Anybody here that started approaching in their 30s?

Ok_Potential359 · 2026-05-10T02:06:46+00:00

You never stop approaching. Always Be Approaching.

SpiritedExercise7164 · 2026-05-10T02:23:02+00:00

31M - Just got out of a 4+ year relationship a month ago and am excited to get out there. Was pretty devastating considering I planned to propose in the next few months and so want to get my mental health on track before I start.

duke_awapuhi · 2026-05-10T02:33:51+00:00

Yeah I turned 30 and started approaching after years of not even trying. It’s been about 7 months. I’ve had some success, but still figuring out the system. Approaching isn’t really the hard part as much as it’s directing the conversation in a way that gets me what I’m looking for and suggests to the woman that I know what I’m doing. I’m definitely making up for years worth of lost experience but I’m attractive enough that I’m well received. I think one of my biggest takeaways has been that if you don’t compliment their appearance soon enough and let them know you think they’re sexy or whatever, the window closes

justarandomuser10 · 2026-05-10T02:17:56+00:00

Here. It’s more fun now since you are more chill than in your 20s. I improved many things since I started in last few years. I never tried to get better in my game and never approached girls I liked for almost a decade. My ex wife would easily open her legs and fall in love again if she had a chance to meet me these days.

MineDesperate2920 · 2026-05-10T02:10:01+00:00

37 and yes

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-10T17:32:55+00:00

Yes, but the bigger picture at 30+ is that approaching is one of several channels you should be running.

Your dating funnel should have multiple inputs at once. Cold approach in bars and daygame. Apps optimized properly (most guys only take picture for the male gaze and not the female gaze and therefore lose 80% of their potential matches there). Social circle and warm intros from friends. Hobbies that put you around women regularly (dance, climbing, run clubs, wine drinking). Events and conferences in your professional life.

Cold approach is the highest-leverage skill because it builds confidence that transfers to every other channel. But the math at 30 favors guys with three or four active channels feeding the same pipeline rather than one guy grinding cold approach alone on weekends.

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2026-05-10T04:48:12+00:00

Started in 40s after failed marriage.

FromGymToQuim · 2026-05-10T01:46:00+00:00

I did about a year ago. I’ve been somewhat successfully. Not as much as I want to but definitely better than I did in my twenties. I’ve had a couple of lays here and there and I’ve been approached twice.

But I don’t have that crazy amount of experience some guys do.

colour_full_color · 2026-05-10T14:54:03+00:00

I guess many of us will be eligible in few years to answer

ReindeerFun3762 · 2026-05-12T05:44:15+00:00

It's easy to approach in like a bar, even though there's a high amount of rejection there. But it's harder to approach during the day when you're out. Like you're just approaching a random stranger because they look good are you crazy? I'd recommend just approaching in a place that you have mutual interest, because if you're just approaching random hot chicks you may get a number every once in awhile but they are likely to ignore any further attempts from ballsy man to start something serious. I have been out of the game for awhile though, and during my strongest point was able to sleep with a woman less than an hour after meeting her at the park. But in my experience cold approach never worked that well

InteractionThat6835 · 2026-05-12T10:53:06+00:00

Starting at 38 😬 been about 3 months. Approaching has gotten easier but it seems I struggle to flirt

invisibletraveler2 · 2026-05-13T11:42:27+00:00

At 32 I got sober. Until that point in my life i had been a angry, isolated introvert. I had some success with women. I took on the task of completely rebuilding myself. I worked on my behaviors, attitudes, physical condition and my social skills.

It has taken a lot of work. It took a couple of just building basics. I used my "practice interview" approach. I would start chatting up girls is wasn't interested in, just to get comfortable. Once I started getting dates I didn't have goals of hooking up, just practicing. And so on. I had a lot to learn. Especially on personal emotional behavior.

At 45 I am very satisfied. I will not claim to be a PUA or ever want to be. However when I want to pursue a woman, I do and consider myself pretty successful. I have hooked up with multiple (2-3) women in a day. I have hooked up with 4 with in 4 days.... I have found all of that completely un fulfilling.

What has worked for me... - Think about the type of women you are interested in. That is your audience. If you like drunk chicks and dumb conversation then bars and clubs are OK. But you are interested in other types of women, go to where they are. - Exposure. Go interact with people. Women do not get delivered by UPS to your door. Get involved in the kind of activities where the women you want to meet are. - Practice your personal skills constantly. But dont try picking up every chick you see. Desperate is not a flattering odor. - Establish Your Value. Take care of yourself. If you want to be able to meetup with gorgeous 20's and 30's in your 40's, then get a six-pack. Being a successful person is more important than money. Don't confuse these things. - Don't take it personal. A woman not being interested in you is a demonstration of her preferences not your value. Respect that. - Keep working on yourself. Take personal inventory. Learn when you are trying to hard (you will), not respecting boundaries, when you are missing ques, etc.....

Dudedawg86 · 2026-05-10T01:50:00+00:00

Yup. I've got a kid and want another one, but I seem to only attract the women that don't want kids. Fun stuff

Title	Anybody here that started approaching in their 30s?
Author	GNA-4
Upvotes	20
Comments	23
Date	May 10, 2026 1:40 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1t8tc0l/anybody_here_that_started_approaching_in_their_30s/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/anybody-here-that-started-approaching-in-their-30s.1580023 https://theredarchive.com/post/1580023

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