I don't get why guys get married

Velebit · 2017-07-26T07:47:27+00:00

Marriage used to be a contract between two people, you know, you sign something and than that is that and you are honor bound to make it work, yeah the concept of honor is foreign to hedonistic selfish fickle people of 21st century

also courts tend to favor women in the west, not so much in the east or south, so even a good prenup will be discarded by courts

Marriage has nothing to do with love, it is a contract between two people to combine resources and raise kids, today people view it as something romantic, to make you happy etc etc, that tends to fail

The main reason is to get tax credit, to ensure monogamy and commitment, to get a higher status in eyes of employer, clients and beurocracy, plenty of war veterans in my country are discriminated because they refuse to get married and stay officially single. During the war the government gave nice deals to anyone who took to draft and they promised houses, income etc, when the war ended it turned out there is not enough of that for everyone, of course those with wives and especially those with wives and kids got what was promised, the rest barely got anything and that makes sense if you are the government since you wanna keep existing and without babies there is no existence. There is also the hope of it working out, you are very cynical, most people are not, they chose to believe in happiness and not overthink everything

Also our current lives are extremely unnatural, we are supposed to live until 40something and women are supposed to produce babies in early teens with first sexual partner, take that into account and there is no mistakes to be made, you have need for sex, you have sex, gj now you get to raise a family, you know your duties as a father, she knows her as a mother, done! You don't have time to fuck up, you don't have second chances. You fuck another woman, a slut or a whore? You die of some easy-to-treat STD, you touch another mans wife you die in a duel from a small cut, you wait for too long to marry, all the other women are married and with babies and you have half your teeth missing. This is gone.

Il128 · 2017-07-26T12:14:41+00:00

Everyone wants to be loved and everyone wants to trust the person they love. A great many people believe marriage is a kind of guarantee that love and trust will last.

SeethingMonkey · 2017-07-26T14:30:01+00:00

Pressure. Massive amounts of social pressure starting at a young age. Social pressure led by mass marketing. It starts with TV & Movies, books, magazines, parents (even if they are divorced), religion. Then you get an LTR. Her parents, friends, magazines, every romance and fairy tale she has seen/read since she was a little girl says after X amount of years he should propose or she should leave and find someone that will; slamming him with more and more pressure to buckle down and "do the right thing."

The marketing is powerful and real. How are all those businesses going to survive making billions without people getting married and remarried? How are the churches going to suck in more members to give them their billions? How are all those companies going to get your money if you don't marry someone to spend it all for you?

TRP talks about the feminisation of our culture and that women use it to have/retain/get more power. I personally think the power is a by-product. The real cause simply goes back to consumerism and money. If you sell the wife on ideas and products, you sell the man. Men will do what they can to get sex and if they think that buying into marriage is the path of least resistance, then they will buy.

We can talk all day about AWALT, but we like to forget that bluepill men are AMALT. Plugged in and trying to get sex with the least amount of effort. So that massive amount of social pressure that they have had all their life has been saying, "This is the path. Even women say this is what you do to get sex. (echoes from the magazines/TV shows/Movies financed by companies marketing their shit)" The pressure is so strong and constant we become numb to it even the most Alpha and the most resistant men fall to it.

We know that the joke is on them though because it takes way more effort (and money) to "do the right thing" and play by the rules that someone else made. Rather work hard up front and make my own rules than pay double on the back end because of sheepish laziness bullshit.

Not going to lie, I fell for it. I got married. Wife agrees, if we were to do it all over again, would have saved the money and not done it. Would have talked to my lawyer and signed some contracts and make wills (which you should do anyway). Would still have the kids, the house, the everything we have and $20k more in savings. Benefits of marriage don't out way the initial cost or the risk of divorce. You have better odds playing blackjack or craps.

nightmancommeth · 2017-07-26T21:26:10+00:00

19-Gets first girlfriend... Asks her to marry him. Watch

Adi2208 · 2017-07-26T11:55:27+00:00

That's because a majority of our population have a herd mentality and our society programs us to think that getting married and having kids is the norm. Not everyone looks at divorce statistics, they just feel that they have a found someone whom they want to marry and they marry. I am also 19 and seeing the women around me, I doubt I will even bother getting married. LTR is as far as I will go.

zboo1h · 2017-07-26T16:44:35+00:00

It's the best environment to rear children in, so that they don't turn into degenerates.

Degenerates are easy to control. Single moms produce degenerates. So now you know why the state basically subsidizes single motherhood.

ReadyForChange87 · 2017-07-26T07:42:57+00:00

Unless it's for visa reasons I would never ever marry. Marriage is not romantic. It's a business contract. Nothing more. Nothing less. It's expensive and makes breaking up harder. Why even bother? I guess most beta guys marry because they are scared to lose the girl. A married women gets approached less. And a married wife will break up less likely than just a LTR.

Arnoux · 2017-07-26T14:12:00+00:00

You get several economic incentives in my country if you are raising 1-3 children.

I am not sure, but probably you only get these incentives if you are married.

