Shit test trivial

porkchopsandgravy · 2018-08-23T18:30:59+00:00

Statement 2 would actually be a funny response for Statement 1.

900_year_old_vampire · 2018-08-23T16:22:32+00:00

1: ok

2: ok

3: ok

4: ok

5: ok

6: ok

7: ok

8: ok

9: ok

10: ok

11: ok

12: ok

13: ok

14: ok

15: ok

DekexelDragon55 · 2018-08-23T17:56:34+00:00

1 : “You seem like a fuck boy” - 'Only on Tuesdays'

2 : “I’m waiting till marriage for sex” - 'Same, but that didn't stop my Priest'

3 : “You probably have a small dick” - 'But you've thought of it?'

4 : “I’m really tired I don’t feel like doing anything” - 'Same, maybe I should go home and go to bed. It's getting late.'

5 : “I just met you” - 'And what's your impression?'

6 : “You probably use that line on every girl” - 'No it works on guys too!'

7 : “I’ll only do that if I’m your girlfriend” - 'My what?'

8 : “Your friend is really hot” - 'Yeah I know right?'

9 : “You aren’t that cute” - 'Yeah but here we are'

10 : “I only like [race or appearance that isn’t yours]” - 'That's interesting because I'm usually only attracted to [race or appearance that isn’t yours], how funny is that?'

11 : “All men suck” - 'Like a vaccuum? Because if so I agree'

12 : “I need a guy who makes a lot of money” - 'Same, if you know one that's interested let me know'

13 : “I want a deep guy whose in touch with his feelings” - 'Why?'

14 : “You should respect me (after saying something she seems as disrespectful)” - 'Yet ask me to choke you in bed? Noted'

15 : “You’re annoying/rude” - 'Only on Tuesdays'

11-Eleven-11 · 2018-08-23T20:22:11+00:00

Statement 2: Call me when you get married.

Then I'm out.

Mobrowncheeks · 2018-08-23T18:20:02+00:00

1 : “You seem like a fuck boy” - only on Tuesdays ( I know another commenter said this but I actually always have as well)

2 : “I’m waiting till marriage for sex” ok escalate and do it anyway

3 : “You probably have a small dick” ( I'm black so everyone assumes I'm hung)

4 : “I’m really tired I don’t feel like doing anything” - *just leave

5 : “I just met you” - and this is crazy...

6 : “You probably use that line on every girl” - you are correct

7 : “I’ll only do that if I’m your girlfriend” - only girls who do that can be my girlfriend

8 : “Your friend is really hot” - I dont hang out with ugly'

9 : “You aren’t that cute” - babies and puppies are cute

10 : “I only like [race or appearance that isn’t yours]” - say nothing and chuckle

11 : “All men suck” - oh so you have experience? ( Pressure flip)

12 : “I need a guy who makes a lot of money” - I have honestly been looking for a sugar momma myself

13 : “I want a deep guy whose in touch with his feelings” - laugh at her

14 : “You should respect me (after saying something she seems as disrespectful)” - what does that mean? ( They usually don't know and just laugh after realizing how they sound)

15 : “You’re annoying/rude” - fight me then

humzy · 2018-08-24T00:17:39+00:00

"stop flirting with me" to every statement

Qazreddit99 · 2018-08-23T23:26:35+00:00

1: That's what they all say.

2: So when are you gonna propose?

3: Yeah, I wish it was big like your ass/nose.

4: So stop talking.

5: And I gave you my name so we're practically married.

6: No, not on the exciting ones.

7: That's a good reason not to make you my wife.

8: I saw him first.

9: Must be like looking in a mirror for you then, huh?

10: Too bad. I was gonna buy a ring after this.

11: Yeah but girls have cooties.

12: I need a woman who makes a lot of sandwhiches.

13: I could feel myself touching you.

14: I love going against the crowd.

15: wink lopsided open-mouthed grin finger-guns

MakoShark93 · 2018-08-24T10:49:31+00:00

This is funny

Operator_Axiom · 2018-08-24T01:27:03+00:00

Most of these 'answers' here aren't going to do much of anything for your cause. At best they may keep the conversation going but if she has any skill what so ever then all they will do is get you an eye roll and a dismissal.

