"You dont act like a black guy"

Newbosterone · 2017-01-06T17:46:47+00:00

Studies show stereotypes exist because they're just accurate enough to be useful. You can't change what people believe, only how you react to it. Pick the man you want to be, and use your reaction to get there. If you see yourself as a victim, you diminish yourself. If you get angry, use it to motivate yourself to get better. If you get amused, use it to center yourself.

In terms of how you react, any of the game techniques work for any interaction - Amused Mastery, Agree and Amplify, etc.

Looks at hand; "I'm black? Damn."

"It's cause I've got Fickle Cell Anemia, it makes you act white."

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-01-06T19:36:07+00:00

Reply: "I know. The union is getting on me about it. I have to go back and read 'Black Like Me' and 'Black Boy' again."

Reply: "If you want, I can mug you."

A buddy of mine who is an enormous black dude with a college wrestler's body used to tell this joke: "I was walking down the street and this elderly white couple looked at me like I was going to mug them....so I did."

rubenbrasil · 2017-01-06T18:24:24+00:00

You mentioned your asian buddy got it too. All races get it. Just laugh it off and ignore it - its a shit test.

Just keep grindin bro and level up

tekende · 2017-01-06T21:08:11+00:00

I have some super secret KFC rewards card

Could you get one of these for me? Or will it not work if the cashier can clearly see that I'm not black?

g4casting · 2017-01-06T22:25:20+00:00

"Well, I'm hung like one". Then wink and hold laser eye contact while biting your lip.

spartan_317 · 2017-01-07T17:50:36+00:00

In the times this has happened to me I say the following

"I am not actually black, this is just a giant mole".

Tends to shut people up.

DonaldBaelish · 2017-01-06T17:30:52+00:00

Tell them that you are actually not black and start singing Hasta el Amanecer.

Also , nothing wrong with those Timbs. Stylish.

Mustaka · 2017-01-06T22:46:49+00:00

"I will be abducting some white special needs kid later today. Want to join me"

Deflect and amplify.

nathanisfat · 2017-01-06T23:47:51+00:00

They mean you're not a nigger. Say "thanks" and get over it.

Azn here. I get "ching chong can you help me with my math?" about once a week. Shit's funny.

HolographicWhaleTail · 2017-01-07T03:59:11+00:00

I'm half black, half Mexican. Most of my friends were Mexican and I'm mostly attracted to Mexican and Central American girls. I've been hearing that "you're not like other black guys" and "I wish more black guys were like you" since a teenager. It's supposed to be a compliment, I assume, they just don't know how to put it.

It used to offend me, I'd think "How are other black guys?" but at this point, I just shrug it off.

LonelyDeplorable · 2017-01-07T06:04:44+00:00

You should have said yes it's bc my dicks only 9 inches, most blacks are over 13...

Corliame · 2017-01-06T17:25:31+00:00

Human nature

We imagine different tribes to act a certain way (doesn't help with media portrayals) and are shocked when reality hits us with something completely different. Whilst some people could see this as racist, usually it isn't, it's just lack of exposure, or an overexposure to stereotypical people. Who knows? XD

menial_optimist · 2017-01-06T17:30:05+00:00

Don't let it affect you. When someone tells you this they're just demonstrating their low value thinking. It's their pre-programmed herd thinking from TV. How to respond? Amused mastery perhaps

"No, I because I'm a Super Black guy"

Get creative!

TheHafrikan · 2017-01-06T18:35:26+00:00

I think if someone is still saying that to you after week 4, you should let them know. While unfortunately they may view that statement as a compliment, you do not. If they cant work with a black guy with self respect that's their issue. Abundance mentality, yeah?

Outside of business, i live for situations like these. I usually get "So... what ARE you?". I think half-amused is my favorite answer.

Good luck, hope my username checks out.

kenpachitz · 2017-01-06T18:40:36+00:00

"Pssh, biiiiitch. Step off. You don't know me, cuz. Life in the projects was hard, yo. But my mama didn't raise no bitch and you know we ain't NEVER forgot about Dre."

marianasentmenudes · 2017-01-06T19:04:35+00:00

I get told I don't act Mexican at times. Don't sweat over it

bitchpotatobunny · 2017-01-06T20:07:49+00:00

I would say a combination of Amused Mastery and Agree and Amplify. Something along the lines of:

"Damn, you're right! I keep forgetting I'm supposed to mug you and go get chicken with your money. Remind me next time." Said with a smile of course. The type of smile that says "I find it funny that you don't realize how racist your statement was."

Then go tell your non-nerdy jacked Asian buddy about it and have a good laugh.

