Approaching can be so difficult without looking like a creep

RealisticDiscipline7 · 2025-07-04T22:33:55+00:00

Unless you’re extremely goodlooking, trying to get her attention to see if she will give some kind of indication to approach (conscious or otherwise), likely will look like a bambi-deer-in-the-headlights look that says “huh? What about me? What do ya think?” So it’ll usually backfire.

Nick-Blank-Writer · 2025-07-04T22:16:44+00:00

I sometimes read this sub and I always get disappointed.

From many male perspective it seems always about "when I want", as if good timing is not a subject for men who kind of try to make "seduction" as their lifestyle. So I want to share a different perspective and even of you don't like it at least you can say you are aware of it but decided to ignore it.

To my perspective, seduction is about good timing, like being aware about the situation and have the gut feeling about when make your self "present", available and when to interact in a situation that would feel the most casual a natural possible, without think much about it and without trying hard.

If you are trying hard or think too much about it you are doing it wrong and that is why it feels creepy, because it is. If you are trying too hard and think too much about it it means that either you are not ready or that the situation or moment is not a good timing. In both case you end being awkward and have no sex appeal and even be suspicious or scaring to women who are having the first contact and impression about you.

My suggestion is to learn the joy of talk and interact with people, any people, only for the casual talk and interaction sake, and for thar you have to develope a genuine interest in people in general. So then you can learn the timing and gut feeling of when to talk to people, how to talk with people and what talk with people in a genuine interest and genuine casual manner. And eventually some of these people are going to be women you feel attracted to and this is when you can work your "seduction". And because it felt so natural, comfortable and casual to you, it will feel the same to people you approach, including the women you feel attracted. And all that also means the learning of when not to approach and move on without think about it, because it doesn't matter. The world if full of beautiful women and move on from one who was not approachable is not a reason to worry about.

It is not when you want but when the circumstances allow it, and that includes you being ready, have the maturity and healthy psychology, and develop genuine skills and interests. Other wise you will sense it feels creepy and some men feel guilty and for not being ready, when they should not feel guilty but just recognize that they are not ready and Life and seduction is more than just approach anyone strangers. Or you feel that as a man you "can" be creepy if you don't care about the women you approach other than just becoming a harassment for being desperate to have sex, to have attention or any other compensation.

That is all I have to share.

epimpstyle · 2025-07-04T21:42:16+00:00

I’m basically just waiting for the “right moment”

If the 'right moment' doesn't appear, you need to make it yourself. Yes, you might look like a creep if there's no context, but you need to create a context, and you'll start a conversation with her because you're friendly and social, this isn't creepy.

- If a girl walks past you, you need to speed up and go in front of her, then make a U-turn. This is the classic 'stop' move.

-If they have headphones, you need to walk directly towards her path. She'll notice you otherwise, she'll bump into you. The moment she looks at you... half the job is done, you have the "green light" for the opener.

However, you need to read the social cues. You wouldn't stop a lady if you clearly see she's in a hurry or if she's avoiding looking at other people...

ShakaPiontkowskie1 · 2025-07-04T21:42:34+00:00

You must look silly and creepy before approaching well. Same goes for every skill set, including this one. Do it poorly until you get it right.

bafun13 · 2025-07-04T21:58:03+00:00

Because you have expectations for randoos. Like approaching random men and expecting them to be your best friends.

COMPEWTER_adminisp · 2025-07-05T02:08:13+00:00

never approach from behind lol, the techniques and Strats to open and approach are there in the book, go read some books, watch some videos, its 100% your fault, your state of mind, your believes, and no situation is impossible, if you can't approach, start slow, start talking to people, with everyone, work on your voice, your posture, your style.

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-07-04T22:35:04+00:00

You won't go far if you can't believe in yourself.

deditor · 2025-07-05T06:19:15+00:00

Go in front over shoulder and will be less threatening.

jamesfalken · 2025-07-05T15:37:58+00:00

You perceiving what you do as creepy is 100% all in your head. Simply stop thinking like that.

CoachSlyDating · 2025-07-05T15:51:26+00:00

Trying to get their attention is a fools errand. You can occasionally get lucky doing this but the vast majority of the time it will fail.

If you are coming across creepy i’m guessing you are not smiling enough on your approaches. It should be a genuine “I’m excited to see you” kind of smile.

