Why shouldn't I just kill myself?

H3lius · 2015-02-15T17:43:53+00:00

I love how people in the comments are trying to persuade you not to kill yourself. "Life is X", "You should X", blah blah blah.

Your entire post is based on self defeating presumptions. You don't want to work for someone else for pennies on the dollar? Then don't. You don't want to put in effort to securing your own personal personal income? Then don't... You don't want to improve yourself to see it all slide downhill as you age? THEN DON'T...

However, with each "Then don't" I provided, you'll just use your current mindset and go "Well, then I'm going to kill myself and then I don't have to". That's weak and cowardly. Straight up.

Things happen FOR YOU, not TO YOU. Your mindset is all fucked up man. The grayness and laziness you're breathing in are unfounded and short-sided. If you were rational, you would see that the more you focus on doing things to love yourself (eating right, working out, etc), you become more attractive. Women come to you. There is little work to obtain intimacy when you're following your passion and being "RP". Money? Get passionate about something. Like playing guitar? Find a way to make money doing it. Boom, you can love your job and work for yourself.

You need some catharsis bro. It's actually IRRATIONAL and CORWARDLY to think killing yourself is your only way out of whatever pain you've put yourself in. You're not going to kill yourself, because cowards don't kill themselves. My father is a great example of a coward that couldn't off himself when he was going through depression. But hey, that helped him prevent devastating his entire family and scarring each one of them so maybe being a coward is a good thing. Again, mindset is everything. The world is gray because you've made it that way. The world looks quite colorful to me, even with all of the bullshit going on.

harkrank · 2015-02-15T16:31:39+00:00

Let me help you. Tell me about your situation and where you live and I'll help you sort it out. You probably need a different environment. Suicide is not a sovereign thought, it has been planted into your head. Don't let other fucking people kill you by abusing your mind.

ContinentalRP · 2015-02-15T16:21:42+00:00

I think total anarchic egoism might be your thing. Go read Max Stirners 'The Ego And It's Own', it's like existentialism but less defeatist. I'd kind of like you to promise me to not kill yourself before you read it. It's available as audiobook (on youtube) and there are numerous translations on the web for free.

Another thing, sort of obligatory: you might want to seek professional help. Specifically "my world slowly lose all its color" is one of the most typical things for depression. Studies have even show that you literally see less colour when you're depressed. I can't force you to get help, and you seem to lack a bit of money, but surely there is a way to get there. Honestly there's nothing I can do to convince you it's worthwhile when you're depressed, but there are ways out of this state of mind you're in.

StWd · 2015-02-15T17:59:12+00:00

You're better off speaking to the people over at /r/SuicideWatch

As for your post, you're really not thinking rationally as much as you think you are. I understand your qualms about "professionals" and how life is difficult and seems meaningless. I had depression for ~6 years until a few months ago and can tell you that this mode of thinking and obstinate attitude will be something you reflect on with surprise.

Stop taking drugs for a couple of months and don't rationalise your use by the types and amounts you're taking because I've been there and done that and letting myself wash out for a few months was one of the best things I did to get out of depression. Also, don't just argue with everyone trying to give you advice because then they will end up giving up trying to help you- let people help you and get off your egotistical high horse about how your superior ethical standards are a barrier to your socialisation.

You can PM me if you want to explain your situation further but you can't expect any real help with this cry for help with no detail post.

ohsnapt · 2015-02-16T01:06:52+00:00

Bitch please. I hope you see this comment.

I'm naturally a nice guy, and guess what? It gets me everything I want in life. Doesn't mean you have to be a wimpy crybaby. If I have the time and resources to offer my help damn right I do it. And being kind and courteous is only beneficial. People want to help people who are nice, idiot, it comes back around.

Step 1: do something death defying within a controlled circumstance. Like skydiving (with an instructor who pulls the 'chute) or white water rafting. this will reaffirm your desire to be alive hopefully. A shock to the system

Step 2: stop reading the red pill, stop watching tv, stop porn and do the nofap challenge, stop reading the news, stop facebook (if you can) etc. While there are some nuggets of truth in all of these, they will make you insecure and hate yourself and in some cases compare your day to day to other peoples' highlight reels.

