Outside Perception

RPJMRP · 2017-08-11T21:25:17+00:00

I don't know how those other people perceive your relationship so I cannot answer that question.

What I can answer is how to respond. First, does it deeply offend you in some way? It shouldn't. Is your ego so unmanageable that you can't take some ribbing?

Second, who cares what someone thinks if you are getting your needs met?

You just finished stating you are new here. It is most likely true that your wife has worn the pants for awhile. Take your time, own your shit and perceptions will change over time. Or they won't, but does it really matter if you're happy?

If your personal contentment is based on other's views of you and your relationship, how the fuck do you ever create a vision for the life you desire?

Again- laugh with them and run with the joke. If it deeply offends you in some way, then deal with the issue in a masculine manner. Personally, I think laughing with someone and using "agree and amplify" in this scenario is where I would go.

What will really blow your mind is a year from now when someone says this and your wife sets them straight. That kind of response is earned.

Welcome, get to lifting, stop worrying about others and start creating your life.

BigAjax · 2017-08-11T22:32:17+00:00

Where does this rank on your list of shit to give a fuck about? If it moves the needle at all, your frame is so weak that it's a sure bet that your wife does wear the pants, no matter what bullshit story about "swallowing the red pill" you've sold yourself

SgtSilverBack · 2017-08-12T04:59:50+00:00

Anyone: Your wife wears the pants in the marriage.

You:. Chuckle......No, I don't let her wear clothes in the house.

Own it, people have been trained to think a man being man is bad. Fuck them. Live your life how you want without regret and you will answer those questions without regret also.

2ndal · 2017-08-11T21:20:18+00:00

How you're handling it now, while you're still absorbing all of this information, is fine.

It's hard to say with your situation based on what little information you've provided, but I have found that when other men make comments like this it's more about how they have been conditioned to think that way or a reflection of their own relationships. However, my relationship with my wife is different from yours, so YMMV.

blarggggggggggg · 2017-08-11T22:14:40+00:00

Agree and amplify

Downhere_Seeds · 2017-08-11T21:58:45+00:00

If they ask you a question or want to make plans and you're first response is, "Let me talk to my wife" or if you are conferring to your wife's opinion things while talking to them, then this is definitely a perception thing. Be more assertive at making decisions for yourself and this should go away with time.

jagged_edge_pill · 2017-08-11T23:40:20+00:00

Oh yea, she wears all of them, sometimes two at a time !

JDRoedell · 2017-08-12T02:26:59+00:00

You say this is your first post so I'm going to guess you are new to MRP.

People are saying this probably because it appears that way, probably because it's true. Don't worry yet, you're in the right place to fix it.

Should it bother you? Depends how much you care about living the life you want. I disagree with those who say it shouldn't bother you... It should, and it should make you want to be a better man and be a man who leads his wife and family.

You can AA these kind of comments once you're a legit masculine man who wears the pants.

Get to sidebaring. Absorb the experiences discussed here and apply them.

phd253sll · 2017-08-12T05:24:40+00:00

I like it better when she wears no pants

BobbyPeru · 2017-08-11T22:11:43+00:00

Your post is very vague, so it is hard to tell the context. I'm guessing the context is that you've been beta for so long that friends and family recognize her as being the one who wears the pants. This perception Is just going to be something you're going to have to accept, and it will change slowly over time. You just have to keep doing the work.

TL;Dr-- STFU and keep doing the work

nooomaam · 2017-08-12T01:23:11+00:00

Well... does she?

On top of that - lifting and reading may be glorious - but what are you reading / how is it going? And what are you lifting?

And did you check with your wife before you started going to the gym regularly? (I'm being sarcastic)

simbarlion · 2017-08-12T05:51:28+00:00

This is about as clear a message that you are BETA AS FUCK.

Say what you like but it means fuck all until you change yourself and look / act like a man who wears the pants and make the decisions.

My experience is that you MUST underplay the verbal mrp skills until you have mastered the unseen skills. Aka lift, lose weight, stfu.

88Will88 · 2017-08-12T06:27:09+00:00

You want to know how you respond? By growing the fuck up. Lift, focus on your mission and become a leader. You think anybody says to Mike Tyson or Vladimir Putin "your wife wears the pants?" What does that say about you?

Persaeus · 2017-08-12T10:53:07+00:00

No one has ever told me my wife wears the pants in the family even though she mostly wears pants

dandar4600 · 2017-08-12T12:08:59+00:00

That perception exists because it has been that way for a while. All you can do is read, lift and take charge in your marriage and eventually that perception will change...or it won't. But as long as you get laid and are being treated with respect by your wife it doesn't really matter.

stonepimpletilists · 2017-08-12T22:05:42+00:00

Poke fun. Hillary clinton is a fetishes for me, so more pants

ais4awkward · 2017-08-12T10:10:30+00:00

Here comes an unpopular opinion from someone who thinks that, while a few of the things mentioned here are relevant and helpful, the page is mostly complete and utter bullshit and will get you nowhere with a good woman/in a healthy relationship:

You shouldn't care what they say.
You shouldn't care if your woman takes charge of things sometimes, but you should be able to take charge equally easily.
Try talking to her about how it makes you feel. If she doesn't care or invalidates you, she's not the one for you.
You could also ask those others why they say that your wife "wears the pants", or why it matters so much to them.

Title	Outside Perception
Author	Kr1sKross
Upvotes	5
Comments	20
Date	August 11, 2017 9:16 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6t48lf/outside_perception/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/outside-perception.205690 https://theredarchive.com/post/205690

Comments