Do you regret getting married?

whinemoreplease · 2015-10-17T23:18:31+00:00

Nope. I know why I'm married - I knew about red pill culture before getting married. The long and short that TRP won't tell you is that women aren't caricatures. If I weren't happy, I'd get divorce and own my shit instead of being a whiny, pansy bitch about it. I'd figure out how to make things happen.

The issue is that most men aren't capable of leading a marriage - the modern man is too spineless and lacks the clarity of vision, which is why I wouldn't recommend marriage for the average man.

skyscan1 · 2015-10-17T23:18:15+00:00

I have three children and now a loving and sexual wife. I would do it again but somewhat differently with the knowledge that I have now.

awyden · 2015-10-18T00:11:22+00:00

I would get married still but I would do it very very differently from the start.

itstartstoday123 · 2015-10-18T02:16:05+00:00

I know we don't really do reaction gifs but I couldn't pass this one up. Think of MRP being the Guy sitting next to your girl in the gif, trying to save you.

http://i.imgur.com/vcwAz0p.gifv

angels_fan · 2015-10-17T17:43:58+00:00

Yeah, I regret it.

There is absolutely no benefit to getting married and a TON of liabilities for a man.

And this from a man that has a great marriage...

I think I'd just have an eternal round of LTR's. I'm not much for the ONS scene nor plating.

RPAlternate42 · 2015-10-17T18:05:33+00:00

Yup. And I did it 15 years ago at almost 20 years old.

I was in the Marine Corps and should have been slaying pussy in San Diego, being a fucking man with other men, and being generally MGTOW/IDGAF. But I bought into the feminist BP all you need is love bullshit.

I actually had the chance to get the fuck out 5 years in and then I went full beta.

Had I discovered RP then or gotten my mental and emotional shit together I wouldn't even be having the conversation.

Most of the time I believe I put in the effort (to the marriage) that I do because I have kids. If I didn't have kids, I'd give way less shits.

Ultimately it's not the kids, it's the fact that to be a father I have to spend time with the kids and, ultimately, her.

If I had no kids, I'd spend very little time with her: we share few interests, conversations are dull, family/sister drama all the time; I can get all that shit and NOT be married and at that point I would just tell her to leave the drama or leave altogether.

Owning a house makes divorce troublesome too.

Even with all that, divorce is always an option I have in a clearly marked jar at the front of the shelf. Things are fine, good even, but with women, nothing is permanent and shot turns on a dime; AWALT.

So yes, I regret getting married. I'll likely never be fully happy or emotionally healthy as a result of that regret, but I know that, as a man, my feelings don't fucking matter and so I just live my life, deliberately. I am happy, far happier than I was 3 years ago, but it's not great.

Don't get married. There is no benefit to you.

WhiteTrashKiller · 2015-10-17T19:37:27+00:00

My first post, woot! I've been married 13 years, together for 17. I came into my relationship pure RP/IDGAF(5 years AD military). The Army gave me such a valuable education regarding women, Hypergamy and the system, I just didn't understand the knowledge nor the RP terminology til a year ago(found RP) I didn't realize at the time it was all women not just the sloots around the military. Read the prerequisites all the nightmare stories on Reddit, noticed wife wasn't as receptive to me, she was nowhere near as wet anymore and I finally understood why. It was me, I stopped being the guy I was in the beginning....... I was warned early on in the Army don't get married while you're in, all wives cheat and she will take you for half of everything. You wont be able to get out if you want to and she'll most likely get knocked up and lock you down( hindsight now, I knew a lot of guys that had SO's knocked up by others and laughed all the time). So I was the epitome of the single soldier. Now I consider my marriage to be pretty good. I can say I have only had 2 fights in my marriage, I refused to do it and would leave for a day or two early in the relationship and go NC. Life is too short to argue with anyone about anything..... She knows this and the outcome from instigating one and wont start anymore. I'm no Chad by any means 5'6" 153lbs 12%BF, but I did let my guard down for a bit and got skinny fat, drank a lot of beer and needed a course correction. A year ago I started living for me again, gym 7 days a week, maxed out my diet, started initiating sex everyday(even if it didn't go anywhere) started shooting again, skydiving and life in general has gotten fun again. My wife had a single digit partner count even with the 3x multiple added in if you could ever believe their words. She's a good women, works full time, 3 kids no shit tests to speak of(all comfort tests, daddy issues) even with all this knowing what I know now I wouldn't do it again. I may still have ended up with her in an ltr and have my 3 children, but I wouldn't let the government into my life if I had the option, I wouldn't comingle my finances and stand my ground early on better. My only advice to any man even thinking about marriage is if she doesn't have the same education or intelligence as you or a job that pays as much as you next her. Don't ever let her stop working, even after children. It's your only hedge on this marriage bet. If you each earn the same amount of money alimony is off the table and with shared custody so is child support. Marriage is now a business decision and should be treated as such. It was created to control people and feminism has given the freedom to women to let them unleash their biological imperitive upon the world. Don't fucking do it and to those Betas that want to slide into that vacated spot. Let me ask you one question "How's your wife and my kids"? Hypergamy will happen to you it's just a matter of when.....

jcrpta · 2015-10-17T20:00:55+00:00

I'm practically a career beta.

