

She's trying to extract everything she can for you. She feels entitled to your help still.

On top of that she told me that if I need someone to talk to she is there for me because she knows what I'm going through..

hahaha righttttttttttt

How do I handle this situation so im the one in control? I really need some advice on how to handle this properly.

You say to her "ok, no problem". You have ZERO contact with her unless it's entirely functional "collect your cat right now". Give her NO INFORMATION including when you're back.

From now on everything you say will be used against you in ways you can't even imagine. She's moved on, you are now a problem, a difficult past, and someone to be exploited for no benefit to you.

You have zero control over her, except to fully and completely exclude her from your life.

DO NOT try and win her back, this is just putting you in a weaker and more beta position. Get her fully and completely out of your life at all costs, and get in with YOUR life.

aanarchist · 2017-06-22T17:57:45+00:00

just cut your losses bro you're losing brain cells with any more interactions with her. she's a whore and you mistook her for not a whore, so treat her the same way you would treat a prostitute after you had your way with her and gave her payment: forget you ever had dealings with her.

zeeohsixer · 2017-06-22T18:04:59+00:00

You don't realize how lucky you are my friend. No more LTRs and don't even consider marriage until you're over 30 and only if you have your heart set on kids/wife. Marriage is 50/50, pass/fail. Only play the game if you're comfortable with the odds. Personally I suggest you avoid marriage and get a good dog like a GSD.

crazitomali · 2017-06-22T18:17:07+00:00

LISTEN TO ME. NEXT THAT BITCH.

I havent even read the comments on this one yet. But im sure the community is having a field day.

imn0tg00d · 2017-06-22T18:21:01+00:00

Dude she was a dependopatamus. I was in the military so i can speak to you about women like this from experience. DO NOT GET MARRIED WHILE YOU'RE IN THE MILITARY. I know all that extra pay sounds great and all, but no marriage will last.

The only time ive ever seen it work, the guy was a cuck. His wife would fuck whoever while he was gone and he didn't care. (I've actually been with a girl with a husband like this last year, he wanted to watch)

JimiJons · 2017-06-22T18:36:51+00:00

A one month deployment? To where, Florida?

Buttslam1488 · 2017-06-22T18:41:32+00:00

Sue her in small claims for the unpaid rent. Even if she is too poor to collect from, get a judgment against this stupid bitch.

trptaway2211 · 2017-06-22T19:28:59+00:00

Go to a jewelry store (higher end, boutique, no mall place) and sell the ring. Expect to get about half back.

skittles_man · 2017-06-22T20:03:46+00:00

The only way to handle this situation so that you're in control is to completely drop her from your life. She no longer exists.

Look at the bright side, you are getting away from her for very little costs. Had you been married to her while enlisted, and she decided to pull this stunt, you'd be paying her a portion of your military pay. I'm not sure how much time you have left on you service contract, but I'd recommend not getting into an LTR or getting married while enlisted, especially if you're enlisted in a combat oriented MOS. You mind needs to be clear and free of distraction. You can't be thinking about Jody dicking your girl down back home. You owe it to your brethren to be free of that shit.

When you get back, ghost her. Fuck the cat, she can go buy a new phone, and she can burn her own Dashboard Confessional playlist. Want someone to talk to when things get difficult over seas? Talk to the doc at the base. Need someone to talk to when you come home? Go see someone at the VA.

THEDICKDEALER · 2017-06-22T11:33:46+00:00

1.Kill her cat once in your possession Viking style. 2.Sell her the phonecafter you damage it internally. 3. Hard next her after the first two steps.

Memetologist · 2017-06-22T16:22:17+00:00

Keep the cat, it will keep you company.

Title	Left while im deployed
Author	deaddecibel
Upvotes	49
Comments	92
Date	June 22, 2017 8:00 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6is3hk/left_while_im_deployed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/left-while-im-deployed.44193 https://theredarchive.com/post/44193

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