Terrible at on the spot comebacks/shutting down bullies.

cherrypoptart27 · 2014-08-24T17:31:27+00:00

Getting good at comebacks is a lot like lifting. You have to exercise your "comeback muscles" to get good at it and it's not an instant process.

Some good first steps are recognizing patterns in what people make fun of you for and having a canned response and then building from there. Another way to learn is to watch how stand up comedians handle hecklers or even when they initiate "crowd work" off the cuff. Learn by watching the best.

[deleted] · 2014-08-24T22:10:09+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sir_wankalot_here · 2014-08-24T19:23:32+00:00

Why the fuck would some douchebag just start messing with you like that unless he was bluepill as fuck? I've seen it a thousand times when I was in the military. A lot of tough guys act like they are alpha but when they get home to their wives they are supplicant little sheep. Sounds to me like this guy was feeling a little down about his own SMV and wanted to try and bring it up by picking on someone.

One of the ways I believe we are conditioned by Hollywood and by society is to get that witty comeback in. Someone messes with us or says something stupid and we always want to have that perfect, satisfying comeback that makes everyone around go, "ooh, burn!" and supposedly will make every woman want to go home with us.

But that's all Hollywood. When you see that in a movie or TV show, it's because some screenwriter had time to sit down and think about what the character was going to say, and think about the other character's response, etc. In real life it's not going to work nine times out of ten.

Now, I'm a pretty big guy so people don't tend to just randomly start picking on me. But my go to response, the way I keep frame in such situations, is not to say anything but to just look at them like they were an alien from Mars. I just furrow my brow and STFU. They usually get even more nervous and start trying to fill in the "dead air" by running their mouth a bit more. It usually ends up being awkward for them and they go away.

But that's one tactic of many you can use. Like with game, it's all about keeping your frame. Some guy wants to start static, don't get drawn into his frame. You likely don't have to worry about actual physical conflict because when a guy is busting your balls like that he's trying to get you to swing first...to get drawn into his frame.

If he does swing...defend yourself! But he usually won't so just remember that he is a beta child who is beneath you and it's all good.

BrassBody · 2014-08-24T20:27:00+00:00

If all else fails, force your brain to agree and amplify, like with a woman.

Him: "why you staring at me?"

You: "Fuck yeah I'm staring at you. You're big fat and ugly, ever heard of pilates?"

Him: "you think you can take me in a fight."

You: "Hell no, you have like 60 pounds on me are you fucking kidding me?"

[deleted] · 2014-08-24T16:40:06+00:00

Take improv classes and lift if you're actually serious about fixing this problem.

CheesyWeiner · 2014-08-24T15:50:30+00:00

You tried to intimidate a guy that was bigger than you?

At your height and weight you arr a twig. You couldn't intimidate a kitten.

Your best move

tehwankingwalruses · 2014-08-24T16:17:33+00:00

I am pretty witty and "colorful" with my language. However even I have moments where I got nothing. Usually I just laugh. Laugh like its a good joke, and say that was a good story man, can you tell it again.

fl3wy · 2014-08-24T17:03:20+00:00

I've been in situations like this several times, and the first few times I handled it wrong. But at a certain day this happened:

I was working at the office of the company (I was an intern) and I was playing with an office item which I thought was for common use. It was a cheap thing and I wasn't causing damage, but still this really big muscled coworker came at me, and angrily asked: "Why are you using MY office supplies". (It was in no way bothering him, this was purely for dominance.) I responded: "Is there a reason why I shouldn't?" Then he got really angry, started cursing and said: "because they're MINE!". Then I said, very calmly: "Are you angry?". To which he mumbled: "Yes." I casually answered "oh" and continued working.

A lot of times before I had got it wrong, but this time I got it right (more or less by accident), and I felt good about how I handled this. I learned these things:

Don't answer the question.
A question is a request for a reply, and if you give it, you're being submissive.

Note how in my example I completely ignored the question, and asked a counter question. That is way easier than coming up with a smart response. Now the other person has to answer, which means that you have taken control of the conversation.

In your example, the guy came to you asking "why you staring at me?" you answered the question by denying that you stared at him. The next time somebody comes up to you and asks something, ignore the question and ask a counter question: "why are you harassing me?" or just say: "get lost, I don't want to talk to you".

