Chores

gettingmymojoback · 2017-03-12T20:31:13+00:00

What would you do if she wasn't there? Do that.

zeteomegaleio · 2017-03-12T20:43:20+00:00

How about conditioning your affection and availability on her behaving like a grown up who can put her fucking dishes in the sink? If you don't want to be surrounded by filth, maybe you just shouldn't be around?

And exactly where do you see the future going with a woman who can't take any part in keeping a house up? This isn't even Adulting, it is Basic Humaning 101. I mean, I managed to figure out the "dirty dishes go in the sink" thing when I was like 4 or 5?

Or, is there something you aren't telling us? LTR handles most of the chores around the house here, and feels bad when she doesn't because she knows how I prefer it to be clean/orderly, but this is not because she's my fucking slave. It's because I run my own company and put in a lot of hours, so we are agreed that chores are just about entirely in her domain at the moment as I don't have time to do that when I'm trying to keep us going financially. But when I'm headed out of my office and downstairs anyway, I'll grab any glasses or things that need to go in the sink because I'm a fucking grown up.

So if she is earning 2x as much as you at her job and working longer hours, then yes you need to be cleaning everything and your focus needs to be on fixing your shit because WTF?

But if things are otherwise mostly equal and she is just being a lazy slob, why are you dealing with a woman who can't even bring her dishes to the sink? That's straight up disrespectful to you and your home together. Start being a lot more awesome, and if she doesn't figure it out that she is replaceable and needs to step up then upgrade to someone who at least isn't disgusting.

SgtSilverBack · 2017-03-12T22:36:20+00:00

When I stopped expecting my wife to be an adult and owned my own shit, she started to realize how nice it is to have a clean home and its less stressful.

I started making the bed because that is what I wanted to sleep in, a nice clean bed. I picked up because I want a clean house. I make the kids pick up there crap b/c I want them to have the same values I do until they are on their own and make up their own mind. It had nothing to do with her.

Wouldn't you know, she started making the bed and picking up her shit. You set the example, not from a place of expecting her to do it, but because you want it that way.

Or see /u/gettingmymojoback for a TLDR.

EDIT: For an option on how to covertly communicate, when my kids leave something around I say "Honey, you need to pick up your dishes, we don't leave those laying around in this house" I say it overtly to my daughter so she knows my expectation of her behavior and my wife overhears it. It makes it tough for her to be the lone slob when everyone in the house knows we don't do X action.

GargantuaBlarg29 · 2017-03-12T22:52:10+00:00

Work on you first.

aditas · 2017-03-12T22:15:24+00:00

Does she suck your dick?

Does she make you sandwiches?

Does she wash your socks?

If the answer is anything other than "enthusiastically" why is she your partner?

screechhater · 2017-03-12T22:34:59+00:00

My pussy won't clean itself .... oh, what shall I do ??

What I'm the fuck would you do if it was hit by a train tomorrow ? Explain that ?

Why I'm Fuck is your frame so weak you cannot lead her to be clean ? Huh, WTF ?

Either she is adding value or she is not. Pick the one that bebifits you most.

tslextslex · 2017-03-13T18:39:47+00:00

Think how you would handle this if your child failed to to do the necessary chores.

Then do that.

Her: "Thought we were going to the art festival today?" You: "Nope. Art festivals are for girls who clean up their mess."

Her: "Thought we were going out to dinner." You: "We can leave when you've put away your laundry and loaded your dishes into the dishwasher, if there's still time."

Her: "Hey . . what are you going to to do with that hairbrush?"

redmountainpill · 2017-03-12T23:29:29+00:00

You know you shouldn't be a control freak. You can communicate and set expectations. Make sure you've got all your shit on lock before you start expecting the other person to change

AmericanViking64 · 2017-03-12T21:23:03+00:00

Pick up her nasty ass filth and put it on her side of the bed, her car, etc. It works for a child so it will probably work for a wife.

Life_advice_me · 2017-03-13T06:33:35+00:00

Most of these responses will lead to you being Rambo. Which of course in great if your wife sees you as Rambo. If you have not established the frame for this, you will come across as Joffrey Baratheon. Change needs to be gradual so clean up her sht whilst you improve yourself because that is what needs to be done. But also begin leading in the house. Find things to fix. Plan the weekends. If you have kids, take them somewhere fun without the wife. When she sees you as someone who leads and is desirable, then you can tell her to put her sht away. Fix yourself first.

Edit. Don't be a whiny bitch about the cleaning. Used to hate when my wife pulled that sht. Pay for a fcking cleaner....

Title	Chores
Author	canadaleaf14
Upvotes	9
Comments	20
Date	March 12, 2017 8:23 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5z0q6i/chores/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/chores.206421 https://theredarchive.com/post/206421

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