Throwaway because wife and I frequent the same reddit forums.

Me: Age 49, 6'2, 210lbs, runner, lift weights 3x a week, run 5+ miles 2 to 3 days a week.

Her: 49, professional, highly stressed at work, premenopausal, good shape, takes care of herself, married six years.

I'm new to MRP, read NMMNG a year ago and did the exercises over the last year. Got a lot from that book and a number of people have commented on my assertiveness at work over the last year. I Just finished reading Athol Kay's MMSLP. Wife has commented on my improved fitness and she has told me she has seen women "admiring me." I meet my guy friends once a week for a beer, wife has asked if women come to those hangouts. I say all this because I'm sensing some dread. At the same time she trusts me fully so I don't sense her dread increasing much.

I'd like feedback on how I handled the following on our anniversary:

We went to dinner for our anniversary the other night. Got her a nice gift which highly outspent her gift to me, she was embarrassed by her gift to me, I played it like I didn't care because I really didn't care about how much she spent on me or that her gift was kind of lame. We have a nice meal, great conversation, really good bottle of wine. We catch an uber home and head to the bedroom. She goes into the bathroom for a little while and I think she is changing into something sexy and I go ahead and change into some my nice boxers that she likes me to wear for special occasions when we have sex. While she is in the bathroom she comments to me that it's two hours past our usual bed time and I knew right then she was setting me up for some sort of quickie sex because she is going to claim she is tired. She comes out of the bathroom and she is wearing her typical everyday pajamas and she turns out the light before she can see that I am wearing the sexy boxers. She gets into bed and gives a big yawn and I asked her if she wanted to make love. She answered with "We can if you want to." I thought to myself that given the way she was behaving that this was going to be boring pump and dumb starfish sex, so I told her to never mind. She then said, "It's just late and I'm really tired and we have work tomorrow, but we can make love if you want to." I calmly said to her, "I see how it is, I can see that you really don't want to." and I stood up out of bed, turned on the light so I could see, took off the sexy boxers and put on my more comfortable shorts I like to sleep in. It was then she realized that I put the sexy boxers on for her and she said again, "We can have sex if you want to." I looked at her and said, "I'm not interested in having sex when you have made it plenty clear that it is going to be a chore for you, let's just go to sleep so we both feel good at work tomorrow." She started saying sorry a bunch of times, told me again we can do it, started kissing on my neck, but I just calmly said, "It's ok, I'm going to sleep now, goodnight," and that is what I did. A super calm exchange, very chill, no hint of anger or disappointment came from me. I slept pretty well too.

The next morning she was up before me to go to work, she apologized again and I told her that it's not her job to meet my needs when she doesn't want to. She looked at me kind of stunned and a little hurt. I didn't say any more, had my coffee, wished her a good day, and went on my run.

It's been about five days since that happened and she's been kissing on me more and I can tell that if I wanted to fuck her I could, but I haven't. I'm meeting my guy friends today after work and I wanted some askMRP input because they are not on the same self improvement journey that I am working on.

How did I do, and any thoughts on next steps?

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