EDIT: Also, if you want to raise kids, you have to be really alpha to convince your girlfriend to bear child to you, without doing the marriage first. Or you have to choose a much lower SMV girl to accept the deal. The reality for most of us is that we are not that exceptional high SMV that we can convince a high SMV girl to get pregnant, without doing the marriage route.

BestSC86 · 2017-07-26T14:49:46+00:00

I don't know why you give a shit what other people do?

Really, it isn't hard to understand. In most places, it is simply the thing to do. People like to do what their parents and community expects of them. So most guys are constantly on the search for snowflake and will take what ever measures they have to take in order to get a chance to see that pussy. Frankly, they don't give a shit about the alpha\beta stuff or whether she is marrying them because of the stability or finances...they just want to see that pussy once. And the fact that it soon devolves into a sexless, domineering marriage doesn't really register because that is what their parents did so again...following their parent model. It is the way of life for these people.

Plus you are 19yo, don't be insulted but really you don't have any real idea of what life holds in store for you or even to be frank any idea of life in general. I mean, I know we all thought that we knew everything at that age but when you look back at 30, you will realize that you were a fucking moron and didn't have a clue.

In this day and age, young people should not be getting married or really in LTRs...they are not up to the task or temperament. You should be learning how to decipher the character of people and women at that age, not following the prospect of a pussy around like a beagle which a lot of dudes do, even on TRP. You can spot them pretty easily even though they try to hide their obsession behind bravado and terms like alpha\plate\etc. You can tell that they are completely mesmerized by that one girl who let them fuck her.....though they all claim to "IDGAF, as I have multiple plates, blah, blah, blah". Of course, it isn't true as they are not posting long screeds about those other chicks on reddit looking for advice on how to see that pussy again now are they.

People do what society expects them to do.

InternetHateDevice · 2017-07-26T15:46:02+00:00

Marriage itself isn't bad. It was originally a religious ceremony that signaled the beginning of absolute monogamy in the name of raising children before a deity. Whatever your thoughts on religion are, this model has been proven to be the best method of raising children and promoting general life satisfaction (happiness).

What we see here in the west is a sick and twisted perversion of that once sacred benevolent ceremony.

It's now a money grab by the government intended to promote marital separation and destruction of family structure so women will depend on the State for support and vote for more government programs. In today's society, marriage has no real value or purpose.

Greek-God-Brody · 2017-07-26T13:54:05+00:00

So you're not alone when you get old.

5pecial · 2017-07-26T20:17:18+00:00

My parents, grandparents, and sister all have great marriages. The one thing they have in common is that they all met around age 14 and stayed together since then. Unfortunately, I don't see things working well me for because I'm already 33 and all the girls I'm dating are skanks with tons of baggage.

Thinkingard · 2017-07-26T18:14:50+00:00

I dont see anyone mentioning anything about living the full human experience. There are many things you dont just get until you have experienced it for yourself. Marriage mostly, not always, leads to kids. Both aspects of life are radically different from living alone. When I got married and had a kid I noticed my emotional reactions to a lot of movies has changed. It makes me feel like I was a sociopath as a teenager and I think most teens are since most shit doesnt faze them.

To fully understand the human experience requires action. People born rich have no idea what its like living paycheck to paycheck. Women dont know what its like to be a man. And so on. So again: fuller human experience.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2017-07-26T19:49:10+00:00

but about 50% of marriages end in divorce, 2/3 of them are initiated by women

Bullshit. Always be skeptical of excessively rounded statistics.

it's pretty damn difficult to calculate the realistic divorce rate since in any given year, the vast majority of people who get married or are currently married, haven't divorced yet.

Don't tell me you don't have a personal bias here. The only way you can get an accurate figure is by waiting 70 years or so until almost all the couples married in a given period have either divorced or died.

So this 50% is nothing more than a prediction of the future, and as you should know, "experts" are stunningly bad at predicting what will happen even a week from now. Another one of those statistics that some journalist or politician pulled from deep within their sagging rectal cavity.

The total divorce rate probably peaked in the mid 80's in the mid 40's (projection.) But we don't know because the majority of those people are both still alive and haven't divorced yet. The closer you get to the present, the less accurately you can predict the odds of divorce, due to the information being available being less and less an indicator of the state of existing marriages. Current estimates suggest the odds are in the mid 30's range, if you get married now.

The flip side of this is that far fewer people are getting married today, of course. So that tends to weed out dysfunctional couples.

So you should ignore such statistics. You should carefully weigh the qualifiable personal and financial risks. Then ask yourself, if you were in prison and you could trade those for a pardon letter, would you?

Then, assess the value you're getting out of your relationship right now.

Forget about what might happen to you in the future. Who cares? People change, circumstances change.

If you own a successful business, or have significant personal income-earning assets, I'd advise against it. Depending on the laws where you live, having a GF even move in with you might be a big gamble.

If not, simply get good financial planning advice, get a pre-nup, and invest savings in ways you can easily move or liquidate.

