Could you help me?

ReddJive · 2019-07-01T13:35:25+00:00

Jesus fucking Christ. Just when I think I made some head way with one man another sad sack shows up. Like all Blue Pill fucks OP is the tragic hero of his own self created problem.

Alright mother fucker. Here’s the deal. You are needy as fuck. Stop that.

Neediness is an insidious thing. It comes from a variety of places and even reasons. Even experts don't completely agree. Some think it comes from your relationships with your parents, others a pattern of neglect and disregard in all your relationships. Yet one thing is common about being needy. It is built on fear. The fear of abandonment. The fear of uncertainty. The fear of loss or rejection. The fear of being alone. In fact there are only two things we are afraid of. Fear of death and fear of being alone.

The blue pill fucker in you wants that connection so badly that the idea of missing out on it, or losing it makes you anxious. The simple state of being alone becomes the worst thing imaginable. yet it isn’t the worse thing because here you are. Sack up and figure your way through it.

People who have issues with neediness don’t usually have a strong sense of self; all of their value and validation is external. They desperately seek relationships as a way of showing that they have value. Someone else finds them desirable, therefore they clearly have worth.

As people we can function just fine alone. We may not like it but we can. It's when we get drawn into the orbit of another person that we start to get a little less then we were.

Being a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, fuck buddy...whatever is a role you play in someone else's life. Not who you are. Recognize this.

Complete yourself. Become your own source of satisfaction. Start reading the material in the sidebar of the sub and get to work.

red-sfpplus · 2019-07-01T13:42:27+00:00

Fuck you and your humble brag.

At least you are getting a decree.

halo1900 · 2019-07-01T13:36:07+00:00

On this day the court will release it's decree and my marriage will be dissolved.

Congratulations! Go out and celebrate.

She was the love of my life.

It's the loss of the one I loved.

We made beautiful memories together.

Oneitis - check

I haven't been my true self ever since she expressed her desire to seperate.

It'd be an understatement to say I'm frightened.

Zero frame - check

After this event there's no one.

Not one person.

I don't know how I'll manage to live.

She does try to ameliorate my situation by assuring me everything will be fine

No social life - check

After the 10th it'll be as if she didn't exist at all.

Not true, you'll know how to not get yourself into the fucking situation again. You pushed her away from your Level 11 faggotness. Little context around the background here, but looks like she's leaving you which means she's likely 1) fucking Chad and 2) lost her attraction to you a LONG time ago.

Here's how you 'get over it' - start lifting, start reading the sidebar, read up on Stoicism. Stop living in a "what if I did X or Y" as well as "how am I ever going to get over this". Here's reality - you are a divorced single man. Your ex doesn't love you, isn't attracted to you, and has moved on. Does it suck? Not if you don't let it. Your happiness is YOUR choice, no one can take that away from you. TELL yourself everyday, I am going to fucking be happy.

You need to start lifting heavy - critical and will clear your mind
You need to start meditation 10 minutes minimum a day. Get an app - there's a lot of free stuff out there
You need to STFU but in a bit different context here - stop whining about your situation to others. No contact needed with ex, you aren't going to win her back.
You need to read the sidebar. Probably No More Mr. Nice good would be a good starting place, because you have that vibe all over your post.
You need to find a social activity - I don't care wtf it is. Get around other people. Start venturing out, hanging out at some bars. Get out and TALK to other people.
Get a therapist if you need to - just be fucking careful and make sure it's focused on resolving your anxiety and depression.

This pain is insufferable.

Nah man, you'll get over it. Lots of us on here have been through much much worse and are happy, awesome men. If you DO follow the program, it's the hardest thing you'll do in your life but it will fix you as a man and make life great.

“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

rpsheepdog · 2019-07-01T13:18:36+00:00

It wasn't an unhappy union. We were the quintessential successful love marriage

Apparently not man.

We were much loved by people around us.

Moving forward, this largely doesn't matter.

