"That's not the Point"

Summary: This is quick and dirty tip to use when propositioning women. It’s a small adjustment but it’s worked some god damn wonders in my time using it so I thought I would share.

Here’s a classic scenario: You’ve established initial rapport with a woman (or man for our gay RPers). You’re looking to close with plans this Thursday night.

You: “Hey want to do X and Y Thursday?”

Her: “No I can’t make it because of Z”

So let’s stop here for a moment. The individual in question here could actually have time constraints on Thursday night. Or it could be an intentional shit test. Either way, as the instigator it doesn’t leave you with many avenues to get the job done while maintaining frame.

“How about Friday” could work, but if not than you’re in exactly the same (if not slightly worse) predicament you were a moment ago. “When are you free this week” can be a better alternative, but you will lose some frame by actively trying to work around her schedule. Other variations of “That’s alright/another time” are safe drop backs but generally ineffectual. Ideally, what you want to happen is for that individual to counter with a time and place that works for them. This can be done pretty easily:

Her: “I can’t make it Thursday because of Z”

You: [level of amused mastery] “You know that’s not the point”.

This line accomplishes a few things (1) It simultaneously deflects and escalates while affirming your interest (2) It subtly lets her know that you’re not going to do all the heavy lifting here. If she wants the privilege of your company she better respond with a time that works for her.

Her: “Okay, im free Sunday night!”

You: “Sunday night works.”

Lessons Learned: Congratulations, you set up a meet on Sunday with minimal effort (you smooth devil you). Notice that this line can be used for more than just setting up dates though. “That’s not the point” is a short and effectual statement that can be used to deflect a variety of hamster obstacles in a few words. Enjoy.

Edit: Oscar if you’re reading this you’re a cunt. Thanks for the wine.

Edit 2: Updated to comply with /u/bsutansalt Thread Format Requirements