Step 3: go travel. the best antidote to your troubles are to pick up and go somewhere else, do things old you would never do. A few years ago I just booked a plane ticket to San francisco, after dropping out of school in Canada. Told my parents the same day and bye. Had a wild adventure, saw some titties, learned some shit about myself, danced on stage in a nightclub, got punched in the face, discovered electronic dance music, took drugs, lived in an awful house with too many people, found a career path, and etc.

It's not desire to die in your case, it's lack of excitement. get on it son

ThoseFuckingSnakes · 2015-02-15T18:30:47+00:00

Wrong subreddit. If you just want to whine about your problems go to /r/foreveralone. Or do in fact just kill yourself. We choose to work on our problems here and we're not your feel good support group. Either get your shit together or piss off.

Piroko · 2015-02-15T15:26:05+00:00

I've thought about this very question a lot. I have an answer for you.

Schadenfreude.

I wake up every morning because I believe that one day the feminists who have destroyed this country will get theirs. When that day comes, I'll be there laughing; perhaps I'll even survive it, and see the world that comes after. It's not much to live for, but it is enough.

"Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee." -Moby Dick

anothercarguy · 2015-02-15T17:03:19+00:00

Either end the life or better, end the life perspective.

You have given everything away as "the nice guy". When something is free it is by definition worthless. So by eing the nice guy you debase yourself. You have worth, expect returns on services.

Deep down you are strong, you just have to learn how to express that strength. How to avoid being manipulated. It takes time (maybe some meds too) but when you emerge from the fog you are a better you.

EDIT I thought this was an askreddit thread so I answered much more PC than I normally would have

ZombieJorge · 2015-02-15T18:28:04+00:00

Wrong subreddit. See r/suididewatch.

ZombieJorge · 2015-02-15T18:37:25+00:00

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here. Life isn't for everyone. There is some deep shit going on, some ignore it, refuse to believe it. Instead of focusing on their problems they talk about empheral topics: celebrities, gossip. You've fallen from grace. No one here can help you as much as you can. You already refuse to enjoy life, why should I tell you? When you opt out, please don't do it in the public domain, don't ruin someone's day because of your selfishness. Go hiking and let nature recycle you. You died the moment you contemplated suicide. You're not you anymore more as an amphibian living inside of your hollow body. 21 years down the drain. Your mother would be proud.

randarrow · 2015-02-15T21:16:35+00:00

Read Evolutionary approaches to depression on Wikipedia. It's a list of the theorized causes for depression. Then, figure out what is causing this.

Also, study dopamine overload and withdrawal.

Monk mode will help.

One joke I heard is that 'should I kill myself' is actually the only meaningful philosophical discussion....

RPdoctor · 2015-02-15T23:37:16+00:00

I've been lurking this sub and TRP from my main account for about a year, and I've never felt compelled to post or even to go through the trouble of making a separate account from which I might post. Just been reading, thinking, absorbing, doing my own thing. Until today.

Like you, I used to be a classic nice guy. Also like you, I have major depression. Not currently, but I've had 6 major episodes since age 13 (currently in my 30s), with passive and active suicidal ideation, though never had a plan. I've been institutionalized once as a result, for 3 months (also against my will).

Unlike you, I am a doctor (not a psychiatrist, though), and I can tell you with 99% certainty that you have major depressive disorder with suicidality, and if you were my patient I would admit you against your will without hesitation, as you are a clear danger to yourself.

The insidious thing about depression, and I say this from both personal and professional experience, is that its symptoms are self-reinforcing. Like many serious psychiatric diseases, the effects of the disease itself impair your ability to rationally act in your own self-interest. It is a disease that by its very nature saps your will to live. That's all it does. That is depression, the sense that nothing matters, that everything is pointless/hopeless, that there is no horizon. The problem, then, is that when this is your outlook, you cannot know whether a plan to kill yourself is a rational solution or not.

Some people will tell you that suicide is, by default, never rational. I disagree. In my clinical experience, I've seen a lot of people die, and a lot of people suffer through pointless misery fighting the inevitable. I harbor no illusions about life having a grander purpose. It doesn't. It is a series of random, meaningless events. Life does not have any intrinsic value, i.e., value unto itself. It only has value if you value it.