Something tells me you haven't read much around here. Based on what I'm reading you had oneitis for you ex, changed your whole life to revolve around her, she gets bored with it, and now you're done.

You've got some reading to do.

Good news is you're a male who is capable of many things, just don't go down the spiral.

HornsOfApathy · 2019-07-01T13:48:14+00:00

Look dude, glad you found us here. If you stick with us we'll help you along the way. But first things first: stop feeling sorry for yourself and acting like a huge butthurt whiny faggot.

We get it. It sucks. It's painful. It's going to suck for a while until you unfuck yourself. You need to sidebar and lift. Make it your short term 90 day goal to ONLY concentrate on reading and lifting heavy weights. Break your brain. Feeling like shit? Lift. Don't think you can eat today? Go lift. Pissed as fuck when you think of your wife getting railed by Chad Thundercock and swallowing his cum to the last drop? Go lift. Fuck, I'd lift a personal best on that thought.

You are 53 years old. So, you've likely had AT LEAST 35 FUCKING YEARS of bluepill conditioning. This is going to take you a long time, but if you're willing to do the work and stop acting like a little bitch who has no control over his emotions or direction in life I promise you that you will arise as a man - and a man worth fucking and being with.

If it's any help, my father and mother recently divorced 6 months ago. They were married for nearly 40 years. And you know what's he's doing? He's in the gym. Getting rid of his fucking fat gut and reading shit to improve his life. He calls me, his son, and talks with me about how much happier he is. He's lonely, sure, but that's because he spent 40 fucking years being conditioned to sub-optimal living conditions. Was it a good relationship? I'm sure it was in parts or maybe even the majority (like you've said) but here's the thing motherfucker:

You don't know any different.

Do you know what it's like to have your woman on her knees, looking up at you with those sweet innocent eyes and begging you to cum in her mouth? Do you know what that feels like... anytime you want it? I'll give you a secret: you don't get that until you put in the hard work for yourself and make yourself a man that women want to fuck and be with.

You have a lot of life left. So get to work, stop being lazy, and do the work required to get what you want out of life. The world owes you nothing. Not even a wife of 24 years that wants to be with you.

Haven't you figured this shit out already in the depths of your brain? Listen to it. Embrace it.

Strength, motherfucker.

matrixtospartanatLV · 2019-07-02T01:14:54+00:00

You posted this OP, almost word for word, to r/MGTOW as well. I am pleased, if not a little proud, that nearly 100% of our responses are about what you should DO to fix yourself, as well as your situation. Nearly 100% of their responses are about what a piece of shit she is, how much better off you are without her, and how you'll get over it. The choice is yours. You can wallow in the mud with the pigs until the mud dries up, or you can stand up like a fucking man, climb out of the mud pit of despair, and DO something about it.

10th July - This day may not mean much to most people...

I'll tell you what it means to me...72 fucking days since MY final decree and the dissolution of a marriage that had me at times feeling suicidal and homicidal in the beginning, and feeling like I had been let out of prison after being sentenced to life at the end.

You're 53yo. I'm 57yo. It's late in the game for us, but there is still a game and life to be played, and YOU, motherfucker, are being given a chance to play again as a different character. Who do YOU want to be? Answer that question, and then BECOME that person.

We met at college and on graduating got married.

Well, dumbass, I'll bet you never do that again, or advise anyone else to, either. As a matter of fact, unless you plan to wife up a 30-something and raise your progeny, NEVER GET MARRIED AGAIN. I'll save my marriage rant for later. You can ask for it if you like.

I haven't been my true self ever since she expressed her desire to seperate.

Um, no. You've NEVER been your true self; not one fucking day of your life. You feel the way you do now because you don't have a self identity. Your identity is built on the premise that she was in your life. SHE was your foundation and reason for being. Now that she's leaving, you're despondent. What you SHOULD be feeling right now is a sense of disappointment, sadness, and that you will miss her. But you KNOW that you will get over her, and replace her with someone younger, hotter, and tighter within 6 months after 90 days of monk mode, and 90 days of 'fishing.'

