The answer is always the same?

dukewayneismyhero · 2022-10-26T11:02:51+00:00

Reread the book. The whole focus of MRP is “fix the man, not the marriage.”

It seems like you’re doing things for the wrong reason. You expect her to respond and you’re angry that she’s not, so you have this massive covert contract that begins with “if I” and ends with “then she should.”

You gotta get past that. “If I” with no following “then she (or anyone else, for that matter) should”. For example, “If I take a week on a solo trip, I should be able to focus on what I want out of life, steps to get there” NOT “then that should scare her into wanting to blow me wearing lingerie.

BobbyPeru · 2022-10-26T09:55:47+00:00

She is not scared one bit that women want to fuck you.

And B) She doesn’t think you could game and screw other women if you wanted to - Whether that’s because she thinks you don’t have the gaming ability and attractiveness is the first question. Just because you are meeting hundreds of people and having a decent social life doesn’t mean women want you

So — either..

She doesn’t think women do want to screw you

OR

She doesn’t think you’d do it given the chance)

So, question to you… why do you think she’s not worried you might screw other women?

It’s an important question - dig deep and be truthful (to yourself). Have you had any recent discussions about cheating? The clue might be there.

sicrm · 2022-10-26T12:48:59+00:00

whether you realize it or not, you’re basing too much of your life around her.

by a lot of metrics you’re doing well, but you’re still basing success on what your wife does or doesn’t do and she’s picking up on that.

SBIII · 2022-10-26T11:09:52+00:00

Three options:

Keep repeating what you're doing
Do something else. 3.

mrpthrowa · 2022-10-26T10:14:25+00:00

You have a giant covert contract. Read NMMNG again.

In your mind your logic is like this: I improve myself, i am a better person, therefore she should improve herself.

She is likely sensing this contract, and so she resists. She knows you're trying to be better to get more of her desire and pussy. Do you know how low value that makes you? to do all that shit just for some pussy? you're telegraphing that her pussy and desire is worth so much.

Tips?

Figure out what your goal is. This goal shouldn't involve her at all. Can you work on formulating this now?

I would like to experience true desire for a moment - that is why I do this self imrpovement journey

sad

NoAARPforMe · 2022-10-26T12:35:07+00:00

I initiate 90%+ of the times. If I want a blowjob, I tell her when and where I want this to take place, including right here, right now. If you want her in lingerie, tell her what to wear or lay it out for her. Your woman should be providing enthusiastic, frequent sex. I am OK initiating because I know I can have good sex whenever I want it, however I want it. All I do is initiate from a place of desire....not validation.

Don't wait for her. You are making a lot of good things happen in your life. Make the sex part happen also. You decide what you want, when and where and how. Her part is to be an enthusiastic, adventurous sex partner.
Don't make this overly complicated. Don't wait on her.

I am not a fan of sex on her timetable....Sex is on my timetable.

Tyred_Biggums · 2022-10-26T11:11:38+00:00

Time to start at ground zero. You’re lifting. Good. Stfu and read the sidebar. Post in OYS.

You have a lot of tit for tat expectations (aka covert contracts). Why is your ego so fragile if you don’t get validation from her you get angry?

It’s also clear your leadership sucks with your wife. You expect things but do not lead her whatsoever.

And if you’re seeking to actively dread her or are doing activities for the sole purpose of HER response, you don’t get it it. She does not matter in this equation only you.

Also - your career improvement is a shitty mission. No idea why you’re so wrapped up in your work that you base that for your sole meaning in life.

intothegreatbelow · 2022-10-26T11:52:27+00:00

As someone else pointed out, you need to re-read NMMNG. You "read it a few years ago" and "might read it again" because you "know the theory".

That's all bullshit. I know because you're post is covert contracts all the way down. Your head is still squarely in the space where you're blatantly doing shit, expecting some reaction from your wife, getting pissed that she's not responding like you think she should.

You can absolutely have wants and expectations as a man. However, my guess is you are nowhere near what another woman would consider "high value" and your wife knows it. All this shit as it stands is where we all start from - being pissed that our wives aren't giving us what we think we deserve. Only when you break that shit down entirely and own up to the fact that you suck and you've created this life for yourself, can you truly start to see the path forward.

Read, lift, stop expecting your wife to do shit when you haven't done shit.

lrfsdad · 2022-10-26T12:09:19+00:00

Have you read mmslp? I'm pretty sure it's a prerequisite to MRP. Lots of great advice on being fun leading et cetera.

muzzy_W0e · 2022-10-26T13:29:15+00:00

You didn't post your height, weight or body fat percentage.

TL DR Be attractive?

It really is that ~~easy~~ simple. Why should she put in any effort when she knows the chances of you leaving her are 0%? She's doing you a favor staying with you and no woman would actually get with you once they got to know you. You're more unattractive than you think.

TheZimboKing · 2022-10-26T12:29:32+00:00

I find marriage totally pointless if you are not pursuing a grand mission TOGETHER.

Imo, "career" is a weak mission. You work for shelter and fokin food. Career is too small, too ordinary and too finite for her to find meaning and purpose in.

So what is the mission?

How are you a leader to her in said mission?

Does she believe that you matter in the grand scheme of life? What's in it for her to support your mission? Why should her body desire to spawn offspring for someone that really has no point in the grand scheme of things?

r/rpchristians have it figured out in their own way.

Maybe it's time you do.

Edit: and yes you will continue to circle your wife who is well enough letting you fuck her because her ~~raw desire~~ opinion of you matters more than your own opinion of yourself.

Bang when you want to and focus on your mission.

olebobman · 2022-10-26T18:50:40+00:00

Do you have any tips?

Accept the fact that MRP is about the man - only. Others have said it better than I can... When I initially came to TRP/MRP in my situation a handful of years back now, I had to internalize and expect the fact that this journey was for me and me only. Your SO will only follow if; 1. You are worth it, 2. She wants to follow, & 3. You want her around. You still need to internalize the sidebar material. Books like NMMNG & WISNIFG should be re-read and looked back on.

PutABabyInThat · 2022-10-27T01:16:58+00:00

Yeah that's the answer. You're focused on solving the wrong problem though.

The idea here is that becoming more attractive (in all ways/to everyone) gives you more opportunities to get the things that you want.

Just look at what happened with your career and how that has affected your social life.

As you become more attractive, your wife might become attracted to you. But she might not.

And if not, you'll eventually have so many options that it she won't even matter.

adeptintact · 2022-10-27T18:53:25+00:00

You're too wrapped up in her frame and her reactions. You sound like you don't have kids with her which makes it easier.

I think you should pick up on other girls and cheat. See if you are a high value man like you say you are. Then divorce her if she still doesn't give you the sex you want.

Title	The answer is always the same?
Author	dubromx87
Upvotes	21
Comments	47
Date	October 26, 2022 9:40 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/ydtu15/the_answer_is_always_the_same/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/the-answer-is-always-the-same.1137266 https://theredarchive.com/post/1137266

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