Supporting Single Mothers - Beta

JP_Whoregan · 2014-04-26T00:29:44+00:00

Former step-father reporting.

Stepfathers that accept another mans offspring as their own are lauded as heroes by our society.

Can vouch for that. At first, I felt like I was doing society good. The fathers of the two kids she had (and I use the plural tense on purpose, 2 kids with 2 different dads) were deadbeats and contributing nothing. One was a pothead and the other was in prison when I married her. I saw it as: the two little girls were growing up without father figures, so I figured I'd do the Right Thing^TM and give them that. My father was also absent during my teenage and early adult years due to a divorce. I thought that maybe they wouldn't have to go through the same thing I did.

Evolutionarily they are nothing but cuckolds expending valuable resources to carry on someone else's genes.

Evolutionarily and literally. I was paying for everything. Apartment, cars, insurance, food, utilities, expenditures. She didn't work at all. Everything was coming out of my pocketbook. Not only that, but she wanted control over the pocketbook (her excuse was "to feel like I'm contributing") and I gave it to her. Happy wife makes a happy life, right?

I say literally because while I may not have concrete proof, but logic would dictate that she cheated on me. Supposedly my best friend of eight years raped her while he was living with us, and she was quiet for eight months about it. Didn't tell me because (allegedly) my friend threatened to kill her and the two kids if she told. Then there was the time she created a fake Facebook profile (again, denies it) to try to sleep with another one of my friends. When neither of the two worked out, she went out to bars with her cousin, got drunk, and went to a guy's house and his friends "sexually assaulted her". I should've realized that by how often she lies to her mother and everyone around her, she would lie to me. Her husband.

Fall in love with her child and she can take it away from you in an instant.

And use them against you whenever she feels like it. Don't want to go to the pool because you recently lost your job and need to focus on getting a new one? "Kids, tell daddy how much you want to go to the pool." Tired of taking her kids to the ~~hospital~~ emergency room once a month because she doesn't watch them at all? "What, you're just going to let her die like that? We gotta to go the hospital!" And the one that really tugged on the heartstring. "You want a divorce? You look those kids RIGHT IN THE EYE and tell them you don't want to be with them anymore!" And then during the divorce process, try to have a heart-to-heart with the kids but all they can focus on is if they get to take the Kinect and the Power Rangers game with them.

If a man adopts the offspring of another man he has now bound himself to wage slavery should the relationship fail.

This, as well as having no biological children with her, was one of the few bullets I dodged. There were lots of talks about it. Lots of talks. At first I wanted to, but then I got worried about getting fucked over in a divorce, so I didn't.

Looking at the face of her child and seeing the alpha who impregnated her. And looking over on the couch and seeing the beta bucks that supports someone else's offspring.

She talked to her ex's and their families all of the time. Even asked how the one in jail was doing. I wish I'd seen it earlier but I didn't.

Ultimately, being a white knight costed me around 8 grand in debt, dropping my 3.5 GPA to a 2.7, making a few songs irritating to me due to the memories it causes, and being overall cynical about relationships. Once you've been to the hellish landscape that is marriage and come back alive, what do you have to look forward to? How do you approach a girl with the same enthusiasm as you did before you were married?

_DiscoNinja_ · 2014-04-26T02:04:15+00:00

It's also important to note that the push is more about promoting the value of single mothers. Step-fathers in film or television are still universally mocked and reviled and typically fall into two character categories.

The Beta-bucks wimp - usually a nerdy supporting cast character. Think the lame doctor in Liar Liar or the nerdy dentist in Hung. These guys are place holders. Eventually the women leave them for the reformed Alpha who, incidentally, is the star. A common trait among these characters is that women are bored by them sexually.

The Predator - exactly the way it sounds. This guy shows up in a lot of coming-of-age films and is usually there to beat the shit out of the main character if he's a boy, or rape/molest her if she's a girl. Radio Flyer, This Boy's Life, etc.

Occasionally you'll find a vanilla step-father, like Denis Leary in Sandlot, but this only happens if the relationship with the cuckolded chump isn't integral to the plot.