The best here fail shit tests. They fail them less than the worst here because they've practiced. They've gone out, approached and either succeed or they failed and learned from it. And that's the only way to learn to pass shit tests.

One thing to think about when giving your response is the context of the shit test more so than what she said. How did she say it? Was she laughing or smiling? Did she seem interested in what you may respond? Was she a complete bitch? Was she a playful bitch? Did she just outright dismiss you? All of these should dictate to what you say AND how you say it.

Governor_Humphries · 2018-08-24T03:04:38+00:00

“You seem like a fuck boy”

Thanks

“I’m waiting till marriage for sex”

(Chuckle.) OK.

You probably have a small dick

Extremely small.

“I’m really tired I don’t feel like doing anything”

Let's just hang out and watch something then.

“I just met you”

And it's going well so far.

“You probably use that line on every girl”

Yeah.

“I’ll only do that if I’m your girlfriend”

You'll only be my girlfriend if you do that.

"Your friend is really hot"

I know. I keep trying to get him to go out with me.

“You aren’t that cute”

(Smile.) Yeah I am.

I only like [other race]

Bye.

“All men suck”

Yeah, but some are better at it than others.

“I need a guy who makes a lot of money”

What's a lot? I found a nickel on the sidewalk earlier.

“I want a deep guy whose in touch with his feelings”

And I want a deep girl. Like, six or seven inches, minimum. Otherwise it's just physically uncomfortable for both parties.

“You should respect me"

Yeah

“You’re annoying/rude”

(Smile. Shrug.) Guilty.

LORDFLVCKOJODYE · 2018-08-24T05:06:53+00:00

Hi guys, is statement 8 "your friend is really hot" a shit test?

genuinely want to know, a girl said that to me the other day

PresidentTingles · 2018-08-24T14:22:04+00:00

Note: Assuming the mood is light and friendly, see my responses. But some of these shit tests, could be comfort tests to which my smart-ass-entitled responses won't work.
Statement 1 : “You seem like a fuck boy”
Hey, keep it down! I don't want my gran to find out.

Statement 2 : “I’m waiting till marriage for sex”
That's why blowjobs were invented... doesn't count as sex.

Statement 3 : “You probably have a small dick”
*Just smile and wink; say nothing.

Statement 4 : “I’m really tired I don’t feel like doing anything”
Ok, but if we go home/to bed now, you should know that I don't have sex on the first date.

Statement 5 : “I just met you” (Excuse for not allowing certain escalation)
... and this is crazy! But here's my number, so call me maybe! *then continue

Statement 6 : “You probably use that line on every girl”
Only the ones I think are stupid. *Then smile and wink

Statement 7 : “I’ll only do that if I’m your girlfriend”
How much is that? I don't think I have some much money on me right now.

Statement 8 : “Your friend is really hot”
- If boy: He is right?! I bought him on the dark web.

- If girl: Wait, are you suggesting we have a threesome?

Statement 9 : “You aren’t that cute”
I know, this is the price I have to pay for having all my good genes accumulate in my dick.

Statement 10 : “I only like [race or appearance that isn’t yours]” ex. “White guys”
And I only like funny girls.

Statement 11 : “All men suck”
Wrong! All men LICK. Woman are the ones who suck. I can prove that.

Statement 12 : “I need a guy who makes a lot of money”
And I need a girl who cooks and cleans.

Statement 13 : “I want a deep guy whose in touch with his feelings”
I can't help you with the feelings part, only the going deep part.

Statement 14 : “You should respect me (after saying something she seems as disrespectful)”
Why? *Then look at her seriously and act confused.

Statement 15 : “You’re annoying/rude”
Fine, just don't beat me up. I know the bouncers around here.

DubbleFUPAwitCheez · 2018-08-23T17:10:26+00:00

Please. Fuck man.
What's a virgin doing here? (continue escalation throughout interaction.)
2 inches of hardened steel.
Better get going then.
I'm just going with it.
If it ain't broke...
Fine, update your facebook status.
I haven't kicked him out of bed yet.
But I am that handsome.
hahahahaha
....titties.
Are loan sharks after you?
(rub her arm) See? I'm feeling.
Why?
Rude- It's part of my charm. Annoying - You came here for the solitude?

