When you break up with a girl NEVER give them "closure"

lanky32 · 2016-06-20T06:05:39+00:00

I would ghost a woman if she cheated one me or was disrespectful to me. If the woman was nice to me throughout the relationship and wanted exclusivity with me, I would give her closure. There is no point in giving such a woman a psychological scar.

smokecheck1976 · 2016-06-20T05:04:16+00:00

I've never had a problem with this. I've given the "I'm not really ready for a relationship right now speech." the "You deserve someone different from me speech" the "Your a good person, just not the right person for me, speech".

It is possible to leave a relationship on good terms. I've even had women that knew that there was no chance of a continued relationship still going out for drinks and still hopping in my bed until a new guy came along, at which point, I wish them well.

I wonder at the reasoning of deliberately trying to cause harm. It isn't good behavior and it isn't alpha behavior.

DRMMR76 · 2016-06-20T03:44:24+00:00

The only thing I'll add to this is make sure your ducks are in a row and you're in a tactically sound position before you ghost a soon-to-be-ex. A spurned woman will turn to scorched earth warfare against you. Make sure your online passwords are changed. Consider changing your locks. Call your cell service and have her number blocked by them if they'll do it. Be the first to set the narrative with any mutual friends or acquaintances. Get a fucking security camera or even a USB webcam pointed out your window set to record where you park your car. Make sure any valuables, family heirlooms, property with sentimental value (old letterman jackets and things of that nature) that you want to keep are in your possession.

Operate off the assumption that when she realizes you're ghosting her, she will attack every aspect of your life she can. Your emotions, your finances, your relationships with friends, family, and coworkers, your job, your property, etc. If she doesn't, good for you. If she does and you didn't prepare for it before dropping the bomb, you're an idiot.

princepeanutbutter · 2016-06-20T04:49:21+00:00

Never say never. If a woman has been overall a good plate or LTR I will give them closure. What kind of value do I offer women if I can't leave them the opportunity for the best relationship (exclusive or otherwise) they ever had? Why leave a trail of tears? And that type of SMV - that type of SMV that isn't readily apparent but you know is there - goes a long way towards being the prize and having abundance mentality.

Granted, most plates don't break cleanly and they don't deserve closure. But I've had plates do all the right things, make the move to exclusivity, and get rejected (by me). I don't see any reason to do that harshly.

AnonymousAndLovinIt · 2016-06-20T04:44:18+00:00

"It also leaves a nice psychological scar."

I understand cutting my losses,.but why is this a plus?

rumovoice · 2016-06-20T08:16:33+00:00

It also leaves a nice psychological scar.

Posts like this make people think that TRP is just a bunch of neckbeard marginals. Why would you ever enjoy hurting other people?

Jeanwulf · 2016-06-20T09:11:04+00:00

What a dumb post lol. Pschological scars should be reserved for cheaters in a ltr or who ruined your shit.

grachuss · 2016-06-20T05:22:19+00:00

I ghosted my last serious GF from my blue pill days after she cheated on me. I was just too hurt to talk to her anymore.

Two years later her friend sees me on the street, and tells me I made her go crazy, ya right lol. best decision I ever made in that relationship.

Scrumdidilyumptious · 2016-06-20T22:00:29+00:00

So you want to psychologically scar one of your fellow human beings? And you call yourself a man?

walking_ape · 2016-06-20T06:37:24+00:00

Eh, I don't know about that. If you can make it easier on the other person when you walk away, while maintaining your frame, there's no reason not to do it.

It's only an issue if your frame gets broken. Or if the other person is broken beyond repair.

Deadoralive2 · 2016-06-20T14:21:18+00:00

I don't understand why so many people act offended by that "psychological scar" thing...It is obvious that the main point of the post is "Don't let them take advantage of you" and probably "Don't waste your time on female games". This is precious advice. With proper game, that closure thing can be used effectively to your advantage though.