DEVi4TION · 2017-01-06T21:23:33+00:00

Only above the belt lol. Eh kitchen humor.

[deleted] · 2017-01-06T21:24:25+00:00

Treat it like a shit test because it's basically the same thing. Instead of being tested because you're presenting alpha, you're being tested because you're presenting yourself like a normal human being. They just want to make sure that there's not a low-quality person wearing a high-quality person mask, just like girls shit test to make sure you're not a butthurt beta faggot masquerading as an alpha.

4uu8 · 2017-01-06T21:56:16+00:00

"Yeah, who would've thought black people have different personalities like every human being in the world?"

judo_ftw · 2017-01-06T23:00:39+00:00

While Agree & Amplify is good for certain social situations, a simple shrug of the shoulders and getting back on topic would probably be the best bet.

Every African-American professional I've worked with is able to pretty seamlessly "act black" but at the same time, they typically acted like the rest of us acted, like professionals in a professional setting.

I recall an old coworker, a soft spoken Ethiopian civil engineer. He said his time in Detroit was the most miserable of his life due to racial expectations. Asians were his only friends.

It's past time we starting judging men by the content of their characters.

Good post, great attitude!

TRIICT · 2017-01-06T23:40:47+00:00

"Black Validity" Shit test is a bitch my dude. I get it a lot because I dont act like a prototypical nigga.

You have to laugh it off and amplify or "thats hella racist" (in a jokey tone)

I banged this girl in Denmark who threw this at me right before I fucked her and I was like "Dont believe everything you see on TV"

pr0gression · 2017-01-06T23:55:11+00:00

This struggled with this shit growing up. It always got to me and actually brought me into a pretty dark mindset. It really fucked with my confidence.

TRP taught me to treat this as a shit test. Agree and amplify. Don't let it consume you at all, and be proud as fuck of who are.

shawn10026722 · 2017-01-07T01:13:42+00:00

they think I have some super secret KFC rewards card that only black people get

That had me LMAO.

Docbear64 · 2017-01-07T02:08:14+00:00

I know this one well , I just chuckle and it lets me know the mental ability of the person I'm talking to . If the most striking thing about me to you is what I'm not then outside of business / money we have nothing to talk about .

Shit gets annoying but It's not worth getting too upset about IMO .

Only thing worse is when someone tells you they " Feel like a black person " .... That one takes ALL of my restraint to keep me from snapping at them .

Sensei_Hensei · 2017-01-07T03:09:44+00:00

Use it to your advantage.

Only white people are allowed to be individuals. Everyone else is a caricature of their race.

The_Good_Delusion · 2017-01-07T08:11:42+00:00

Get used to it, embrace it. When you contradict stereotypes associated with your group, it makes you more unique, unforgettable, mysterious.

I used to get that as well (I'm not black, but there are many negative stereotypes about people of my nationality). When they would say "You don't look like X", I would simply respond "Oh really, and what is a X supposed to look like?" That would put them on their toes a bit because I communicated I was interpreting their compliment as somewhat xenophobic. It also communicated my pride of my background, and readiness to defend it.

I will be watching the comments here, maybe I can find some suggestions I can use too.

Iguessthisismynameno · 2017-01-07T12:04:10+00:00

We all have that one stupid line/joke/question/observation it seems like everyone we meet needs to repeat.

I have an eye condition and have to wear these huge goggle type sunglasses pretty often, every fucker I meet points out how large and impractical they are; it's repetitive and boring but then so are most people.

It's a waste of energy to be annoyed by, people just tend to think the same is all.

jdgrazia · 2017-01-06T18:57:19+00:00

no dude, that's some racist shit. If anyone pulls that and you say "excuse me?" they will immediately backtrack and apologize.

it's your good nature that is allowing people to get away with this shit.

KriegerAleks · 2017-01-07T11:40:20+00:00

Hey buddy , Hey buddy . Welcome to the real world. Im white and I get both. Both being told and hearing how "white" stuff is and how im not acting white, my buddy gets told shes not black enough. Stero Types are dumb but everyone deals with them, so grow a pair and get over it. The reason they ask is cause you are different from the expectation.

nodoxsavefreespeech · 2017-01-07T05:16:01+00:00

Stereotypes, when applied to the masses, are often accurate. But when applied to the individual will often break down.

You are doing good work to deviate from the norm. Kudos, friend.

Title	"You dont act like a black guy"
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	22
Comments	61
Date	January 6, 2017 5:18 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5mesc4/you_dont_act_like_a_black_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/you-dont-act-like-a-black-guy.80344 https://theredarchive.com/post/80344

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