Don't be intimidated by physique.
No matter how big he is, he can't attack you. That's illegal and means a whole lot of trouble for him. So even if a really big guy is angry at you, stay very calm. It means you're in control of yourself and he has no power over you.

Don't worry about this encounter too much. You get really good at handling these things after it happened to you once or twice. Don't be frustrated and learn from it.

MikeyCSGO · 2014-08-24T16:19:50+00:00

Dude you need to put on muscle. 6'0 142? my girlfriend could kick your ass. If anyone can beat you up no one is going to respect you.

Eat and lift and i promise no one will start shit with you if hit 170lbs or higher

widec · 2014-08-24T17:45:56+00:00

Most bullies will go after an easy target. Since you responded poorly initially, he believes he found one. The two actions I take to stop bullies are outsmarting them or straight up kicking their ass. Of course since we're adults now, the latter shouldn't be used as there can be legal consequences.

In your case, it would have been best to disarm, possibly confuse them. Starting off with something like "You're just imagining things man, no one's staring at you". If he pushes the topic, stay firm with your stance, say he's just getting paranoid and make him question himself. He tries to start beef, doesn't get it, moves on to the next target.

higgns1 · 2014-08-24T18:08:05+00:00

Long term solution: Learn to fight and be ruthless when defending yourself. There are ways to fight opponents way stronger than yourself. On that same note get stronger.

The confidence of knowing that you can take someone will cause that you will rarely get chosen as a 'weak target' in the first place.

johnnygeeksheek · 2014-08-24T18:09:22+00:00

Does anyone have some links or tips on Amogging? I'm personally fed up with this sort of shit too. I was about to start a post in /r/asktrp about it. I can't take my LTR out anywhere without even the waiter trying to Amogg me and flirt with her.

drrrrrr · 2014-08-24T19:14:33+00:00

Stop trying to intellectually outjoust people and have "snazzy" comebacks. That is beta behavior - it stems from wanting the group watching to think you are cool. Stop caring about having the witty comeback or zinger - this is what "snark" sites such as Jezebel or TBP are experts at. They always cram whatever they are saying full of these tryhard attempts at being funny and mocking in a "ohhh burn" type of way - it is a form of approval seeking.

Just say whatever, show that you aren't taking his shit seriously enough to formulate a real response. This is what most alphas do if you notice - when you try to tool on them, they don't tool back if you're not one of their bros with whom they have that goofing relationship, they just don't really respond and make you feel silly for trying. They just don't even try to say anything witty - "yeah cool dude. Anyway..." works fine. My favorite is to look at them slowly, look away, and keep talking to someone else.

Lift weights and become secure with conflict. Do boxing or MMA or some form of bodily competition, so you get comfortable with remaining clear in escalating situations. This calmness is what allows you to have a presence that people don't call out or shit test (and the muscle mass helps). These guys don't have to try to intimidate people (although some of the dickhole types will try) - when you are big and comfortable with conflict, someone will be a dick to you, realize you are completely unfazed, and then feel kinda sheepish and back down.

There's no shortcut to projecting this image. You have to have actually been in fights to have it - go pick a real boxing gym / dojo.

redditor1255 · 2014-08-24T19:22:48+00:00

Dont say shit. Just look them in the eyes and wait until they do something.

NikolaTeslaMGTOW · 2014-08-24T20:25:00+00:00

So..... getting in fights is for idiots. What if you get stabbed or shot? What if you go to jail/prison? Is it really worth it. Being red pill doesn't mean being an idiot who gets into fights. Try to disarm situations rather than escalate.

FallenHighSchoolJock · 2014-08-24T17:33:09+00:00

Play an online multiplayer video game. Get a headset. It's only your voices that can be seen, so this is a good practicing ground. Purposely start fights with people. You'll probably get owned and feel embarrassed, but if you keep it up you'll learn how to quickly respond in arguments and use confidence to shut down your opponent.

I think this is something takes practice to be good at.

Maaahoney · 2014-08-24T16:45:50+00:00

The other night some bitch at a bar shit tested me and I fell for it. She asked me how my red bull was (I was obviously drinking a whiskey).

I fucking fell into her frame and said "It's not a red bull but it's good." I was so pissed at myself because two seconds later I realized I should have said "It's good, how's your gonorrhea/venereal disease?" or something like that. "Just take antibiotics for the next 3-4 weeks and you should be okay..."

