Relationship Mission Statements - Cross Post from MarriedRedPill

stonepimpletilists · 2016-06-23T18:37:28+00:00

Acta non verba. She isn't your project manager, this is a sophisticated way of being spreadsheet man. If she thinks you're a putz already, this will only give her reason to shit all over it.

Don't give her anything, be the man you want to be, eventually, you'll see yourself as the prize, and she'll get in line, or get out of the way

killingblueme · 2016-06-23T18:19:47+00:00

This is a Harville Hendrix idea from "Getting the Love you Want". May show up in other places too, but that is where I remember it from in my non-RP readings.

Men lead by making decisions, women lead by consensus. Mission statements are consensus building exercises.

Here is the problem: If your marriage is in a bad place, if you have been the drunk captain and have not been leading, the joint mission statement is a weak ass attempt to get validation from the spouse without having to change or grow up and have the ability to really follow through or lead on it. It is pseudo-captaining: "Let's make a mission statement together" isn't really leading, now is it?

Are you hoping to get your wife to "buy in" to your vision? Do you have anything solid inside you to project your mission and your goals into the marriage (i.e. do you HAVE any frame at all)? Are you willing to be a leader or do you want to co-captain? What is YOUR mission, what is YOUR vision for the relationship?

Write your own if you want to I suppose. But until you have your own mission and are living it, there is nothing for her to follow, and a nice, committee-created mission statement with all it's politically correct language and softened tone isn't going to get her on board with anything.

PemBayliss · 2016-06-23T18:59:37+00:00

If you do write out a relationship mission statement, keep it to yourself, do not show it to your wife/SO, and do not even let her know you've written it or even have it.

Your mission statement shouldn't even be a "relationship" mission statement. It should be a u/kickaxe mission statement that you demonstrate to her through your acts. She can then sign on by following, or not.

sh0ckley · 2016-06-23T19:49:05+00:00

I did this around 18 months ago on brink of divorce. It might have held my shit together for long enough to find my way here (in a motherly sort of way lol)

but since you're here...

Fuck that.

Make one yourself and then follow it. If she steps in behind you then good and if not then also good because you ~~shouldn't~~ won't care if you're doing what men around here are doing.

Remember that what women say they want is ~~rarely~~ never exactly what they want.

Adderallabuse · 2016-06-23T23:59:23+00:00

A horrible idea.

Women work on relationships and by doing so you have adopted her frame and the feminine role. If your woman sees this statement than her Gina will instantly dry up.

alphabeta49 · 2016-06-24T00:01:37+00:00

Yeah, that's a great idea. I haven't done this, but after thinking about it, I will now. I think a document that symbolizes the marriage covenant and the common road we are on together is appropriate. Sort of like a vision for what we want our relationship to look like, the points we can agree on.

Plus, when either of us veers off or has a bad day, the other one can either silently resent the offending party, or verbally bash them over the head with it.

No thanks.

rocknrollchuck · 2016-06-23T22:36:23+00:00

Make one for your eyes only, to keep yourself on course. If you make a shared one, not only will it be a Display of Low Value but she will also use it against you every chance she gets "But I thought our Mission Statement said............, and now you're not even going to do it?"

SexistFlyingPig · 2016-06-24T02:11:52+00:00

It should be clear in your mind what your mission is with your woman. That doesn't mean you should talk about it.

ACT. Don't TALK about acting.

SteelToeShitKicker · 2016-06-24T12:45:29+00:00

In companies, these are, at best, marketing fluff. Why would I want to bring bureaucratic bullshit into my relationship?

spexer · 2016-06-24T13:19:06+00:00

are you listening? This is the same feedback you got on MRP. Doing this is a bad idea.

Not sure why you are cross-posting this.

MaxLorenz · 2016-06-24T17:22:57+00:00

Done right, the relationship mission statement can bring an Omega man up to co-captain status. No, that's not the final destination, but it's a quick way to make some serious progress.

It also becomes a way to win every future fight with your wife: http://www.husbandpower.com/2016/06/23/how-to-win-every-argument-with-your-wife/

If you're strong enough to start with the personal mission statement and make it stick with your family, then more power to you. But recognize that not everyone can cover this gap in one leap.

redearththeory · 2016-06-24T17:53:31+00:00

Write your Vision for your life. Spend some time working on a plan to deliver it. Consider your family as part of your current team. There is a book called extreme ownership that could help with the team and the plan.

screechhater · 2016-06-24T22:26:52+00:00

WTF ? Seriously ?

"set a solid course" ...... called the side bar. Read, STFU and lift

While lifting and in a euphoric state of mind, it will become clear

redpillnobody · 2016-06-24T01:42:51+00:00

Title	Relationship Mission Statements - Cross Post from MarriedRedPill
Author	Kickaxe
Upvotes	2
Comments	21
Date	June 23, 2016 6:17 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4pi6rf/relationship_mission_statements_cross_post_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/relationship-mission-statements-cross-post-from.207370 https://theredarchive.com/post/207370

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