I know rule number 1 of TRP is not to talk about TRP and not to try to convert. Nonetheless, I was doing just that. It resulted in a conversation I think is worth repeating for everyone here.

The background isn't important. The set up is that after initially taking to TRP with gusto, my friend has been battling relapses with BP mentalities. From speaking with him, I knew it was happening again. So, I pointed out to him exactly what his current girl is doing. It crushed him; he want from being so sure he was the ALPHA to understanding he was an absolute puppet for her. After a few minutes of disbelief, the anger kicked in and he grasped for TRP principles. He then resolved to go strait home and tell her "how it's going to be" from now one. I was adamantly against that, and here's why.

  1. She's not stupid
  2. She wasn't raised in a barn or by wolves.

What I mean by this is she knows damn good and well how to behave, how not to be a massive cunt and how to treat people, including "her man." She knows what's she's doing.

Let that sink in. She knows what she's doing! And she did it anyway!

What the fuck are you going to tell her?

That she shouldn't have done that? Uh, she already knew that.

So why would she act that way? Because there's two things she doesn't know.

  1. Do you know how you are to be treated?
  2. Are you willing to hold people accountable if they don't treat you correctly?

That's the issue. It's also the rub.

When you sit her down to have the talk, it is your intention to let her know you do know and warn against future transgressions. But in fact, what you are actually telling her is that you do know, but even when treated badly you are loath to do anything about it. You'd rather hope she doesn't do what she's already proven she will, than do what she knows you should. Let that sink in. Your refusal to take action is your declaration of her impunity to do so.

On the other hand, if you just act accordingly, she'll know you know, because she knows what she did (this is why women don't say what you did wrong they just punish you), and she'll know first hand the swift retribution that will follow. In this way, she will now fully understand the situation. And you will get information you can never get from having the talk; does she respect you?

If you won't do anything to protect yourself then you don't know if there is truly something about you she's drawn to or if you just represent an easy mark for her machinations. If you have standards and demand she meets them, she'll only stay if you're worth it.

You should never tell her "How it's going to be."

IN ANTICIPATION OF COMMENTS: I'm not saying you can't tell her how you like your steak cooked or instruct her on how your family prays before a meal. What I'm saying is she knows how to be a decent person and if she fails to treat you accordingly it's because she thinks you might not be such a person. Also, when she does know your specifics and ignores them anyway, it's the same scenario.