So what do you do? You wait. Depressive episodes last a long time, even with treatment (1-6 months with treatment, 6-12 months without). But even untreated, they end. So, you wait until you can actually see a horizon, and only then do you decide whether the inherent meaningless of life is sufficient reason to stop participating. Otherwise, your insight and judgement are fucked, and I know you know it.

My personal take, when I'm symptom free, is that on the whole, life can be pretty decent. Because, titties.

So, I hope you didn't kill yourself yet, and I hope you get the chance to read this, and I hope it helps.

RandallWho · 2015-02-15T17:18:48+00:00

sounds like you are dealing with depression. Have you considered going and seeing a counselor?

lemoncakesaregross · 2015-02-15T15:57:33+00:00

Heres an idea

If you're going to kill yourself go spend alll your money on shit. Travel, blow, hookers, scuba, skydiving, whatever you want

After you've spent all your money see if you still want to and go from there

bluesunl · 2015-02-15T16:56:02+00:00

You sound a lot like me. For me I have family and a few friends who I don't want to hurt by committing suicide.

With that being said. I know what's required to become good with women and eventually find a relationship if I want. I also know what's required to become comfortably wealthy.

But I just don't feel like it. I don't really want to buy anything much. Nor do I think a relationship would be particularly valuable.

Do you have any interests or hobbies? Right now my biggest interest is playing guitar and getting better; specifically at jazz and some blues. I think the sound of certain artists perfectly expresses my views on the world and I want to learn their music and create my own.

Outside of music, I've gotten pretty serious about bodybuilding. I'm not looking to become a mass monster, but more around the size of physique model.

You're right though. It's all meaningless. Everything is just a fun distraction. You are depressed though. And that can legitimately affect your thoughts and feelings.

Have you ever felt extreme euphoria, pleasure or happiness? Remember how everything seemed beautiful and radiant? Depression is no different from that euphoria. I would recommend seeing a therapist, starting to meditate, quitting the interwebs, exercise, and reading more.

bhooooo · 2015-02-15T17:43:32+00:00

Try cold therapy... In poor words, sink your body in cold water until you can't take it anymore. Focus on your breath which must be deep, controlled and calm.

Meterus · 2015-02-15T18:26:36+00:00

So, rationally, the decision is to end my life.

Hell, no, you gotta live long enough to be a burden on society! Best way to get revenge against the whole world.

masterrod · 2015-02-15T22:46:14+00:00

Im naturally a "nice guy", as a child even I would always share my food and toys with the people around me. But this isnt a valued trait, and really has only left a target on my back.

for whom?

So, rationally, the decision is to end my life. I offer nothing the world wants, the the world offers me nothing I want. Thoughts?

If you are so benevolent you should find cause to share your time with, see if you can find someone that values your time. This could be your neighborhood church, could be anyone.

Otherwise call the suicide watch hotline.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2015-02-15T23:24:14+00:00

You have depression and anxiety issues. Both highly treatable and with a very good prognosis...... if you choose to ask for professional help.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem that is easily fixable in your case. This isn't stage 5 terminal bone cancer or Alzheimer's you're talking about here.

Note that, in the long run, we all get out of life what we believe we are going to get. The facts don't matter. Choose to believe you have personal value to offer the world, and it will become part of your personal reality.

Depression is a real biological disease. One of the ways you cope with the constant pain and fear is to develop negative beliefs and thought loops that inhibit you from participating in the outside world. Because depression magnifies all painful negative events and stimuli way out of proportion.

So working to change your thought + belief systems is one step. The second step is to ask for professional help from a doctor or counselor.

teeay · 2015-02-15T23:52:17+00:00

Ive been watching my world slowly lose all its color. The things I used to enjoy seem like chores. Even simple consumptive pleasures, like food or tv, arent really pleasant anymore.

You are depressed. Seek therapy, get outdoors more, hit the gym, you'll soon feel better. Oh, and (good) food is awesome but TV actually is shit, you're missing nothing there.

I offer nothing the world wants, the the world offers me nothing I want. Thoughts?

OK, but you may not like them... You can change both what you can offer the world, and what you want from the world. There is a better was than being a nice guy. Takes some work though.

