A girlfriend... | seduction

sinbad2011 · 2018-03-02T18:23:01+00:00

Hello, Just wanted to make this post to get everyone thinking about one of the most important issues we have as we start. I know I had it for a while. That...

[–]vitamann 47 points48 points49 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Murfdigidy 27 points28 points29 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]sinbad2011[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]sirbassist83 59 points60 points61 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]sirbassist83 18 points19 points20 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Nate4846 26 points27 points28 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]sinbad2011[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]V4refugee 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 8 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]johannthegoatman 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]johannthegoatman 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SyrusDrake 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That's actually probably the most important point to take away from the OP. You should value yourself enough to inherently believe that you're funny, and interesting, etc.

I don't go fuckin hiking, or take girls on "dates" and shit. I'm just a cool guy, so people tend to like me. Is that thought mostly in my own head? Maybe, but in terms of my interactions with people, it makes no difference.

Just be careful, because if you think too highly of your jokes, or of yourself in general, that can backfire on you. I'll always remember browsing the aisles at a Whole Foods with a friend of mine, and I kept cracking jokes -- but he would keep glancing at me like I was embarrassing him.

I still kept making jokes, and probably made him more embarrassed, and I just kept going until we left... but since then, it's always been in the back of my mind -- that I was just cracking dirty jokes in the middle of a health-food store, to the chagrin of my friend (who just felt embarrassed to be near me). It's all about compromise -- and for whichever girl you're with at the time, you wanna tailor your jokes/quips/whatever to suit her. If she's not a fan of swear words, then neither are you (unless you skillfully sprinkle them into the conversation).

Granted -- I like to swear, and I like to push people's buttons, so if I'm with a girl who can't at least accept it, then I probably can't be with that girl. My current girlfriend can accept it, at least. So we've been together for a while.

[–]NewbieCasanova 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GuyFromDaStore 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]dittendatt 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]IntrovertedMagma -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]johannthegoatman 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]IntrovertedMagma -5 points-4 points-3 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]frogma 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Then you're still dependent on the concept of "value." Value just refers to the general shit you can add to the relationship. Whether it be psychological, or materialistic, or financial, or fun, etc. If you lack "value" overall, that's why girls won't date you.

I personally don't provide much value overall (shitty job, no money, etc.). But I'm decent-looking, I know my way around sex, and I'm fun to be around, usually. Those last 3 traits are what keep me afloat -- otherwise I'd probably still be a virgin.

You don't need to care about meaningful relationships or any bullshit like that, but it's important to understand "value" as a concept, because it often comes up in conversation with random girls you've just met, and it can be the difference between going home alone or going home with her.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Then you're still dependent on the concept of "value." Value just refers to the general shit you can add to the relationship. Whether it be psychological, or materialistic, or financial, or fun, etc. If you lack "value" overall, that's why girls won't date you.

That's pedestalising women. That's perpetuating that pussy is a high commodity. And what does she exactly bring to the table that's so valuable?

I personally don't provide much value overall (shitty job, no money, etc.). But I'm decent-looking, I know my way around sex, and I'm fun to be around, usually. Those last 3 traits are what keep me afloat -- otherwise I'd probably still be a virgin.

Why do you place so much worth on getting laid? You clearly lack self esteem and gynocentrism has led you to believe that it must be you who brings the value. That's all women bring too. Is there looks. So you're on an even playing field.

it's important to understand "value" as a concept, because it often comes up in conversation with random girls you've just met, and it can be the difference between going home alone or going home with her.

You paint going home alone with such misery. Let's face it. A bar is a hideous place. It's a meat market full of people who are desperate for attention. Sure, it's an easy place to meet women but just LOL if you actually place so much value on her vagina. On the hopes that you will get laid.

The only value that matters is how you value yourself. When you become a self serving man and stop chasing women. Guess what happens? Women chase you. Why? Because women are notorious resource takers. They are always looking for high value men to take advantage of.

What you are basically doing is adhering to be the plastic alpha. And when you place your entire value on chasing pussy. That's not a fulfilling life. How about you stop handing women the reigns and start seeing if women are of value to you?

[–]frogma 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

That's pedestalising women. That's perpetuating that pussy is a high commodity. And what does she exactly bring to the table that's so valuable?

It's a 2-way street. You should be gauging her worth while also showing yours.

Why do you place so much worth on getting laid? You clearly lack self esteem and gynocentrism has led you to believe that it must be you who brings the value. That's all women bring too. Is there looks. So you're on an even playing field.

I've been with the same girlfriend for 4 years now. So.... not sure where you're trying to lead this conversation.

You paint going home alone with such misery.

No, I really didn't. You did. You're being a dick for no reason.

When you become a self serving man and stop chasing women. Guess what happens? Women chase you.