It'd be an understatement to say I'm frightened.

And there is the root of your REAL problem. You're nothing more than a scared little boy at 14yo after his first crush left him. You have no idea what to do. You were nothing before her, and you are nothing now without her, because you have never done anything for YOURSELF. She was your identity, your reason for living. You will learn about 'frame' in your time here. You don't have a shitty frame; you have no frame at all. "Frightened?" You'd be terrified and scared shitless if you knew right now what you DON'T know about your personal situation.

It's the loss of the one I loved. We made beautiful memories together. After the 10th it'll be as if she didn't exist at all. All I'll have is those memories which will hurt as long as I'm alive.

Stop being a whiny, pussified, beta bitch drama queen. You fucking attention whore. If she doesn't exist at all after the 10th, how the fuck are the memories of her going to hurt as long as you live? STFU. In case your are so new you don't understand that acronym...SHUT THE FUCK UP. Literally.

It wasn't an unhappy union. We were the quintessential successful love marriage. We were much loved by people around us. After this event there's no one. Not one person. I've become a pariah.

That's quite a contrast between 'not an unhappy union' and 'quintessential successful love marriage.' You delusional fuck. you've been brainwashed by everyone around you and who did it benefit? Why HER, of course. The next 90 days in monk mode you are going to become one selfish little prick. You (we) don't have much time left. You better learn to assert yourself and unapologetically take what you want. When your reading takes you to No More Mr Nice Guy, DO THE FUCKING EXERCISES. Pariah is right where you want to be. Rid yourself of the very people who stole your identity, your time, your very life and gleefully supported you giving it and all of yourself to another, for the benefit of them only.

I don't know how I'll manage to live. She does try to ameliorate my situation by assuring me everything will be fine. This pain is insufferable.

You don't know how you'll manage to live because inside your mind you're that scared little boy. You don't have a clue what to fucking do. And she's right: everything will be fine...IF. This pain is not insufferable. Stop being an emotional tampon and absorbing all this shit. There's a string attached to that tampon. Reach down between your legs, grab the string, pull it out, and throw it away. Now. that bigger string you felt down there is your limp, little dick. Pull that firmly away from your body and wait for your balls to drop.

Based on your posts and comments, I'm going to guess you are probably East Indian from a traditional marriage. Raprochement? Amelioerate? You're ESL. And GOD bless you, you're pretty good at it. This sub is about becoming a masculine man. The shit you learn here translates across all cultures because at the end of the day, women are women, and they ALL want a real man.

I'll also bet that your are possibly fat, but more likely skinny fat, physically and emotionally weak, highly educated, socially retarded, low confidence, low self-esteem, few friends and even fewer hobbies. I'll bet the thought of spending an entire week by yourself with no human contact scares the living shit out of you because YOU don't have any idea who the fuck YOU are.

You feel old, like you've wasted your life, the best is behind you, that you listened to the wrong people and did the wrong things and now you're miserable, lonely, and all alone because you did it all wrong, and you don't have enough time to fix it.

Well, you're right. If you choose to follow the majority of your MGTOW brothers' advice, your current dynamic will not change. And when you finally do wake up to the reality of life in 15 years, you'll realize how much you wasted, and how little you have left to start with. You could ask me how I know all this, but if you do, my only answer will be, "Fuck Off."

TOMORROW...go get a full blood test. With your BS in science you should be banking enough or have good enough insurance to get this shit done. Get your TESTOSTERONE checked. Take the results and start googling what those numbers REALLY mean. Chances are, you are highly estrogenic, low T, and that's why you write, sound, act, and emote like a pussy.

