Girlfriend texting another guy

Willow-girl · 2017-01-22T13:15:17+00:00

I'd like, obviously because a year has been invested,

Beware of the sunk cost fallacy. If she's already hitting up other men after only a year, this does not bode well for long-term fidelity.

All_Ads_Deceive · 2017-01-22T13:13:33+00:00

One night my ex gf got a drunk text from a guy while she was sleeping in my bed. I looked and it turns out he'd been hitting on her through text for 2 weeks. She wasn't reciprocating but wasn't shooting him down either. Similar to with your LTR.

I told her in the morning she needs to shut guys down immediately and not keep back up plans. She tried to guilt me saying I was controlling and she was allowed to interact with guys.

I said she's free to do whatever she wants but no gf of mine would allow guys to hit on her without her telling them off. I didn't have a problem with it again

Sensei_Hensei · 2017-01-22T13:30:00+00:00

One sided my ass...she didn't give him her number or take his for nothing. Women aren't toddlers they know that male female friendships are bullshit. She either wants him or wants his validation.

red-pill-questions · 2017-01-22T14:15:15+00:00

How extreme does the advice of "just next her" sound to you?

What is it you feel you NEED from this woman? An LTR which leads to marriage? What is it that you are afraid of losing?

I'm of the opinion that "if you feel you have to train her then you've already fucked up". She either is or isnt ltr material. You might be too close to the situation to wee clearly.

Some might say there's the option of demoting her to plate, but that often is poorly executed by guys here and they just end up continuing to date their girl, accepting their red flags and justifying it with "oh, well she's only a plate so it doesn't matter". If you were publically dating and she is known as your gf to friends/family, you can't demote, or at least are a fool for thinking you can. Which is why women try to sink their teeth into your life (meet your family, friends, her friends); they want you to feel commited. Ans congratulations, after only 1 year you feel like it's a big deal to next her. A year is nothing. Accepting red flag after red flag is the mistake. And you can't rectify them by telling her to change her behaviour. She either is or isnt the type of girl you want in an ltr. Dont fool yourself.

DonaldBaelish · 2017-01-22T13:45:05+00:00

AWALT. Women love attention. Your LTR wanted attention and got it from some random orbiter who has nothing better to do than chat with her untill 3 in the morning. All because of the thrill , possibly. Trust but verify still aplies , did you check the whole conversation? I believe it was all for validation , which is still a red flag.

But you know what else is a red flag? Going out and getting drunk with your "girlfriends" while in an LTR. Sure , go do activities with your two faced friends , gossip and talk about the whole town , have a drink or two. Thats normal female behaviour. But getting drunk and doing retarded shit is a No Go. You failed to vet your girl or failed to set boundaries. Having a future with such a woman is a absolutely idiotic.

Also , a pleasant LTR will not make you go past level 4. Go back and actually read BPP's post.

Imarobot2 · 2017-01-22T16:27:25+00:00

Similar story:

My ex went out drinking one night, came over after and passed out. I was trying to fall asleep and heard her phone go off. I check and it's a text from a random number saying "get home safe" or some bs. Shortly after, she branch swung.

She's entertaining the possibility by not shutting him down. Keep that in mind.

TitsAndWhiskey · 2017-01-22T21:48:09+00:00

You mean your ex-girlfriend

HotStickySemen · 2017-01-22T13:09:06+00:00

You're already applying dread,something inside you tells to dump her and you don't want to be treated like that.So what are you waiting for?Plenty of women out there.She's been with you for 1 year,has probably gotten bored so don't worry about it.Either keep her around and fuck her from time to time or dump her.Talking to her about it shows that your frame is broken and that you have been bothered by her behaviour.Don't be bothered by anything.

teolinzo · 2017-01-22T18:24:14+00:00

I've been read my some of your responses to the comments and I think it's important you remember "she's not yours it's just your turn." Even thought you say you are more prepared than ever to drop her it doesn't sound like it because you keep making up excuses and giving her exceptions to the rules. You mention the time you have invested which should not make a difference in your decision to deal with this. Using that excuse makes it sound a bit like ONEitis. You're only 30 and there are millions of other girls out there for you to date and form something new with.