Mr_Andry · 2014-04-26T06:46:39+00:00

I don't really have a problem with this. If you've gotten very far into TRP you should know that most of the push of society is to get men to do things that aren't in their best interest. It is to push men to carry the weight of the world, and get crushed under it when necessary.

On the other hand, you have men who can step back and see what is happening and consciously decide not to be a part of it. Men who go against the flow. Leaders, innovators, rebels.

I'm not saying we should keep this info secret or anything. Sure, let's put the info out there so that people who want to understand society better have resources to do so. Let men make an informed decision if they are capable of seeing the truth of the world.

But the simple fact is that "heroic" is the right word. It's courageous and selfless. It's the very definition of selfless. It is volunteering to give up your own self interest to serve others. And men are genetically predisposed to see that as attractive. It's part of the male role, biologically speaking. We're more expendable than women, so when there's a problem, be it a real danger or something that is dragging society down (like a single mother) then from an objective point of view the best thing to do is throw a man at it.

The question you have to pose yourself is this: How should society as a whole seek to solve the problem? Minimize single motherhood, sure. That's a start. But there will always be single moms for one reason or another, and ideally a child should have two dedicated parental figures.

So the best solution is to encourage others to jump on that grenade. Sounds shameful? Sure is. It's the opposite of heroic. I'm not going to do it. I'm fully aware of what is in my self interest, and how hollow the word hero is. But there are plenty of other guys who will simply never see the world from my (our) perspective, because of their genetics and upbringing, and I have no problem letting them take on that burden. I'll even join the crowd calling them a hero. Doesn't cost me anything.

There are going to be people cringing at this concept. You want to be heroic and not shameful, but you also don't want to be the one becoming a wage slave to somebody else's progeny. So you seek to change the definition of the word hero. That's pathetic. That's something a feminist would do, changing the definition of a word. A real individualist rises above petty labels. Let other men be seen as heroes, either in battle or in societal function. No skin off my nose. I'm above that. I see it for what it is. A motivator for somebody who doesn't see the big picture. They can have it.

If you're going to be a red pill man, you have to accept that much of society will be disgusted with your opinions, even while subconsciously lauding you and rewarding you for letting scorn and hate wash over you unaffected.

tl;dr - Men who are aware of their own self interests won't be sucked into servitude for single mothers. Men who seek the praise of society are welcome to it, and praise seekers deserve such fates.

JP_Whoregan · 2014-04-26T07:46:27+00:00

Why are these threads still bubbling to the top of TRP? This shit is OBVIOUS: Red. Pill. Men. Do. NOT. Cuckold. Other. Men's. Babies.

PERIOD.

While you may be doing society a favor by preventing a future thug from becoming a real thug, you are doing yourself NO FAVORS. She FUCKED ANOTHER MAN and had his baby. HELLO, MCFLY!?!?!?!?! I know there are betas waiting around the corner of every dating site to cuckold another man's baby, but I swear to Christ, i will never be one of them, EVER AGAIN.

EDIT: Source: I did this shit for four years. But come test me anyways, feminists.

dan_fletcher · 2014-04-26T13:57:43+00:00

Most troubling of all? You can avoid single moms like the plague and you'll still end up footing the bill for their them when the tax man cometh.

The government forces you at gunpoint to pay for other men's bastard spawn.

GregorClegane7 · 2014-04-26T04:12:01+00:00

I shed a tear every time I see a white couple with a black kid

animea90 · 2014-04-26T02:06:42+00:00

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vengefully_yours · 2014-04-26T17:56:21+00:00

Its not always an alpha that knocks up some chick. A lucky beta, loser omega that has some alpha similarities can get laid and knock up a bunch of women. Women can't tell the difference between a high value alpha male, and a loser with so many issues and addictions that he honestly only will ever care about himself, but is nowhere near high value. More than likely, he has no idea why women are easy, but how fucked up and utterly worthless he is attracts them the same as a many with many options.

While it is stupid to submit to a single mother, provide for her, and work your ass off to repair the consequences of her fucked up choices and lack of judgement, there is something to be said about mentoring.