NEXT. Google foods that increase your testosterone and also promote vascular function. In 90 days, get tested again. Evaluate your results and decide to continue that or possibly start supplements. Testosterone is THE hormone that makes you a man. It is literally the gasoline/petrol in your engine. If you are putting in water and sugar, literally and figuratively, well, you already know/feel the results.

Now, and here is where you make a decision;

Go to the top of r/marriedredpill. Look for u/SteelSharpensSteel 's post entitled, Steel's Guide to Married Red Pill, and start reading.

So decide, you weak ass pussy piece of useless shit, and I say that with the love of a brother who has been there and felt that...

You can GTFO (Get The Fuck Out)

or...

GET TO FUCKING WORK.

Edit: spelling, grammar, and syntax

FoxShitNasty83 · 2019-07-01T13:43:03+00:00

Rebuild from the ashes, this is an amazing opertunity to build a life you want. You get to rebuild your life from scratch. Do whatever the fuck you like (you should have been doing this anyway). Accept and move on. Lift weights to strengthen your mind and body. Take up hobbies you enjoy, make friends. Go on get on with it.

Tbonesupreme · 2019-07-01T16:45:27+00:00

All this faggoty shit you're feeling is the same reason she's leaving your faggoty ass.

I promise you that the loss you're feeling is less about her and more about the goofy future you've built up in your head. You're losing that future. And you're losing who you thought you were, because you defined yourself by who you are when you're with her - that's what that fear is.

She's not at all as special as you think she is. She's just a woman.

Every single minute you spend focusing on her and your ending marriage is a waste. Picture yourself setting money on fire - that's how bad of an investment it is. Spend those minutes on YOU. The ROI is immediate and guaranteed.

You'll realize how much of the "love" for her was just misdirected once you figure out how to love yourself.

Lift. Go to social settings alone. When you spend time alone with strangers, it's much easier to understand your true self. You'll stop feeling lonely when you're alone.

stoicstephen · 2019-07-01T16:55:13+00:00

Start powerlifting.

Do the 4 big exercises, squat, deadlifts, bench press and military press.

Don't ask why, just do it. Thank me later.

[deleted] · 2019-07-01T13:32:40+00:00

Sure. Read the sidebar and stfu. You are welcome.

ArborioRice · 2019-07-01T14:33:28+00:00

Stop letting a woman define you as a man.

TakeIIRP · 2019-07-01T14:32:28+00:00

Make sure you focus on yourself. Read the sidebar. If you're not lifting, start lifting. If you haven't had a physical in a while with blood work get one. Make sure you get your hormones checked too. R/testosterone wiki has a list of labs that are recommended to be checked.

If you're "exercising" but not lifting you're wrong. Power walking, spin class, anything else besides the barbell is a waste of time and you're not guaranteed past the present.

If you're doing any of this in hopes of having your soon to be ex wife notice. You're even more wrong.

Good luck.

Rogue68486 · 2019-07-04T03:12:04+00:00

I recommend the book Crazy Times. It gives you a glimpse of what a pathetic mess men turn into after divorce. 70% remarry in 1st year. And 50% end in divorce number 2

You're challenge is to create a better relationship by being a better man.

You're acting like a victim which makes sense given your life experience. However. You have stumbled upon the holy grail and men who will teach you to use it

If you remain a victim after lifting and reading the books, then you're making a choice. Personally I can never be the same after reading the books. I'd recommend No More Mr Nice Guy and Pook for you to start.

Time to knuck up. Shut the fuck up. Lift and read the side bar.

bowhunter857 · 2019-07-01T13:38:09+00:00

How old are you? Being married that long I’m assuming prolly 45-55? If you make yourself worth a shit at all you’ll find that being a single man at that age is way easier than a single woman. No man that is moderately attractive will ever have much reason to start a new relationship with a 50 year old woman.

Title	Could you help me?
Author	halo1900
Upvotes	4
Comments	39
Date	July 1, 2019 1:09 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/c7sdcj/could_you_help_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/could-you-help-me.244074 https://theredarchive.com/post/244074

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