Boddicker06 · 2018-08-23T23:09:54+00:00

I imagine that would be a problem for a huge cunt like you.

Jailhouseredpilled93 · 2018-08-23T23:13:14+00:00

You probably have a small dick

You should see my bank account.

613WeTheGreatest · 2018-08-24T02:04:50+00:00

1: 'Takes one to know'

2: 'Cool'

3: 'Having a micropenis isn't fun :/' (said over the top and sarcastically)

4:'Then go tuck yourself into bed'

5; 'and 1+1 is 2'

6: 'only the 83rd one of every day'

7: 'what's a girlfriend???'

8: 'yeah we fuck each other up the ass on the reg'

9: 'my mom said the same thing'

10: 'gasp it's 2018! Race is a construct!!! 😮'

11: 'yeah I like elephants too'

12: 'Im unemployed and live with my parents'(if she recognizes this Seinfeld reference +2 to her, but she won't 😌)

13: 'Im not your therapist boyfriend lmao'

14: 'What a great throwback song!!!!'

15: ' Yeah I am'

You can say whatever the fuck you want as cliche as that sounds and girls will eat it up and latch on like a puppy as long as you show abundance and dgaf

This one night I was blitzed off my ass drunk and the lads and I were walking through downtown, a random group of girls are walking head on and I walk up and loudly ask? "BUYSIDE OR SELLSIDE???" And one of the girls shouts back "UHMM SOUTH SIDE!!!" to which I go "that's not what I said lmao next" and started walking away when the girls surrounded me and went "no wtf I want to know what you said!!! Tell meeeee!!!!" "Nah" and walked away

Once you internalize not caring about passing a shit test == internalizing abundance, you realise canned answers are garbage and the way to go is by going with the flow and seeing what your mind can come up with in the present. Then it becomes about playing the game properly instead of winning == enjoying the process == internalization of "Life is about the journey not the destination"

☸☸☸☸

ImmortalAl · 2018-08-24T03:44:43+00:00

I'm waiting until sex to get married

ArabSigma · 2018-08-24T11:58:02+00:00

I like to randomly switch from verbose to one line replies.

You seem like a fuck boy

There was a time where I was a fuck boy. I have now ascended into the status of a fuck man

or

I also act the part

I’m waiting till marriage for sex

I'm waiting till sex for marriage

or get down on one knee and propose

You probably have a small dick

I believe the medical term is "micro penis"

or

That's what my priest told me

I’m really tired I don’t feel like doing anything

Starfish sex is one of my fetishes

But honestly I would just walk away.

I just met you

Back off and act offended. "Yu ? Is he Chinese ? And you're telling me this now ?"

You probably use that line on every girl

I go door to door like a Jenovah's witness

I’ll only do that if I’m your girlfriend

That's what I told my priest yesterday

Your friend is really hot

"He thinks your friend is hot too" if she's with friends

Or proceed to describe him in an erotic fashion. "what's so hot about his strong veiny forearms and his thick muscular build. How can you possibly be attracted to ..."

You aren’t that cute

So you admit I'm at least somewhat cute

Or turn your face to one side and say "how about from this angle"

I only like [race or appearance that isn’t yours]

It just so happens that I identify as [race or appearance that isn’t yours]

Eg "It just so happens that I identify as a young african american man from Detroit" when you're a pasty white guy

All men suck

Some of em even swallow

I need a guy who makes a lot of money

So do I

I want a deep guy whose in touch with his feelings

Proceed to recite poetry or say something superficially deep like "how can man touch something which resides beyond the physical realm" or "Yeah but how can we be real when our eyes aren't real"

You should respect me (after saying something she seems as disrespectful)

Yes m'lady, you are absolutely correct m'lady

You’re annoying

That's what my therapist keeps telling me

You’re rude

"Yes I am indeed known for having a bit of a potty mouth" delivered with a posh british accent

Sorry about the priest jokes. They seem to be popular in this sub from what I see.