ResentCourtship2099 · 2025-07-05T17:04:16+00:00

Yeah that's another reminder

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-05T19:46:59+00:00

Let’s say you see a group of girls sitting talking with each other, you approach them sit down and say “hey guys you look cute, what’s your names?” and their reaction is bad telling you: “None of your business, get lost”

Sure, you could argue they are unfriendly bitches, and that other girls might be more friendly (which is true) and that you skipped a bullet, but there is actually a good reason why they reacted badly, which is because the way you did that approach was intrusive and presumptuous.

Immediately asking for their names without first gauging their interest in a conversation is presumptuous because it assumes they wanted to engage with an stranger, even though they had not indicated or given you permission to do it first.

You can again obviously keep doing the other approaches that got you a bad reaction, but if you are a beginner who have some anxieties and your goal is to just approach in a way that avoids those negative reactions, the best way is to do it the following way.

So this is a guide for begginers only on how to approach them to reduce risk as much as possible and still getting you started practicing.

You should seek permission to engage with them in a conversation, for example:

“Hey, I don’t mean to interrupt your conversation because i know that you did not come here to speak with some random guy, and I respect that so I’ll be quick. The thing is i saw your friend here and i thought “oh man, she is just my type, and i thought i would regret it if i didn’t at least try to get to know who she is as a person, you feel me?”

Here is why this opener is more likely to be received well even if they are not interested:

1 - Acknowledges boundaries:

By starting with “I don’t mean to interrupt,” you immediately show respect for their space and autonomy, making it clear you’re aware they didn’t come there expecting to meet a stranger. This reduces any sense of intrusion.

2 - Seeks permission:

The phrasing “I’ll be quick” and the acknowledgment of their current activity subtly ask for consent or permission to continue the conversation. This shows social awareness and makes them more likely to listen.

3 - Expresses honest intentions:

By sharing why you approached, you make the interaction feel genuine and avoid confusion. Saying “you are just my type” shows vulnerability and confidence without being overwhelming, which can disarm potential defensiveness

4 - Frames it casually:

Adding “you feel me?” makes it sound natural and conversational, rather than rehearsed or overly formal. This helps build rapport.

Even if they were not interested they would respond better because you showed respect and awareness of the social situation they were in which makes them feel understood right away and thus makes it more likely they would give a softer more polite reaction.

If she said “how dare you approach me”, you can just use sarcasm to ridicule her reaction “oh you are absolutely right, people should never meet people face to face, they should avoid each other and just send dick pictures in instagram to grab someone’s attention. Thank you for opening my eyes”

I’m a dating coach, so if you want to work on your interactions with women to have more dates that lead to kissing or sex book a free call with me here

CrvCrx27 · 2025-07-08T18:54:47+00:00

The only difference between a creep and a chad is the reception.

higamiyoshi · 2025-07-09T15:45:17+00:00

It makes me wonder if the real challenge here is not so much about finding the 'right moment,' but rather redefining what that moment actually looks like. From what I've seen, the best interactions happen organically, often when you're not trying too hard to make them happen. Maybe the key is to focus less on the approach itself and more on building genuine connections in everyday situations. Tap on her arm/shoulder or just wave (lightly) and say "Hey sorry to bother you, I wonder if you have a minute and if you don't that's totally okay I will stop to disrupt you immediately" usually you then gain 30s to explain the situation aka you think she's cute/charming and you start from there. If she already worked in front of you don't try to do it from behind, and you're right it kills. People can often sense when someone is being authentic versus just trying to make a move.

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-07-05T11:29:17+00:00

The "creepy" part is all in your mind. See my post the top 10 approaching excuses debunked.

For the "signals" part you just approach without any signals. The outcome of the approach is determined whether if you followed the 11 principles of approaching. If you follow those principles, you'll never be a creepy, even if you get rejected.

Do not approach a woman from behind. Walk faster, and past her, check her out and slow down to open.

tonyferguson2021 · 2025-07-05T07:45:32+00:00

Look up ‘London daygame model’

Title	Approaching can be so difficult without looking like a creep
Author	Futurecollegdropout
Upvotes	87
Comments	23
Date	July 4, 2025 9:20 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lrtpea/approaching_can_be_so_difficult_without_looking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/approaching-can-be-so-difficult-without-looking.1556352 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556352

Comments