RageLionRising · 2016-06-20T03:16:50+00:00

To the younger men out there, heed OP's advice. It is solid gold. A woman will always use "closure" or that last conversation to take a few last digs at you. NEVER tell a woman you no longer want contact. It lets her leave with the upper hand. The best way to dump a woman or teach any woman who has fucked with you is to QUICKLY FADE AWAY & GHOST. If you can't bring yourself to do that, then she has too much leverage in the relationship anyway.

FADE AWAY & GHOST is the most painful thing you can do to a woman while at the same time having the added benefit of reducing your risk. Explaining to a woman why you're breaking up is much less painful, and ten times more risky than doing a polite/civil ghost and fade away. If you tell a woman you no longer want contact just watch as she immediately goes to social media and puts you on public blast, and takes some shit you texted and tries to embarrass you.

With FADE & GHOST there's ZERO defense against it, and it has plausible deniability, too! But remember, you have to mean it. If you're using a feigned fade & ghost, she will smell it the moment you text her with more words or a slightly higher ratio of texts than she does or reply more quickly than she does. You have to mean it, and literally be willing to never speak to her again, and not give two shits.

HER: Are you GHOSTING ME??!!??? We need to talk. At least one last time.

YOU: (two days later) hey cool

HER: ???!!!?!?? wft!!!!!!!!

Zavimbe · 2016-06-20T06:58:47+00:00

Why would you advocate hurting another human being just so you can have some kind of advantage over them

bonerdude420 · 2016-06-20T05:49:34+00:00

Just be straight forward. If you're breaking up you have nothing to gain or lose by playing games. Be a decent person, be nice and respectful but be direct and honest. Ghosting or trying to hurt somebody in a breakup is a weak thing to do.

red_question · 2016-06-20T17:56:31+00:00

Mixed thoughts. One one hand, I can appreciate the desire to end a relationship on good terms; no need to burn bridges, right?

On the other hand, having been dumped, I can sympathize with the anger/pain.

One time I met a 20-yr-old at a potluck with some friends and we hit it off (I was 24 at the time, a few years out of college). I took her to dinner, did the evening out thing, and we fucked for a few weeks. Tight blonde, loved smoking and getting freaky, zero complaints from me.

But I didn't set the stage for the relationship. It was one my first 'plates', and I was just rolling with it. Any guy who regularly fucks women and is successful with them will tell you that it's not all about being a soulless alpha chad. You need to mix in comfort and direction, even in just sparing doses, to keep her invested over time.

I did not do this. We never discussed where our relationship was going, we just smoked and fucked. I just assumed she was cool with that, so it caught me by surprise one day when she asked me, as we sat on the couch, 'where I saw my life going'.

Naturally, she waited until a time when I was baked out of my mind for us to have 'The Talk', informal as it was (lesson: a girl will often wait until you are distracted to talk to you about something she feels is important, or something that might incite you somehow - she's avoiding the risk of your undivided attention. So much for a level playing field, eh?). I don't remember how I responded to her question; it didn't matter. She informed me that we could 'no longer be intimate', and proceeded to make some allusion to the fact that she was going to grad school to be a scientist, or something. The suggestion was clear - I was not in grad school. I was working full time paying off my bills. Life wasn't bad, but I definitely wasn't going to be her meal ticket. Fun fact: she even told me earlier that grandpa had paid all her tuition to undergrad. My bills were on MY back, not grandpa's. Had I not been high, I might have had the presence of mind to call her on that shit.

So she kissed me on the cheek, sweetly, and left me sitting on the couch, confused. I texted her sometime after expressing my disappointment with her thinly-veiled insult, to no real effect - she was gone. It angered me. I was angry for some time about that one, an anger compounded by her being one of my first forays into the world of casual sex.

The truth is, it ended as well as anything could have, and I got off without the damage that a crazier chick might have inflicted. But it wasn't the fact that she dumped me that upset me - it was that she felt like she needed to insult me to make herself okay with it. Closure was what she cared about, not me. Fine, really, I get that we weren't in love or anything. But that event soured my taste for the young, narcissistic blondes. They're hot, and they'll always be hot, so you'd better go in with an understanding that you will know what the undercarriage of the bus looks like when they're through with you. It will always be on you. Never them.