Look at all the problems men have when raised by single mothers with no stable male influence in their lives. That can be minimized or mitigated but those of us who are stable, competent, and worthy role models. I'm not saying marry the mother, adopt the kid, or give her all your hard earned resources, not even close. But from time to time, you will meet these young fatherless males who need someone like you in his life. He needs the example so he doesn't become a worthless piece of shit, or a freely loser that ends up being a sponge on society.

I have helped three young men who had absentee fathers, and one had an absolutely horrid mother so he was raised by his grandmother. No I didn't fuck his grandma and sure as fuck not his mother, but I was there for him from age 13 to 20 when he moved. He learned a better way to fit into society, a valuable skill set, and was well on his way to becoming a man. He would come to my shop to work on cars and learn that. He spent time with me playing video games and doing other things his dad should have done with him. He was incredibly annoying at the start, but go it better as he learned how to function as an adult male.

One of my plates is a single mother with a three year old. I help her a little and enjoy spending time with her kid. He is absolutely obsessed with everything automotive, so I have a connection with him through my obsession. Yes she tries to use him to manipulate me, sure I like the kid, but I don't sit around wishing I could be his daddy so its quite ineffective. She needs me far more than I want her. As this kid grows up, I will be around as a good example for him, even if I stop fucking his mom. Its better that he turns out more like me than his father who is doing a six year stretch for his third DV conviction and uses damn near every substance known to man. The kids dad isn't an alpha, he's a loser, plain and simple.

So you might be thinking my hamster is really churning, but that's not the case. I was an NCO for years, mid forties, and I can afford to have a snot nosed brat hang out and learn discipline, enjoy structure, and to mentor him. I mentored and guided many young men who never had a father and were suddenly in my charge with peoples lives at stake. I'd much rather guide them before they are 19. You don't have to be a cuckold supporting a slut, you can be the man who helps change the cycle of single mothers swilling from the teat of society.

Its not about the mother, its about building men in spite of the influence foisted upon them. Sure, if she is hot and you can fuck her, well that's a bonus, but don't let yourself become her bitch, and always be willing to take the L graciously if the kid can benefit from hanging out with the guy who used to fuck his mom. Keep it civil, remain on good terms, and never let yourself det emotionally attached. We have big brother and mentoring programs for a reason, and that's because developing males need guidance from men who are good examples.

If you aren't in a position financially, emotionally, or physically, don't be a mentor. You have to get your own life in order, achieve something to gain confidence, and learn how to set a good example and be a competent leader. The example you set has to be a good one. You also have to have something to dangle in front of mom so she doesn't keep doing stupid shit. Sure as hell don't knock her up. You can't help anyone until you have the capacity to not need help yourself.

Its rewarding to watch a clueless kid that is socially inept morph into a productive member of society that won't fall victim to the bullshit out there. These kids need an example, and those of us in a position to be a good example can do that. If you're not a good person to emulate, don't fuck single moms, and don't have any kids of your own.

watersign · 2014-04-26T06:05:43+00:00

I agree entirely. Raising someone elses litter is despicable and wrong. Guys, don't fall for this trap. The mother/kids can easily accuse you of assaulting/molesting them and you will be in a world of pain and humiliation, not to mention expensive legal bills to defend yourself from allegations. Be smart ...avoid these women entirely.

2014-04-26T14:34:52+00:00

In my experience it often looks like step-fathers are seen as second-class citizens, men who are to be pitied, mildly suspicious of, and the kids aren't keen on them. It often looks like a "this'll have to do" sort of arrangement, hardly the stuff of solid foundations for bringing up children. But in a world where single parents are vilified (certainly here in the UK), it's better than nothing, right? You may think that, I couldn't possibly comment.

ShamanChemistry · 2014-04-26T20:35:47+00:00

yes, you are correct. however some people do succeed, there are single mothers who were left, or left a physically abusive (to their children) home. personally i wont date them, but i hate dealing in absolutes

AnotherLostCause · 2014-04-27T00:54:07+00:00

If single women had anything, a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g to offer men they MSM wouldn't have to hard sell them to a degree that would embarrass a starving used car salesman. They are OK for a pump and dump but their value ends there.

