Should I forgive LTR or next?

Buttslam1488 · 2017-06-14T15:01:19+00:00

Ghost this cheating whore

officerkondo · 2017-06-14T15:55:14+00:00

It was just a one time thing and nothing more than a drunk fuck.

You know that she is someone who will have drunk fucks.

Please explain how you know that it was a one-time event.

fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck- · 2017-06-14T16:48:59+00:00

The problem is that she recently confessed to me that she got drunk and cheated on me about a month into our relationship.

Trickle truth right here. You're getting only a small part of the story. Cheaters cheat and lie. That's their M.O.

She told me that was the only time she has ever physically cheated on me, and that the orbiter stuff stopped many months ago.

Cheaters always downplay the cheat. "I only sucked it for a few minutes."

I know I probably should have ended things as soon as I found out about TRP, but I used her as an experiment

This is YOU hamstering.

I don't think I'm having oneitis...

You're hamstering still. You're keeping a girl who had some other dick in her mouth while with you.

I would be fine walking away

All words coming from you.

Am I being naive and making a huge mistake?

Obviously, on both parts. She's already shown you that she'll suck another dick and pretend her teeth are whiter due to a whitener and you didn't get rid of her for it.

AwakenedSovereign · 2017-06-14T14:58:29+00:00

Hard next no contact. Once a cheater always a cheater. She lied to you about it for what, 7 months? Only reason she told you was to feel better about herself.. and maybe hoping you'd give her an easy out, or let her know that it's ok for her to cheat and you'll still be there to say I love you after she's done swallowing Chad.

It won't end well, guaranteed.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-06-14T18:37:55+00:00

Lmao what a hamster rollercoaster. I think you should commit even further, and give her a promise ring.

Contacting and talking to a guy who your current gf cucked you with months ago is about as beta as shit can get. He's now laughing with his boys about how some bar slut's beta bf called him to confirm if he did indeed go balls deep and how many times. You are not doing any experiment, you have severe oneitis, she doesn't NEED you and she doesn't appreciate your SMV, she will never forget how you were too weak to leave her after she cucked you, and you won't do shit of she cucks you again ( She probably has already).

Grow some balls my man. If they cheat or start acting weird, next them. Life is too short and there are too many better girls out there you haven't met yet to be dealing with that kind of shit. You next and you next and you next and you hard ghost.

Mobiiz · 2017-06-14T15:07:43+00:00

Hard next. She waited 11 months to tell you. You should have nexted her immediately when she told you.

DadOnDabs · 2017-06-14T17:02:45+00:00

I stopped reading when you said she cheated. The rest was a bunch of hampstering. You have 2 options here.

1) downgrade to plate status

2) delete her number and never talk to her again.

Halfassredlife · 2017-06-14T15:01:00+00:00

Next this simple bitch.

281threethreeoh8004 · 2017-06-14T15:32:43+00:00

My immediate response would be to leave her, based on what you've told us.

If you two weren't exclusive when this happened then that's a different story. But if you are under the impression that your relationship was monogamous, she clearly deceived you.

Sounds like she didn't feel bad about it at first, but after your visible improvements she wants to have a clean slate and doesn't want to lose you. Easier to ask for forgiveness by telling the person outright, rather than having to explain oneself after word gets out some other way.

Ultimately do what's best for you, but I would have a hard time trusting her after that.

nastynickdr · 2017-06-14T16:05:53+00:00

Shes not LTR material man. Plate at best, if you could handle it emotionally, but seems like you are not ready for that. She will never fully respect you. Is better for you to start a fresh new relationship with a girl who wont see you as beta.

module_process · 2017-06-14T16:39:41+00:00

As someone who tried to "work it out" with an ex SO who cheated, you need to let her go. It will always be in the back of your mind regardless of what she does\says now and in the future. A normal LTR is hard mode...dealing with one you can't trust is just a recipe for insanity.