Anyway, you get better at these things with time when you actually focus on improving your wit and comebacks. The best thing you can do is BE ON GUARD at all times and start to expect the unexpected.

Edit: I should say that this was beyond a shit test. It was more like some girl trying to talk shit to me for no reason. She was testing me by looking for a reaction, but in a negative way (yelling at me across a bar).

[deleted] · 2014-08-24T17:58:35+00:00

Watch the entire series of The Thick of It and fill your brain with insults.

IllimitableMan · 2014-08-24T18:02:24+00:00

So your problem is slow wit. Watch more stand-up comedy to develop wit/an eye for wit and metaphor. There are lot of reformed betas/omegas who found themselves through humour and stand-up don't underestimate the power of comedy THERE'S A LOT of power in being able to make people laugh and defend yourself from psychological attacks whilst you're at it. The power of the joker (aptly referred to as "the court jester") is even mentioned in the 48. Shit in comedy culture rebutting hecklers is part of the program if you're no good at that then you will never be a respected comedian. It's the same with rappers and rap battles. Wit is like education it cannot be stolen from you, develop it and weaponise it. Alongside that if you feel lethargic no matter how witty you are you will be slow and sluggish. Workout to ensure your energy levels and confidence stay up. Nothing short of that is going to fix your predicamentary ineptitude.

As for the guy in your face don't be afraid to escalate to violence if wit fails, if you try to diffuse situations without being funny you communicate you're ripe for robbery/bullying. Women don't understand this because most men don't believe in hurting women (but rather these women are histrionic over the mere idea of it) but these same men are not beyond trying to fuck with you because being a man they see you as fair game. White knights won't help you either.

Sometimes being funny isn't enough either, the guy has already pre-determined he's in the mood for some good old fashioned violence. A guy won't fuck with a guy who's willing to defend himself don't listen to all that effeminate crap about violence always being wrong, violence and the selective use of force always had a time and a place and women encourage it via proxy violence (not going onto that tangent here as it doesn't apply to your post.) If violence had no place then we wouldn't have a police force or military. Nobody is above a good uppercut and if they think they are and want to create problems with you it's time you introduce shock and awe to their psyche. Most people with sharp words lack a mean punch. Especially in today's pussified society. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself when all else fails, your dignity is worth more than the tolerance of mockery.

Backing down doesn't make you the better man it makes you avoidant and tolerant of insults to your honour in the desperation to escape conflict. On the flip side if someone is trying to bait you into embarrassing yourself/get you to be violent so they can get you in a trap/use it as leverage, don't fall for the bait. There's a fine line to walk here in all these shades of orgasm inducing grey but use your instinct. If you're in a dark alleyway fight or run, if you're in a hotel or social event you're going to have to be more passive aggressive/witty/aloof etc.

varisforge · 2014-08-24T18:09:53+00:00

Winston Churchill was noted as being amazing with snappy comebacks and as an amazing orator, but in reality he was just like you, where he was easily confounded when put on the spot.

He compensated by practicing in advance, learning great phrases and such so that when he was in a tight spot, he had something to fall back on.

I agree with the others. Take some improv classes. Read comedy books. Practice agreeing and amplifying. It will come naturally after a few months of practicing. It's a skill like any other. If you study it, you will learn it.

Are you up to the challenge?

cheesymold · 2014-08-24T19:04:32+00:00

Mma training and sparring. I've never lost a fight. Only people who have ever got in my face are bigger bullies and they're the aggressors. You will have greatly improved confidence but they're will always be ragey douchebags who want to shit test your confidence from my exp.

nataliieportman · 2014-08-24T19:19:32+00:00

I always agree with others when they down play me.

"You're a faggot" "Yea man, you're so right. I love dick"

"You're weird" "Totally man, I'm fucking mental"

You get the point. They're usually too dumb to realize they're being fucked with.

trpMilo · 2014-08-24T19:53:27+00:00

You don't need to be witty here. This guy is breaking social protocol for no reason, but trust me he isn't going to hit you. Just give him an eyebrow frown and a flabbergasted "what?" to give him a chance to realize he's being an asshole. Your problem here is you accepted his framing of the situation, that you two were equals and you were maybe staring at him. No, you're volunteering at a booth and he's some random guy at this event who's had too much to drink. By actually answering his question, it makes it seem like you were actually staring at him and are now nervous about it, you see? If you hadn't even noticed him, you'd be very confused when he approached you. That's why a "what?" works very well here. Also then he either has to repeat or explain himself, either way it takes some steam out of him and gets the gears going in his head that he's being dumb

FaithfulJinn · 2014-08-24T19:59:09+00:00

6'0 and 142 lbs?