In an ideal world, you're exactly right. Except you still need to approach, converse, and escalate with those women. Unless you're Brad Pitt, you can't just stand there looking pretty.

How about you stop handing women the reigns and start seeing if women are of value to you?

Ok, I'm already doing it. You're the one responding on seddit questioning me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

It's a 2-way street. You should be gauging her worth while also showing yours.

Yet you said: If you lack "value" overall, that's why girls won't date you.

That's certainly not adhering to Pook's 'You are the prize'

I've been with the same girlfriend for 4 years now. So.... not sure where you're trying to lead this conversation.

And yet you feel you don't provide much value? Because of money. Which just goes to show you that women are dependant on your resources. This value system is heavily in favor of women who don't really have to bring the same to the table other than her looks.

To feel like you don't bring value because of lack of monetary means? Fuck that. Know your worth. You most likely bring as much and possibly even more to the relationship.

No, I really didn't. You did. You're being a dick for no reason.

' it can be the difference between going home alone or going home with her.'

Seems a fairly depressing motto to live by. For this just perpetuates that you are just a slave to your biological imperative. That a woman has much more worth than you. That her pussy is made out of gold.

I'd rather be at my home than try to lure a club sloot. But each to his own.

In an ideal world, you're exactly right. Except you still need to approach, converse, and escalate with those women. Unless you're Brad Pitt, you can't just stand there looking pretty.

Only if your mindset is that you must win them over. Such is the PUA fallacy.

But if you ignore them, most likely they will be more receptive to you. Quite openly in fact. And you only have to be mildly attractive. And what makes a man attractive? A man that values himself and not openly accepts the definition of what society states is his value. When you focus on yourself entirely, women like bloodhounds can sniff that out.

Attention is the currency that they most sought. Will they fuck you? Who cares. Because women only seek validation in such scenarios. Most of the time they won't be ready and willing. In a PUAs world, it's a numbers game. It cannot be escaped. You can't negotiate genuine desire. But you can be their source of validation for the day. And PUAs hand that to women so freely. Most likely he spends his time and all of his effort just to fulfill that validation she so desires. Such time could be better served in honing your craft or sculpting your body. Never for the woman though. Always for yourself.

However, a man of high value who simply is a self-developed man. Someone who values his time. Spends it wisely on investing himself. A woman can sense such a man from a mile away. Guess what? All he has to do is show up. That's literally all it takes for a woman to know if she wants to fuck a man. And sorry PUAs, women love to chase. Women hypnotise themselves and fantasise about such men. Ever been around a woman who seems besotted with a co-worker they walk past? Thus they have to fuck him to validate her worth.

Women always place themselves in scenarios in which they can meet such men. That's why they go to bars. That's why they strike up conversations or orbit around male spaces. All I'm saying is that if there's no genuine desire why bother conversing? It's going to be a waste of your time. It's going to be painfully systematic and push her up further on that pedestal.

[–]frogma 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

And yet you feel you don't provide much value?

No, I can guarantee that I provide little value as it pertains to a job and/or money in general. I make up for it in most other regards. Most importantly, I'm confident.

I'd rather be at my home than try to lure a club sloot

Then that's your prerogrative. I go to bars mostly. Not too many clubs in my area.

But if you ignore them, most likely they will be more receptive to you. Quite openly in fact. And you only have to be mildly attractive.

That's actually some old-school PUA stuff you're talking about. It can work great if you do it under the right circumstances. That's why "disqualifying" exists.

When you focus on yourself entirely, women like bloodhounds can sniff that out.

Maybe I'm wrong, but aren't you the same person I was conversing with before who basically hates women and hasn't been with many women? In that case, how do you know what women sniff out? What are you basing your assumptions on?

And sorry PUAs, women love to chase

Again, this is a huge thing with some old-school PUA techniques... so I dunno what your point is. Even now, I wouldn't text a girl back if I'm a bit busy with other shit -- I let her chase me, cuz I've got other shit going on.

That's why they go to bars. That's why they strike up conversations or orbit around male spaces. All I'm saying is that if there's no genuine desire why bother conversing?

You're making less and less sense as you go on. So I'm sorry, but I have no clue what your point is (or was) anymore. I met my current girlfriend at the bar. And we've been together for 4 years. And I cheated on her once (very early in the relationship, and I feel terrible about it), so I don't really know what point you're trying to make. There is a genuine desire, which is why you bother to converse. Girls orbit around male spaces (that's not true, but let's just go with your theory), so I also orbit around those male spaces -- also, I'm a male myself, so... I really don't understand anything you've said here.

[–]plowzedong -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	A girlfriend...
Author	sinbad2011
Upvotes	161
Comments	30
Date	March 2, 2018 6:23 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/81gd0b/a_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-girlfriend.1442540 https://theredarchive.com/post/1442540

Comments