So, yeah, closure. Offer it if you feel it necessary. Withhold it if you don't. Just understand that more often than not, the women in your life have already decided what they're going to do when that time comes.

e: grammar

Aonaich · 2016-06-20T13:55:52+00:00

It leaves a psychological scar on her, or you?

2016-06-20T03:44:33+00:00

The only thing one owes a used bag of lubricated holes is proper disposal in the right trash receptacle, to prevent anyone from accidentally recycling it.

ecosci · 2016-06-20T23:23:07+00:00

Sounds like you have a bit of oneitis because if its a sure thing why not zero everything out because she may see theres little hope remember that women dont use logic a stupid is is a stupid does, dont even give them signs of hope kick women when their down give it all to her she will dust herself off and respect you for closure.

RealMcGonzo · 2016-06-20T04:05:02+00:00

Closure does not work because you would end up saying "I dumped your sorry ass because you got too fucking fat" or "too fucking old" or "you screamed at me too much" or "you went all starfish on the rare times we had sex." Or (hopefully) "I swung to a higher branch, this super model that is 20 years my junior." I mean, no matter how you slice it, the truth is gonna sting and you don't want to deliver that. But JFC they want closure. I had one chick, 2 or 3 dates in, almost banged her and just decided not to (seriously - just wasn't interested - so I left her there half naked). She wanted fucking closure! I weakened and gave her what I could, but JFC, three fucking dates not even and OMFG it's the end of the fucking world just cuz I don't want to see you again? Maybe a big part of that is that most beta chumps don't dump chicks and when once of us RPers does, it's a big damn surprise.

MattyAnon · 2016-06-20T17:12:59+00:00

"closure", it is code for "I'm going to tell you why you are not good enough for me"

Yup... closure for a woman is "no longer attracted", which includes elements of "make sure you're sufficiently devastated about losing her" and "make sure you're beta enough that she doesn't have to care" and "define the whole relationship so that she wins".

There is no benefit to this practice whatsoever... you'll just lose respect, lose a potential future FWB, and invite other attacks and social abuse of your reputation

NeoreactionSafe · 2016-06-20T04:37:06+00:00

We've heard another Game play which is to pretend to be beta in order to dump a girl (tricking her to do it) and then laughing because of it. (she is kept clueless)

It doesn't matter... ego is at stake, but if you have a solid Frame you can endure any ending if you aren't deep into Oneitis mode.

The ones that hurt are when they have broken you mentally and you really are into beta depression and loss of Frame and it ends and you think for some stupid reason you want more punishment.

Puppy Love is always so tragic.

LordThunderbolt · 2016-06-20T03:17:04+00:00

Leave a gaping hole right in their soul.

verify_account · 2016-06-20T15:23:58+00:00

Why all the bitter downvotes? This is great advice.

StuttBuffer · 2016-06-20T13:30:53+00:00

I remember when an ex of a few years wanted to have the closure talk. When she suggested we have that conversation, I remember thinking "wtf good will that do for either of us?" But I obliged. Turns out, it was basically her trying to get me to admit that I was also sad that the relationship was over, possibly to get me back (I was already with another girlfriend at that point). I wasn't sad it was over, and that conversation ended with her thinking I was an asshole. My advice is to not bother entertaining a closure talk. If you break up with a woman right the first time, then that's all that needs to be said. Decline further invitations to meet up.

BlueChilli · 2016-06-20T16:55:25+00:00

I think your right.

"Closure" is just womanspeak for "I'm pissed and want a chance to scream at you some more"

Title	When you break up with a girl NEVER give them "closure"
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	58
Date	June 20, 2016 3:01 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4owmbl/when_you_break_up_with_a_girl_never_give_them/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/when-you-break-up-with-a-girl-never-give-them.60088 https://theredarchive.com/post/60088

Comments