Explosive AM

creating_my_life · 2017-06-10T17:33:40+00:00

GF has to get up this AM to take her Grandmother to run some errands.

What a good granddaughter. not your issue.

asks me to pick up a coffee while she's getting dressed and some food for the kids. she'll order on the app and i'll just go in and get it.

She used "the kids" as leverage for you to be her manservant. Gotta be careful with this one. If she asked you to JUST get coffee for her, that's a test. However, you gotta take care of your kids, so she bundled this one wisely. You're playing with a master.

She orders , i head to pick it up.. and boom only 1/2 the order is there , some technical issue.

Not your problem.

I dont have a copy of what she ordered, so i call , get her in the shower and shes all yelling WTF.. i try to order what i can hear. and get home

Sounds like a responsible attempt to solve the problem at hand.

All hell breaks loose and she is losing her shit..

She's allowed to lose her shit. You're allowed to not give a fuck (DNGAF) and leave the room.

im a pussy , i cant handle a simple task, im a pushover and will take whatver they give me, fuck me , im an asshole i dont care about anyone else etc....

It's surprising you heard all that. You should have walked out. Staying to listen to the tirade is empowering her.

i'm just like really its fucking coffee and donuts, im not taking your shit for the store fucking up when i dont know what you ordered.

What you didn't hear was, "I have a golden pussy and I fucking settled for you. You've put on 30 pounds and no other woman wants to fuck you so why should I? I should have fucked the pool boy last week or married the guy who's now a dentist. Then I'd be driving a mercedes. Instead I settled for your ass and you don't even fuck me hard."

told her im tired of this shit ,

Words are a woman's domain. Actions are a man's domain. Don't fight with her weapons. She's better than you.

she wants it , she can go and get it and deal with the stores fuck-ups there.

Save this for next time. "Get coffee for me." "Can't. Busy."

just seems to be the opposite of how i deal with things , you know there is a risk of a messed up order , but i dont rant and rave about it , if it happens and personally attack my partner for somone elses mistake she then stormed off slamming doors and yelling on the way out..

She testing to see how much of a pussy you are. Seems like you're a pussy.

im considering cancelling a dinner i planned with her tonight

I would. I don't reward bad behavior.

and just saying fuck it , if this is how your gonna be , i dont want to spend my money on that kind of night not like im not taking care of shit around the house..

Don't say. Do. Cancel dinner. Leave the house. Go to the gym. Start a project at home. MAKE YOUR OWN DINNER TONIGHT, heck even for wife and kids. Make it simple. When she says, "isn't it time to get ready for dinner?" You say, "cancelled." DO NOT FOR A FUCKING MOMENT EXPLAIN WHY. She's a smart girl. She'll get it.

hell yesterday i successfully had a legal matter against us dismissed and re-negotiated a lease on our place.

You're prioritizing "us" over "you". Put "you" number 1.

Ideas?? Comments??

You're a pussy and not leading your marriage. This whole note was about HER and how you can't even get goddamn coffee FOR HER. Man the fuck up.

Edit its not a stock order, she cycles through a few different drinks, so its not like i should know how she takes her coffee .

She should know how YOU like YOUR coffee. Get it?

SteelToeShitKicker · 2017-06-10T17:10:38+00:00

im an asshole i dont care about anyone else etc....

Yep, but I'm an asshole with two coffees now. <Walks out the door.>

stonepimpletilists · 2017-06-10T18:49:46+00:00

I guess thats her last coffee from you.

man_in_the_world · 2017-06-11T01:53:50+00:00

You're completely backwards on the proper response. You should have poured the coffee in the sink, thrown the donuts in the trash, and tell her "OK, you had better get it yourself then" and immediately leave for work. But then carry on with your dinner plans as if nothing that happened earlier had any effect on your frame (which of course it shouldn't).

It's a pussy move to take that kind of shit from her when you're doing her a favor, and it's a pussy move to carry over feeeelingz and a grudge from an earlier interaction. Alphas respond immediately to bad behavior, and move on. They don't have time or fucks to waste dwelling on the past.

Scurvemuch · 2017-06-10T17:12:21+00:00

..im a pussy , i cant handle a simple task, im a pushover and will take whatver they give me, fuck me

lol.

bye

for clarification , leave and come back in about a week.

UEMcGill · 2017-06-10T18:52:28+00:00

How come no one asked whose kids they were?

Seems like important info.

prarrott · 2017-06-10T16:50:58+00:00

I dont have a copy of what she ordered, so i call

Should have just ordered whatever you thought was needed. When you get home, she's upset because its wrong? She can deal.

All hell breaks loose and she is losing her shit..im a pussy , i cant handle a simple task, im a pushover and will take whatver they give me, fuck me , im an asshole i dont care about anyone else etc...