Jaereth · 2014-04-28T22:09:52+00:00

I have discouraged it and I never would do it. I've been called a shallow minded asshole for telling mommies I don't date girls with kids.

If you can do it, like if that doesn't bother you, fine! Knock yourself out. Ever since I was a young teen though I just couldn't understand how any guy does that aside from a single father.

animea90 · 2014-04-26T04:50:05+00:00

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myhairsreddit · 2014-04-26T15:40:38+00:00

I am a single mother, but I don't believe that means the man I marry has to step in as daddy. I don't believe "a good man has to love her like his own." He is not required to be a dad to my daughter just because we are in a relationship. I am her parent. I prefer it that way. I've been doing it without a partner for 6 years now, I don't need someone else to step in now. The only thing I ask is that he acknowledges her existence if we are in a relationship, as she is a human being, and my child. If a relationship develops between him and my daughter, that is their personal business and based on how they approach one another emotionally. I don't demand another man's parenting.

Aexorys · 2014-04-26T11:05:28+00:00

What if the woman is actually a widow?

Riusakii · 2014-04-26T17:21:09+00:00

Remember that every choice you make is on you. Before you start dating, you need to decide what it is that you want. If you don't want a woman who has kids then don't date them. If you do because she may be super hot and you are willing to go against what you really want is a BAD way to go.

It's 100% ok to have her as a fuck buddy while you date other women.

As a man you have to decide what you want and go out and look for it. What these men end up doing is submitting to their fears and settling.

Manuel_S · 2014-04-26T23:26:49+00:00

Every child you raise from some other man, is one less of your own you can raise - support.

A man who raises children of somebody else and not one of his may be called a "hero" by the mothers, relieved that somebody else is bucking in, but he's just killed his one shot at posterity.

Sometimes that is the end of an entire family line...

Budman17r · 2014-04-27T02:14:32+00:00

What about single dad's how the hell are we supposed to date then. Single dad of 2 u have custody I currently have a live in gf with her own kids

KandPol · 2014-04-27T05:19:49+00:00

I could support it if her husband was killed.

Like say a soldier getting sniped in war, or a firefighter or cop dying in the line of duty. I guess if he died at all.

Divorced though I am not too keen on that one and here is why.

I would have trouble with the idea this person was not compatible enough with someone they swore an oath to the death on their most sacred held religious beliefs. "Till death do us part" doesn't conform with "I get the house and half the shit". Especially for most women who are religious to swear this oath in front of their religious leader and not mean it.

Where would I be fitting in after something like that?

It would be just as easy if not easier to give up and say "fuck it I want to divorce and get your possessions" after a second time around.

No single/divorced moms for me thanks (except for strippers, because I respect their choice of profession.)

2014-04-26T22:08:01+00:00

I would rather raise someone else's kid than have one of my own. I have no grand need to duplicate. The world has been here a LONG time and lots of greater men have come and gone. Having a spawn of my own isn't going to mean anything to the world.

By not having children, thousands of descendants will never exist; so if the world turns to absolute shit (which we are heading for fast--financial collapse, war, globalism, disease) my heirs will never exist to suffer. We get a short time on this planet and we have to watch ourselves slowly die.

The world/this reality is just not good enough for me to create life in it.

I wouldn't mind experiencing raising children as long as they were not my own (although I'd probably rather just date someone without kids).

animea90 · 2014-04-26T03:04:21+00:00

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Gilly96 · 2014-04-26T12:01:03+00:00

There are some exceptions... For example my dad, he met my mother in their mid twenties and she had a kid when they met. My dad also had 2 other kids with an ex wife. Anyway they've been married now for almost 20 years and have had 2 kids.

Title	Supporting Single Mothers - Beta
Author	The_BitterTruth
Upvotes	77
Comments	110
Date	April 25, 2014 11:11 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/23zpg3/supporting_single_mothers_beta/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/supporting-single-mothers-beta.14618 https://theredarchive.com/post/14618

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