By staying with her, you're rewarding her bad behavior. Ask yourself..would you give a dog a treat if he shit on the carpet? No...you rub their nose in it. Next..nothing vengeful, just walk away silently and file experience into your mind for the next one.

quicklogaccount · 2017-06-14T16:48:23+00:00

First things first, IF your judgment was trustworthy, which it is not.
You acted terribly. She gave you the no privacy thing because it's REASONABLE to give it when you need to earn someone's trust, but you taking it is still something that lowers her perceived value of you and with it, the attraction. Past this, the cheating went under the rug for free.
The price for shit like that should be big. It has to be something big enough for you to NEVER regret taking her back, so your decision NEVER bites your ass. "She drunk fucked a guy, yeah, but then we had those threesomes". Shit like that. But it wasn't nearly big enough, you just let it pass so she keeps on giving you what every woman gives every man, sex, and most often for no commitment at all. As soon as you develop some abundance and some confidence you'll regret this, HARD.

Now, why you think she told you now?
She loves you more? Nope. She appreciates you more? Nope.
She dislikes the guilt and at this moment handling the guilt started to become less desirable than telling you. What tipped the scale was the balance between her confidence that her hook is carved deep enough in you so you wouldn't leave and her willingness to accept the consequences, you dumping her. Basically she told you because she feels she owns you now. She'll dig you as a toy for a while then she'll start to whine and bitch because you're not a guy worthy of her.

Am I being naive and making a huge mistake?

Yep. Out of sheer scarcity and oneitis.
Wanna see? Charge her for the cheating. Give her a consequence besides the pretty obvious one, no need to go with the threesome, make it even, tell her she owes you a mulligan for gaming and banging some bimbo that looks easy. She won't give it to you. You'll see her denying you it or you'll see her hamster coming into play to get you to tell her you have the mulligan but won't use it.

_the_shape_ · 2017-06-14T17:14:12+00:00

I'd either bring her down to plate level or next completely.

Going from LTR to plate level will likely present its own challenges and probably culminate in an implosion of the relationship anyway, leaving you with pulling the plug completely, which you ought to strongly consider for the sake of your own self-respect and to put an end to feeding your hamster (which your posts suggests you've already done plenty of).

Edit:this part is extremely relevant

the sex is pretty great

Many of us have been here, sticking around in relationships with girls who we have nothing in common with, perhaps are even horrible for us, only because the sex is too damn good to walk away from. If the sex was mediocre or bad, would you keep things going between you two?

Cell_Technician · 2017-06-14T17:35:12+00:00

Silent demote the bitch cunt.

walawalawa · 2017-06-15T00:02:05+00:00

The problem is that she recently confessed to me that she got drunk and cheated on me about a month into our relationship.

Grounds for hard-next. This in fact is the primary grounds for ghosting and breaking all contact.

It was just a one time thing and nothing more than a drunk fuck. (I even contacted the guy to confirm and he was cool and honest about it)

This is where the Blue-Pill/beta tendencies kick in and you start rationalizing her bad behavior.

I stopped reading after this part.

A girl I was banging was going out with two "Friends" of mine. I told her that was it.

She begged me to stay...didn't want to lose me. I demoted her to plate and just banged her.

But the fact she kept playing this dangerous game with two friends only eroded my own self-esteem.

I finally walked away when her obnoxious behavior became too much. I later found out these were not quite the innocent "friend" hang outs she kept insisting they were....my "Friend" had taken her to an expensive dinner, got her sloppy drunk and she threw herself at him.

At this point I cut all contact and it's now been 6 months.

But my self-esteem took a blow. Do yourself a favour and cut all contact and walk away.

Having a conversation about this (like I did) will only lead to more arguments and lower your value. It won't change the past and every time you look at her you'll be thinking "Did she do that with him?

Kaldaren · 2017-06-14T15:48:46+00:00

IMO, men confess because their conscious is getting to them, women confess to head off someone else exposing them. Obviously the opposite case is true as well, there just isn't much cross correlation in relationships because women value social status more.

At best, automatic demotion to plate; I'm all for immediate next when you are the one being insecure or suspicious because at that point her value had turned negative.

You find value in her, so its fine to just keep her as a plate to continue honing in your TRP skills before breaking up; this is generally also MRP's opinion. Its not worth keeping her because getting rid of the beta stench is nearly impossible and it is always better to work on a fresh girl. Think of it this way, this girl had such low self-SMV she thought beta you was a match in the SMP; now she feels dread about your SMV increasing to the point she's mate guarding. You probably have a good shot at getting a girl with higher SMV. Maybe take a page out of their book and do a branch swing.

Finally, cheaters are always cheaters. Don't ever cheat. If you want to still get with this girl but want to play outside and make better conquests, tell her you want an open relationship and demote her to plate/bottom bitch.