And yes, I do regret marrying.

If I could go back in time, I would go back to when I was 15 and still in school.

I'd act as my own mentor. I'd tell myself to get over my collection of one-itis-is (who were invariably either way out of my league or simply not interested), and point out all the girls who were flirting with me like their lives depended on it (which there was never any shortage of, dammit!).

I'd explain that there's no harm in having a sniff around these girls, that none of it obliges me to be bound to life for any of them.

I'd explain that the girl who's calling me "queer" means "gay" (not a term I'd heard at the time - what can I say, I lived under a rock), and she's calling me that because she's practically thrown herself at me and I've neither reciprocated nor have I told her I'm not interested.

Scurvemuch · 2015-10-17T23:33:25+00:00

I think the short version goes like this :

If you're already pretty red , vet well/ choose well and set up things how you want them with the knowledge of the fact that the law is financially stacked against you.

Many of the guys on here were not red or if they were, didn't understand it at all and turned more blue ( poor leaders etc. ) That led to often lets just say sub optimal choices in women or timing or both - basically fucked it up. Those will usually regret it at least somewhat.

If you find the right woman - yes it's doable and you can do it well if you keep your shit together.

assured_destruction · 2015-10-18T02:28:35+00:00

Hind sight is SO fucking hard. So is predicting the future. Do I regret getting married in 1986 at age 25? ( thats 29 years of marriage for you math majors ) Well sometimes, mostly because I imagine life would be better, But I'm only fantasizing. The wife is a pretty good girl all in all, her sex drive could be higher, she could be kinkier. But then if she was, who knows what life would be like. I have 2 great kids, a nice house, and I can basically do what I want. I'm not going to get a divorce, things are too good for that. Theres a lot of great things about being married, esp to an old school girl and some not so great things. But you takes your chances and you get what you get.

Not sure I'd be happier alone and trying to find dates for 30 years.

However I told my son, who's in his 20's he's not allowed to get married before he's 35 and well established, if then. I talked to him about a lot of things RP ish. We'll see what happens.

I would definitely seriously take my time getting married, or just live together if at all possible.

The_Litz · 2015-10-18T07:42:12+00:00

Regret, not quite, would I do things differently given the chance, you bet.

Nothing wrong with marrying the right woman and leading from day one.

A totally different story trying to man up and turn the ship around after being a beta bitch for many many years.

Would I marry again? If she had no kids, was stinking rich and she asked me I would put it up for consideration. Otherwise not a fuck.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-10-20T14:08:18+00:00

I have a wife who makes tons of money and sexes me (almost) on demand and several wonderful kids (more or less). If I had to do it again I would have a harem. Marriage 2.0 is a travesty and I would not participate in the corrupted institution again. I wouldn't tell my plates that....

FearDearg2015 · 2015-10-17T19:28:08+00:00

Since finding TRP, I would never again advise any dude to get married, though on the occasions I've had a chance to, I didn't advise any dude not to get married either. Online is different, but to be honest, IRL, I just don't want to be involved in anyone else's shit. If I knew then what I know now, I would do it all differently for sure, but, I don't regret getting married. Yes, in hindsight and with TRP in my belly, i can see that it was a mistake, but at the time I did it, it was what I wanted more than anything. I own that. Nobody forced me, and nobody is forcing me to stay. I'm a man, who made a promise, and I'm gonna give it my best shot to honour that promise.

So, no regrets, but I would definitely do things differently if I had a time machine.

By the way, saw you in that TBP thread the other day. I think you held frame nicely ;)

itstartstoday123 · 2015-10-17T23:14:39+00:00

I regret it right now because I am not a man that can handle all my issues with my wife.....yet.

Looking back though, if I had known this stuff I probably would have not gotten married when I did. Not sure if I would have got married to the same woman. Hindsight is 20/20(damn that magical butt) but it also makes you realize that had you had this information you could have skipped all the BS and Just been happy.

I'm not sure I agree with the don't get married bit but I do for sure support not getting married until you have this knowledge as second nature.