Yeralt · 2018-08-24T12:40:59+00:00

Statement 11 : “All men suck”: Yeah but all girls swallow

latinasonly · 2018-08-24T19:48:44+00:00

Statement 1 : “You seem like a fuck boy”

low-key , real talk here : " us fuck boys fuck around a lot cause the ladies like us. all the other guys want to do what we do but they ain't cool enough"

when you here this, your spitting good game . translation: you seem like an alpha male

Statement 2 : “I’m waiting till marriage for sex”

" guess i can fuck one of your hot friends instead"

Statement 3 : “You probably have a small dick”

"well you'll find out later on"

"dammmn you been with hella guys to be able to pick up there dick size like that"

Statement 4 : “I’m really tired I don’t feel like doing anything”

" we all know once I show up your gonna get that surge of youthful energy"

Statement 5 : “I just met you” (Excuse for not allowing certain escalation)

"thats true ! lets get to to know each other better by (insert escalation)"

Statement 6 : “You probably use that line on every girl”

"its a new one , i think its working with you"

"hey its a good fucking line, or I wouldn't be using it"

Statement 7 : “I’ll only do that if I’m your girlfriend”

"guess your signing up for one of my four girlfriend slots Tuesday or Sunday ?"

"aint that cute , catching feeling already "

Statement 8 : “Your friend is really hot”

" I like to keep good company"

" recommend him to your friends, help a homie out"

"its a shame he went gay"

Statement 9 : “You aren’t that cute”

"guess its true what they say about women, looks aren't as important to them, it must be my dick your falling for"

Statement 10 : “I only like [race or appearance that isn’t yours]” ex. “White guys”

"but you love mexicans"

Statement 11 : “All men suck”

" guess your a lesbian or something, if you are i guess we can get that hot threesome going"

Statement 12 : “I need a guy who makes a lot of money”

" heres the plan - you can find some f*ggot to buy you the nice dinner, and Ill just roll through and fuck you afterwards"

" I have an iPhone, im loaded AF baby"

"we can rob banks together, hows that sound for a hot date eh"

Statement 13 : “I want a deep guy whose in touch with his feelings”

" Ill get it in so deep you gonna catch feelings girl"

" if your nice to me you *might* bring that side of me out

Statement 14 : “You should respect me (after saying something she seems as disrespectful)”

" you have nice eyes, you know that"

Statement 15 : “You’re annoying/rude”

"aww so your little miss manners, aint that cute"

"thats funny , i feel like you get that a lot"

"im such a nice guy , what you mean"

opper-hombre1 · 2018-08-23T19:40:43+00:00

Men suck

YEAH, TITTIES

theubernoob · 2018-08-24T00:59:16+00:00

Statement 1 : “You seem like a fuck boy”

That's an interesting thing to say

Statement 2 : “I’m waiting till marriage for sex”

That's literally the saddest thing I've ever heard

Statement 3 : “You probably have a small dick”

How did you come to that idea?

Statement 4 : “I’m really tired I don’t feel like doing anything”

Have fun

Statement 5 : “I just met you” (Excuse for not allowing certain escalation)

What's that supposed to mean?

Statement 6 : “You probably use that line on every girl”

Ahahaha I've literally never said that in my life

Statement 7 : “I’ll only do that if I’m your girlfriend”

Well you can be my girlfriend for the next 10 minutes

Statement 8 : “Your friend is really hot”

Yup, he's a good looking dude

Statement 9 : “You aren’t that cute”

Dam, you're breaking my heart

Statement 10 : “I only like [race or appearance that isn’t yours]” ex. “White guys”

Interesting

Statement 11 : “All men suck”

You're not wrong

Statement 12 : “I need a guy who makes a lot of money”

Ah, so you're a soul crusher

Statement 13 : “I want a deep guy whose in touch with his feelings”

Yeah, but those guys end up being the biggest pussies

Statement 14 : “You should respect me (after saying something she seems as disrespectful)”

I do

Statement 15 : “You’re annoying/rude”

Sure, when the mood strikes

I guess I like saying things that will draw out the conversation so I can play with it more

oytrp · 2018-08-23T17:40:29+00:00

If you need a "script" to pass shit tests, then you're not going to successfully game women.

Just remember to agree and amplify.

Title	Shit test trivial
Author	whysointp
Upvotes	73
Comments	62
Date	August 23, 2018 3:49 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/99oijr/shit_test_trivial/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/shit-test-trivial.891 https://theredarchive.com/post/891

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