The only ways to deal with it are to squash it right now and hope it never happens again (not what I would do) or cut it off and move on. (What I would do) good luck.

hawkeaglejesus · 2017-01-22T20:01:47+00:00

I personally don't think 12 levels of dread will work here because I'm already most if not all those things.

If you really were, she wouldn't be going out and getting drunk at 3AM.

If dread is working as it should, she would know that such an action would risk her losing you.

Either A) you're not dreading her, or B) she doesn't care about losing you

flashbang123 · 2017-01-22T20:16:43+00:00

You know what to do....she rattled your cage pretty hard with almost zero effort on her part. It doesn't look like you will ever be able to trust her against. I can tell you are in denial.

fcb98292 · 2017-01-22T14:35:33+00:00

Dude, if you nail her on texting, all she has to do is get a second phone. If you dont trust her, set a few traps for her. If she passes, then keep trusting but ALWAYS verify. We all flirt. If you find out there is someone else in her mind (if not in her cunt) then find out quietly. The methods are in these threads.

SisyphosOnTop · 2017-01-22T14:12:41+00:00

I know this isn't probably what you wanted to hear but from my experience I'd dump her asap to spare yourself from further emotional damage, brainfuck and humiliation. Unless you are a masochist and like to experience burning hate and wrath, burning so bright you are blinded by it and become emotionally crippled feeling nothing.

Fagitdild0r8p · 2017-01-22T17:01:03+00:00

Dump her.

al_bin · 2017-01-23T00:10:24+00:00

Get out now. I ignored this shit early on. My wonderful wife started an affair 60 days into our marriage, after I warned her the texting at the wrong hours with another man was leading to the end of us. Get out now, or be prepared to pay $3-5k for a divorce.

The__Tren__Train · 2017-01-22T18:44:11+00:00

i'd say next, ghost, or plate

topapito · 2017-01-22T19:51:27+00:00

Never let them see you bleed. N.E.V.E.R.

Next her, no reason, no explanations, no questions. And most certainly no recapping the relationship. Act naturally and do not make a big deal out of anything. Quit calling her after she leaves normally. Fuck her if she comes by, if you want. But never talk about why you went cold. You just did.

baiconko · 2017-01-23T07:33:53+00:00

Aren't you overreacting a little bit? I mean, "ok, have pleasant dreams" is nothing. Even if its 3 am, what is the big deal? The important thing is what they were talking about.

absolucion · 2017-01-22T20:29:14+00:00

I'd bring it up in conversation and tell her it's unacceptable (because it isn't). She can hamster all she wants but she can either be committed to you or entertain every thirsty guy who comes sniffing in her direction. She may accuse you of being territorial, possessive, etc. but that's just hamstering on her part. The fact of the matter is that she wouldn't be happy were the roles were reversed (although she may say she doesn't mind just so she can keep this up).

Stand your ground and be explicit with your expectations if you intend to spend a significant amount of time with her. If you give her an inch, she will most likely take a mile.

YungBoi16 · 2017-01-22T16:09:15+00:00

1.) I am guessing your ltr is white

2.) Ltr should never drink

3.) Ltr shouldn't have "girlfriends"

4.) She needs to be born in a foreign country

Next her bro, you deserve better than this trash. If you follow these rules. You'll have an amazing LTR.

meh613 · 2017-01-22T19:37:24+00:00

Dose of one-itis, u/Jani1157?

Title	Girlfriend texting another guy
Author	Jani1157
Upvotes	37
Comments	70
Date	January 22, 2017 1:02 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5pgsj5/girlfriend_texting_another_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/girlfriend-texting-another-guy.336 https://theredarchive.com/post/336

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