RPSigmaStigma · 2015-10-17T23:42:31+00:00

No doubt. I love my wife, but marriage changes things. It's no longer a romantic love affair, now it's a business arrangement. And I really mean that. I don't mean, it used to feel like a romantic love affair and now it just feels like a business arrangement. I it literal changes everything, especially in her mind. You just can't be honest with each other anymore in the way you used to. Before, in her mind, if you all broke up, it wouldn't be so bad, but now she'd be a divorced! And that's just the tip of the iceberg. My wife used to tell me about cute guys who would flirt with her. Now she doesn't tell me anything about that, despite the fact that we both fuck other people now, when before we didn't (that I know of). How backwards is that? It's because it literally changes everything.

Raiden2 · 2015-10-18T04:30:24+00:00

The part of me that is late 20's with every college girl in Seattle at my fingertips with even rudimentary game regrets it for sure considering how femmy most guys here are. I'd love to be out slaying pussy left and right.

But when I got married I had already accumulated a few months of RP knowledge and have used it to shape my marriage in the way I want it. I didn't have the time to screw up and go complete beta because I knew better. I found a great one and while AWALT I got to her when she was still too shy to ride the CC and I've always had higher SMV.

I think if you've had a long relationship and you know how to use TRP to stay on top of things and prevent the nagging harpy from developing and you want the benefits of marriage (kids, etc) and are willing to take the risks it's an option, but I know a lot of these guys didn't have that benefit and have been crawling through hell in order to be respected by their wives.

ThatOtherMarriedGuy · 2015-10-18T16:05:31+00:00

The only reason I think any man should even consider getting married is children.

I have two boys and I love them more than myself. If I could go back in time to be single, I would not do it if it meant removing them from my existence.

That said, I think marriage sucks and I was a lot happier when I was single. Don't get married unless you really, really want kids.

Could I have had kids without being married? Certainly, but I don't know, I guess I still think a two-parent household is the best environment for kids to grow up in. I would have had a tough time making a single girl pregnant, especially knowing she would have 100% of the decision-making power regarding the kids.

I honestly think "marriage" would be a lot better for everyone (men and women) if people still paired up as husband and wife to share housing, finances and child rearing responsibilities, but still had sexual freedom to fuck other people as needed. I know I'd be much happier in my current marriage if I had a couple of girlfriends on the side.

That obviously not "canonical" TRP but that's what I believe.

mrpCamper · 2015-10-18T23:31:26+00:00

I think my life is richer with her in it. I would definitely do things differently though. Not combine bank account. Not have given so much of myself and my money to shit I knew "we" didn't need thinking it would make her happy and my life easier etc.

[deleted] · 2015-10-19T02:52:31+00:00

Shit I've done it twice so the answer would be no. First time was a disaster. In college I had been very successful at playing the field but always suffered from bouts of oneitis. I carried this shit trait into my first marriage and it helped to hasten its implosion. Second time around I had done a bunch of self reflection, reading and work on myself. I literally had to deprogram myself from a Oneitis way of thinking when it came to certain women. Part of my self help program was to work on my game so that I had options. Eventually it bore fruit . I had a nice mid life run with a bunch of very attractive women. When I met my now current wife, I was spinning another plate. Eventually I decided that she was worth keeping around. Eventually it led to marriage. Before proposing I tested her all along the way. My main tests revolved around seeing if she would be a submissive and respectful wife to me. Fortunately for her she passed. She was not aware of the tests nor have I ever told her. To this day she continues to prove herself to be a loving hardworking wife who defers to my leadership and thinks of my needs regularly. This doesn't mean our relationship is perfect ( if it was I wouldn't be here) but compared to most its pretty damn good.

If a man knows his worth, has a vision of what he wants to achieve , understands AWALT yet the woman he wants to marry has deep character I say go for it.

RobbingTime · 2015-10-19T13:49:46+00:00

I am on my second marriage, a child with each woman. I was so beta with the first from the get go (thanks liberal arts State College education), that she finally dumped my ass for never manning up.

I red pilled up (read Green's 48 Powers and Art of Seduction, and a bunch of PUA stuff online) and had a great red pill time until I met my current wife, where I dove back into full on Blue Pill Beta mode for the past 10 years. Slowly coming out of it the last few months since discovering the subreddits on Red Pill, using what I have learned on both my ex and my current. Some success in some areas, still a LONG way to go in others.

I can't say enough about practicing some of the techniques on my ex, where I am in permanent monk mode with. And the pay off is when it works on her, my current wife sees me hold frame, and responds positive to it.

Would I ever marry again? Hell no. Two and done. If me and the current wife ever divorce, it will all be plates from then on.

NiftyDolphin · 2015-10-19T15:41:15+00:00

I'm married with children.

If I could go back, knowing what I know now, I would change nothing. Because changing anything along the line would mean that almost certainly wouldn't have the children that I have now.