Geraltski · 2017-07-27T05:26:50+00:00

Most "redpillers" here like to yap their weak chinned mouths on about how whamen this and whamen that because their still full of themselves and insecure. There's only one simple truth in this, men gave up their responsibility (keyword) of controlling all this shit and that's why it is how it is.

You can act tough and pretend to be that alpha dude, put in a tremendous amount of work just to get shitty used up pussy off tinder while some skinny hipster faggot out there is still getting more or you can start putting that work into organising with other men to bring order back to this chaos.

Being a 19 year old you won't even make it half way to your pension before all this shit falls apart anyway, civilization won't last with how unnaturally it has been set up today.

iqbal002 · 2017-07-26T09:04:30+00:00

Marriage is not an outdated institution !

You get married raise "high valued" children by staying sincere to each other ,your children learn from you how to behave with the opposite sex then they get married remain with each other for long term I don't know what happened with OP's parents but that affected him deeply now he is not interested in any LTR even if he marries he will divorce for a simple or even a big reason There is no alternative to marriage It very fundamental part of a society

oldredder · 2017-07-26T08:23:32+00:00

I think these days it's cultural-scripting or desperation or a total misunderstanding about how the law will use marriage to fucking rape their ass

11-Eleven-11 · 2017-07-26T17:20:01+00:00

Are you me?

TelicAstraeus · 2017-07-26T20:13:07+00:00

I found this clip from a Jordan Peterson lecture to be insightful, and it seems relevant to the question at hand: Jordan Peterson - The Shackles of Marriage

The tl;dl of it is: everyone sucks, and if you shackle yourself to someone else who sucks maybe together you'll be slightly less likely to suffer in some ways.

ECoast_Man · 2017-07-26T20:27:05+00:00

There are two reasons, and a bonus third:

1) Kids. Data is irrefutable that marriage is good for child-rearing: less likely to become criminals or substance abusers, higher incomes, more stable relationships in their lives, etc. There is a reason why pretty much every civilization on Earth has this institution, and this is it.

2) Money. This is more of a modern thing, but since women "got out of the kitchen" markets have adjusted and in particular real estate. By this I mean, houses are sold at market, and the market value of real estate now takes into account two income stream families. Normal dude making $75k can't afford the same house that other dude and wife can who jointly make $150k. Simple. You're young, but look at rent. When you're out renting you will see couples shacking up in a nicer one bedroom or bachelor than many single people because they can split rent and associated expenses.

3) The bonus here is specific to certain fields. I work in business law and two of the firms I've worked for I know it was frowned upon for men to still be single after around 30ish. It wouldn't get you canned obviously, and it wasn't official policy, but I know that management want their young men to be married because they believed that it straightens them out and reduces the likelihood of risky behaviour characteristic of men in high stress occupations (alcoholism, drugs, partying generally, depression, etc.). I don't if /u/VasiliyZaitzev found this to be the case? Do you have any comments on this?

chief-w · 2017-07-27T00:54:16+00:00

Part of it is social tradition: vestiges of the contract between families stuff mentioned earlier that prioritises commitment over short term urges.

Part of it is religious morality: abstinence before message etc. No Pussy is worth hell if you believe in that. (Though a lot of Christians do not take their religion very seriously)

Part of it is blue pill oneitus: too many blue pillers in the world.

Burlaczech · 2017-07-26T11:10:43+00:00

if nobody got married, how many people will be in your country in 100 years? To most, passing your genes to the next generation is their meaning of life. Vast majority of those that dont, will be forgotten forever.

Mudpielol · 2017-07-26T11:35:06+00:00

Probably to have kids.

FlyingSexistPig · 2017-07-26T14:10:13+00:00

For many, it is a non-negotiable social convention.

GreenPiller · 2017-07-26T16:59:23+00:00

Young people fall in love. The young guys is relatively alpha, girl is madly in love, they fuck every day, oxytocin is at an all time high, why not get married? Then shit tests increase, young guy starts breaking frame, wife is dried up and unhappy, sex decreases, divorce ensues.

Aptote · 2017-07-26T20:01:19+00:00

as far as why men get married under marriage 2.0

reason

Peter_B_Long · 2017-07-26T23:49:59+00:00

Before I found TRP, I always felt that my marriage would be different. My parents got divorced too. But I felt like I would have something special and that I was capable of having a forever after with the love of my life.

Now of course I know better. I'm probably never getting married (maybe when I'm 35+ (currently 23)), but I can understand why people get married now. I can see why women get married (resources), and guys get married to tie a woman down and because that's what we're supposed to do.

The__Tren__Train · 2017-07-27T05:29:29+00:00

the only difference between marriage and an LTR, is that in marriage, a woman has a massive financial incentive to leave.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-07-27T11:55:44+00:00

They do it because that's what they've been told to do.

Title	I don't get why guys get married
Author	arandomreddituserrr
Upvotes	49
Comments	95
Date	July 26, 2017 6:32 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6pm9fa/i_dont_get_why_guys_get_married/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-dont-get-why-guys-get-married.458 https://theredarchive.com/post/458

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