I don't think I'm having oneitis for her because if when she fucks up again I know I would be

Yes, you do

Pro_Like_Me · 2017-06-14T17:09:06+00:00

i wouldnt ghost just plate

SovereignSoul76 · 2017-06-14T18:38:08+00:00

Personally, I don't think there's enough info here to make a call either way.

Look: we all accept that acting like a little beta bitch = women fuck with you. They cheat on you, mock you in public, remorselessly use you for resourses, etc. Also accepted is that individuals wax and wane on the alpha/beta tendencies. You stated in your post that you were BP as fuck when this happened. So where's the consistency with expectations, people?

I can see both sides of the coin on this one. I'm not saying definitely emotionally reinvest heavily in her. But I take serious issue with people immediately saying "Hard next!" when one goddamn thing goes wrong. People make mistakes. And while abundance mentality is good, not everybody lives in NYC, surrounded by endless amounts of snatch. You can't kick every girl who doesn't cover her mouth when she sneezes to the curb and pound your chest about how alpha you are, or you'll wind up the self-proclaimed alpha king of your empire of dirt.

How would ya'll like it if your current girl somehow met your oneitis from college and she talked about what a little bitch you were back then, then your girl ghosted you because "Once a beta-cuck, always a beta-cuck"?

former-bishop · 2017-06-14T20:09:59+00:00

She's completely deleted Snapchat, ... making her accounts private ...She has given me complete access to her phone

This will cause her to resent you. Also, the moment she asks for her privacy back - you will immediately wonder why. This behavior can't be a part of a healthy relationship. It's used by cults, religions and crazy women to control people.

LTR is difficult, but it can be done and you can be happy. That said, it's a non starter to begin an LTR with cheating and distrust. You are setting yourself up for a massive heartache down the road.

Break up - keep your cool. Just tell her it's not going to work. Then Ghost her.

Scurvemuch · 2017-06-14T19:52:14+00:00

you are a betabob

you think she "took notice"

you are willing to work out something other than level 1 plate status with a girl who put herself in a position to cheat on you and did cheat on you.

You have not yet taken the "red pill".

You have no self respect. So she doesn't respect you

chachaChad · 2017-06-14T20:01:37+00:00

I believe sidebars say to demote. You have been warned.

TxnyMontana · 2017-06-14T22:54:29+00:00

You're a pussy who doesn't even respect yourself. GTFO from TRP.

and next that bitch.

raisins3142 · 2017-06-15T04:37:59+00:00

You are trusting someone to be honest that has proven that she can both lie and do untrustworthy things that betray you. You are going off her words here. You have no reason to believe she is telling you the whole truth or that you can trust her. You say you can tell, but many manipulators and liars are very good.

Your GF spread her legs and let another dude fuck her, and she liked it, and she kept it hidden for some time.

If you were really killing it and had options and self respect and no oneitis, then why would you stick around for this experiment to see whether she really has changed?

It is very difficult for people to change.

What were the circumstances around the cheating? Where was she drinking and whom did she fuck?

fakeplastictrees87 · 2017-06-15T08:58:27+00:00

why are you even asking anything? are you going to let yourself being disrespected that much? she cheated. just leave that hoe.

sparkespress · 2017-06-18T21:39:45+00:00

Next. She cheated on you. Didn't even have to read most of your wall of text to tell you that. Get a better woman

Kommanderdude · 2017-06-14T15:15:04+00:00

Idk. Were you exclusive at only a month in? If not. It's not a problem in my book. A month in is plate level. I don't expect my plates to not be out fucking other guys. They're plates... it's what they do. If you were exclusive a month in then you have problems with oneitis.

AnonymousAndLovinIt · 2017-06-14T15:24:28+00:00

Her confession is a testament to the relationship. You were beta, now you're alpha. She treated you like a beta before because that's who you were, and now she treats you like an alpha because that's who you are.

Some form of punishment is justified, but don't squander what you have too quickly.

Title	Should I forgive LTR or next?
Author	Kaldaren
Upvotes	3
Comments	55
Date	June 14, 2017 2:53 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6h7zkq/should_i_forgive_ltr_or_next/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/should-i-forgive-ltr-or-next.92607 https://theredarchive.com/post/92607

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