My now husband and I bought a house/moved in together mid 2017 (we were not married at that time). There had already been trust issues in our relationship for a variety of reasons which I am starting to realize were very serious red flags, but alas in the name of love I chose to attempt to move forward and work through it as best I could (read: i didn’t). Point is, at the end of 2017, my gut was telling me something was off. I looked through his phone (i acknowledge this is a complete invasion of privacy) to find videos of himself having sex with another woman which he sent to his friend back in 2016. For reference, we were in an exclusive relationship as of early 2015. When I confronted him about the videos, he said that the incident had happened before we were exclusive. But even of it had happened before i came into his life, it still begs the question as to why he still had the videos on his phone. I still feel humiliated and disrespected, and I can’t have sex with him anymore without flashbacks to those videos. I’m feeling very confused, and don’t know what to do. I’m strongly considering divorce, as this is not the only incident of possible infidelity I’ve come across with him. I’m feeling shameful for excusing his behavior and marrying him thinking that I would just “get over it”. Any advice or feedback is appreciated.