If I couldn't have the kids I have, would I still get married? Yes. I would, just not to my current wife. Knowing what I know now, I could make it work, but knowing that I know now means I remember all of the pain that I allowed her put me through.

Taking kids out the equation, I would not get married. These days, marriage is just a bad deal for men.

alphabeta49 · 2015-10-19T21:38:51+00:00

Abso-fuckin-lutely.

Like everything else in RP, the problem is mine. I was such a nice guy that I wifed the first girl I fucked simply because I knocked her up. Then, because I wanted to live the life I robbed myself of, I proceeded to cheat on my wife multiple times, pushing a happy marriage further from reach.

Each time my shit surfaced, I had the option to leave. I couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger because I was either too stupid to just let it go or couldn't imagine leaving my kids.

All along I had this dream of traveling and living overseas, making tons of money, seducing hundreds of girls, then eventually settling down with a young, submissive girl maybe 20 years later.

If I could put my current situation on pause and go live life freely, I would not change anything when I came back. I have two great kids, and my wife is a good woman. Its a good life. Just not the one I wanted. Hindsight is 20-fucking-20. The whole "I wish I knew then what I know now" is painfully true in my case.

Don't get married until you're at least 40. That's my advice to my younger self.

Kosmoknots · 2015-10-18T03:49:37+00:00

Part of me says that I am glad I married her because I love my kid and she is a decent mom. but she changed and I also changed and apparently went beta during that time.

She is becoming more like her mom which is bad, but maybe even worse as her income grows and starts to surpass mine. But I didn't want to marry Marcy D'Arcy and refuse to accept the role of Jefferson.

Of course, everyone knows that a girl will be just like her mom. Pay bigger attention to that. Could you be married to her mom?

stonepimpletilists · 2015-10-18T02:47:38+00:00

I'm probably not what you're looking for, but.

I'm common-law. Really just happened because in the CF, 12 months till it engages automatically, 6 months living together civie side. I'm happy with the arrangement.

As for doing it again? Nope. It's in that nice little DMZ, where it's good enough that I wouldn't want to nuke it, but not so good that if it ended, I'd want another one.

Having said that, since taking the pill, I'm building a better bottle, and getting better water for my trouble. It's kind of gamifying life, turning it into a series of feedback loops. Abs showing? more female attention, more sexual activity at home. Sex tapered off? look at my shit and adjust. Am I getting shit tested when improving the household by leading her to something? look back, sort my shit out. It's like having a dog, he doesn't give a shit if he doesn't respect you, so you know if you're being a bitch, your dog then shits on the floor.

But currently at the point of no second chances. Blunt and immediate honesty and an AWALT moment convinced me to give it a good college try, but fool me twice.... the fooler never gets a fooled again.

A few things I'm glad I did the way I did:

Never even started a relationship longer than 30 days until I was 29 (she was my first promotion)
She was born in mexico. Definitely has a more practical work ethic than the Canadian born women. Being white is a nice bonus too. Her town has a giant church, and a tuna factory, which the entire town works for. Calling it rural doesn't do it justice. No cocks to CC until she arrived in Victoria.
Knew nothing about the military, the navy. I can't stress enough how much of a blessing this is. Even today, in 7 years, she saw me in my work uniform twice and my dress whites once.
She was 19 when I first plated her, 23 when we went full retard. She has some numbers under her belt, but I don't see myself putting up with a 30 year old divorcee with triple digit numbers. That hamster distorts a girl too much later on in life. Plus, all that bar hopping required horrible eating habits. I see her 30 year old friends now. They used to be lookers, and now it's bar hopping butter-sharks in full on desperation mode.
Next time, circumcision early on. IUD is the next best thing though. definitely less BS than someone on the pill, or condoms and paranoia for push pins

And things I would do differently?:

No more vegans. Shit is annoying as fuck
her mother is a window into your future.
see em without makeup before making a decision definitely does -40%
circumcision as soon as possible. While divorce rape makes marriage a nuclear holocost, kids are the ICBMs I prefer nuclear disarmament.

TRP is nice, but you really have to curate it to make it readable. Friend all the endorsed contributors, filter out all the flairs but 'red pill example' "ltr" "fitness... if you can handle bro science" and it's a much better place. Otherwise, it reminds me of Selma having Hans Molemans kids. Small doses though. the best part of here Vs. TRP is the focus here is on the man, owning and fixing his shit. All that womanly bullshit is completely irrelevant... because it is, and hard to work on frame when all you do online is post angrily on women.

Title	Do you regret getting married?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	50
Date	October 17, 2015 5:38 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3p4t7o/do_you_regret_getting_married/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/do-you-regret-getting-married.208012 https://theredarchive.com/post/208012

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