This'll be a quick, easy read, but I think many of you will relate. I had an interesting experience very recently that revealed something about myself, and more broadly about how the greatest battle for self-improvement is within.

Even before discovering TRP, I've always been a fairly confident guy. I've had decent success with women – I'm no Chad, but I wouldn't call myself a slouch in the girls department either. But fairly recently I cut most of my baby fat down, increased muscularity, and adopted a much more clear eyed, TRP mindset. All of those factors have resulted in my getting significantly more IOIs from women of all kinds, and I won't lie, it's been extremely life-affirming. But of course there's a catch. I very much remain a work in progress.

I was leaving the gym recently, on foot, having just finished lifting. With the weather being warm, I was in a form-fitting workout shirt and shorts, filled with endorphins, walking in big strides as I continued listening to music on my earphones.

In front of me I see a girl, coming my way. I know there's a significant amount of SMV "inflation" around here when it comes to girls, but this chick was legitimately a solid 9. Possibly 10 if she had been dolled up, but she looked like she was coming from work.

The distance between us closes, and once she's about 20 or so feet away I look at her face again and we lock eyes. Then she smiles – that mischievous little grin a hot girl makes when she acknowledges someone she knows within a millisecond – as all girls do – she would have sex with. With the music still pumping in my ears, feeling on top of the world I...

Immediately looked away. She passed and absolutely nothing came of it. Sure, it felt good to get that look, but a little part of me died that I had so quickly thrown away a golden opportunity.

I know you've all been there. This is the paradox posed by improving your looks, your sex appeal, and to some degree your outward "confidence," but still insecurities and doubts from your former self haunt you, pull you back.

Sure, I could tell myself that I simply wasn't in the mode. I was distracted by my music, caught off guard by her look, whatever. But at the end of the day that's bullshit. I shot myself in the foot, plain and simple, for no reason other than I was afraid. Still afraid of rejection from a girl who I would have considered out of my league in my younger years. Still afraid of taking that leap, even when I had an invitation staring right at me.

The lesson, of course, is this: You can lift all you want, get ripped, get hot style, learn the body language and techniques of meeting girls, but little of that matters if you're still weak deep down inside. If you still haven't truly internalized that you can do this shit.

I've got more work to do. This time on my mind.