Stop Doing: With Women, Less Is Always More

Good afternoon RP.

Today I wanted to break down the process of dating and explain why less is always more when it comes to the art of seduction.

Many men on here have given feedback asking for more help on how to "be" with women, so I hope these concepts will help those of you who are trying to figure it out, or trying to understand where you're going wrong. After a while, you will begin to get a "feel" for this, the same way you learn to ride a bike. Get on the bike, try to ride a few feet, fall down, get back up, and repeat. The same goes for learning how to talk to women, and "being" with them. It's weird at first, and then you get the hang of it. You become a guy who "is" good with women.

1. Stop Talking - Want to know a universal truth that will completely change your relationships with everybody, never mind just women? Learn to shut the fuck up and listen, and listen intently. There is nothing on this planet that anybody wants to talk about more than themselves and what they're interested in. Especially women. There is nothing a woman on a date loves more than talking about herself. This dynamic is a win-win for you because by allowing her to talk, you're making her to do all the work of QUALIFYING HERSELF while you yourself are still a mystery whose intentions and feelings are unclear, which is a HUGE PART OF WHAT SPIKES A WOMAN'S ATTRACTION LEVELS. You are learning who she is by allowing her to talk and in contrast, she knows little to nothing about you. This also provides a framework for men who are introverted or awkward to prevent themselves from fucking things up by talking their way out of bed with a woman by saying stupid shit. If you create an environment where a woman can talk about herself, you are creating an environment where you will get laid.
2. Stay off the phone - One of the most common mistakes men make after getting a girl's number is immediately texting her that night or the next day and saying some dumb shit like "I had a great night last night." If you had a great night last night and you're not a complete autist, you can trust that she probably had a good night as well. When you reach out that night or the next day, all it shows a woman is that you have absolutely fuck all going on, and you're more than happy to latch onto a complete stranger in hopes your warm gooey feelings are validated because you don't have enough confidence in yourself to keep it real and say "Maybe that was something, maybe it wasn't. Either way, all good." Understand, this is the reality women face 99% of the time. They go out, some guy comes up to her, buys her drinks, they hit it off, she gives her number to him, they part ways, and IMMEDIATELY this dude starts acting like she is his One-True-Love by talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking, simply because she talked to him while she was buzzing and gave him her number. So imagine the fresh air it must be when a dude gets her number, waits a few days, and then calls her or texts and asks when she is free, sets up a date, and then doesn't say another word until they are in person. It's DIFFERENT. It's EXCITING. It's MYSTERIOUS. Who the fuck has the confidence to do some shit like that? Somebody who doesn't need validation if the date doesn't end up working out.
   
3. Stop wasting your time - Two of the most frustrating things guys new to game run into are trying to force an interaction with a woman who has little to no interest in them, and the inevitable hot/cold scenario where a woman who at first really seemed into them suddenly stops calling, texting, and bailing on dates. This is why it's so important to learn how to shut up and actively pay attention to women you are approaching and dating. They will make it pretty obvious for you whether they want to talk to you or not, and you can use this as a barometer of where their attraction for you is. What most men get wrong is trying to force interactions with women when there simply isn't anything there for them. These moments are always kind of awkward and the idea of simply walking away without saying anything else once you realize she's not into you simply doesn't appear in the list of options most men have. Once you understand that approaching women isn't about TRYING TO GET A WOMAN TO LIKE YOU, but rather FINDING OUT IF THEY COULD LIKE YOU, you can save yourself a lot of time by learning to walk away when the conversation isn't fun and easy for you. The same goes for the hot/cold women. Say you get a girl's number, wait a few days to hit her up, set a date, stay off the phone and then she calls you the day of to tell you she can't make it. If you're experienced enough to understand a test when you see one, you can simply say "I'll be at such and such at 8pm like we talked about." and just leave it at that. No further explanation needed. If she shows up or asks if you're going to pick her up first, you know it was just a test. If she doesn't, her attraction for you wasn't that high and chances are it'd be more work than it's worth to continue that line of dialogue. As I talked about in my previous article, go NO CONTACT and simply disappear. If there was some attraction left, there is a small chance she might reach out later down the road.
   

These three things should help you to get started when it comes to the process of dating. With women, you want to be scarce at first and slowly, over a series of months, start giving her more of your time as her feelings for you become stronger and more undeniable. The best way to not fuck things up is to let them do the talking, with you asking questions which allow her to elaborate further. Keep your conversations about yourself to a minimum and don't take it personally if it doesn't work out. Stay off the phone, stop texting your life story, and LET HER IMAGINATION DO THE HARD WORK FOR YOU. Women will fill in the blanks with things they love, and the small amounts of things they do earn from you will be much more valuable to her than the dude who tells his whole life story the day after they met at a bar.