Your problem is not comebacks. Your problem is you have the body of a starving child in Uganda. Of course bullies are gonna pounce on an easy target.

soopad00pa · 2014-08-24T20:30:04+00:00

A decent stop gap measure is getting a good smirk going. Bruce Willis does a pretty good eyebrow lift, mouth twist thing that communicates a lot of bemused disdain without having to try and be witty.

Not saying to skip developing your verbal skills, but you can get a lot done with a dismissive facial expression and relaxed body language.

mordanus · 2014-08-24T20:31:39+00:00

(I am 6'0 142 Lbs)

Lift more and you won't have to put up with bullies shit anymore.

projectself · 2014-08-24T21:07:30+00:00

bar bullshit is bar bullshit.. laugh and shake it off. sometimes, the vibe is wrong because it's not bullshit, and the guy is disrespecting you. never allow anyone to disrespect you, for any reason. react with body language and frame, words if needed if you can insult him with a straight face and complete calm, and swift immediate violence when called for.

never let an interaction between you and an aggressor be about or because of a woman, your interaction with him is 100% between you and him.

use security if you can, call police if appropriate, or just deal with immediately when appropriate.

elchoma90 · 2014-08-24T21:50:05+00:00

It's easy to make fun of fatties.

"why are you staring at me?"

"I couldn't help but notice you boobs... Nice"

I wouldn't waste any breath on these people anyway. What I like to do is stand my ground, frown and look them in the eye until they start feeling awkward. I'm 6'4 200lbs though, I think that helps this tactic work I can't guarantee results if you are shorter than the bully.

FallenHighSchoolJock · 2014-08-24T22:15:56+00:00

It's because you have a high inhibitions personality from being a skinny kid with little physical presence. You're too worried about what people are going to think about what you have to say and you wind up overthinking it. You know how when you're with your close friends and family and stuff just comes out because you aren't afraid of being judged? Think about the stuff you say and ask yourself, would you be comfortable saying that to an acquaintance? The answer is probably no right? But listen to people's conversations out on the street or in bars, they are mostly talking bullshit and rarely say anything of merit, it's mostly how they say it. For confident, good looking, extroverted people the answer to that question is yes. Did you see the Bisping fight yesterday? He slayed the fat incel Asian with a fancy knee and went on to call out his boss. When he was on the mic you couldn't shut him up due to the excitement and confidence of a victory lowering his inhibitions. Now he's going to have an aesthetic showdown with the American Luke Rockhold.

smokingmonkey420 · 2014-08-25T00:12:30+00:00

You don't always need to have a response. Silence works wonders sometimes. Words only affect you if you let them.

xaphody · 2014-08-25T00:25:14+00:00

I have always found that guys that jump straight to "lets take this outside" are bluffing especially when they are overly vocal about it. Call his bluff but be prepared to fight anyhow. At the very least he goes outside and you just tell security to not let him back in.

[deleted] · 2014-08-25T00:41:07+00:00

Heres the thing if someone is being a dick to you call them out on it.

If you want someone to bugger off tell them to bugger off.

The reason you failed is because you weren't doing what you wanted and instead trying to think of a witty comeback.

You should have just said "Man I am trying to enjoy the concert and really couldn't be bothered with your bullshit, I don't know why your being and asshole but just stop it" Done and sorted, that's at the end of the day is what you wanted and you didn't need to think about it.

kanaduhisfruityeh · 2014-08-24T16:12:22+00:00

Don't talk back, just punch him in the face. Talking is what bitches do.

frantonio · 2014-08-24T19:26:24+00:00

him: why are you staring at me?

you: do you even lift?

him: you think you can take me in a fight?

you: do you even lift?

Title	Terrible at on the spot comebacks/shutting down bullies.
Author	Gotmilkyy
Upvotes	16
Comments	76
Date	August 24, 2014 3:43 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2eg7la/terrible_at_on_the_spot_comebacksshutting_down/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/terrible-at-on-the-spot-comebacksshutting-down.19948 https://theredarchive.com/post/19948

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