Catch you later. out the door

im considering cancelling a dinner i planned with her tonight and just saying fuck it , if this is how your gonna be , i dont want to spend my money on that kind of night

Do whatever you feel like doing, but don't blame her for your choice. Its your life, own it.

BluepillProfessor · 2017-06-10T22:49:48+00:00

How would you react if your 9 year old daughter threw a hissy fit?

Do that.

donedreadpirate · 2017-06-10T17:51:02+00:00

One time, like 6+ years ago, I "planted trees in the wrong place". I planted them exactly where I said I was going to plant them. She thought they were inches in the wrong direction and I got wicked butthurt about it. I used to always make the mistake of engaging her ridiculous assertions, like she was worthy of me entertaining them. Funny how it never resolved anything...

war_drunk · 2017-06-10T18:00:11+00:00

What led up to her calling you a pussy? My girl calls me plenty of things, but most assuredly not a pussy. There's backstory to this, and it ain't good. Forget about handling this 'incident', get back to basics and work on leading.

BobbyPeru · 2017-06-10T19:14:40+00:00

Take leadership- tell her what you order, and say you will pick it up.

You are in her frame under her leadership. Fix that, and all the other BS fades away.

TaistoKarhu · 2017-06-10T22:04:05+00:00

It seems like your GF is running the show. I think you should work to reach a place where you know what and how the kids need for breakfast. She can worry about her granny. As the saying goes, imagine if you led a single life without her, and do that. In a while you can tell her to order breakfast with the app when you need that and wonder what to do with her later that night if she fucked up the order somehow.

Personally, I'm still struggling with it as my wife is and always has been an organization crazy woman, but when I get ahead of her for a day I know that's how it shoulda be. I get a good feeling for having the steering wheel all day for myself and she feels good for being able to just help me out. It aint easy, but thats how it should be.

saysomestuff · 2017-06-10T19:22:12+00:00

Buy a coffee machine. Problem solved.

ParadoxThatDrivesUs · 2017-06-10T23:45:35+00:00

Checked your history. You've been lurking for at least a year. By now you should be far enough along that this sort of thing doesn't even come up. As of last year, you said you were not lifting because you wanted to focus on finances.

So, do you even lift?

shneakypete · 2017-06-10T18:55:53+00:00

Shark week?

Whenever it's my girls shark weeks she's snippy. I just say "fix your attitude" and I head out and go do my own thing until she's cooled down.

CaptainJackSorrow · 2017-06-11T00:03:55+00:00

"If this is your idea of problem solving in a relationship, then either you need to re-evaluate your communication skills or I need to re-evaluate my choice of girlfriends."

red-pill-man · 2017-06-11T01:41:27+00:00

You went out for an ordered breakfast? Pussy.

HangingSalami · 2017-06-11T13:26:31+00:00

Whoa this LTR is a train wreck. Dude...never get her shit. WTF are you a puppy dog? Next time tell her to let you fuck her in the ass first!

InvincibleKraken · 2017-06-12T13:41:44+00:00

Look, you write this FR like this is the first time this happened and you are completely blown away by it and taken aback and have no clue where it came from or what to do. The reality is, this happens to you often, and probably daily. Perhaps even multiple times each day.

The issue is boundaries. You have exactly zero boundaries in your relationship. So, you get what you deserve. In fact, you get what you've trained her to give.

What do you do? Exactly what you said--but with some teeth. So you pick up her order, it's wrong, she takes it out on you, calls you names, screams and yells, you put the food on the counter and leave the house. Just walk out. Don't reply to texts, don't answer the phone, go and do something for yourself, and when you return, STFU about where you were and what you were doing. Ask her how her breakfast was, what her plans for the day, i.e., act as though nothing was wrong. If she throws a fit again, do the same thing.

Get your ego in check. No one cares that you re-negotiated a lease. Where else are you failing? She sees each and every one of those failures.

Then, begin setting personal boundaries. Whether you communicate them to her or not is up to you, but you have to set them and be clear about them in your own mind and follow through with them.

You said this is your girlfriend? Why do guys keep putting themselves through this crap for women they aren't even legally attached to? Have you considered you can move on? Just move on. Except that you have low self-esteem, you "need" her, and you're still stuck on one-itis. But that's a whole other problem.

tslextslex · 2017-06-13T21:21:25+00:00

This is a parody post, right?

Because, if not, someone needs a spanking.

Title	Explosive AM
Author	Venge97RI
Upvotes	6
Comments	46
Date	June 10, 2017 4:27 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6gg3zb/explosive_am/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/explosive-am.206026 https://theredarchive.com/post/206026

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