Backround: My high school sweetheart and I got married 1 1/2 years ago (8-9 years together depending on where you mark the start). Personality wise she's great. Witty, hilarious, and sweet wrapped around a steel bitchy core (I love verbally sparring with her or watching her spar with others. it's exciting and adorable at the same time). Body wise we are both shit. 100lbs overweight, both of us. She's a 3/4, I'm a 5/6 (with cloths and good posture). We both come from conservative Christian backrounds. I still hold strong to mine, she give lip service to hers (My fault for not dragging her ass to church). I went through a bought of severe depression (catatonic for 3 days) 4 years ago (mild now). I'm a pornography addict (I'm owning it and it's officially on the list of self-improvement). This presents some unique challenges. She has seen me at my worst and most beta. She's nursed me through it in fact, despite falling in love with my more alpha tendencies. I stumbled on the rationale male (Two weeks ago) and eventually got redirected here. But I fucked up. She asked me what I was reading. I told her. I didn't know about fight club yet, and frankly I wasn't convinced you guys weren't full of bullshit. A week later I've awoken something primal and hungry inside of me, and I haven't felt like this since high-school (6 years ago). How effective is this process going to be when my all my wife has to do is google "red pill" and start reading here? My cover will get blown super quick.

Also, I'm honestly not super interested in sex right now. Part of that is depression, part of that is I'll need 6 months of sobriety under my belt before my libido will bounce back and the fucking ED goes away, and part of that is frankly there's nothing about either of us that is actually physically arousing when the cloths come off. So I'm putting that on hold. The behaviors however I can get behind. The lifting, the hobbies, sounds great, but I'm going back to school in a month (finishing my degree that I let my shit stop me from doing before).

That means I'm not working, which puts me in a beta position as she is the breadwinner (once I graduate I'm in the engineering field so I'll be making more than both of us do together now). This is a short-term problem caused by needing to meet a long-term goal. Do I need to hold off on Dread? Is any of the alpha personality going to fly when we both know I'm not working and she is the one feeding us and providing a roof, all I'm doing is providing for the education?

Second question, I'm autistic as fuck (aspergers). I miss social cues like there is no tomorrow. My wife has literally had to break down why certain behaviors are offensive and shouldn't be done in public like I was two, only way I could get it. How will that interact with Game when I get there?

Thirdly (lastly), I see walking out listed as a valid response for boundaries. I get it, I've done it. But she FREAKS when that happens. Grabbing onto me and pulling at my clothes ripping my shirt freaks the fuck out. Now I'm bigger, and I could stop it, but I'm not confident I can stop it without bruising/hurting her, and my very being shy's away from that. It's also the only behavior she has that I absolutely abhor.

Thoughts? I'll save my other questions until I've finished the recommended reading. So some time in the next two weeks (I devour books and have way to much free time at "work").