333i · 2015-02-16T01:53:45+00:00

Where are you ? I'm shaman. Suicide may be the rational decision considering the circumstances, but circumstances are not permanent unless you finalize them. Come see me

paynehouse · 2015-02-16T05:21:22+00:00

I really don't want to condone this fucking behavior. You're acting like an attention whore.

But before you off yourself, just leave. Hop on a train and be a hobo. /r/vagabond is a good place to start.

realdev · 2015-02-16T08:19:15+00:00

But this isnt a valued trait, and really has only left a target on my back.

It's a valued trait if you are higher up in the corporate world.

ven5 · 2015-02-16T17:34:37+00:00

Geez lighten up brother. You've been in 100% control of how you feel your entire life and never once tried to take that control? Who cares about what you win and lose in life, you've got an empty page to scribble whatever you want into and then die anyway. Take it from someone who's been in your situation, you've got nothing to fear in either life or death. You've already shown that you're willing to give it all up. Put more syrup in those pancakes if they're not tasting so good.

redpillromp · 2015-02-16T19:18:46+00:00

Because sea turtles are cool.

JoshuaGr33n · 2015-02-15T17:47:22+00:00

You're the result of millions upon millions of years of evolution. From the smallest atoms at the beginning of everything until now. Your ancestors battled disease and wildlife and weather for centuries, to create you. You've been given a gift. TRP can change your reality and make it depressing at first, but don't think that it's black and white. The best relationship is one of balance. Most recommend a 70-30 split between "alpha" and "beta" traits. You can still be nice, and share, and all of that. As far as not wanting to work for someone else and not wanting to improve yourself, that's just lazy. Everyone works and if you're not improving yourself then you're wasting the breath of life, the bones in your body, the muscles under your skin, and the energy inside of you. So what that we age and we slowly deteriorate? That's just what happens man.

We're monkeys flying on a rock through space. It's fucking epic dude, make the most of it.

misdis · 2015-02-15T17:59:04+00:00

Suicide is fine. Malignant mental illness is not worth living with. Your suicidal thoughts are a gift in some respect. Many people rationalize their way through 80 years of torture. You could be out in 21.

CommodoreSillyPants · 2015-02-15T18:06:50+00:00

I used to have suicidal thoughts as well. In fact I still have them occasionally, fuck I had them last night on the drive home.

The reason I keep going is because I know that deep down I truly don't want to die. It may seem like the desire to die is deep down, but if you truly view yourself and think about it, you'll realize that it's much more superficial than you think. If worse comes to worse and you decide to try and go through with it, then you'll see at the last moment, hopefully before it's too late, just how right I am.

A couple years ago, almost everytime I had to drive on a freeway I would sort of zone out, and keep accelerating as fast as my car would go, there were times when I honestly hoped I would hit a wall or swerve off the road, I really wanted to die. But then as soon as I felt my car wobbling, or the bumpers on the side of the road I snapped awake and was fucking scared. I was goddamn terrified of dying. In that moment everything went away and I realized that dying wasn't something I really wanted, it was just the easy way out. And the easy way out is NEVER the best way out, don't let anybody ever tell you otherwise.

It's not worth it, brother. It seems hopeless and like there's no point, but just give it time. I'm not saying you should bring yourself close to it to experience the superficiality of it, but I promise you that it isn't as deep a feeling as you think.

If you need to talk about it or want to share more experiences, feel free to message me.

minoc_uo · 2015-02-15T18:23:12+00:00

Diet and exercise routine helped me deal with a lot of my internal shit. It helps in so many aspects including getting women.

It's not cheap, but MMA type classes. You'd be surprised how good a 3 minute round of sparring makes you feel. Plus the confidence boost and its a social thing, you meet people.

twent222 · 2015-02-15T22:05:52+00:00

Hey, I just wanna say that I know how you feel. You're not alone.

homo_homini_lupus · 2015-02-15T20:05:25+00:00

Do it outside so you don't get blood in the house

Title	Why shouldn't I just kill myself?
Author	newuser775
Upvotes	1
Comments	109
Date	February 15, 2015 3:18 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2vz4fs/why_shouldnt_i_just_kill_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/why-shouldnt-i-just-kill-myself.146201 https://theredarchive.com/post/146201

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