It's been a month or so since I discovered TRP. Victim Puke post was 27 days ago:

https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4rifcm/advice_for_where_i_am/

Finished NMMNG, MAP, on the last chapter of WISNIFG. Really starting to get the value out of them at the end. I see manipulative/controlling behavior and recognize it in myself - ineffective whining, sulking, etc.

I've lost ~10 lbs. Joined a gym. Started lifting. Going out a little more with friends. Dressing a little better. Recognizing shit tests and dealing with them /better/. Mostly STFU and fogging.

Posting some of the social elements of my consulting lifestyle (conference after-parties, meetups, etc). In the middle of a 3-leg tour. Will be gone for 10 days.

I've spent a lot of years passively displaying low value, so withdrawl/absence isn't really much of a consequence. She doesn't like to be physically around me.I do want to put some boundaries in place and be honest about my emotions (eg no sulking). Classic alpha displays now won't work as she sees me as low value.

Interesting story: I was home last weekend. On Saturday, wife+oldest are out, I'm home /w youngest and middle daughters. Middle daughter is 11, starting some body changes, doesn't want to be around me & runs off with youngest. I'm not going to force this; I go clean the garage.

Wife gets home and goes off on me about my priorities, she doesn't need my help, now she won't be able to find anything, etc. I maintain frame. "I'm sorry I cleaned the garage" (A&A was pretty clear.)

~12 hours later, wife:

"I'm sorry I over-reacted to your cleaning the garage. It is cleaner now. Thank you, it's just that" -> Followed by 45-seconds of her ranting about how it's a problem, my priorities are screwed up, she can't find anything, etc.

I reply:

"You're welcome"

That is, I replied to the statement "thank you" and ignored the rest. She walks away "whaat?" and convo ends.

I get on a plane monday and get to work.

Just now: I texted my wife please remind middle child to do an agreed-on chore. Her reply:

"You suck. It's mean to rub it in my face that you're on vacation by posting pics on fb every few hours."

Two options occur me to:

  1. Ignore. don't feed what you don't want to grow. I have better things to do than to respond to silly texts.
  2. "That is, of course, totally what I’m doing, because, after all, it must be all about you."

My guess is if I do #2 she'll unfriend me on FB, which she did ~1 year ago.

I'm going with #1. But I think face to face I may need to say soon "When you insult me I get angry. I want you to stop doing that." -> probably next reply to a face to face.

Interested in your thoughts.